Shyness: a curse or a wonderful talent?

shyness - 2houses

Shyness is not a definition but rather a description, behind which as many stories hides… Shyness is a belief, which feeds itself as a snake, eating its tail. When we do not believe in shyness any more, it ends up disappearing.

It is neither a character trait, nor a sign of personality and even less a fate. Between stimulating stress and paralyzing anxiety, the pallet of timidity is very varied.

In certain cases, it can become a true social handicap, a brake with the life, because the shy person is entitled neither right to speak nor right to watch.

Shyness can be a social timidity and then relates to timidity in the social interactions affecting the social instinct, but it can be of loving origin, and refers specifically to the difficulties encountered with the opposite sex, in seduction relationships.

In case of a tragic event, such as the loss of an employment, the loss of a expensive being, a separation or a divorce, we lose a part of ourselves, with the feeling of loss of self-confidence, return on oneself, anguish and timidity.

The shy person organizes its life in order to avoid criticisms and remarks, sometimes destroying: restaurants, coffee bars, stores are prohibited, any public space is not authorized to him and timidity is right of him. All its good intentions one thousand times reformulated could nothing make and the shy person is traumatized.

Thousand tricks and tips can be implemented to flat the bars of this invisible prison…

  • Be not shamed of your shyness. Assume it! The less you think of it, the more you have chances to remove it!
  • Be not afraid of the judgment of others. You have to accept the critics in order to progress.
  • Speaking about your shyness to your friends, by explaining them what you are feeling. It will allow you to feel less alone.
  • Practising a sport, participating to a cultural activity. It will allow you to overcome your shyness by integrating you into a group.
  • Following theatre courses, or public speeches groups courses
  • Assert yourselves in daring to say no and create the contact if possible
  • Be positive. Feel reassured and say to yourselves that you cost not less than the others, than you are able to be a positive person!
  • Do not hesitate to contact a therapist who can allow you to become emancipated
  • Participating to workshops or public speaking groups dedicated to the topic of shyness

http://centremergences.be

Dating after a divorce?

dating after divorce

Living a divorce is hard to everyone concerned by the situation, and looking for love after a separation or a divorce is sometimes a little bit tricky especially after spending many years with someone…

Divorce changes everything in your life!

You begin to doubt yourself in everything you do, which could lead you to depression and anxiety.

Divorcing can sometimes destroy your ability to trust again and depriving you of the opportunity to find that special someone.

This is the most fundamental problem that most divorced people undergo, and to learn how to get over the whole ordeal in order for you to live the life you truly deserve.

And now, a new life begins…

You are divorced, the papers are signed and you are quit with the lawyers’ payments and now your husband or your wife is your ex.

But you can ask yourself about how long do you want to stay single? Should you date with someone because your ex is? Do you want to remain single for the benefit of your kids?

Where do you find a new partner?

You are entering in a new phase of your life, it is a new beginning and it is also the opportunity to go out and create new relationships.

In order to find this new and great relationship with a woman or with a man, you must to “reenter” into the world of dating.

But before beginning to date, you need to accept that you are not married anymore.

In order to come back in the « world of dating », some advices can help you to make a successful date!

Read more on Metro UK

Maintaining an effective communication with your children after a divorce

effective communication - 2houses

Divorced parents communication is highly important as it has the highest purpose: the well being of the children.

Every time you contact your ex-partner, resolve to conduct yourself with class as your behavior might affect the situation of your children.

They are the focal point in every discussion as divorced parents, no matter what. It is a huge challenge that faces a parent after a divorce, in order to maintain a good and peaceful communication with your children!

After a divorce, emotions run high for children and parents.

Communication is important because children ask a lot of questions, so you should show and tell your children the love you have for them, and you have to know how your children are feeling.

Feelings of anger, betrayal and sadness can disrupt the communication process between the parents and their children, making major parenting decisions difficult and leaving children stuck in the middle. Each of these emotions needs to be recognized, accepted as real, communicated and discussed between parent and child. Youngsters need to feel free to ex­press these feelings within the family.

Setting reasonable boundaries can become the best line of defense, both for children and parents to reach a new equilibrium and to take into account that the youngsters feel more stable.

Life is to be lived with joy, and your children will be inspired by your positive attitude.

Hereunder, you will find some recommendations that can help you to encourage a positive and constructive communication with your children! 

Read more on Huffingtonpost.com

Is Alimony Still Necessary?

testimony - 2houses

In the realm of modern divorce, the concept of alimony, or spousal support, continues to evoke debates and discussions among individuals of varying age groups. While younger generations often perceive alimony as an outdated practice, older demographics, particularly those with prior marital experiences, argue for its enduring significance. This article delves into the multifaceted aspects of alimony, examining its historical roots, evolving societal perceptions, and its role in promoting financial equity in marriages.

Historical Perspective:

Alimony, deriving from the Latin term “alimōnia,” meaning sustenance, has a rich historical lineage dating back to ancient civilizations. Initially conceived to provide financial assistance to predominantly women post-divorce, it reflected traditional gender roles and property ownership dynamics. From the Babylonian Code of Hammurabi to the Ecclesiastical Courts in England, the concept of alimony evolved as a means to ensure the well-being of financially dependent spouses, primarily wives, following marital dissolution.

Evolving Societal Perceptions:

As societal norms progressed and gender roles evolved, perceptions surrounding marriage and divorce underwent significant transformations. With both men and women actively participating in the workforce, the traditional notion of alimony as a solely male obligation became increasingly obsolete. Contemporary family court justices are reevaluating outdated assumptions, striving for a more equitable interpretation of spousal support laws that transcends gender biases.

Financial Equality in Marriage:

In today’s society, characterized by dual-income households and shared financial responsibilities, the concept of financial equality between spouses has gained prominence. The idea that one party should receive financial support solely based on past marital status is increasingly viewed as outdated and inequitable. Instead, the focus has shifted towards assessing individual circumstances and needs, irrespective of gender, to determine the appropriateness of alimony arrangements.

Determining Alimony: Individual Circumstances:

While the need for alimony may vary depending on individual circumstances, certain situations warrant its consideration. For instance, when one spouse significantly outearns the other or if a parent needs to fulfill caregiving responsibilities for young children, temporary alimony can serve as a fair interim solution. The aim is to facilitate financial independence for the recipient while ensuring the well-being of all parties involved.

Shared Responsibility in Child Support:

In line with the rules about alimony, child support is about both parents doing their part to take care of their kids. It means sharing the costs fairly, based on what each parent earns. Child support plans try to be fair to everyone and focus on what’s best for the kids. If one parent stays home with the child because they’re not in school yet, the other parent should help out with money until that parent can work again.

Both parents need to chip in for their kid. If one parent earns a lot more, they should give more money to support the child. That’s just fair. So, instead of always splitting everything exactly in half, it might be more like 75/25 or whatever seems right. For instance, if a mom earns three times more than the dad, she should contribute more money to help with the child’s needs. It’s all about being fair to the child.

Promoting Fairness and Equity:

In essence, the objective of alimony and child support is to safeguard the financial stability of individuals and their children throughout and post-divorce. It is imperative that these mechanisms are not misused or leveraged as tools of retribution. Instead, they should uphold principles of fairness and equity, ensuring that neither party emerges as the victor or victim in the dissolution of marriage.

Conclusion:

As societal dynamics continue to evolve, the relevance of alimony in modern divorce remains a subject of ongoing scrutiny and adaptation. By acknowledging historical foundations, embracing contemporary perspectives on gender equality, and prioritizing individual circumstances, the legal framework surrounding alimony can better serve the interests of all parties involved. Ultimately, the aim is to foster fairness, equity, and financial stability in marital dissolution proceedings