Category: Uncategorized

Shyness is not a definition but rather a description, behind which as many stories hides… Shyness is a belief, which feeds itself as a snake, eating its tail. When we do not believe in shyness any more, it ends up disappearing.

It is neither a character trait, nor a sign of personality and even less a fate. Between stimulating stress and paralyzing anxiety, the pallet of timidity is very varied.

In certain cases, it can become a true social handicap, a brake with the life, because the shy person is entitled neither right to speak nor right to watch.

Shyness can be a social timidity and then relates to timidity in the social interactions affecting the social instinct, but it can be of loving origin, and refers specifically to the difficulties encountered with the opposite sex, in seduction relationships.

In case of a tragic event, such as the loss of an employment, the loss of a expensive being, a separation or a divorce, we lose a part of ourselves, with the feeling of loss of self-confidence, return on oneself, anguish and timidity.

The shy person organizes its life in order to avoid criticisms and remarks, sometimes destroying: restaurants, coffee bars, stores are prohibited, any public space is not authorized to him and timidity is right of him. All its good intentions one thousand times reformulated could nothing make and the shy person is traumatized.

Thousand tricks and tips can be implemented to flat the bars of this invisible prison…

• Be not shamed of your shyness. Assume it! The less you think of it, the more you have chances to remove it!
• Be not afraid of the judgment of others. You have to accept the critics in order to progress.
• Speaking about your shyness to your friends, by explaining them what you are feeling. It will allow you to feel less alone.
• Practising a sport, participating to a cultural activity. It will allow you to overcome your shyness by integrating you into a group.
• Following theatre courses, or public speeches groups courses
• Assert yourselves in daring to say no and create the contact if possible
• Be positive. Feel reassured and say to yourselves that you cost not less than the others, than you are able to be a positive person!
• Do not hesitate to contact a therapist who can allow you to become emancipated
• Participating to workshops or public speaking groups dedicated to the topic of shyness

http://centremergences.be

Living a divorce is hard to everyone concerned by the situation, and looking for love after a separation or a divorce is sometimes a little bit tricky especially after spending many years with someone…

Divorce changes everything in your life!

You begin to doubt yourself in everything you do, which could lead you to depression and anxiety.

Divorcing can sometimes destroy your ability to trust again and depriving you of the opportunity to find that special someone.

This is the most fundamental problem that most divorced people undergo, and to learn how to get over the whole ordeal in order for you to live the life you truly deserve.

And now, a new life begins…

You are divorced, the papers are signed and you are quit with the lawyers’ payments and now your husband or your wife is your ex.

But you can ask yourself about how long do you want to stay single? Should you date with someone because your ex is? Do you want to remain single for the benefit of your kids?

Where do you find a new partner?

You are entering in a new phase of your life, it is a new beginning and it is also the opportunity to go out and create new relationships.

In order to find this new and great relationship with a woman or with a man, you must to “reenter” into the world of dating.

But before beginning to date, you need to accept that you are not married anymore.

In order to come back in the « world of dating », some advices can help you to make a successful date!

Read more on Metro UK

Divorced parents communication is highly important as it has the highest purpose: the well being of the children.

Every time you contact your ex-partner, resolve to conduct yourself with class as your behavior might affect the situation of your children.

They are the focal point in every discussion as divorced parents, no matter what. It is a huge challenge that faces a parent after a divorce, in order to maintain a good and peaceful communication with your children!

After a divorce, emotions run high for children and parents.

Communication is important because children ask a lot of questions, so you should show and tell your children the love you have for them, and you have to know how your children are feeling.

Feelings of anger, betrayal and sadness can disrupt the communication process between the parents and their children, making major parenting decisions difficult and leaving children stuck in the middle. Each of these emotions needs to be recognized, accepted as real, communicated and discussed between parent and child. Youngsters need to feel free to ex­press these feelings within the family.

Setting reasonable boundaries can become the best line of defense, both for children and parents to reach a new equilibrium and to take into account that the youngsters feel more stable.

Life is to be lived with joy, and your children will be inspired by your positive attitude.

Hereunder, you will find some recommendations that can help you to encourage a positive and constructive communication with your children! 

Read more on Huffingtonpost.com

At a recent workshop I presented on Financial Equality in Marriage, a question about alimony came up. It began an energetic discussion between the various age groups attending. Women and men in their twenties and thirties felt that alimony was a thing of the past, an antiquated legality that no longer made sense. Those older, and some in second marriages, disagreed. They felt that alimony did still have its place in divorce proceedings and was created to aid ex-spouses, mostly women, who had no personal income or a very low income. Finally someone asked me, “What’s your take on alimony? I just made a bet with my husband on your answer.”

Oh the pressure! Here’s hoping my answer wins you the bet!

Alimony and child support is a two-way street but with a lot of twists and turns along the way. It is an imperfect system but it is the only one we have in place right now. As with any law, there is always room for improvement and revision and many family court justices are helping to make some necessary changes by reinterpreting the basic laws regarding alimony as a “male only” burden. In the past, it was assumed that when there was a separation or divorce, the man would support his former wife by paying alimony. If children were involved, he was also obligated to pay child support, which was a separate issue.

The paying of alimony can be traced as far back as the Babylonian Code of Hammurabi. The term alimony comes from the Latin word alimōnia which meant nourishment and sustenance. It was created to assure the wife’s (or “discarded” wife), lodging, food, clothing, and other necessities after divorce.

Alimony has an interesting history, one that was basically a somewhat derogatory assistance for women who were seen as the “weaker sex.” The law in the United States is based on the laws found in Ecclesiastical Courts in England. Since the husband was the sole owner of all marital property, and the wife depended upon him to provide for her sustenance, the English Ecclesiastical courts consistently ruled that the husband had the duty to provide for the wife after divorce as well. Otherwise she would become, “a burden of the people.” Heaven forbid there should be any burdensome women around!

While a woman is no longer considered to be a lesser partner in a marriage, and marital property after divorce is divided equally, there is still a strong feeling that a man owes an obligation to his former wife in a financial sense. This is being debated in family courts. There are people who try to cheat the system and that makes it bad for everyone involved.

Today, with women as well as men working outside the home, the idea that anyone with a well-paying job needs to receive extra income simply because they were once married is antiquated and ludicrous. If both partners are able to support themselves, additional money from a former spouse, barring child support, is unnecessary and punishing. However, there are exceptions as to when paying alimony to a former spouse is necessary.

No one should have to come out of the marriage losing financially. If one partner is more financially secure than the other, a form of alimony should be paid on a sliding scale. This goes for women paying alimony as well as men.

If a child is under school-age, and the mother or the father needs to be a stay-at-home parent, alimony is a fair accommodation until that parent is able to begin working outside the home. 
The support of a child should be the responsibility of both parents. If one makes considerably more than the other, the division of support should show it. Instead of a 50/50 support contract it may well be 75/50 or whatever is fair. A woman making three times more a year than her ex-husband is capable of giving more money to support the child. Fair is fair.

Alimony should be an equal opportunity responsibility. While the majority of alimony recipients are still women who are stay-at-home mothers and men are the ones who pay it, the system is changing and rightly so. Gone are the days when a healthy woman, capable of working, was supported for life simply because of the Mrs. in front of her name. And the same goes for any healthy man.

In the purest sense of the law, alimony was always meant to help and protect a former spouse who was incapable of taking care of herself/himself financially. Child support is a necessary obligation of parenting. Neither was meant to be abused or used as a form of punishment during divorce proceedings. The relationship reality here is that alimony, in spite of everything else that may be negative about divorce, should be the one part that is fair and just to both parties. No one should be the winner or the loser.

Kristen Houghton