Tips for Successfully Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Ex-Partner in the UK

Successfully Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Ex-Partner

Co-parenting can be challenging in the most ideal situations, however, when you are dealing with a high-conflict ex-partner, challenging is taken to all new levels. Unfortunately, for the sake of the kids, and often because of the courts in the UK, most parents will still need to co-parent with the partner, no matter how much conflict occurs in the relationship.

Thankfully, there are things that you can do to make co-parenting with a high conflict ex-partner successful and we will go over those tips.

Parental Responsibility, High Conflict and the UK Family Law

In the UK, high conflict does not always mean that there will be caveats made in the courts for your parenting arrangement. Both parents have parental responsibility and they need to be able to co-parent above and beyond that conflict.

However, in the event that there is toxic conflict or domestic violence, the parent can seek legal parameters to reduce the amount of contact and possibly gain full parental responsibility of the children. This is set for extreme situations so if it is simply that you are arguing because of the divorce or settlement, then the courts ask that you work through them with the help of a mediator or family supports.

In those cases, you need to just follow the tips and move forward toward success.

Tip For Success #1: Acceptance

Before you do anything else, take a deep breath and accept how things are. Your relationship can’t be changed at this point, and there is a big chance that you are getting divorced because of that. Accept that your old relationship is over and that you need to find some way to navigate these new waters around your ex-partner.

Next, accept that you can’t change your high conflict ex-partner. By accepting that fact, you can step away from arguments and set those boundaries that you need to successfully co-parent. In addition, when you accept that you can’t change your ex-partner, you can begin to focus on what you can control…your life, job, how you raise your kids when they are at your home, and those trivial things. You will stop trying to control who your ex-partner is or setting expectations (good or bad) that affects how you interact with that person.

Finally, you can accept that your ex-partner will only change if he or she decides to change.

Tip For Success #2: Focus on Low-Conflict

This is primarily around communication but it is best to try to be low-conflict, even when your ex-partner is being high-conflict. If you find that you stumble into arguments when you see each other, ask for a third party for handoffs. You can say that you have to work, etc. to avoid an argument about not picking up or dropping off, or you can be honest and say that you don’t want to chance an argument in front of the kids.

If you can avoid arguments at handoffs, give your ex-partner other ways to discuss high-tension topics. You can suggest a mediation app like 2houses, email, or texting. Try to avoid any face to face or verbal conversations.

When you do any type of communication, make sure that it is low conflict. If you are feeling angry, frustrated, hurt, etc., take the time to calm down and then go and email your ex-partner. This is really important if you get a hurtful email or text. Take a breath, ignore it and approach it once you’ve calmed down.

Tip for Success #3: Don’t Take Things Personally

One of the best tips that I can give you is to not take things personally that your ex-partner says. Remember, when they are high conflict, they want to create conflict with you. And they don’t even need to start an argument with you. They can simply say something hurtful directly or in passing that can be devastating if you take it personally.

Instead, take a moment and collect yourself. Give yourself the assurance that what your ex-partner is saying is not true, that you are a different person than who you were when you were both together. Also, make sure that you go back to the statement that you can’t change that person. They are trying to hurt you and it is coming out in these ways.

And finally, don’t try to defend or explain yourself. What he or she thinks about you doesn’t matter. All that matters is what you think of yourself and your relationship with your kids. If you ignore the hurtful things, don’t take it personal and reaffirm who you are to yourself and your kids, you can avoid a lot of the pitfalls that parenting with a high conflict parent has.

Tip for Success #4: Match Conflict with Calm

It can be extremely easy to step into arguments with a high conflict ex-partner but one of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids is to not do it. When you step into the sandbox, as is said, you end up sinking to their level and it can become easy to be as damaging as they are.

Instead, set limits for yourself, disengage when you feel those limits being met and find ways to calm down so that you can match his conflict with calm emotion. The main point is to enjoy your life and the time with your kids and if you are left angry from a fight, you can’t do either.

Tip for Success #5: Set Some Boundaries  

Finally, when you are co-parenting with a high conflict ex-partner, it is important to set some boundaries and follow them. You don’t need to reply to every demand, text, email or answer every phone call. You can have space and you can have a protocol for emergencies if there is one.

Don’t let your ex-partner come to your home. Do all the meetings at public places and try to have someone there with you. This can help set boundaries and, if a conflict does happen, you can leave. It is a lot harder to get your ex-partner to leave if they are at your home.

Use a mediator for those moments when your ex-partner is not paying child support or doing things against the custody agreement. Don’t try to solve it yourself. More than likely, they are doing it to start a conflict and you tackling it yourself only feeds that conflict. Get the lawyers or mediators to deal with it.

While it is difficult, you can be successful when co-parenting with a high conflict ex-partner. You just need to set boundaries, avoid conflict and focus on your kids. Everything else doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of raising your kids.

The Role of Extended Family in Canadian Co-Parenting

Extended Family in Canadian Co-Parenting

Every parent knows that their extended family is a very important part of their lives when they are married. They provide childcare, offer advice and can be called on for an emergency if needed. Extended families within Canada serve all of these functions. However, what many parents are surprised to find out is that their extended family are integral to enabling them to co-parent effectively after a separation or divorce.

What are Extended Family?

Often, when we think of extended family, we think of grandparents and maybe aunts and uncles. However, that is not the only people who can qualify as extended family. Think about anyone important in your life and who have been important for your children.

With those thoughts in mind, extended family can include:

  • Grandparents
  • Aunts
  • Uncles
  • Cousins
  • Close Family Friends
  • Daycare Teacher
  • School Teachers
  • Coaches

So what is the role of extended family in Canadian co-parenting?

Well, let’s look at that very important question and go over the answers.

One: They Provide a Support System

The very first role that your extended family will play is the one of support. Remember that you are going from one house to two and this can mean that there are times when you need babysitters, or shuttling to and from places where neither you nor your co-parent can do it.

Extended family often help with this support and they can also be mediators at drop offs if you find that you have a high conflict break up and need someone you can trust to go with you.

It is important to note that extended family should not take sides or bad mouth the other partner, even if they are upset themselves. Around the kids, they should be a united front that is focused a 100% on the needs of the kids and not on the egos that have been hurt in the breakup. It isn’t easy but support should be just that, support.

Two: They Help Build a Child’s Self Esteem

Playing into the same premise of being a support, extended family provide a sense of belonging for the kids and they will look to those adults as role models for them to hold themselves up to. This is a very important role that extended family play because when the kids see their extended family being welcoming to them and their parents, they feel that support. And feeling that support and sense of belonging can increase their self esteem.

Another part of building the child’s self esteem is that extended family can reassure the kids that they are loved and lovable. They can also be people for the kids to talk to about their own fears, concerns and about dealing with the loss of having parents who are together.

With parents, extended family can be united in letting the kids know they are loved, they are welcomed to family events and nothing has changed in how the extended family sees them and all of that will build the child’s self-esteem.

Three: A Sense of Identity

Another important role that extended family play is the role of culture and identity. Children who have links to their extended family can have a sense of belonging to a community and group. This gives them a sense of identity and helps them process the loss that they are experiencing. While their parents are separating, kids can suffer from a sense of identity and being with their extended family can help them find that again.

Something else that is important with this is that kids can be a part of their cultural identity with extended family. Grandparents can teach traditions and language, cultural celebrations with the kids can be shared, and overall, kids can be part of their cultural community through their extended family. 

Four: Feelings of Stability

As you know, separation and divorce affects a child’s stability and their sense of stability as well. Often, houses change as parents move and split property. Schools can change and with that, so can friend groups. Kids feel a lot of turmoil and have a really hard time feeling settled.

That is why it is so important for extended family to be part of their lives. Extended family offer that stability that they need, especially if they were part of the kids’ routines prior to the separation. If there were family get togethers, such as Sunday dinner at the grandparents, kids can still attend and have that normalcy even if only one parent goes to that dinner ever Sunday night.

Another part of this stability is the continuity that they bring with them. Going back to those Sunday dinner, having those traditions continue after the divorce will help your kids setting into being between two houses.

This stability is very important for Canadian co-parents and their kids and will provide a lot of help in being successful co-parents.

Five: Love

While we’ve touched on this many times throughout the entire article, it is a really big one. Extended family provide love for the kids. They can be there when the kids need a break from their parents or when they just want to unwind.

It is important for extended family to provide a place for the kids that is filled with understanding and also to allow the kids time to vent without getting in trouble. When kids have this type of extended family, they can adjust to co-parenting more effectively and their well-being will continue to improve.

There are many ways that extended family members fill important roles in your co-parenting family and it is so important to include them. This helps you, your kids and your ex-partner with their well-being and sense of happiness and it will create a new family dynamic where your kids will always feel the support and love of those around them. So get in there, invite your extended family into your kids’ lives and cheer when you see all the benefits that comes with extended family.

Co-Parenting During the Holidays: Tips for Australian Parents

coparenting and holidays

The holidays! They are exciting, often long awaited for and many times extremely stressful for co-parents. There are only so many holidays and often, it can be difficult to really align schedules so that the kids can spend time with both parents over their break. Thankfully, while it can be challenging, there are ways that you can make co-parenting during the holidays extremely easy and enjoyable for all…and we are going to go over those tips in this article.

Find a Co-Parenting Mediation App

I am a huge fan of apps that can make like easier for me and this is especially true when it comes to co-parenting. The very first tip that I always recommend for people is to choose a great co-parenting mediation app. For me, that app is 2houses because it has so many features that make scheduling out those holidays a breeze. Plus, with the albums and journals, even if my kids go away with my ex-partner, I can see what they are doing and that really gives me a peace of mind when I can’t be there.

Plan Ahead

This can go hand in hand with a mediation app, but planning ahead is the best tip you can use when it comes to co-parenting during the holidays. First, kids often have time off school around the same time each year. It may fluctuate by a few days every year but it stays pretty consistent. Second, most schools will hand out a yearly calendar that lets you know when those holidays will be.

So with that in mind, there really is no reason why you can’t plan ahead for the school year and for any of the big holidays that they get.

With planning ahead, there are a few things you want to take into consideration:

  1. How the holidays were scheduled the year before? If you alternate holidays, you want to make sure that you are still alternating or splitting them up according to your co-parenting arrangement.
  2. Any special events that are happening. Weddings, special events for your kids, special holidays and so on. Think about the things you want your kids to attend, the events that your co-parent will need to attend as well and then plan the holidays around those dates so the kids can be at those events.
  3. Your own work schedule. Sometimes holidays need to be shuffled around to reflect your own obligations and work schedule as well as your co-parents.
  4. Travel days. If you are planning to travel for vacation with the kids, be sure to take into consideration your travel days so you aren’t eating into the other co-parent’s holiday plans.

Be Flexible

When you are trying to co-parent during the holiday, try to be flexible. Holiday plans can fall through. Work may change vacation time and there can be a dozen other things that can change. As co-parents, plan for contingencies if something happens. This will help cut down on the conflict between you and your co-parent and will also allow you to really enjoy the time that you can get.

With the contingencies, be sure to have another activity the kids can do as a backup plan if other events fall through. This way they will feel less disappointment as they can still do something fun on a day they were supposed to be doing something different.

Negotiate the Schedule

During holidays, schedules can really go out the window. It’s hard to make bedtimes, in hotels you may miss out on bath and bedtime routines, and travel days can wreak havoc on any time of normalcy that you create. However, schedules and routines are really important for kids, especially those going through separation or divorce, and it can lead to conflict if one parent is not following the regular rules and schedules you’ve set up.

However, holidays are a break, and sometimes that means it’s a break from the regular routines so be a little lenient on this. In addition, agree with your co-parent what changes to schedules and routines will happen over the holiday. Be sure to mark routines that are inflexible, but make changes with other ones that aren’t.

In addition, remember to discuss the gradual return to those routines so the kids are ready for school. Both co-parents will need to work the school schedule back into the kids’ routines so make sure you are discussing this as well.

Communicate with your Co-Parent

Finally, make sure that you are communicating with your co-parent. This can be done easily with a co-parenting mediation app but you can also communicate in person, by email and by phone. If you are travelling out of town with the kids for the holiday, have emergency ways to contact you and the kids through giving your co-parent the numbers to hotels you are staying at as well as your trip schedule.

In addition, make sure that you communicate when there are any changes. The sooner you discuss a change, the easier it is to avoid a conflict over the holidays. When you are communicating, be sure to approach it from a place of mutual respect and understanding. Being away from the kids for a longer period can be exceedingly difficult for all and that can lead to some harder emotions surfacing. When you communicate with mutual respect, it allows both co-parents to express their concerns without feeling judged by them.

Communication during the holidays should continue every day, even if you send a quick photo or a quick note to tell them everything is going great. This will help reduce the stress and everyone will feel better about those holidays.

Co-parenting during the holidays does not need to be difficult. It just takes planning, communication and negotiating with your co-parent to create the best holiday for your kids. Once you do all the planning and legwork to get to the holidays by following these tips, you should be able to simply sit back…well…sit back as much as a busy parent can… and enjoy the holiday.

Sharing Parenting Responsibilities: A Guide for Australian Co-Parents

sharing parenting responsabilities

Parenting has a lot of responsibilities. In fact, many co-parents will comment on just how many are involved when they sit down and list out the shared responsibilities. It isn’t that they weren’t always there…they were… but a lot of parenting is hidden work—things that you do without even realizing that you are doing it as

So it is no surprise that many parents who are now experiencing co-parenting end up struggling with how to share those parenting responsibilities. Thankfully, we are here to guide you through with some important tips.

Shared Parenting Responsibilities in Australia

Before we launch into the tips, it is really important to understand how parenting responsibility works in Australia. First, parenting responsibilities means all of the duties, powers and authority that you have regarding your children. You are responsible to provide for the best needs of your children and you have the right to make decisions for your child.

Second, parents have the right to make decisions about their child independently from the other parent. What that means is that a major decision doesn’t need to be run past the other parent before it is made.

Third, for parents to have equal shared responsibilities, they need to request a court order (or make one) so that both parents are needed to make major decisions for the children.

Now that we know the parameters of parenting responsibilities in Australia, let’s look at how to share those parenting responsibilities that you have.

Tip Number One: Figure out the Expenses

The first thing that you should do when sharing parenting responsibilities is to figure out expenses. Child support payments often cover the living expenses but none of the extras. Things like school uniforms, school supplies, emergency payments for dental, etc. are not usually factored into the child support payments.

That means that parents have to agree to what they are paying out in addition to child support and how those extra expenses are going to be shared. This is really important as it can often be one of the biggest conflict topics between co-parents. Our advice is to use a co-parenting app that tracks expense spending so everyone knows what their share is and you don’t have to argue about it later.

Tip Number Two: Be Realistic

Parenting can be emotional and co-parenting can add all new layers to how you are feeling as a parent. That is why it is so easy to step into the sandbox and start arguing with your co-parent over decisions and other matters. The best tip that I can give you on this is to be realistic and put those emotions aside.

If you need to, take a step back and compose yourself and work through your emotions first. If you approach your co-parent upset, it can lead to a possible conflict, which is something you do not want to have happen.

With decisions, think about what you want to give your children realistically, what you can compromise on and what you won’t. Then discuss these things either in person or through email or a mediation app. When you take the emotion out of shared parenting responsibilities, you can move forward much easier.

Tip Number Three: Agree to Rules and Routines

Routines change as your kids grow up and they will also change as a co-parent; however, one of the best ways to share parenting responsibilities is to sit down and work out what the kids’ rules and routines will be.

Once you have them worked out, both parents need to follow them. If there are going to be any changes to those routines or rules, both parents need to sit down and agree to them. Don’t change a rule or routine without discussing it with your co-parent first. By doing this, you are showing that you are in a partnership and while it may not be the same partnership you had when you were together, it can be just as nurturing for your kids and filled with respect for each other as before.

Tip Number Four: Divide the Harder Responsibilities

Even if you aren’t with your kids, there can be some responsibilities that you take over completely for the other parent so things aren’t 100% on their shoulders or yours. Things like deciding who will do all the doctor appointments, who will do dental appointments and so on can be split up. You can also work out shuttling to and from events, especially if an activity or event falls on your visitation days.

When you share the busy work, it helps both parents feel like they are involved in their children’s lives, even when they aren’t with them all the time.

Tip Number Five: Share, Share and Share

Finally, share information with your co-parent. Let them know what is happening with the kids, with schedules and if you are doing the doctor’s appointments, with their doctors.

In addition to that, share when you are overwhelmed and need some help with your responsibilities. It is better to ask for help than to allow things to become overwhelming. We all have periods when work is putting more responsibilities on us or there might be life things happening where you need to shift some of the parenting responsibilities. And be open to being that emergency resource for your co-parent. The more you are able to share, the more connected your extended family will feel in this co-parenting dynamic.

By following these tips, you can be sure to provide your kids with the absolute best care they need all while sharing the parenting responsibilities with your co-parent. This will only have continued benefits for you, your kids and everyone involved with your family from stepparents to grandparents and beyond.

Strategies for Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Ex-Partner

High-conflict ex-partner

Co-parenting can be difficult even in the best of circumstances but when you have a high-conflict ex-partner, co-parenting can be almost impossible. In this article, we will offer some amazing tips that will help you co-parent with a high-conflict ex-partner so that your kids can have their needs met, even if their parents are not getting along.

Put Yourself First

One thing that I want to start with is that you really need to focus on you. When you are dealing with a high conflict ex-partner, it is extremely easy to forget about yourself and making sure that your well-being is taken care of. Don’t put yourself in situations where you are trying to make him or her feel better all the time. And don’t feel that you have to engage with every single conflict that arises between you.

Remember to take time to destress after you’ve had to interact with your high conflict ex-partner by doing things that you love. Some suggestions are:

  • Go for a walk to clear your mind.
  • Talk to a therapist.
  • Eat a healthy diet
  • Exercise daily: try yoga for meditation.
  • Make sure you sleep every day

When you are taking care of your needs, you are more able to deal with those unavoidable high conflict interactions with your ex-partner.

Use a Mediation App

One of the best things that you can do when you are dealing with a high conflict ex-partner is to use some type of mediation service or a mediation app. One of my favorite is 2houses because they enable co-parents to do everything through the app instead of having to have face to fact meetings where the majority of the conflict occurs.

With 2houses, parents can plan the calendar, send notes, store documents and even follow an expense sheet. All of these features allows parents to reduce the amount of tension between them and since kids can also access the app, it helps keep all parents focused on neutral interactions whenever interacting on the app.

Set Boundaries with your Ex-Partner

Another useful strategy is to set boundaries with your ex-partner. You don’t need to know everything that is going on in his life and he doesn’t need to know everything that is going on in yours. Instead, focus on the kids and center all of your conversations on them and what is happening in their lives. The only time you mention your life is when it directly impacts the kids or visitation.

When you set boundaries, also make sure that you have boundaries on when your ex-partner can contact you. If you need to talk directly, set appointments. Make it a rule that you never have serious discussions at handoffs and never in front of the kids. Think of them as appointments even if it is through email or by phone. Let them know that you will only respond to emails during set hours and stick with that. Unless it is an emergency, ignore their phone calls, texts and emails if it is outside of those set times.

Choose Neutral Spaces

Whenever you have to meet with your ex, whether it is for mediation meetings, picking up your kids, etc., choose to do so in neutral spaces. Hand off at restaurants or places where you feel safe. If you and your ex have an extremely volatile relationship, bring a person who you can trust, or discuss having supervised or third party handoffs.

Do not invite your ex-partner to your home for these handoffs as it can be quite easy to fall into conflicts with your ex-partner when you are alone and somewhere private, even when the kids are there.

Have a Script

Conversations with your ex-partner can follow a script. You talk about the kids, what is happening with them and not about yourself. Any time the conversation turns toward something about you, or a high conflict topic, go back to that script and steer it back to the kids. Don’t flat out refuse to talk, but let them know that now isn’t the time and let’s set an appointment.

If the script isn’t working, leave the situation so it doesn’t become unsafe.

Use Parallel Parenting

If all else fails, one thing that you can try is to use parallel parenting. This is when you are both with the kids according to your arrangement but you do not interact together. Hand offs of the kids are done with a third party or a family member. All communication is done through emails or through a mediation app, as mentioned above, and you keep journals to focus on the kids alone.

With parallel parenting, you do many of the things that you would as a co-parent; however, you do them separately. For instance, any appointments or events that you would normally do together, you set up a second appointment or you alternate. One appointment you go, the other appointment your ex-partner.

Another way that you do parallel parenting is that you divide the decision making. Instead of both parents signing off on every decision, often common in co-parenting, one parent makes all the decisions in one area of the kids’ lives and the other parent makes all the decision in others. For instance, one parent makes the decision on house rules, the other makes decisions on school trips.

While you are still co-parenting, because you are minimizing contact, you are less likely to have high conflict experiences with your ex-partner. This helps keep everything focused on the kids and you can find ways to communicate without the stress that often comes with having a high conflict ex-partner.

As you can see, there are many different strategies that you can use to deal with a high conflict ex-partner in your co-parenting plan. However, that being said, it comes down to minimizing contact, making use of mediation and, above everything, taking care of your emotional well-being so that you have the energy to deal with the high conflict ex-partner. If you do all of those things, you have this and you and your kids will be all the better for it.

5 Perfect Tips for Successful at Co-Parenting

Successful at Co-Parenting

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. There is a tension between parents who are divorcing and this can lead to a lot of negative emotions such as anger, sadness and frustration that makes co-parenting a difficult step for all parties involved. While it can be a challenge to overcome the emotions around divorce, it is not something that needs to be insurmountable. Parents want the best for their children and taking the steps to co-parenting is one way to provide their children with a healthy home life even when that home is split between two homes.

But how can parents take those steps toward successfully co-parenting in healthy ways after a separation and divorce?

While the answers will involve some work, 2houses has explored many of the diverse ways that parents can co-parent successfully in these five tips.

Successfully Co-Parenting Tip Number One: Language Builds and Shapes New Relationships

One of the first tips that is always recommended with co-parenting is to build up and build on your language. It can be very easy to fall into habits that grew when the marriage was breaking down and tensions were high, which include not using the right language or communicating in positive ways.

With successful co-parenting, it is important to use language to shape the new relationship with your ex partner—and that is important to really emphasise, you will be building a new relationship dynamic with them. This means that you should these easy to follow tips:

  1. Stay positive in front of the kids. Harder conversations can be done through an app or when the kids are not present.
  2. Use “I” statements. There will be times when frustrations boil over and using “I” statements help reduce tension and blame.
  3. Prepare your language. This means that if you have important things to discuss, you have notes prepared so you can stay focused on the topic at hand.

By reshaping how you use language, you can build a healthier co-parenting relationship after divorce or separation.

Successfully Co-Parenting Tip Number Two: Updating Keeps Things Running Smoothly

Another crucial step in being successful with co-parenting is all about the updates. If you update your ex partner, you can keep things running smoothly. This means letting them know about important events for the kids, when you can or can’t take the kids, especially when it is on your days, and when things change for you that could directly affect the kids.

The more you update, the better the communication will be and the fewer tensions you and your ex partner will have. 2houses is an excellent app that makes updating easy and you won’t have to worry about forgetting to update or the kids not relaying messages for you. In fact, when you are looking toward successful co-parenting, you should never rely on kids to keep your ex partner updated to keep their stress at a minimum.

Successfully Co-Parenting Tip Number Three: Set Boundaries

Remember that new relationship you are creating, it means that you are going to have to set new dynamics and that includes boundaries. These boundaries will include both with your kids and with your ex partner. Decide together on what dynamics you want to maintain in your relationship. Will all dealings be just about the kids or will you allow for growth as individuals, even friends?

If you aren’t in a place where you can maintain a friendship, don’t push for that relationship. There is a lot of work that needs to be done before you can get there.

Other boundaries that you need to set up is holidays and events where both parents would normally attend. Figure out if birthdays will be together or if you’ll do separate parties for your child. If you can’t do event together, set boundaries and schedules on which parent goes to which event. This may lighten over time but during the start of co-parenting, you may have to really keep lives separate from each other.

But these lives shouldn’t be separate with your kids. Make sure that you are setting shared boundaries with your kids. This includes having the same balance, schedule and rules for both homes.

Clear boundaries will help establish the relationship and will let your kids feel confident that they will have predictable routines regardless of whose house they are at.   

Successfully Co-Parenting Tip Number Four: Respect the Other Parent’s Time

This can be done through a number of ways and it is often a cornerstone tip toward successful co-parenting. What this means is that when the child is with the other parent, you respect their time. Don’t cut into the time, don’t message your child when they are having quality time with their other parent. For your children’s happiness, it is important for them to connect with the other parent, especially if they do not see them as frequently as they see you.

In addition to respecting the time your kids are spending with your ex partner, respect their time on a regular basis. Make handoffs quick so you aren’t cutting into their personal time, or their time with the kids. Schedule out weekly check ins where you can discuss any concerns and keep to those schedules. This has several benefits including staying up to date on things the kids need, getting through problems you and your ex partner face, and planning any special events, such as vacations, in advance.

By respecting each other’s time, you can avoid many of the pitfalls that occur when a parent’s time feels infringed upon—and your children will thrive when they can enjoy their time with their other parent completely.

Successfully Co-Parenting Tip Number Five: Choose a Co-Parenting Coach

Okay, there are plenty of agencies out there offering co-parenting coaching but coaching doesn’t have to be with another person. An excellent app, such as 2houses can give you everything a coach will give you plus more. Using an app can make co-parenting not only successful but easy and can be an excellent way to communicate even when tensions are high. There are many reasons to use 2houses but as a tool to facilitate success in co-parenting is one of the biggest.

As you know, co-parenting isn’t easy but if you start with these simple tips, along with using an effective program like 2houses, you can create a foundation for a better relationship with your ex. And with that relationship, you will find your children will be healthier and happier with many other benefits for their overall wellbeing. After all, isn’t that the end goal for you, your ex partner and your co-parenting goals.

How to navigate custody arrangements as a divorced/separated parent in the USA

Custody arrangements

The presence of children during a divorce or separation can make the experience emotionally challenging and complicated. Effective communication, careful consideration and prioritizing your children’s best interests are key when navigating custody arrangements as a divorced or separated parent in the USA. Navigating your journey gracefully can be done by following the practical tips provided along with valuable insights and expert advice in this article. We’ll take care of your children’s welfare as well.

Understanding the Legal Landscape:

To navigate custody arrangements successfully, it’s essential to understand the legal landscape clearly. Acquaint yourself with the family laws and regulations specific to your state. Gain knowledge about your rights, responsibilities, and available custody choices by consulting with a family law attorney. Gaining knowledge about the legal aspects can help in making informed decisions with regard to protecting your kids’ welfare.

Putting Your Children First:

During this challenging period, putting your children’s well-being first is crucial. Bear in mind, they are what really matters. Prioritize their well-being when making any decisions. Ensure that they feel heard and supported by encouraging open and honest communication. Craft custody arrangements while considering their age, emotional needs and preferences. Focusing on the happiness and stability of your children can help create a strong basis for their future

Effective Communication:

Navigating custody arrangements successfully depends on effective communication. Encourage a supportive and dignified co-parenting rapport with your past spouse or partner. Openness in the discussion of important issues concerning your children is essential; keep lines of communication prompt yet constructive. Communication effectiveness can be guaranteed by utilizing multiple channels like face-to-face meetings, phone calls or email. By selecting your words carefully, avoiding confrontation is possible while maintaining a neutral tone. Successful co-parenting is set up by effective communication, remember that.

Crafting a Co-Parenting Plan:

A well-crafted co-parenting plan is crucial for smooth custody arrangements. Collaborate with your former spouse or partner to develop a comprehensive plan that outlines parenting schedules, decision-making processes, and guidelines for resolving conflicts. Flexibility is essential, as it allows room for adjustments based on your children’s changing needs. Ensure that the plan is realistic, reasonable, and promotes the children’s best interests. Seek the guidance of a family mediator if needed to facilitate constructive discussions and find common ground.

Promoting Consistency and Stability:

To navigate the complexities of divorce or separation, consistency and stability are key for children. Make an effort to maintain consistent routines and rules between households whenever possible. This ensures that children feel secure and experience a smoother transition between homes. Allow children to stay connected with both parents and their respective support systems by coordinating schedules effectively. To maintain stability, create a supportive environment and a feeling of belonging in both households.

Co-Parenting with Respect and Empathy:

Successful co-parenting requires a foundation of respect and empathy. Treat your former spouse or partner with respect, even if your relationship ended on difficult terms. Remember that your children are watching and learning from your behavior. Practice empathy by considering their perspective and emotions. Put yourself in their shoes and strive for understanding. By fostering a respectful and empathetic co-parenting dynamic, you create a healthier and more stable environment for your children.

Encouraging Open Communication with Children:

Maintaining transparency in communication with your children during custody arrangements is extremely important. Construct a sheltered zone for them to communicate their viewpoints, moods, and uncertainties. Uphold open communication, attentive hearing, and recognize their emotional state. While ensuring attentiveness and responsiveness, offer reassurance and support to meet their needs. It is normal for children to have a range of emotions during a situation like this. Be prepared. You can help guide them through these hardships with less difficulty simply by being present for support.

Seeking Professional Support:

Dealing with custody arrangements can take an emotional toll, and seeking support from a professional could prove very beneficial. Consider getting assistance from a family therapist or counselor specializing in divorce or separation. Assisting with guidance, encouraging effective communication, and supporting both you as well as your children during this time are among their specialties. Also, support groups or online communities may offer a sense of membership. They furnish a location for sharing experiences with those who are undergoing parallel situations.

Building a Strong Support Network:

The creation of a strong support network is critical to the well-being of divorced or separated parents. Wrap yourself in the warmth of family members, close friends or supportive communities who have the capacity to offer you emotional bolstering , pragmatic assistance and perception. When requiring someone to vent to and get advice from or wanting a break from the difficulties of co-parenting lean on them. Recall that there’s no requirement for you to navigate this journey alone. A dependable support network can have an enormous impact on your effectiveness as a parent.

Adapting to changes requires embracing flexibility.

Being adaptable and embracing flexibility are essential components of successfully navigating custody arrangements as a divorced or separated parent.. While having a well-crafted co-parenting plan is important, it’s equally vital to recognize that life is dynamic, and adjustments may be necessary along the way. Modifying custody agreements as the needs of children evolve is essential. Stay alert to your child’s developmental markers, educational prerequisites, extracurricular interests, and shifting timetables. Ensure that the custody arrangements remain aligned with your children’s best interests by engaging in ongoing conversations with your co-parent.

Unexpected situations and unforeseen events are also covered by flexibility. In life, curveballs like changes in your job, relocation or health issues can be thrown at you. Open and honest communication becomes even more crucial during such times. It’s important to be willing to negotiate and find creative solutions that accommodate changes while also preserving stability and ensuring the welfare of your children by maintaining a cooperative mindset.

Creating a positive co-parenting environment requires embracing flexibility and adapting to changing circumstances, which demonstrates resilience and commitment. A healthier relationship between you and your co-parent is fostered by having this flexibility, which benefits not only your children. Remind yourself that overseeing custody agreements is a voyage that mandates ongoing tweaking. Greater ease and cooperation are possible when you embrace flexibility and navigate the twists and turns.

Conclusion:

Successfully navigating custody arrangements as a divorced or separated parent in the USA requires having both legal knowledge and effective communication abilities. The safety and happiness of your children should always come first. Your children’s needs must remain a priority despite the difficulties. By placing your children first, fostering respectful co-parenting practices, and seeking assistance in both personal and professional aspects. One can achieve the creation of a nurturing space that promotes stability and growth. When navigating custody arrangements, maintaining a focus on your children’s happiness through a loving and understanding approach can lead to graceful outcomes. Irrespective of any potential fluctuations throughout this journey. By putting in effort, your family’s future can be brighter.

Dating after divorce/separation in the USA tips and advice for parents

Dating after divorce

The dating scene can seem like a difficult road to navigate. But the stakes are significantly higher if you’re a separated or divorced parent. You take your children’s sentiments and wellbeing into account in addition to your own feelings. Fortunately, you may confidently reenter the dating world with a little planning and persistence. Here are some helpful pointers for American parents looking to date after separation or divorce.

1. Ensure You’re Ready

Make sure you’re emotionally prepared to date before you take the plunge. It’s normal to desire company and a loving relationship, but it’s important to get over your ex-partner first. Make sure to give yourself enough time to mourn the demise of your marriage and to come to terms with what went wrong. This self-awareness can direct you towards happier relationships in the future and prevent you from making the same mistakes you have in the past.

2. Balance Your Time

It can be difficult to juggle your kids’ needs, your own obligations, and your new dating life. Keep in mind that you don’t have to decide between dating and having children. Instead, consider how you may include these aspects of your life. Plan times when your children are with your ex-partner or make arrangements for a dependable babysitter when you have to go for a date.

3. Be Open with Your Kids

For children, the concept of their parents dating can be confusing and unpleasant. Being honest with them and assuring them of your priority for them are crucial. Before introducing a new partner to your children, wait until a relationship gets serious.

4. Protect Your Privacy

Privacy protection is essential when dating, especially online. Keep your personal information to yourself, especially if it involves your children. Keep in mind that your family’s safety and privacy are of the utmost importance, and 2houses gives them equal priority.

5. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Keep your dating life and your children separated by reasonable boundaries. This entails refraining from presenting your kids to each dater and avoiding using them as a comfort or buffer when out on dates. Take your time and don’t jump into new relationships quickly. Before bringing someone into your family, take your time to get to know them thoroughly.

6. Consider Using Online Dating Platforms

To break into the world of dating, online dating sites is a great starting point. They provide a platform for you to interact with plenty of potential mates, which can improve your chances of meeting someone you click with.

7. Stay Organized

Staying organised can be difficult while also being crucial when managing your schedule and that of your children. You can stay on top of shared custody agreements and make sure your dating life doesn’t conflict with your parenting duties by using tools like the 2houses interactive calendar.

8. Be Honest About Your Situation

It’s completely fine to be open about and honest about your situation. You being a parent will surely affect your availability and priorities. Setting objectives will help prevent misunderstandings later on and it’ll be easier if you are forward about your parental status.

9. Don’t Neglect Self-Care

Don’t neglect your own needs when juggling your dating and parenting obligations. Maintaining your mental and emotional health regularly can improve both your happiness and your ability to be a good parent. This could be engaging in a pastime, engaging in physical activity, or just unwinding with a good book.

10. Seek Support

In this new era of your life, don’t be afraid to ask for help. These recommendations may come from close friends, relatives, or licenced therapists. In addition to offering emotional support and useful advice, support groups for single parents can also be helpful..

11. Be Patient

Finding the right person takes time and you don’t want to jump in and out of relationships at will. The process takes time and you’ll do well not to feel pressured. The whole point of dating again is to find the right person, and you will… If only you can be patient enough.  

12. Remember, You’re More Than Just a Parent

You are not just a parent, you are an individual too, and that counts. You are human and as such, have needs, desires, emotions, and feelings, outside your role as a parent. So, while being a parent is a crucial part of your identity, it’s okay—and important—to pursue those personal aspects of your life.

13. Take It Slow

Slow and steady wins the race- in this case, relationship, especially if there are kids involved. Rushing into a relationship without giving the other person the time to get to know your kids might not be good for the relationship. Let the relationship grow gradually, and make sure that everyone is at ease and prepared for the next step..

14. Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

You don’t have to kiss many frogs before your Prince Charming comes calling.  So, instead of going on numerous dates just because you can do it, focus on connecting with peeps who align with your values and long-term goals. Engage in meaningful conversations and get to know the other person and decide if they are worth your time and date.  

15. Set Boundaries for Intimacy

When it comes to introducing new partners to your children, it’s crucial to establish boundaries regarding intimacy. Protecting your children’s emotional well-being means being mindful of how relationships are presented to them. Ensure that any displays of affection are appropriate for their age and comfort level.

Conclusion 

It might be challenging to date after a divorce. You can, however, successfully traverse this new chapter of your life provided you are patient, truthful, and are dedicated to juggling your obligations. Remember, achieving the ideal balance is important for you and your family; what works for one parent may not work for the other. The secret is to pursue new love while remaining true to yourself, keeping lines of communication open with your children, and giving priority to your family’s needs. 

That said, always remember that 2houses is always here to assist you sail through “new” waters. We work to support you every step of the journey, from our interactive calendar to help manage shared custody arrangements to our dedication to your privacy.

Tips for Creating a Successful Co-Parenting Plan in the UK

Creating a Successful Co-Parenting Plan in the UK

Successful co-parenting always starts with a plan. I’m sure you know that and have been faced with the lows that can often come when there isn’t any plan. Thankfully, we are here to help you overcome those lows and create a solid co-parenting plan in the UK so you and your ex-partner can be successful as co-parents.

So where do we begin? The answer is simple with these tips that will help you be successful.

Tip Number One: Know your Resources.

Sometimes, when we are in the weeds, we can’t see the many resources out there. Co-parenting can be like that. You feel alone and you aren’t sure where to start or even who to turn to. It can be a bit overwhelming but there are a lot of resources out there.

First, get a mediation app, such as 2houses, that will help you create and manage your co-parenting planthe management part is the biggest benefit of the app.

Second, utilize some of the resources in your area. One place that is strongly recommended to go and check out in the UK is the CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service). This site is excellent in helping co-parents and they have co-parenting plans that you can follow to create your own.

Tip Number Two: Plan with the Kids Best Interest In Mind

In the UK, the courts always look at what is in the best interest for each individual child…not for sibling groups or for the family as a whole. This means that parenting plans may shift slightly when you are creating one so that it reflects the individual needs of each of your kids. For that reason, it is recommended that when you are creating a successful co-parenting plan, that you think of the best interests for each of your children.

One of the best ways to learn what those interests are is to talk to your kids as both a group and on one to one. Older kids may need a different custody schedule than the younger kids or you may want to have days where kids can have some one on one time. By putting the kids’ best interests in mind, you’ll find more success as co-parents because your focus is on the kids and not any tension from the separation.

Tip Number Three: Focus on Effective Communication

Communication is key to having a successful co-parenting plan. The better you communicate, the more you will find things go smoothly. Choose a co-parenting app to help you with this. 2houses has journals, calendars and many other ways to communicate that will be effective and proactive.

Aside from the app, have rules put in place with communication. Some rules to follow are:

  1. Don’t use the kids as messengers.
  2. Use email or texts if you struggle with face to face conversations, especially if they often become arguments.
  3. During those moments of high tension, or conflict, never respond immediately. Instead, take the time to calm down so you are less likely to say something that will cause an argument.
  4. Find some positives to share with your ex-partner and put those in the journal or photo album so conversations are not always around things the kids need or the logistics of co-parenting.

By having effective communication, you can avoid a lot of the pitfalls that can happen with co-parenting conflicts.

Tip Number Four: Be Generous to your Ex-Partner

Okay, when we say be generous, we are talking about little things and little acts of kindness that are learning experiences for your kids. Mother’s day and Father’s day can be a great example of this, especially when your kids are young. Take them out and help them pick out a gift or card (or help them make something). Encourage those moments and it will show your kids that you can still treat people well, even if you are no longer in love with them.

Another way that you can be generous is with time. If work keeps one parent from a visitation time, you can switch days, or give a little extra time before pick up on their next visit. If the custody schedule means the kids are missing the other parent’s birthday or an important family event for their side of the family, suggest ways where the kids can attend. This will help make your co-parenting plan successful and will also show the kids that their happiness is important enough to make changes for them.

Tip Number Five: Plan Ahead and Review

Finally, always plan ahead when it comes to big events, vacation time, holidays and so on. Both parents want to see their kids on holidays but it isn’t always possible so it’s important to plan well beforehand to make sure that you can create a plan for successful co-parenting. This might be alternating holidays or doing joint activities, such as birthday parties where both parents attend, and it could be something completely different.

You want to make sure that whatever you decide, you know well ahead of time so that you can let your kids know what is going on and it won’t be a shock to them. In addition, planning well in advance will ensure less stress and less last minute rushes to get things together.

One final point about planning ahead for these events, you want to try to keep the kids’ routine as normal as possible with special events and holidays. Kids thrive with routines and during separation and divorce, routine is even more important. Routines will not only help your children emotionally cope with the separation but will also teach them to be independent.

Co-parenting plans can be a success when you consider the kids, use the resources and tools available to you and take the time to communicate in respectful and effective ways. When co-parenting comes from the place of wanting what’s best for your kids, there is no way that it can’t be successful.

Co-parenting strategies for divorced/separated parents in the USA

Coparenting strategies

Divorces or separations that include children may result in a particularly challenging and emotionally charged process. Co-parenting is an essential factor to consider for ensuring your children’s well-being and happiness as a divorced or separated parent in the USA. When parents that are no longer romantically linked come together for cooperative parenting, they can successfully bring up their kids. This article explores creative and effective strategies for co-parenting with the aim of assisting divorced or separated parents in navigating its complexities.

1. Prioritize the Well-being of Your Children:

Co-parenting entails making sure that your children’s needs come first. When it comes to divorce or separation, it’s essential to recognize its potential effects on their emotional and psychological health. Approaching the situation requires essential sensitivity and awareness of their needs. 

Allot some time to actively listen and comprehend how your kids feel. Guarantee that they have a protected space to share their opinions and apprehensions without holding back. After validating their feelings, make sure to assure both parents prioritize the well-being of their children. Demonstrating dedication and unity towards their happiness establishes the basis for fruitful co-parenting.

2. Maintain Open and Healthy Communication:

Successful co-parenting depends on effective communication. To navigate the challenges of raising children across two households, one must strive for open and respectful communication with their ex-partner as it is essential. Setting aside personal differences and concentrating only on the welfare of your children is what this means.

Establish a cooperative and effective means of communication that works for both of you. Whether it’s through regular emails, phone calls, or utilizing co-parenting apps, find a method that allows you to stay connected and informed about your children’s lives. Remember to approach all communication with respect and kindness, keeping the conversation centered around parenting-related matters.

Communication should not be limited to logistics and practicalities alone. Take the time to share important updates about your children’s achievements, milestones, and challenges. Engage in meaningful conversations about their well-being, education, hobbies, and friendships. By maintaining a healthy line of communication, you demonstrate to your children the importance of collaboration and cooperation.

3. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan:

A vital aspect of providing consistent structure for your children involves creating a thorough co-parenting plan. This plan acts as a way to navigate custody arrangements, holiday schedules, and processes for making decisions.

Cooperate with your ex-spouse to develop a scheme that mirrors the individual needs and situations of your household. This process requires one to be flexible and open towards compromising. Consider the age and developmental stage of your children along with their academic obligations, after-school programs or hobbies they pursue outside of class.

Develop clear parameters for custody and visitation, describing the schedule and logistics. Specify the method for determining crucial decisions about your kids’ education, healthcare, and upbringing with clarity. 

4. Be Flexible and Accommodating:

Co-parenting entails being flexible so that you can make necessary adjustments as circumstances change. Be aware that unexpected situations might arise, and you might have to demonstrate openness and empathy. Being flexible can greatly benefit co-parenting and help navigate last-minute schedule changes, rescheduled events, and unforeseen circumstances.

To make prompt adjustments, keep the lines of communication open with your ex-partner. Maintain a collaborative attitude when confronting these scenarios and prioritize finding solutions that are optimal for everyone involved, especially your children. Through modeling flexibility, you can impart valuable life skills such as adaptability and problem-solving to your children.

5. Respect Boundaries and Privacy:

Co-parenting requires fundamental respect for each other’s boundaries and privacy. Clear limitations are vital despite spending a significant portion of your lives together. Respecting each other’s private life is also crucial to consider.

Do not attempt to snoop around in your ex-partner’s personal matters or collect unnecessary information about what they are doing after the divorce. Expect the same in return and respect their right to privacy. Center your talks and social dealings on matters that pertain directly to co-parenting and the health of your offspring.

6. Encourage Consistency and Stability:

Children need consistency and stability during and after a divorce or separation for their emotional well-being. Endeavor to create analogous schedules, guidelines, and expectations across both residences whenever feasible. The sense of predictability and security that comes with this consistency is what your children need during their transitions between homes.

Engage in a conversation and reach an understanding on essential elements like ways of dealing with misconducts or misbehaviors night time customs or habits, eating time tables or schedules,and what is expected regarding schoolwork tasks. Your children’s environment can be made more harmonious by maintaining consistency in these areas and minimizing confusion.

7. Foster a Positive Co-Parenting Relationship:

Despite its challenges, building a positive co-parenting relationship can be immensely advantageous for both yourself and your offspring. Building mutual respect, support and effective communication is essential for maintaining an amicable co-parenting relationship.

Come together as one to celebrate the achievements of your children. Attend all-important occasions with unity in mind while continuously encouraging positivity amongst the entire family. Highlight the significance of upholding a wholesome bond with their other parent, despite the occasional challenges.

8. Seek Professional Support if Needed:

Co-parenting may sometimes become overwhelming when navigating through challenges. In the presence of persistent conflicts or ineffective communication, seeking professional support should not be postponed. To promote constructive dialogue between parents for effective co-parenting dynamics, experts such as therapists, counselors or mediators can offer valuable assistance.

A professional aid provides a secure and neutral place for both parents to articulate their worries and scrutinize the root causes. To advance their co-parenting bond, they can create strategies. Providing insights and tools, professionals who help create a healthy, cooperative environment may ultimately improve your children’s welfare.

Remember that seeking professional help does not indicate weakness. The demonstration of initiative is in achieving the best possible co-parenting outcome for everyone involved instead.

9. Take Care of Yourself:

Prioritizing self-care is crucial for divorced or separated parents amidst co-parenting demands. Ensuring personal physical health as well as mental and emotional wellness is essential for managing life’s obstacles successfully.

Involve in activities that bring joy to your life and provide a sense of proportionate balance. Allocate some time to hobbies, exercising, unwinding, or pursuing personal interests. Looking for support from friends, loved ones or support groups that can give empathy, comprehension and guidance is a way to nurture your emotional health.

Conclusion:

Co-parenting is possible as divorced or separated parents in the USA through commitment to understanding each other’s needs alongside implementing effective strategies. With these approaches taken seriously, this journey will likely prove successful for all involved. It’s worth putting in effort and patience for a healthy co-parenting relationship and its benefits. Ensure your children’s wellness is top priority, have open communication, and create a dependable co-parenting plan. Nurture a favorable co-parenting connection, consider seeking expert help if required, and don’t forget to prioritize self-care throughout the journey. A harmonious co-parenting dynamic can be created by implementing these strategies and ensuring the best possible future for your children.