Supporting a Child’s Ability to Cope with the Emotional Impact of Separation and Divorce

Emotional Impact of Separation and Divorce

When parents find themselves considering separation and divorce, they often think of the different impacts on the whole family. Monetary, living spaces and even schooling factor in but, often, parents are reassured that children are resilient. While this is true, it is important for parents to understand the emotional impact of separation and divorce and how to help their children cope with it.

What Emotional Impacts Occur With Children?

There are a number of emotional impacts that you can see in your child during separation and divorce. These can be:

  • Strong Emotions: Children often experience a range of emotions from sadness to anger. They can have a sense of loss and can experience high levels of anxiety. Depression is also not uncommon. 
  • Behavior Problems: There are a range of behavior problems that occur including delinquency, problems connecting or experiencing increased conflict with peers or adults, impulsive behaviour and conduct disorders. In addition to those behavior problems, children often engage in risk taking behaviors, such as early sexual activity and drug and alcohol use.
  • Poor Academic Performance: While we think of this as more of a psychological hurdle, it is often linked to emotional impacts. Recently, a study has shown that poor academic performance is seen more commonly in children where divorce was unexpected, rather than when divorce was expected.

It is important to understand that the age of the child will also have emotional impacts. Young children are more likely to worry about not being loved any longer by one or both parents. Grade school children often shoulder the blame of divorce and teenagers can become quite angry with one or both of their parents. Regardless of age, children often feel fear and confusion around the divorce and separation, along with a high level of stress, which can lead to those behavioral impacts as a result.

Helping Your Children Cope with Emotional Impacts

Coping with the emotional impacts of divorce and separation are key in helping your child adjust to the new norm in their life. In addition, parents should understand that coping is an ongoing process. Even when kids look like they are fully coping with the change, there can be setbacks that bring new, or old, emotions to the forefront and parents may have to shift the coping mechanisms.

However, we have several coping mechanisms that will help your child cope with the emotional impacts. 

1. Coping with Your Own Emotional Impacts

Although a lot of our focus is on the impact of separation and divorce on children, it is important to start by looking at the emotional impacts you are facing yourself. No matter how you reached the decision to separate, you will have your own emotional impacts that can include anger, frustration, grief, anxiety and a range of other emotions. 

Take time to destress, exercise and look into therapy to help you work through the emotions of separation and divorce. Find the coping strategies that work for you and put them to use daily. By learning how to cope with your emotional impacts, you will model coping strategies to your children. 

2. Adult Problems – Adult Solutions

While this is not directly combating emotional impact directly, it is one of the most important steps that you can take as parents. Divorce affects the entire family, but it is still an adult problem that adults need to find the solutions for. Children should not be involved in this process at all as it adds unnecessary stress for them.

Some ways that you can minimize bringing the kids into the adult problem are:

  • Communicate Directly: Don’t make your kids the messenger. If you need to communicate something to your ex-partner, say it directly to them through phone calls, emails, texts, etc. When a child is working as the messenger, it can lead them to easily step into a mediator role, which leads to an increased risk of anxiety and depression.
  • Be Diplomatic: This goes with communicating directly but when you are diplomatic, there is often less tension between parents. Make sure that you are not badmouthing the other parent to or in front of the child. 
  • Learn: Parenting through divorce and separation is a learning process so it is important to learn and educate yourself as parents. Find out the best way to navigate divorce, how to meet the needs of your kids together and how to get support when needed.

In the end, maintaining a parenting relationship with your ex-partner that is as free of tension and stress as possible will go a long way in helping your kids cope with the divorce.

3. Foster Healthy Dynamics

Fostering healthy dynamics with your children and your ex-partner enables everyone to cope with the emotional impact of separation and divorce. This can be done in a number of ways. 

  1. Foster a strong parent-child relationship: Keep conflict low, find ways to meet the needs of your kids in positive, respectful ways. Be sure to set limits but also give the child parental time, affection and warmth.
  2. Allow your kids to feel safe: Find out where their worries are and make sure they feel loved and safe. Many children can have a fear of abandonment from one or more parents so reassurance that you will be there for your child is important. 
  3. Keep routines: With so much change, it can be difficult to keep routines but it is important to try. Agree with your partner on routines and schedules that will happen at both homes and enforce those routines. When kids have a sense of structure, they feel less stress and going between homes won’t be as scary for them.
  4. Let your kids tell you what they need: While we want to solve all the hurt your child is living through, it is important to not always fix it for them. Listen to them when they tell you what they need and try to incorporate that into your child’s life. They’ll feel empowered, and learn that they are strong enough to work through the stress. 

Before moving on to the final tip, it is important to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-partner through open communication. The more you communicate in a respectful manner, the better your child’s coping skills.

4. Be Consistent

Consistency is key with coping with emotional impacts. Be consistent with your actions, time and with routines as mentioned above. In addition, establish rules and consequences with your ex-partner in regard to your children. If consequences need to be given, make sure that it is consistent between both households. Studies have shown that consistency, even in regard to discipline, help reduce delinquency in children. 

In the end, these are coping strategies that you can use without professional help; however, if nothing is working and your child is still experiencing a lot of emotional distress and negative behaviors as a result, it is important to seek professional help. This help could be through mediators to provide a lower level of tension between parents, or psychological support from a trained professional for your children and even your whole family. 

The key to successfully coping with the emotional impact from separation and divorce is in being proactive and getting the support you and your children need. 

Managing Childcare Costs after Divorce: Resources and Tips for Budgeting and Negotiating Expenses

Managing Childcare Costs after Divorce


Divorce can be an emotionally draining and difficult experience for parents and children. Our previous blog posts have shown that divorce has a profound emotional impact on children in many circumstances. Since infants learn about the world via their parents and surroundings, this foundation is strengthened as children grow older.

It is also a time when parents must carefully consider the financial implications of raising children independently. Managing childcare costs after a divorce can be challenging, but with the right resources and tips, developing a budget that works for both parents is possible.

Continue reading for some of the most helpful resources and tips for managing childcare costs after divorce. These include budgeting strategies, negotiating expenses with your former partner, and finding additional financial assistance.

How Are Child Care Expenses Divided after a Divorce?

Childcare expenses can quickly consume a large portion of a parent’s annual budget. In the United States, the rate of childcare ranges from $5,184 to $432 per month. Several variables influence how parents divide childcare expenditures when they divorce. Depending on the scenario, one or both parents may need to take on the primary or secondary caregiver role. Moreover, determining how childcare expenditures are distributed in a divorce may be complicated because childcare costs are sometimes unexpected and difficult to estimate. Childcare costs, in particular, may be influenced by the child’s age and the availability of daycare facilities.

It is imperative to note that childcare costs will differ depending on your child’s age and whether you have access to childcare facilities. The child’s age, the area where you live, and the type of childcare you and your child receive are essential factors to consider.

How to Divide Childcare Expenses When Separated

If you and your spouse are separating, it is a must to establish a financial agreement regarding how to split childcare expenses. You and your spouse both likely have differing childcare needs and economic needs. By establishing a financial agreement, you can ensure that your needs are met. Before you begin the separation process, discussing childcare and the future is worthwhile. The separation process can be emotionally challenging for parents and children, so discussing childcare is beneficial before the separation begins.

At the very least, it is critical to agree on who will take on the role of primary caregiver in the event of a separation. This can be helpful to have a financial agreement about how to split childcare costs. It can also help to have an agreement about who will take on responsibility for paying child support. This can be helpful if one parent cannot pay child support or is unwilling to do so.

How to budget around spousal and child support after getting divorced?

There are methods to budget around increased expenditures if one of the parents gets help from a previous spouse or another source. In many circumstances, one parent is responsible for paying spousal and child support, which may be difficult. Although budgeting for spousal and child support after divorce might be challenging, it is feasible. It is possible to manage childcare expenditures after divorce by following a few financial strategies, including controlling the expense of spousal and child support.

  • Contribute to child support. You may reduce the amount of child support you must pay by donating to it. If you are required to pay child support, contributing may assist in minimizing the overall amount you will have to spend.
  • Think about using flexible spending accounts. You may be able to manage child support bills, such as childcare costs, by setting up a flexible spending account. You may also assist with managing expenditures related to spousal assistance, such as housing and food.

Best way to spend money before and after divorce

Before you start budgeting for your family, you must have a strategy for managing your funds. Although adjusting to another budget may be difficult with the emotional turbulence of divorce, having a strategy for handling funds can be beneficial. Making a financial plan may help manage emotions and ease the transition to your current budget.

How to Create a Financial Plan

Make a budget. Many individuals start managing their money after creating a budget. A budget may aid in the simplification of financial planning and give a simple approach to monitoring and managing money. A budget may also help you make better financial decisions and find new ways to earn more.

Determine and address risk areas. Identifying and resolving areas of risk, such as high-cost loans or areas of trouble in your portfolio, may help simplify managing money. You can simplify your money management process and lower spending by identifying and resolving high-cost loans.

Best Way to Schedule Regular Bank Account Transfers

Scheduling monthly bank account transfers are one of the best strategies for handling childcare costs after a divorce. You may reduce the time you spend running funds by following a regular transfer plan. Creating a regular transfer timetable could ensure that all financial transactions are executed on time. A systematic transfer plan will help you keep track of childcare expenditures after divorce, including the price of daycare.

However, by putting in some extra effort, it is possible to develop a budget that works for both parents. A child care and development block grant (CCDBG) is a federal program that is legislation establishing the Child Care and Development Fund (CCDF). The CCDF is maintained by states, territories, and tribes and defines how federal funds will provide financial assistance to low-income families seeking child care. The National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies can also assist in managing childcare costs after divorce easier than ever before.

If you are beginning to manage your childcare costs after a divorce, it is wise to plan ahead. This means you can start creating a budget as soon as you can. You may be unable to work out a shared custody arrangement with your ex-spouse, but it’s vital to be honest with yourself when creating a budget.

Conclusion: Managing Childcare Costs after a Divorce

Just because a couple split up doesn’t mean they shouldn’t continue to share the responsibility of raising their child. However, parents must set aside the emotions of their divorce and focus on what is most beneficial for the children involved. This means putting aside past grievances and concentrating on resolving childcare costs.

The most important advice I can give you is don’t panic. Managing childcare costs after divorce is difficult but not impossible, and once you’ve found your feet, you’ll be much more confident about the future. We have many other online resources available that can assist with budgeting and negotiating childcare expenses. We would be happy to assist you in any way we can if you have any questions or concerns.

Helping Your Child Build Resilience after Divorce: Strategies for Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Health and Well-Being

Helping Your Child Build Resilience after Divorce


Divorcing can be an emotionally challenging experience for both parents and children. While it is appropriate to acknowledge the pain and grief that comes with divorce, it is also imperative to focus on helping your child build resilience in moving forward.

According to the National Institute for Health Statistics, 10 million children (14% of the population) live in divorced or separated households. By understanding your child’s unique needs, you can create a supportive environment that encourages healthy emotional development and well-being.

Continue reading about strategies for helping your child build resilience after divorce and promote positive emotional health.

Strategy for Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Health and Well-Being after a Divorce

Around 80% of divorced children adapt smoothly and have no long-term negative effects on their academics, social adjustment, or mental health. Children who grow up in households with much squabbling, antagonism, and dissatisfaction are more likely to develop mental health illnesses and behavioral issues.

As a consequence, it is typical for youngsters to struggle with their emotions and behavior immediately after parental separation. Divorce may be a challenging experience for children, so it is imperative to concentrate on their mental health and well-being during this time. Encourage self-care, maintain a stable and supportive family environment, and create strong bonds with your kid. 

Self-care is critical for maintaining mental health and well-being, and encouraging children to engage in self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or writing may assist them in managing stress and anxiety. Positive coping skills and stress-reduction approaches may help kids build resilience and deal with difficult emotions.

Resilience in Children: Strategies to Strengthen Your Kids

Divorce may be a difficult event for children. Therefore, it is critical to help them build resilience to the upheaval. The capacity to recover from setbacks and adapt to new conditions is called resilience. Resilience is a talent that can be learned and improved over time, and parents may play a vital role in assisting their children in developing resilience.

One of the most effective strategies to boost children’s resilience is providing a stable and supportive environment. Children want safety and security, which parents may provide by keeping a regular schedule and creating a stable home environment. Even during upheaval and uncertainty, this may help them feel anchored and comfortable.

What Strategy Should You Use?

The strategy to assist children in building resilience is to help them create a positive outlook. This might include encouraging them to concentrate on their strengths and successes rather than their flaws and failings. Parents may also assist their children in developing a growth mindset by teaching them that setbacks and obstacles are chances for development and learning.

It is also critical to educate children about coping strategies to assist them in dealing with stress and worry. Teaching them relaxation methods such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga may help. It may also include teaching kids problem-solving techniques and encouraging them to seek assistance from trustworthy people such as parents, teachers, or counselors.

Parents may assist their children in developing resilience by modeling resilient behavior. This may include using healthy coping skills such as positive self-talk, exercise, and self-care. It may also involve exhibiting endurance in the face of difficulties and disappointments.

It takes time and works to develop resilience in children, but it is a necessary trait that may help them succeed in the face of hardship. Parents may help their children build the strength they need to handle the difficulties of divorce and beyond. This is done by providing a stable and supportive environment, teaching them coping strategies, and modeling resilient behavior.

Ways to Raise Happy, Resilient Kids after a Divorce

Divorce may be difficult, but raising happy, resilient children in the aftermath is possible. The idea is to concentrate on having a stable and supportive family environment that fosters positive emotional health and well-being. Here are some ideas for parenting resilient children after divorce:

  • 1. Concentrate on co-parenting: Co-parenting might be difficult, but collaborating is critical to provide a stable and supportive home environment for your children. This might include establishing regular norms and routines, talking freely and politely, and working together to make choices for your children’s well-being and interests.
  • 2. Promote open communication: Children must feel comfortable discussing their thoughts and concerns with their parents. Open communication may help youngsters feel supported and heard, promoting their emotional health and well-being.
  • 3. Encourage healthy connections: Children need positive relationships with both their parents and other adults, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends. These interactions give children additional sources of support and guidance, which can help them grow resilience.
  • 4. Give chances for fun and play: Children need opportunities for joy and play, even during stress and uncertainty. Offering children a chance to have fun and space may help them feel joyful and engaged, promoting their emotional health and well-being.
  • 5. Get help: Divorce may be a complicated process for parents. Therefore it is critical to seek help when required. Talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or asking friends and family for assistance may help.

Things Not to Say to a Child in Divorce

Divorce may be a challenging experience for children; therefore, it is crucial to be cautious of what you say to them at this time. These are some things not to speak to a divorced child:

  • 1. “It’s all your fault”: Holding your child responsible for the divorce may be devastating, leading to guilt and humiliation. Avoid blaming children for the divorce and instead concentrate on building a supportive and stable family environment.
  • 2. “Your other parent is a nasty person”: Negative comments about the other parent may harm children and cause uncertainty and worry. It is critical to avoid disparaging the other parent instead of concentrating on co-parenting and fostering a healthy home environment.
  • 3. “I wish things had been different”: Expressing regret or grief about the divorce may be difficult for children to hear, leading to emotions of fear and uncertainty and concentrating on maintaining a pleasant home environment and giving children the support and direction they need to flourish after a divorce is critical.
  • 4. “I don’t have time for you right now”: While divorce may be difficult for parents, it is critical to prioritize your children’s needs and offer them the support and attention they need. You must not ignore your children during this period and instead concentrate on providing a supportive and stable home environment.
  • 5. “You shouldn’t feel that way”: Validating children’s feelings may be very harmful, leading to uncertainty and fear. Validating children’s emotions and providing them with the support and direction they need to manage the obstacles of divorce is critical.

Conclusion: Building Child’s Resilience after Divorce

Parents may help their children develop resilience and flourish after divorce by concentrating on co-parenting, supporting open communication, establishing solid connections, offering chances for fun and play, and getting assistance when required.

You may help your children develop resilience and flourish after divorce by being attentive to what you say to them throughout the divorce. You may help your children by concentrating on self-care, development of coping skills, time for fun and play, accessing assistance, and providing a stable and supportive home environment.

At this time, it is a must to be patient and understanding. In addition, it is a must to offer your children the support and advice they need to manage divorce problems.

Blended Family and Step-Parenting Tips

Blended Family and Step-Parenting Tips

More than forty percent of all American families are blended families. At some point in their lives, most people may find themselves moving from a ‘blended’ state to a ‘traditional’ family setting.

In other words, they may find themselves part of a step or blended family.

Whether you are interested in becoming part of a step-family or you already are and you’re looking for some advice and information on how to navigate this unique situation, you’ve come to the right place.

Below, we’ve put together our top stepfamily and blended family tips for you to check out.

Set Realistic Expectations

Setting realistic expectations is crucial when it comes to blended family life. After a divorce, parents and children may already be dealing with feelings of loss and upheaval.

Adding a stepmom or stepfather to the mix can further complicate things. This is particularly the case if expectations are unrealistic.

Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment, resentment, and even conflict.

To set realistic expectations, parents, stepmoms, and stepfathers should communicate openly and honestly about their hopes and concerns. They should take the time to get to know each other and build trust.

This includes discussing important issues such as discipline, family traditions, and routines.

It is also important to have an open mind and be flexible. But you should still try to create clear boundaries and set expectations.

For example, a stepmom might expect to instantly bond with her stepchildren and have the same level of authority as their biological mother.

But this may not be realistic, particularly if the children are still dealing with the aftermath of their parent’s divorce.

Instead, the stepmom could set the expectation that building a strong relationship with the children will take time. She could also communicate with the biological mother to establish clear boundaries around parenting roles.

Be a Great Communicator

One of the best ways that you can be a great communicator is by using “I” statements.

“I” statements are a type of communication that focuses on expressing how you feel. It is a much better idea to do this than it is to place blame and pointing fingers.

By using “I” statements, you’ll be taking responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. This can help to prevent conflict in conversations.

You should structure “I” statements to begin with the word “I.” You’ll then need to follow with a specific feeling or emotion. This might include “I feel frustrated when…” or “I am concerned about…”.

Address Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up. But it can be a challenging issue for parents to navigate.

Addressing sibling rivalry is important for fostering a healthy and positive family environment.

One of the first steps in addressing sibling rivalry is to acknowledge it and talk about it openly. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s important to stay positive.

You should also emphasize the importance of treating each other with kindness and respect.

Determine the Household Rules

During the divorce process, or after a child custody evaluation, establishing clear and consistent household rules can help to create a stable environment for children.

When determining household rules, make sure to involve everyone in the conversation. This can include talking with your children about their needs and concerns.

You should try to work together to establish rules that are fair and appropriate for everyone in the family. By doing this, you will create a sense of ownership and accountability.

This will help to promote positive behavior and respect for the rules. You’ll also need to establish consequences for breaking the rules, and enforce those consequences consistently.

This can help create a sense of predictability and stability in your home.

Nurture Family Bonds

A strong family bond provides children with a sense of security and support. This will also promote positive social, emotional, and cognitive development.

One of the best ways to nurture family bonds is by prioritizing activities that foster meaningful connections. When you are creating a parenting plan, it’s a good idea to identify what these activities are.

One of the best ways to nurture family bonds is to spend time together as a family. This can include activities like family dinners, game nights, and outings to local parks.

By spending quality time together, you will create a sense of togetherness and closeness with those who you care about.

Parent Together and Not Separately

When parents work together, they will create a sense of unity within the family. Also, when parents work together, they can more effectively model positive behavior and problem-solving skills for their children.

One of the best ways to parent together is to establish a clear and consistent approach to parenting. This can include agreeing on rules and consequences for behavior and consistently enforcing those rules and consequences.

Another key aspect of parenting together is effective communication. You will need to be willing to listen to one another’s perspectives and concerns.

You will also need to commit yourselves to working together.

Blended Family and Step-Parenting Tips

It can be challenging to figure out how to be a great parent if you live in a blended family or if you are a step-parent.

This is why it is such a good idea to familiarize yourself with the top tips and tricks. Make sure to set clear expectations and to be a great communicator. You should also take action to address sibling rivalry.

Are you ready to start improving your family life? If so, 2houses is here to help you. Don’t hesitate to visit our Key Features page to get started today!

10 Tips for Separated Parents

10 tips separated parents

Divorce is one of the top five most stressful life events that people go through. Not only is it a stressful matter to endure, but the fallout continues when you try to handle your parenting matters apart from your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

You can make this entire process easier by making good decisions during the separation period.

These tips will help you manage your separation as parents so that you can divorce in peace while also coming up with long-term strategies for raising your kids.

1. Look at Each Other as Parents First

When you split from your spouse, you might have some grudges and resentment that you hold against them. It might take some time to heal and get over these issues.

Keep in mind the importance of your child having an involved mother or father, and look at them as a parent first. Having this level of grace and understanding will prevent you from holding things against them and will make communication for parenting decisions much easier while raising children.

2. Resolve to Have a Peaceful Divorce

Make sure that you also prioritize peace during the divorce process. Divorce is stressful on its own, and turning it into a battle makes it even more stressful than it has to be.

Compromise with your spouse and make it a cooperative divorce process.

3. Speak to a Family Mediator

Don’t wait to get the help of a professional that can help smooth things out for you and your spouse during your separation and divorce proceedings.

Get the help of a professional mediator that can help you communicate and create workable compromises. Leading with a mediator rather than a lawyer is important because a mediator is impartial and works for both of you.

4. Have Honest Conversations With Your Children

Prioritize your kids above all during this process. Open the floor for them to discuss how they feel about the divorce process. Listen without trying too hard to shape their perspective while reassuring them that this doesn’t change how both parents feel about them.

Become intentional about checking in with your child and discussing things with them so that this link remains strong once you’re raising them in two households.

5. Come Up With Parenting Strategies

The most important thing you can do during the process of divorce with children is create parenting strategies that you both can stick to. Consider everything from the child’s education, extracurricular activities, religion, friendship, and other details. Communicate with each other every step of the way, and formalize your parenting strategies as much as possible.

Having an ironclad parenting plan takes the ambiguity out of the situation and lets you both know how you contribute.

6. Set Your Home Up With Kids in Mind

Regardless of the custody arrangement, you need to make sure that your home is set up with kids in mind. Both parents should do their best to give their kids their own bedroom and areas where they can play, do their homework, and live life as a kid without a significant drop-off in either home.

It’ll be easier to have your time with your kids when the environment is set up for it.

7. Get Therapy and Healing

During the separation, make sure that you are also taking care of yourself. Divorce can take a psychological and emotional toll for many years to come. The best way through this is by seeking the help of a licensed therapist.

Book an appointment to talk to a therapist once a week for the foreseeable future. This is a safe place to unpack all aspects of the divorce and how you feel about it so that you can move forward and be the best individual and parent you can be.

Practice other forms of self-care as well to help with the healing process. Regularly exercising, eating clean foods, and taking care of yourself can help you more than anything else.

8. Document Things Regularly

Operate with your spouse in good faith, always give them a chance, and do your best to see their point of view. However, make sure that you’re also documenting aspects of your parental arrangement in case there are ever court matters that need to be hashed out.

It’s best to document these things as you go so that you’re not scrambling for evidence when you need it.

9. Handle Your Legal Matters

Your separation will also be more peaceful when you know that you’re properly handling your legal matters. Hire a family attorney that can answer all of your questions and lay the groundwork for your strategies.

From there, you can move forward with intention and handle business one step at a time.

10. Recognize That Things Aren’t Always Exactly 50/50

Adjust your definition of fairness as it pertains to raising your child in two different households. With separated families, fairness should involve what’s best for the child while also allowing both parents to contribute and get the time that they need and deserve.

However, life happens, and there will never be a precise 50/50 split with everything. Strive to be respectful and fair, speak your mind, and find workable solutions every step of the way.

Do What’s Best for Your Family

Parents going through a divorce need to use some strategies that will help them keep their families together.

2houses can help you when you’re trying to come up with parenting tips and strategies that will help you raise your family peacefully and productively. Contact us online