The impact of divorce/separation on your mental health as a parent in the USA

Mental health as a parent

Divorce or separation may be a turbulent process, full of conflicting feelings and life-altering choices. Your mental health may suffer as a result, especially if you’re a parent in the USA.  We hope to shed some light on some of the emotional struggles that parents frequently experience after divorce or separation. We’ll also look at methods for promoting resilience and mental health during this trying period.

Decoding the Emotional Aftershocks of Divorce and Separation

  1. The Mourning Process.

    Mourning is essential… You need it to heal. Separation or divorce naturally entails letting go of a marriage and a shared family life, creating a void often filled with pain. During this stage, it’s absolutely normal and appropriate to mourn, regardless of whether the separation was mutual or not. Giving oneself the go-ahead to experience these feelings and navigating them with the help of a network of supportive others, such as close friends, family members, or a therapist, is essential.
  2. The Unsettling Unknown

    The future could seem uncertain and unsettling after the split up with your spouse or partner. During this time, you’d certainly experience anxiety and worries about your capacity to make ends meet, your parenting style, and the welfare of your kids. It’s crucial to keep in mind that it’s normal to feel anxious amid such life transitions. To learn how to manage these fears, seek out expert assistance or join support groups.
  3. Reconstructing Self-Worth and Identity

    Divorce or separation might leave you struggling with a sense of lost identity or cause you to question your self-worth. Always keep in mind that you are more valuable as an individual than you are as a husband or partner. Look for opportunities to develop your self-confidence and discover new dimensions of your individuality.
  4. The Intricacies of Co-Parenting

    Your mental health will be impacted by the particular stresses that come with co-parenting after a divorce or separation. You’d occasionally struggle or quarrel with the other person due to the discrepancies in parenting styles, communication problems, or choices impacting your child. By establishing open lines of communication and healthy boundaries through mediation or co-parenting support, you can lessen any negative consequences on your mental health.
  5. Feeling Alone and Detached

    In the case when your support network is weak, loneliness and isolation might become apparent following a divorce or separation. Through support groups, local gatherings, or internet resources, you’ll learn about other relationships with other divorcing or separated parents. They can act as a safety net, reducing feelings of loneliness, and you’ll be thankful for their shared experiences and fresh connections..

Boosting Your Mental Health

Undoubtedly, divorce and separation are among the most difficult situations a person can go through, leaving people emotionally spent and overburdened. It’s crucial to keep in mind that even though the adventjtr ahead may appear overwhelming, you have the fortitude and courage to go through this trying time. You can not only survive but also thrive throughout this transformational stage of your life by following a few simple steps and giving your mental health the attention it deserves.

  1. Tap into Professional Aid

    Working with a therapist or counsellor can provide a safe place for you to explore your emotions, gain perspective, and develop coping skills. These experts can help you navigate the complexities of divorce and separation while providing techniques for coping with emotional difficulties including stress and worry.
  2. Create a Pillar of Support

    Build a reliable network of friends, family, and fellow divorced or separated parents. This empathetic circle can provide emotional support and practical help, greatly influencing your overall well-being.
  3. Self-Care is Key

    Adopt self-care practices to ensure your mental health doesn’t take a backseat. Find solace in activities that bring joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation. This could include regular exercise, mindfulness practices, pursuing hobbies, or merely carving out ‘me’ time.
  4. Draw Your Boundaries

    Your ex is your ex – you shouldn’t forget that. Ensure to state and enforce clear boundaries with your ex-spouse as well as with other people. This way,  your co-parenting stress can reduce, and furthermore tow a path with less hassles. What these  boundaries do, is to act as a shield for your mental health, giving your the chance to set priorities straight, thereby allowing you enough space and time to self-care and minimize sources of conflict.
  5. Communicate Effectively

    The emphasis on effective communication during co-parenting situations can not be underemphasized. In fact, the success of your co-parenting arrangement and the children’s well-being depends massively on how open respectful and productive your communication is.  With this, you’ll easily disagreements, misunderstanding and many form of emotional distress if you are open enough to communicate with your children about their wants, needs, and preferences. 

    Active listening, empathy, and a willingness to compromise are just a few of the abilities needed for effective communication. When both coparents have a safe and accepting environment in which to express their thoughts and feelings, trust and cooperation can grow. You may give your children a safe and loving environment by establishing consistent rules and boundaries with clear and straightforward communication.   Important considerations include your children’s education, health, and upbringing.
  6. Embrace Personal Growth

    View divorce or separation as a period for introspection and growth. Take a moment to understand what you’ve learned from your previous relationship and how you can evolve. Seek self-improvement opportunities like workshops or self-help resources to aid in your journey of healing and self-discovery.
  7. Look Ahead

    It is okay to recognize the emotions you are from your separation or divorce, but you can’t continue to dwell on them. You have to accept reality and make an effort to to be optimistic. Come on… Get up and optimize with your values, establish attainable goals. Maintain a positive outlook to ensure a joyful life with your children. Recognise your ability to take advantage of opportunities and overcome obstacles. Create a support system by assembling allies. Personal growth and fresh opportunity are two benefits of change. Positivity, being present, and future family planning should all be priorities.

Conclusion 

Your ability to get through this challenging chapter is unaffected by the hardship of a divorce or separation, despite the fact that it can surely have an impact on your mental health. Putting your mental health first, seeking support, and creating self-care practises will help you become more resilient and more receptive to the opportunities for growth and healing that lie ahead.

Don’t forget that you’re not by yourself as you travel this path. Utilise the counsellors, support groups, and online discussion forums that are at your disposal. We may better our futures and that of our children by overcoming the emotional effects of divorce or separation together.

The importance of self-care for divorced/separated parents in the USA

self-care for separated parents

Navigating the tumultuous waters of a divorce or separation can be the equivalent of weathering a personal storm, the magnitude of which can seem daunting. Add to this the pressures of adjusting to life as a single parent, and it feels as though you’re carrying an Atlas-like burden. In the USA, these new roles demand a delicate balancing act between addressing personal needs and co-parenting responsibilities, alongside grappling with financial reshuffles and the daunting journey of personal rebuilding.

Now, here’s a gentle reminder: It’s okay, essential even, to prioritize yourself. In the world of aircraft safety, they tell you to secure your oxygen mask before helping others. This principle applies perfectly to life post-divorce. You cannot effectively care for others if you have not taken care of yourself first. This isn’t an act of selfishness, but an acknowledgment that your physical, emotional, and mental health forms the bedrock of your overall wellbeing. It also defines your ability to be the best possible parent for your children.

So, how can we make self-care more than just a buzzword? Let’s explore some practical strategies:

1. Pay Attention to Your Health

It’s understandable that it can be quite tasking to pay attention to your very own health if you have to raise kids all alone. However, understand that taking care of yourself is a necessity, not just a luxury. Ensuring your health can actually better prepare you to face the difficulties associated with co-parenting and parenting..

2. Caring for Your Body

A healthy lifestyle is essential for physical self-care. Getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and exercising frequently are all vital to not only enhance your physical health but also your mood and stress levels. Exercises like dancing, yoga, or even jogging can help you connect with your body and let out tension that has built up..

3. Attending to Your Emotions

Divorce and separation experiences can set off a flurry of emotions, from sorrow and fury to relief and hope. It’s important to acknowledge and process these feelings. Talk to your friends, relatives, or a therapist who can provide you with a private place to vent your emotions. Engage in pursuits that bring you joy, whether they be engaging in hobbies, keeping a journal, or engaging in mindfulness and meditation.

4. Fostering Mental Health

It’s crucial to look after your mental health during this transitional period. Set aside time to read, do puzzles, or learn something new, or do something else mentally challenging. Encourage self-talk that is constructive and work on your self-compassion. If you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems, don’t be afraid to seek professional assistance..

5. Establishing a Supportive Circle

Your wellbeing depends on having a support system. Make connections with other parents who have experienced separation or divorce and can understand your difficulties. Join support groups both offline and online so you may talk about your challenges and gain insight from people who have travelled a similar path. A robust support system can give comfort, direction, and a sense of belonging.

6. Making Time for Yourself

There may not be much time for personal time when juggling parental and co-parenting responsibilities. Finding time for yourself to rest and unwind is nevertheless crucial. It may be as simple as going for a stroll in the park, reading a book, or taking a relaxing bath. Keep in mind that investing in your overall health through self-care is not an indulgence..

7. Setting Limits

Setting boundaries is key to maintaining your self-care routine. Make your needs and limitations clear to your co-parent and family. Boundaries help preserve your time and energy, letting you focus on your well-being. Remember, declining certain requests is not being selfish; it’s a way of prioritizing your self-care.

8. Incorporating Joy and Fun

Rediscovering joy and fun is a vital part of self-care. Participate in activities that bring you joy and help you reconnect with the child within you. Spend quality time with your children, establish new traditions, and cherish moments of laughter and joy. Cultivating happiness not only enhances your well-being but also fosters a positive environment for your children.

**Making Self-Care a Habit**

Now that we understand the significance of self-care for divorced and separated parents, let’s look at practical ways to make self-care a part of your daily routine.

9. Developing a Self-Care Regimen

Create a tailored self-care regimen that caters to your needs and preferences. Identify activities that rejuvenate your body, mind, and soul. Note them down and slot them into your calendar, treating them as non-negotiable commitments to yourself.

10. Being Mindful

Being mindful is a technique that helps you focus on the reality of the present.  With mindfulness, you stand a chance to alleviate stress, and experience unparalleled tranquility. To get that done, simply find a way to incorporate mindfulness into your routine through meditation, exercises, or even as you continually stay on top of your task. 

11. Seeking Professional Assistance

Should you be finding it hard to deal with the emotional and mental challenges of your divorce or separation, it is always a great idea to seek professional help. There are quite a lot of qualified and licensed therapists, counselors, and support groups that specialises on divorce and parenting matters and they are well qualified to offer you the best guidance and support as you embark on this new phase of your life.

12. Pursuing Creative Endeavors

Expressing yourself creatively can be therapeutic and refreshing. Engage in activities such as painting, writing, playing an instrument, or dancing to unleash your creative energy. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and express your emotions through creative expression.

13. Taking Digital Detoxes

In a world where technology and initialization has taken over, it is still however, very important to find a way to occasionally disconnect. Take a break from technology, you’ll be thankful that you did because being constantly connected can increase stress, thereby causing you not to fully engage fully in self-care activities. 

14. Practicing Gratitude

Being grateful is a medicine for happiness. It helps to shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life. So, each day that passes, take a break to reflect on everything that has happened and find a reason to be thankful. This simple act, irrespective of how small, can uploft your mood and give you a very deep sense of satisfaction.  

15. Enjoying Nature

The mind and body can be calmed and revitalised by time spent in nature. The trails, parks, and green areas around you is enough to establish a connection with nature. Immersing yourself in nature can bring comfort and clarity, whether you go on a trek, have a picnic, or just relax under a tree.

16. Being Kind to Yourself

Treat yourself with kindness and gentleness during this journey. Acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can and that it’s okay to make mistakes. Extend the same compassion and understanding to yourself that you would to a close friend undergoing similar challenges.

17. Celebrating Your Progress

Every progress count, and you should celebrate every single win. Each step you take toward self care matters a lot and should be taken as a sign of victory. Be thankful to yourself for trying and recognize the impact that every “win” brings you closer to the end goal.  

Conclusion

In summary, self-care for separated and divorced parents is not a luxury but a necessity. Setting your health as a top priority will enable you to face co-parenting’s difficulties head-on and rebuild your life with resiliency. You can take care of yourself and foster a pleasant atmosphere for both you and your children by including self-care practises into your daily routine and asking for help when necessary. Keep in mind that caring for oneself is a loving gesture that benefits everyone.

Coping with Mental Health After Divorce and Adjusting to Co-Parenting Arrangements

Coping with Mental Health After Divorce and Adjusting to Co-Parenting Arrangements

Experiencing mental health struggles while adjusting to co-parenting arrangements is a normal and shared experience among parents in Canada. The process of adapting to new dynamics, schedules, and responsibilities can trigger a range of emotions, from stress and anxiety to moments of self-doubt. As a parent navigating co-parenting, it’s crucial to recognize that these challenges are part of a natural adjustment process and don’t define your ability to provide loving care for your child. Many parents find solace in knowing that seeking support and practicing self-care during this transitional phase is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength and dedication to their child’s well-being. Understanding that these feelings are commonly experienced by others can help alleviate the isolation often associated with mental health struggles. By acknowledging and addressing these challenges, parents can create a healthier co-parenting environment that fosters personal growth, effective communication, and a shared commitment to their child’s happiness and stability.

Canadian Co-Parents and Mental Health Research

Research on the mental health of newly separated or divorced parents in Canada suggests several key findings:

  1. Increased Stress and Anxiety: Canadian research has shown that newly separated or divorced parents often experience higher levels of stress and anxiety compared to parents in intact families. The process of separation or divorce, along with the challenges of co-parenting, can contribute to heightened emotional distress.
  2. Depression and Adjustment Difficulties: Studies have indicated that some co-parents in Canada may experience symptoms of depression and struggle with adapting to their new roles as single parents or co-parents. The adjustment period can be particularly challenging, leading to emotional difficulties.
  3. Parenting Challenges: Research suggests that co-parents may face difficulties in maintaining consistent parenting practices and effective communication. Disagreements over child-rearing decisions and custody arrangements can contribute to heightened tension and stress.
  4. Financial Strain: Economic changes resulting from separation or divorce can have a significant impact on the mental health of co-parents. Financial stressors, including changes in income and the cost of maintaining separate households, can add to the emotional burden.
  5. Support Networks: The presence of social support networks, such as friends, family, and professional counseling services, plays a crucial role in mitigating the negative impact of separation or divorce on mental health. Research has shown that accessing such support can contribute to better emotional well-being.
  6. Effects on Children: The mental health of co-parents can also affect the well-being of their children. Research highlights the importance of maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship to provide stability and positive role modeling for children’s emotional development.

It’s important to note that individual experiences can vary widely, and not all co-parents will experience the same level of mental health challenges.

How To Prioritize Your Mental Health While Adjusting to Co-Parenting

Co-parents can take several steps to prioritize their mental health while navigating the challenges of co-parenting. Here are examples that you can incorporate into your daily life and co-parenting arrangements that can protect and improve your mental health:

  1. Open Communication: Maintain clear and open communication with your co-parent. Establishing healthy communication channels can help reduce misunderstandings and alleviate stress.
  2. Set Boundaries: Clearly define boundaries for your co-parenting relationship. This includes discussing responsibilities, visitation schedules, and decision-making processes to reduce conflicts and uncertainty.
  3. Self-Care Routine: Dedicate time for self-care activities that promote mental well-being. Engage in hobbies, exercise, meditation, or any other activities that help you relax and recharge.
  4. Seek Professional Support: Consider seeking the assistance of therapists or counselors who specialize in co-parenting and mental health. Therapy can provide you with coping strategies and tools to manage stress and emotions.
  5. Social Support: Lean on friends, family members, or support groups for emotional support. Connecting with others who understand your situation can help you feel less isolated.
  6. Maintain Consistency: Strive for consistency in routines and rules between households. Predictability can provide a sense of stability for both you and your children.
  7. Focus on Co-Parenting Skills: Enhance your co-parenting skills through workshops or online resources. Learning effective communication and conflict resolution techniques can improve your overall experience.
  8. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and mindfulness meditation, can help you manage stress and stay present in the moment.
  9. Time Management: Organize your schedule efficiently to balance work, personal time, and parenting responsibilities. Effective time management can reduce feelings of overwhelm.
  10. Healthy Lifestyle: Prioritize a balanced diet, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep. Physical well-being can have a positive impact on your mental health.
  11. Avoid Negative Interactions: Minimize negative interactions with your co-parent that may trigger stress or conflict. Focus on maintaining a respectful and cooperative relationship.
  12. Stay Child-Centered: Keep your children’s best interests at the forefront. A child-centered approach to co-parenting can help alleviate some of the emotional strain.

Remember that every co-parenting situation is unique, so it’s important to find strategies that work best for your specific circumstances. If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional assistance and support.

Taking care of one’s own mental health as a parent is of paramount importance to safeguard the well-being of their child. A parent’s emotional state directly influences the atmosphere of the home, shaping the child’s sense of security and stability. When a parent prioritizes their mental health, they model healthy coping mechanisms and emotional resilience for their child. This, in turn, fosters an environment where open communication, empathy, and understanding thrive. By managing their own stress, anxiety, and emotional challenges, parents create a positive space that allows their child to flourish. Moreover, maintaining mental well-being empowers parents to respond to their child’s needs effectively, enabling them to provide consistent care, attention, and a strong foundation for their child’s emotional growth. Ultimately, when parents take care of their own mental health, they proactively contribute to the overall emotional development and happiness of their child.

The impact of divorce/separation on children and how to help them cope

how to help children cope

Not just one person, but both adults may face turbulence during divorce or separation. Caught in the crossfire, children’s innocent hearts can be impacted resulting in a tumultuous period. One should not overlook the emotional and psychological influence on children during this period. By having a proper grasp of things along with guidance and tactics to offer their kids during difficult times parents can assist them in emerging stronger.

1. Understanding the Emotional Turmoil:

Divorce or separation shakes the very bedrock of a child’s reality. Feeling bewildered, hurt and uncertain about their future is common for children when they experience an unleashing of a whirlwind of emotions. To acknowledge and validate their feelings is critical since children react differently from one another. Children may experience these common emotions:

  • The divorce effect: The loss of the whole family unit could trigger grief in children, leading to sadness and sorrow. The separation of their parents could result in them feeling deeply sad.
  • Misplaced anger:  Resentment can be caused by divorce towards one or both parents. Understanding the reasons behind their parents’ separation can be challenging for children, potentially leading them to direct anger towards either themselves or other individuals involved.
  • Anxiety: uncertainty and changes arising from divorce can cause anxiety and fear in children. Their worries may revolve around their future prospects, stability, and the risk of severed relationships.
  • Self-blame: Children frequently blame themselves for their parents’ separation and feel guilty. To prevent any misunderstanding, assure them that the divorce isn’t because of anything they did.

2. Building a Strong Support System:

A reliable support system is necessary for children during these trying times. Providing emotional support and stability as a parent is a vital role you play. Ponder over these strategies:

  • Open and Honest Communication: Establish open and honest communication with your child by encouraging them to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Affirm the validity of their emotions, while also communicating your willingness to listen actively and offer assistance.
  • Encourage Expression through Art and Play: In order to support younger children struggling with verbal articulation of their emotions, utilizing creative channels such as art and play can be beneficial. Encourage self-expression through artistic activities such as painting, drawing and journaling. The availability of safe spaces offered by these outlets facilitates the processing of emotions.
  • Seek Professional Help if Needed: Your child’s behavioral or emotional changes require that professional help is sought, so consider this option. Therapists and counselors trained to work specifically with children of separated or divorced parents can offer important guidance and support.
  • Foster Healthy Relationships: If possible, motivate your child to foster a healthy rapport with both of their parents. Respectful and cooperative co-parenting can foster a nurturing environment for your child’s emotional well-being.

3. Establishing Stability and Routine:

Significant alterations are common for a child’s life when their parents get divorced or separated. By establishing stability and routine, one can feel secure amidst uncertain times. Please consider what will be presented next:

  • Work things out with your ex-spouse

By working together with your ex-spouse to establish consistent rules, expectations, and routines for your child you can achieve consistency in parenting. The child may experience stability and reduced confusion due to consistency across households.

  • Create a structure that works

Creating structure and predictability in your child’s daily routine can help them. Regular mealtimes, bedtime routines, and activities can help establish a feeling of stability and control over their surroundings.

  • Maintain Familiarity: 

if possible, allow your child to keep certain familiar objects or maintain connections with their previous home or neighborhood. Familiarity can help them feel anchored during this period of transition.

4. Encouraging Emotional Resilience:

Your child’s long-term well-being relies greatly on developing emotional resilience. In the face of adversity and challenges, their resilience enables them to recover quickly and continue thriving. The following methods can help promote resilience:

  • Encourage Self-Care:

Instruct your child about the value of self-care and healthy ways to manage stress. Inspire them to engage in activities like physical exercise routines, regular journaling sessions for emotional release and reflection purposes and outdoor recreation/hobbying sessions for leisurely enjoyment.

  • Foster a Positive Mindset:

Assist your child in fostering a positive mindset by directing them to reframe negative thoughts and center on the positive aspects of their life. Encourage them to foster appreciation and uncover joy in commonplace experiences.

  • Promote Problem-Solving Skills:

Active participation in finding solutions to the challenges they encounter should be encouraged, while teaching them problem-solving strategies can promote your child’s problem-solving skills. This gives them the ability to take charge of their lives and cultivate confidence.

  • Create a Supportive Network: 

Help your child establish healthy relationships with friends, extended family members or support groups. A sturdy support system can provide additional sources of comfort and guidance.

Age Demographics and the Optimal Ways to Give Guidance and Reassurance

Different ages and developmental stages result in varied reactions from children experiencing divorce or separation. Meeting their specific age-related requirements through tailored communication and support is crucial. Analyzing various age demographics and the optimal ways to give guidance and reassurance:

1. Preschool-Aged Children (3-5 years):

Preschoolers are still grasping the concept of emotions and they might face difficulties while communicating about how they feel. In order to show your backing, try doing the following:

– Using simple terms they can understand, explain the situation to them while emphasizing that it’s not their fault.

– Reassure them by reiterating that both parents love and will continue to care for them.

Foster self-expression through playtime: Join in on role-playing activities, or give them dolls and stuffed animals to help portray their emotions. Comprehend the modifications.

2. Elementary School-Aged Children (6-12 years):

Kids in this age range can comprehend and articulate emotions better. Please consider the following list of strategies:

– Make room for candid conversations by providing a comfortable setting where people feel safe expressing their emotions, apprehensions, and inquiries. Use age-appropriate language when honestly answering their inquiries.

– Reassure them that feeling a range of emotions during this time is perfectly normal. Ensure that they understand feeling sad, angry, or confused is perfectly acceptable.

– Create a structured routine by setting predictable boundaries and consistent schedules to help them feel secure despite the changes.

3. Teenagers (13-18 years):

Divorce or separation can be particularly difficult for teenagers who often experience strong emotional upheaval and struggle with defining themselves. Follow these guidelines to provide your assistance:

– Respecting the privacy needs of adolescents is crucial since they often value it highly. Offer them solitude and time when necessary, while still stressing your accessibility and assistance.

– Initiate conversations about their feelings and actively listen without judgment to encourage open communication. Educate them that their standpoints and troubles count.

– Help to enable resource access: Assist them in locating appropriate books, articles or support groups based on their age so they may connect with others experiencing similar circumstances.

Remember, every child is unique, and their responses may vary even within the same age group. Stay attuned to their individual needs, remain patient, and adapt your approach accordingly.

By tailoring your communication and support to the developmental stage of your child, you can provide the guidance they require to navigate the impact of divorce or separation and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Conclusion:

Divorce or separation can be a deeply impactful experience for children, but it doesn’t have to define their future. By understanding their emotions, providing a strong support system, establishing stability, and nurturing resilience, parents can help their children navigate the challenges and thrive in the aftermath. Remember, your love, understanding, and presence are powerful tools to guide them through the storm and towards a brighter future.

2houses_ Children’s Mental Health During Separation

mental health

Separation and divorce is a challenging situation for all those involved, but supporting your child’s mental health during the separation can help them adjust more quickly, and even foster a stronger sense of resilience. Before we begin, if you are going through a separation or divorce, know that you are still a good parent. You are here, doing your best to learn about ways to support your child’s mental health during a separation, and that means you are doing a great job. There are many ways you can support your child’s mental health during this separation period, and by providing your child with a loving and compassionate environment, you are well on your way to helping your child adjust to your new arrangement. Thank you for prioritizing your child’s well-being as you learn to navigate your new lifestyles, and know that whatever decision allows both parents to be their happiest selves in the long run is always what is best for your child, too. Now, let’s dive into the potential psychological impacts of a separation on your child’s mental health and how you can effectively mitigate them.

Practical Strategies to Help Children Cope During a Separation

1. Create a safe environment for their feelings

Encourage open and honest communication with your children by allowing them to express their feelings and concerns about the separation. Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable sharing their emotions. Expect your child to experience a range of intense emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, anxiety, and a sense of loss when their parents separate. They may struggle to understand the reasons behind the separation and feel overwhelmed by the changes and uncertainty in their lives. Children often internalize the separation and may blame themselves for their parents’ breakup. They may believe that their behavior or actions somehow caused the separation, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. When confronted with these emotions, reassure your child that there is nothing they could have done to prevent the separation because it has nothing to do with them, and that it doesn’t affect how you or your co-parent feel about them.

2. Maintain familiar routines and a sense of stability

Separation often brings significant changes in a child’s daily routine, living arrangements, and family dynamics. These changes can disrupt their sense of stability and familiarity, leading to difficulties in adjusting to new routines, schools, or living environments. During a separation, children benefit from a sense of stability and predictability. Establish and maintain a consistent routine that includes regular mealtimes, bedtime rituals, and other familiar activities. This can provide a sense of security and help children adjust to the changes more effectively. The more aspects of their lives that stay the same, even small things like making their favorite meals or snacks, the more quickly they can adjust to the new arrangements. Stability and routines need to be maintained at both parent’s living environments, and the 2houses communication journal can help make co-parenting stress-free.

3. Reassure them of your love, unconditionally

Children often blame themselves for their parents’ separation. Reassure them that the separation is not their fault and that both parents still love them unconditionally. Remind them that the separation is an issue between adults and does not change the love and support they receive from their parents. Sometimes, the emotional strain of separation can affect a child’s academic performance and social interactions. They may have difficulty concentrating in school, experience a decline in grades, or struggle with forming and maintaining friendships. If your child’s mental health declines during a separation, now is not the time to scold them for their grades. Rather, make sure they understand that you love them unconditionally, no matter what their grades are. Give your child lots of patience and understanding as they learn to adjust to various lifestyle changes and mental health impacts they may experience during a separation.

4. Never let your child witness ongoing conflict and negativity

If the separation involves ongoing parental conflict, children may be exposed to arguments, tension, or negative communication between their parents. Witnessing or being caught in the middle of such conflicts is distressing for children and may impact their mental health, so do your best to keep conflict between you and your co-parent private. Minimize conflict and avoid negative discussions or arguments about the separation in front of your children. Exposing them to parental conflicts can be the most distressing part of a separation and impact their emotional well-being. Instead, strive for respectful and cooperative communication with your co-parent, especially in front of the children. Learn more about strategies for co-parenting with a high-conflict co-parent, here.

5. Maintain regular contact within the family unit

Following a separation, children may experience changes in their relationships with both parents, such as spending less time with one parent or having to adjust to new custody arrangements. These changes can affect their sense of security and attachment, potentially leading to emotional difficulties. A separation can alter the dynamics within the extended family as well, including relationships with grandparents, siblings, and other relatives. Children may experience changes in their support networks and need time to adjust to new family structures. If possible, support regular contact and healthy relationships with the other parent. Encourage visitation or quality time with the non-custodial parent and extended family, as long as it is safe and appropriate. Maintaining a positive and supportive co-parenting relationship can provide children with a sense of security and stability that is crucial to their mental health and well-being. Learn how to make a co-parenting schedule that works for your family, here.

6. Remember to take care of yourself, too

Self-care is crucial during times of stress and upheaval. Engage in activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, spending time with friends and family, pursuing hobbies, or seeking support from a therapist or support group. A good parent is a happy and healthy parent that has the emotional capacity to meet their child’s needs, because they are not pouring from an empty cup. Fill your cup with people, places and activities that relieve your stress and enable you to bring that joy back to your children. If they see that you are handling the separation well, they will be comforted and feel more inclined to feel the same way.

Remember that every child and family is unique, so it’s essential to tailor your approach to your children’s specific needs. Consulting with a qualified professional who specializes in child psychology or family therapy can provide more personalized guidance and support for your situation.

Resources to Support Your Child’s Mental Health in Australia

These resources can provide valuable information, support, and guidance for parents and families experiencing separation in Australia. If you have concerns about your child’s mental health, it’s always recommended to consult with a qualified mental health professional for personalized advice and support.

Kids Helpline: Kids Helpline is a free, confidential 24/7 counseling service for children and young people aged 5 to 25 in Australia. They offer phone counseling, web chat, and email support. Visit their website: https://kidshelpline.com.au/

ReachOut: ReachOut is an online mental health organization that provides information, tools, and support for young people and their parents. They offer resources on a wide range of topics, including separation and divorce. Visit their website: https://au.reachout.com/

Headspace: Headspace is a national youth mental health foundation in Australia. They provide mental health support, information, and services for young people aged 12 to 25 and their families. Visit their website: https://headspace.org.au/

Parentline: Parentline is a confidential telephone counseling service for parents and carers in Queensland and the Northern Territory. They provide support, guidance, and referrals for parents dealing with various parenting challenges. Visit their website: https://www.parentline.com.au/

Raising Children Network: The Raising Children Network is a comprehensive online resource providing evidence-based information and resources for parents and carers. They cover a wide range of topics, including child development, parenting, and mental health. Visit their website: https://raisingchildren.net.au/

Australian Psychological Society (APS): The APS is the leading professional association for psychologists in Australia. Their website offers a search feature to find psychologists in your area who specialize in child and family mental health. Visit their website: https://www.psychology.org.au/

Dealing with Substance Abuse and Addiction in the Context of Divorce and Child Custody Cases

Divorce and Child Custody Cases

If children are involved in a divorce proceeding and substance abuse is a factor, one spouse may have worries about the other parent’s ability to maintain a secure home for the children. It is not difficult for a parent to exaggerate or make up false claims of drug or alcohol use, which can be challenging to defend. It is essential to have a solid understanding of the implications that substance abuse can have on a child custody battle.

When deciding who gets custody of the children in a divorce, the courts consider several factors. The emotional bonds that each child has with their respective parents will be taken into consideration by the court. In addition, they will investigate the parents’ mental and physical health, as well as their moral character. If the children are at an age when they can express their opinions, the court may do so as well. In the context of determining custody of a kid, substance misuse is a matter of the utmost importance. This article dives deeper into the topic at hand and offers solutions to its challenges in the context of divorce proceedings.

Substance Abuse and Addiction as a Determinant in Child Custody

The management of substance abuse and addiction issues is complex for different reasons. A child is invariably put at risk when a parent who is responsible for child care is addicted to a substance, be it alcohol,  drugs, or any other thing. Not only can a parent’s history of substance misuse weigh into initial choices regarding child custody. A parent’s excessive substance usage may also play a role in subsequent decisions regarding child custody, even after the divorce or custody orders have been issued. 

If a parent with sole or shared custody begins showing concerning signs of substance abuse that could put the child in danger, the other parent has the right to petition the court for a change in the child’s living arrangement. They may do so even if they only have visitation rights. As a co-parent in this situation, you will need proof to support your suspicions if you believe that your co-parent’s use of alcohol or drugs has dramatically altered or if you have just recently found substance usage that was previously hidden. Additionally, you will need evidence to demonstrate that your child may be at risk due to your co-parent’s substance abuse. 

If this evidence persuades the court that a modification is necessary, the judge may alter the living situation of the kid. They can reduce the amount of time the parent misusing substances spends with the children or impose restrictions on visitation rights. If a parent’s substance abuse problem is severe enough to impede their ability to make responsible decisions, that parent risks losing either exclusive or shared legal custody of their children.

Substance abuse can also lead to maltreatment or neglect of children. If a juvenile court decides to remove a child from a parent’s care as part of a dependency proceeding, that parent will typically be given a certain amount of time to seek treatment and take other steps. This is to persuade the judge that it is safe to return the child to that parent’s care. However, if the judge decides that those attempts at reunification have been unsuccessful, the parent faces the possibility of not only losing custody of the child but also losing all of their parental rights to the child.

How Parents Can Address the Issue of Substance Abuse and Addiction

If the parties involved in a custody dispute cannot agree, they always have the option of going to trial and having the judge decide for them. If, as a co-parent, you have any concerns about the drinking or drug use of your co-parent, you may include provisions in your settlement agreement to address those concerns. Most households have at least one parent capable of reaching a parenting agreement on their own or with the assistance of a custody mediator. However, if you are worried about the well-being of your child as a result of your co-parent’s drinking or drug use, you should talk to a lawyer about your situation. 

These disagreements can be complex on both an emotional and a legal level. An experienced child custody attorney can explain how the law in your state applies to your situation. They can help you acquire the kind of evidence you will need to safeguard your children and your parental rights. This type of attorney can also assist you in understanding how the law in your state applies to your circumstance. By doing so, you and your co-parent become aware of what is applicable and what is not when it comes to child care.

For example, you may include an agreement that requires both parents to abstain from alcohol or recreational drugs for some time before and during parenting time. It is usual for the judge to approve your agreement to include it in an official court order. After then, you have the right to return to court to have the order enforced if the other parent breaks any of the terms of the agreement.

Conclusion

Children whose parents are into substance abuse or addiction are at a greater risk of abuse or neglect. Substance abuse and addiction can both impair a parent’s capacity to fulfill their job as a parent. It can make it more difficult for them to control their impulses, making them more likely to engage in abusive behavior. It is possible for the children living in these homes to suffer from a wide range of mental, emotional, and physical health issues. As a result, the decision of who will have custody of the children in a divorce case involving substance misuse or addiction is given serious consideration. Children who are going through the process of transitioning following their parents’ divorce must be raised in a secure atmosphere free from substance addiction.

Outcomes of Divorce on Children: Infants to Adults

Outcomes of Divorce or Separation for Infants to Adults

It’s no secret that we can never truly know how our children will mature into adults. As parents, we like to think we have a solid grasp on who they are as people, but deep down, we understand that the adult world will often shape our children in ways out of our control.

Much of our effort as parents is focused on the time we do have control over, specifically our child’s formative years. As these years will shape a considerable amount of our child’s demeanour throughout their adult life.

Sadly, a divorce or separation can have a profound effect on a child’s growth. Research has shown that a wide range of behavioural, emotional, and even philosophical changes caused by a divorce or separation can shape children in their adult years.

Today we’ll be exploring those changes, and specifically outlining what this may mean for the adult your child will one day become.

Outcomes of Divorce or Separation: By Age Group

Depending on the age of your child when the divorce or separation happens, the effects can differ. We’ve explored these effects in detail, across our other in-depth articles on the subject. For a better understanding, we recommend you also read those.

Today we’ll be taking a broad-stroke look at how each age group responds to divorce. Providing you with a foundational understanding of what your child may be going through.

Then, we’ll discuss how these effects can manifest in developmental and growth outcomes for your child as an adult.

Birth to 18 Months

Although this may come as a surprise, divorce or separation can have an effect as early as birth. Infants may sense a conflict between their parents and in the house, but they are unable to comprehend why it is happening. If the stress persists, babies may exhibit frequent emotional outbursts, and become irritable and clinging, especially around unfamiliar individuals. Additionally, they could regress or have developmental delays.

18 Months to 3 Years Old

Children between the ages of 18 months and 3 years might experience emotional and psychological effects from divorce. A child’s primary link with their parents throughout the toddler years makes any significant upheaval in the home environment challenging to accept and understand. Furthermore, toddlers are egocentric and could believe they are to blame for their parent’s divorce. They may frequently scream and demand more attention than normal, regress and resume thumb-sucking, fight toilet training, grow afraid of being left alone, have difficulty falling asleep, or have difficulties sleeping by themselves at night.

3 to 6 Years Old

Divorce is a challenging topic for kids between the ages of 3 and 6, mostly due to the terrifying amount of uncertainty it brings. No matter how stressful their home life may be, pre-schoolers do not comprehend the concept of divorce and do not want their parents to split.

Pre-schoolers, like toddlers, could think that they are ultimately to blame for their parent’s divorce. They can feel apprehensive about the future, repress their anger, have unfavourable thoughts or ideas, or have frequent nightmares.

6 to 11 Years Old

Children between the ages of 6 and 11 who are in school may experience emotions of abandonment as a result of divorce. Younger children, particularly those aged 5 to 8, may not comprehend the idea and believe their parents are divorcing them. They can be concerned about losing one of their parents and have fantasies about their parents reconciling. Kids frequently think they can “save” their parents’ union.

Children between the ages of 8 and 11 may hold one parent responsible for the breakup and side with the “good” parent against the “bad.” As they show their rage in many ways, such as by fighting with peers, lashing out at the outside world, or becoming worried, withdrawn, or sad, they may accuse their parents of being cruel or selfish. Some children have physical signs of divorce, such as unsettled stomachs or headaches brought on by stress, as well as fabricated illnesses that cause them to miss school.

 

The Outcomes Moving into Adult Life

Starting in their teenage years, children will begin to demonstrate many of the psychological effects on their personality, growth, and philosophy, that a divorce or separation may have caused. It’s important to note that it’s no guarantee these effects will take root, but we will be outlining them under the assumption they have.

As outlined in the academic research paper “Children of Divorce:  An Investigation of the Developmental Effects from Infancy Through Adulthood” by Leeann Kot and Holly M. Shoemaker, adults (and teenagers) of divorced parents exhibit a higher likelihood of:

  • Depression,
  • Anxiety disorders,
  • Anger issues,
  • Poor communication/social skills, especially with their parents,
  • Insomnia,
  • Emotional instability or sensitivity,
  • Inferiority complex,
  • Disillusion with future marriage prospects,
  • Poor academic engagement,
  • Nihilistic attitude towards relationships in general,
  • Anti-social or destructive behaviour.

In Conclusion

Whilst research into children of divorce and their adult development can be daunting, it’s no cause for alarm. Research has reflected time and time again that children with a strong support network, close connection with their parents, and an honest dialogue to discuss what they are feeling, will often overcome these issues early.

There are no guarantees in life, but being there for your child, and educating yourself on what they’re going through, is the most effective step you can take. Never forget, there is no shortage of support out there for you as well.

Sociological Effects of Divorce on Children

Divorce and children

Making the choice to divorce or separate is never easy, especially when children are involved. It can often feel impossible to gauge how this might affect your child. This can leave you feeling powerless to tackle the problems that may arise.

Thankfully, many studies have been conducted on the sociological effects of divorce on children. Understanding how different children react to and process a separation or divorce can be vital to ensuring your child grows up without any lasting effects on their development.

Today we’ll explore the known sociological effects that affect children with separated or divorced parents. as well as strive to provide helpful ways to manage, support, and understand your child in this difficult time.

Humans As Social Creatures: The Cornerstone to Adolescent Growth

Before we delve into the sociological effects of divorce on children, it’s important to lay a foundation of understanding for humans in general. It’s common for these problems to be isolated into their own little box, ignoring the broader scope of how we all operate.

Humans are social creatures, and children are significantly more reliant on the sociological structures around them than adults. We yearn for connection, protection, and understanding amongst our peers. If we begin to lose these connections, we will often reflect introspectively to find out why.

This phenomenon is responsible for a significant amount of personal growth in all adults.

Yet, what about a child?

Children will respond to a divorce or separation differently, yet they all share one key quality. They suffer a pivotal collapse of a core sociological structure in their lives. They become introspective, yet they are often too young to fully process what this means.

It’s for this reason that the following sociological effects can manifest themselves: 

Difficulty With Academic Engagement

Children who experience their parents’ divorce at a young age will often struggle with academic studies in the future, studies reflect. The core theory behind this has to do with their inability to develop healthy relationships with their peers and teachers.

On the surface, this can express itself in the form of disillusionment. Children will often express no excitement for study and a nihilistic attitude towards what it can offer them. Inside, children will feel as if they can’t connect or succeed after experiencing such a traumatic event so early in their lives.

Sudden Destructive Behaviour

Studies have shown that children who suffer through the divorce of their parents are likely to express themselves through destructive behaviour. For younger children, below the age of ten, this is often seen through trashing their room, fighting their parents physically, or committing a petty crime.

For teenagers, destructive behaviour can often be drug-related, involve violence at school, or involve petty crime as well.

Feelings of Guilt, Anxiety, Pain, and Regret

Immediately following a divorce or separation, children will be feeling a cocktail of emotions. These include acute guilt, anxiety, pain, and regret. While each child will process these differently, studies have shown that for up to a year after the divorce or separation, it can have a negative impact on their social behaviour.

There is no one true answer to how this will present itself. Every child is different. Yet, knowing your child is feeling this range of emotions should help you to approach them in a healthy manner.

The academic studies around this topic reflect one key element that’s helpful. You should not approach this problem with the belief you’ll “solve” it. Instead, simply give your child a healthy medium to express what they’re feeling.

Inferiority Complex

It is extremely common for children to develop an inferiority complex as they mature when a divorce or separation happens early in their lives. The prevailing theory behind the cause of this has to do with the above point. Feelings of guilt, primarily, cause the child to feel that they were the reason for the divorce.

While these feelings are frequently subconscious, they have no bearing on the outcome. This can express itself in their ability to make friends, their academic studies, their teenage love lives, and even how they view their own bodies.

The best approach to tackling this problem is honesty. When your child is old enough to understand, be upfront with why the divorce or separation happened.

Disillusion In Future Marriage Prospects

It is not uncommon for children with divorced parents to have a disillusioned attitude toward marriage in their adult lives. This connection makes sense because they frequently feel as if they’ve seen how marriage can fail and want to avoid heartache.

Studies have also reflected that this can also spill over into how adults with divorced parents operate in the dating world. They often don’t look for deep connections and have trouble opening up enough to make a deep and long-lasting one.

In Conclusion

While this list may make you cringe, it is critical to put all of this information into context. Understanding the issues that your child may face as a result of their parents’ divorce is half the battle. There is no guarantee that your child will suffer from any or all of these sociological issues.

Yet, if they do, you’ll have the understanding and compassion to be there for them. Helping them to understand and process a divorce or separation.

How to Rebuild Your Style after Divorce

How to Rebuild Your Style after Divorce

Going through a divorce can cause a lot of stress and make you rethink your entire life. Now that you’re starting your life over, you’ll want to reinvent yourself entirely, ad what better way to start than from your style. Looking back to your wardrobe and all the outfits you either regretted wearing or never had the chance to show off are now in the past. From now on, you’ll become a whole new person aiming to look like a true fashionista, and this is where you need to start.

Wardrobe intervention

Clothes are precious to many of us, but they need to go through a thorough filtering process once you decide to rebuild your persona style. Open your wardrobe, take everything out and start the estimate. Remember that iconic scene from Sex and the City movie, when they’re deciding on all the outfits Carrie should take or leave? That’s what you need too. Put a vote on every piece of clothing and be ruthless. Bring reinforcement and allow your friends to be non-biased. Only keep the pieces that will allow you to create new, improved looks for yourself.

Online research

Once you’ve left with a few items of quality clothes and footwear, it’s time to start looking for inspiration. Do you even know what you’re looking for in your new edition? Start by browsing through fashion magazines and Pinterest. Create a vision board of all the looks that you like. On top of that, don’t forget to search for outfits that compliment your figure. Otherwise, your shopping trip will be too frustrating.

Shop ‘till you drop

Speaking of shopping, get your credit card ready for swiping. Now that you know what you’re looking for, it’s time to put on your comfortable shoes and start raiding the stores. Invest in new and trendy day dresses that will show everyone how strong and confident you are. With a day dress, you’ll radiate sass and class at the same time while feeling fierce too. With a pair of well-tailored jeans and a fitted blazer, you’ll be on you’re a-game every day, no matter the occasion. Accessorize smart and don’t miss out on the opportunity to look your best at work, at home, when shopping or when you’re out enjoying a relaxing weekend afternoon.

Don’t be a slave to trends

Yes, online magazines and Pinterest are endless sources of fashion trends, but no, you shouldn’t succumb to trends by any means. Just because something is trending, doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for everyone (or anyone for that matter). Use the latest fashion trends as an inspiration for what you’ll fashion for yourself. Let the trends guide you and offer a building ground on which you can further upgrade your style.

Wear clothes that fit like a glove

One of the reasons you shouldn’t follow fashion trends at any cost is because some clothes won’t fit you like they fit the models. So, when you start reinventing your style, only invest in clothing items that look like they’ve been made for you. Always try the clothes before you buy them That way, you’ll be sure you’ve got the right size, cut, and colour. No matter how much you like nude tops, if you have fair skin, many nude shades can make you look washed up. Furthermore, not all clothes will fit every body type, so shop according to your figure to always look like a supermodel.

Look for quality instead of quantity

If you have a fixed budget, shop for quality staple pieces. Regardless of what your wardrobe looks like after the intervention, invest in trademark pieces that you can easily mix and match. Quality shirts, leather jackets, pencil skirts and blazers that will last for more than one season are always the best choice. A little black dress and a few more day dresses to make you look like you’re ready for a date will be the best investment that will pay off in the long run. Don’t shop for items on sale just because they’re more affordable now. Think if you’ll ever wear them, and only invest in them if they’re worth it.

Rebuilding your style may seem like a challenge, but it’s actually easier than it appears. All you need to do is declutter the old items and invest in new clothes that will make you look better than ever before. Learn what pieces are worth buying and start your new life with your head up high in those lovely heels.

How to Let Go of Bitterness After Divorce

How to Let Go of Bitterness After Divorce

When going through a divorce, you’re facing a challenging, confusing, time in your life. While you’re working to take care of your family, you must also remember to take care of yourself. With so much uncertainty, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and to let the emotions obscure your perspective on the situation. But, it’s time to start taking back your control and putting yourself first. Give yourself permission to take the time to heal and grow past this challenging event in your life. If you don’t allow yourself the space to do just that, you’ll only hold yourself down to feelings of bitterness and frustration. Here are some tips to help you on your path forward to find optimism and acceptance from a difficult place. 

Grieve the Old

Divorce is a loss and there is a lot of emotion that comes with navigating that loss. This involves grieving and the many ways in which that is felt differs from person to person. It may feel like you have to hold everything together and keep on track, yet, that’s just not feasible. You have to open yourself up to process the emotions that you’re experiencing. Whatever you may be feeling is valid. Try not to fight it or repress it, even if that may feel like a short-term solution; in the long run, it’s only going to cause more harm. 

With that said, feeling your emotions is just the first step because you don’t want them to overrun you. The next step is to talk it out. Talking through your thoughts, along with your mental and emotional state in general, is a way to grow and move forward. Whether it’s a family member, friend, or licensed professional, having someone to help you make sense of what you’re going through and acknowledge it without harboring it will help you to form healthy coping mechanisms.

Accept the Present

The process of grieving is intense and is not linear in any way. It’s not a simple process to come to acceptance, but having that as an underlying goal can guide each day in a positive manner. It’s easy to look back on the situation with a mentality of what you should’ve, could’ve, or would’ve done differently. However, this is not productive or fair to you. At the end of the day, you can only focus on the present and move forward into the future. 

Finding ways to come to terms with your current situation can include recognizing any judgments you have towards yourself and others, identifying the things that you are grateful for presently, and taking note of actions you can take for the future. Getting into the habit of journaling is a great way to work through these ideas, especially ones that draw you back to the past. Anytime you feel a judgment or resentment from the past, write it down to get it out of your head and leave it behind so you are not occupied with these thoughts and you can turn your focus to the future. 

Turn Your Focus Inward

The one constant thing you can take control of in life is yourself and your reactions. In a time when it feels like you’ve lost all control and sense of order, you can look to yourself for a grounding presence. You can explore more about who you are, your feelings, opinions, likes, and dislikes. You can get to know yourself all over again, being able to learn with fewer outside influences. Ultimately, this is a time to define who you are outside of marriage.

This exercise should feel grounding and healing, rather than hyper-critical and defeating. Self-reflection is meant to bolster positive growth and a strong understanding of who you are. Self-awareness and introspection can actually be a very tricky thing if you’re not careful. When you’re taking part in these activities, be cognizant of the ways in which you are talking to yourself, and make sure that you are offering compassion, patience, support, and understanding, the same way you would if it was a loved one.

Look forward to What’s New and Changing

Newness can be scary. Going through a divorce brings about a lot of change, but this doesn’t have to be as concerning as you might think. By reframing your take on this time in your life, you can turn this into something more positive and exciting, with the idea that you can make anything you want out of your new situation. Change is inevitable and constant, but don’t forget you are adaptable and resilient.

Start with making a list of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Then, start checking things off that list! Find ways to spark your joy, creativity, and passion. Look at this as a time to reorganize and redesign whatever you want. One thing you can do is find ways to embrace healthy choices throughout your daily routine, not just for you, but your family too. Something to try would be a new workout class, not only does this benefit your health, but it’s a great way to meet new people. Maybe play around with a new style to find ways to build your confidence and security in this more ambiguous phase in your life. Try to remember the possibilities for you are endless in the best way.

Channel Your Positive Energy

This is not a situation that is going to consistently feel exciting. There are going to be lots of ups and downs, but the best way to move forward is by harnessing the ups and focusing your energy on growth and healing. Luckily, there are so many different ways to channel your energy. Now’s the time to take on a project you’ve been meaning to do or learn something entirely new. Whether it’s a new hobby or just an opportunity to revamp something in your life, find an outlet that brings the passion inside of you to the forefront.

Leaning into your social circle or finding a new community entirely can open you up to new experiences. Whether it’s through close friends or meeting new people through shared interests you are doing new things. Take a step back and think about the things that interest you and have always wanted to try, this is a great starting point to find a community that is similar to you. If you’re an avid reader, you might love to join a book club. Whether it’s local to your area, or you take advantage of online resources, there are numerous ways you can get involved and put yourself out there. Use this time of newfound independence to share the passions that were once kept to yourself with others to find more joy in every day.

Create Peace Within Your Space

The space which surrounds you daily can have a huge impact on your mood and emotions. Your home, especially what was once a shared home, can pack in a lot of memories of loved ones and the past. Sitting in the past as it once was is only going to hold you back. Rather than tiptoe around the shell of the old, it’s time to start bringing in new life. There is so much that can be done to refresh your space that will also allow you to refresh your mindset.

Investing in your space is investing in yourself. Now’s the time to take on the home projects you’ve been waiting to get to and build out the design that truly speaks to you. These projects can be of any size large or small. Whether it’s as simple as repainting a room or a little more involved by breaking out the power tools, this is a moment of empowerment for you to experiment with different styles and decor that inspire you. If you’re still trying to find your personal design style after so much time living in a shared space, lean into transitional pieces while you figure it out. One great project to start with is installing a shiplap accent wall. Shiplap is a popular design element because of how subtle yet versatile it is- it fits into every style of decor without overwhelming your space. As you transition, adapt, and thrive, with the many changes in your life your home will be a reflection of your growth. If you think your style is trending toward farmhouse but in a year or so, you find it’s actually more modern, the shiplap accent will still fit perfectly as you swap out decor. Pair this accent with furniture pieces and other design elements you’ve always wanted and transform your home into a space that reflects not only your personality but brings you peace in this challenging time; a space that should continue to grow with you for the years ahead.

Find What You Want and Go After It

You can’t change the past, but you can look to the future. Maybe this is an unexpected time in your life, but that’s what makes it all the more unique. Now is your time to do whatever feels right for you. Yes, you’re still grieving a relationship that once was, and that will continue to be a part of your journey, but it is certainly not where the story ends. Rather than hold on to any resentment or negativity, continue to move through it as you heal, grow, and learn more about yourself than ever before. Ground yourself in your strength and resilience, and work towards creating a brand new life to fall in love with.