Cooking With Kids: 3 Simple Recipes to Try

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Getting kids involved with food preparation has tons of benefits. Cooking with kids helps them practice math, learn to love healthy foods and develop self-care skills that they’ll need someday. Plus, it gives you all a chance to spend quality time together.
Choosing recipes that will work for you and your kids depends on their ages, your kitchen setup and your family’s dietary restrictions. These simple recipe ideas are a good starting point.

Sweet Smoothies

Technically, of course, there’s no cooking involved with making smoothies. That’s what makes this is a perfect first project for little ones or kids who are new to the kitchen. Each child can choose and prep the ingredients for his or her smoothie. Offer a few base ingredients, like plain Greek yogurt or juice, plus a bunch of add-ins. Bananas, berries, peaches, mango, nut butters, kale, spinach, mint, tofu, avocado, milk, cinnamon and cocoa powder are all potential options.
Have kids do things like wash and cut fruit, measure ingredients and add them to the blender. Start with equal parts of your base ingredient and add-ins, add a handful of ice and make adjustments from there. An adult may need to operate the blender itself. Let kids taste the smoothie after each addition of a new ingredient. They’ll learn a lot about flavors and balance.

Crowd-Pleasing Pizzas

Making pizza dough from scratch takes hours from start to finish. If the family schedule allows, do it anyway. Homemade dough is simple to assemble and most yeast packages have a specific recipe. Kids can measure dry ingredients, mix yeast with water, then stir and knead the dough.
Of course, cooking with kids takes enough time as it is. If you want, opt for a store-bought crust, or use naan or packaged bread dough. Kids can make their own tomato sauce using canned tomatoes, onions, garlic, a little tomato paste and seasonings including oregano, salt and pepper. Simmer the sauce for at least 20 minutes or until the onions are soft.
Finally, let kids prepare their own pizzas. They can roll the dough, spread the sauce, sprinkle on shredded cheese and pick their own vegetable toppings. In most ovens, cooking a pizza until the cheese is browned only takes about 15 minutes.

Easy Grilled Skewers

Cooking with kids shouldn’t take hours or they’ll get restless. Having them make their own kebabs or skewers is a quick way to get kids fed. They can play with their food, and each kid can customize a meal that he or she will actually eat.
Cut chicken or another meat into ice-cube-size chunks. Cut hearty vegetables like peppers, onions, zucchini and sweet potato into chunks of the same size. Whole cherry tomatoes work too. Let kids season the ingredients. Just salt and pepper might be enough for one kid’s tastes; another might prefer to rub meat with a spicy marinade or a sticky soy sauce glaze.
Next, let kids push the pieces onto simple wooden or metal skewers. You or another adult should handle the actual grilling, unless you’re cooking with an older teen. Simply cook the skewers on the grill or grill pan, turning each skewer every few minutes to cook all sides. Once the meat is cooked to the safe level of doneness, they’re ready to eat.
Kids can complete a meal of grilled skewers by mixing up simple dipping sauces. Try homemade ranch made with Greek yogurt, a sweet-and-sour honey lime dip or a smooth cheese sauce with melted cheddar.
Alternately, use this prep idea to entice kids to eat more fruit. Have them push chunks of pineapple, peach and banana chunks onto their skewers. Grill them until they’re lightly browned and have kids make a dipping sauce of yogurt, orange juice and a pinch of brown sugar.

Travel Plans for Separated Parents: Navigating Holidays and Joint Custody

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Of all the potential conflicts that co-parents have to contend with, vacation and travel schedules are one of the trickiest. You might have a dream trip in mind – but if the other parent objects to the timing and itinerary, someone’s going to end up being unhappy. Co-parents who don’t handle this conflict well risk making the kids miserable and missing out on incredible memories.

First: Consult the Experts

If you and your ex have a formal custody agreement, it’s essential to refer to it before finalizing any plans. Your specific agreement and the custody laws in your state and/or country will play a big role in determining what happens around holidays and joint custody. This is an important step not just because of the legal issues, but also because of the potential for conflict here. If the potential travel plans aren’t allowed, hearing that from an attorney or legal document might help keep the disappointed parent from blaming the other parent.

Next: Analyze Your Proposed Plans

Taking the kids for a two-month trip around the world would be a life-changing, unforgettable experience for all of you – but it would be unfair to the parent who normally has the kids every other week. When there’s some discord between you around holidays and joint custody, bringing your ex a reasonable proposal is critical. Taking the other parent’s feelings and schedule into account demonstrates respect and a willingness to work together.
Analyze your holiday plans from the other person’s perspective. For example, are you planning to spend a ton of money on an extravagant trip, while the other parent struggles to make ends meet? In that case, the ex might feel resentful or be nervous about the kids preferring time with the richer parent. Making a more modest plan might help win them over. Or, if you want to take the kids away for three weeks and you know your ex would miss them terribly, amend your proposal to two weeks.
Also consider what your co-parent will miss out on with the kids while they’re away. If you’ll be taking them during time that she would normally be with them, propose a way for her to make up that time. Be prepared to trade something that’s important to you, too. If you want to take the kids over one of your ex’s summer weeks, you might have to give up Christmas week to get permission.

Finally: Make an Appeal

Instead of approaching holiday scheduling braced for a fight, approach it like a friendly conversation. (That said, email works fine for this if you have a strained relationship!) Even if you already mentioned your holiday plans, go back to your co-parent now to have a conversation about details.
Lay out your entire holiday proposal. Provide an itinerary. If you made any modifications for your ex’s benefit, explain those too. Be sure to build safety and communication plans into your holiday proposal: provide emergency contact numbers, propose a daily video chat call, lay out rules you’ll enforce on the trip, and so forth.
If your co-parent is resistant to your plans, appeal to their sympathy by explaining why these holiday plans are important to you. If there are specific benefits for the kids, point those out too. Will they get a chance to practice a second language? Learn about another culture? Get to connect with a rarely-seen grandparent? Help your ex understand that these holiday plans aren’t a ploy to hurt them or take the kids away, but that they have real value for the kids.

Getting Along with Everyone in a Blended Family

Getting Along with Everyone in a Blended Family

Anyone can start a blended family. Actually getting everyone to blend is a bigger challenge.

When you become the spouse or partner of a parent, it’s entirely normal to feel a mix of emotions. You might be excited to have these kids in your life, and anxious about how to not step on the toes of their other parent. Maybe you’re worried about how to discipline the kids, or nervous they won’t get along with your family. Your top priority, though, is probably to form a loving and respectful relationship with the new kids in your life.

As one of the adults at the head of a new blended family, it’s up to you to nurture the relationships you have with your partner’s kids. A few simple strategies, and a lot of patience, will help you get there.

Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Kids need consistency and boundaries to feel safe and secure. Establishing boundaries will also protect you from having to make up rules and punishments on the fly, which creates tension.

First, talk to the other parent about the kind of household you want to create. Make a list of house rules that are important to both of you, and talk about what the consequences will be when someone breaks a rule. Next, bring the family together to talk about the rules. Give everyone a chance to talk. Ask kids to share the things they feel they need from you to feel safe and comfortable. Ideally, you’ll schedule regular family get-togethers so everyone has a chance to air any grievances rather than letting them fester.

Find Individual Bonding Experiences

To bring your entire blended family together, focus on strengthening the individual relationships between all of you. Find common activities or interests that you can share with each child. If one kid loves sports, buy season tickets for a local baseball or basketball team. If another is into reading, make a point to schedule weekly library trips for the two of you.

If you have kids of your own, encourage them to form individual relationships with their new step-siblings. Even if it’s just asking a pair of them to join you for a grocery-shopping trip, give them plenty of chances to spend one-on-one time together.

Find Time for Fun

Blending two households and establishing new dynamics is stressful! But if months go by and the kids don’t see you do anything but worry and talk about rules, they’re not going to be inclined to bond with you.

Find unexpected ways to inject some fun and laughter into your shared life. Announce a surprise beach trip one day, or decide that the first Saturday of every month will be a family fun day. Play silly board games and ask kids to show you their favorite funny movies.

Give Kids Some Space

Kids had a whole life with their parent before you arrived on the scene. Part of forming a bonded blended family is showing each other respect for your individual pasts. So be careful to allow plenty of space and time for kids and your partner to have together. Encourage them to have meals alone and to take trips by themselves, to show the kids that you’re not trying to wedge yourself into their relationship.

It’s also important to not expect too much, too soon. Hopefully the kids will grow to love and trust you, and each other, but you can’t rush those things. It might take years to establish a really close and loving relationship. That’s worth the wait.

A happy Christmas with separated parents

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Christmas is a special time for children and therefore for their parents too. This holiday, which traditionally involves the family unit, can be difficult for separated parents, especially when their children are not with them for Christmas. We have compiled a list of frequently asked questions by co-parents during the run-up to December 24 and solutions to some of them in order to revive the magic of Christmas for them in their own way.

Who will have custody of the children this year?

Divorced parents are often very fussy about compliance with childcare during the holiday season. To avoid a family crisis that would disturb children, it is better to update your  custody calendar  several months in advance.  Sandrine says: ”  My children will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with me and my family this year.   It alternates every year with my ex-husband and I think it is very suitable for everyone because nobody feels cheated “. In all cases, do not ask children to choose which parent they want to spend Christmas with as this would undermine their sense of loyalty towards the excluded parent.

What gift will I give to my daughter or my son?

After a separation, you may feel guilty towards your children, or jealous towards the former spouse. Subsequently in some families, there is a competition for who can give the most expensive gift for Christmas.  The relationship with the co-parent is not a competition  and the child can quickly understand the mechanism and  take advantage of this weakness  to get what he or she wants. David explains: “My ex-wife does not have the same financial means as me, which creates some tension with the approach of Christmas or birthdays.  After a few unfortunate episodes, we made an effort to consult each other before the holidays to prevent our daughter from being a witness to our differences.  Sometimes we offer a bigger, common gift.”

Should I invite my ex to the party for the benefit of my children?

Why not, if you still share some affection . But it should not raise false hopes.  A child can lose his bearings when his separated parents meet and give the impression of a family unit. Be careful too about the organizational nightmare that this can create with in step families: what about new family members and their children?

This is my first Christmas divorced with kids

Unconsciously or not, many separated parents are hit by nostalgia which can invade Christmas. Jean-François has become habituated to inviting his two teenagers to a restaurant with his new girlfriend: ” I found myself alone, desperate to organize a perfect Eve.  It quickly turned into a culinary fiasco. Since then, I reserve a good restaurant, and on Christmas Eve we go out”. Martine has made a clean sweep of her former life: “It reminded me too much of old memories.  I decided to change all the dishes, table decoration and especially the menu. Finish the game, and flash garlands”. Separation, it changes people. It is normal for family traditions to evolve to better match the new life of each. And if you feel better as well,  the children will be the ones to benefit.

This is my first Christmas divorced without my children

Separated parents agree that this is a difficult moment to go through. “After a few years, one tends to become experienced” says Sandra, who found tricks to not spend Christmas alone. ”  I made new friends who are mostly like me.  We take the opportunity to meet on Christmas Eve and have a good time without getting depressed.  I know my children are with their father so I do not let myself worry about them “. You have to reassure yourself: there will be other Christmases you’ll spend with the children and we have the whole year to spend with them. This is the moment to take care of yourself.

And you? Does this time of year particularly affect you after your separation? What are your experiences or your new Christmas traditions? Share your experiences here

Managing Life as a Single Parent after Divorce

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When a divorced couple has children, life can get very complicated. Each parent is now on their own and suddenly realize all of the small things they did not notice when they had the other parent to back them up. Parents of babies and toddlers are tested by late nights and early mornings, with no one to alternate sleep, feedings, changing, and difficult nights with. Mothers and fathers of school aged children have to handle the morning routine: getting the kids to school, meeting with teachers, and driving the kids to after-school activities, all on their own. Managing life after divorce as a parent is not easy, but life will get back to normal much faster if steps are taken to deal with the challenges, instead of just hoping for a solution.

Struggles of Single Parents

Going through a divorce and living with divorce are very complicated life events which statistics show that many people in this country go through. Below are the two main challenges for single parents:

Childcare

This can be tricky one when the other parent doesn’t want to play nice. Developing a set schedule, if at all possible, for visitations will make it a little easier to figure out childcare. After visitation is established, each parent needs to find their own sitters or agree on one childcare or babysitter for both schedules. Both parents should have their own backup in case help bails at the last moment. This will keep the other parent from having to cancel their own plans to watch the children.

Read more…
By Andrew Miller for familyblawg.com

Divorce With Kids: How Do You Explain It to Them?

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Perhaps one of the most challenging conversations you’ll have as a separating parent is with your children. Throughout their lives, you’ve made their wellbeing a priority. Coming to them with news of your breakup may be emotionally devastating. But regardless of how well you know your children, their reactions may still surprise you. Try to keep the conversation age-appropriate. Remind your children that their parents’ divorce does not mean the loss of their family.

Have the Conversation as a Family

Your children should all be part of the conversation. Try to sit down with your spouse and all of your kids at the same time to discuss the divorce. By presenting a united front with your spouse, you minimize tension and prevent feelings of resentment towards one parent or the other. You want to reassure your children the break up is not their fault and that they will remain loved. The feeling of togetherness of a group talk supports this idea that they are not losing the people closest to them.

Prepare Your Main Messages Beforehand

In the moment, you may forget to tell your children what they most need to hear. That’s why you and your spouse should jot down the key things you want to say. In part, this can be things such as, “we have tried to fix our problems, but it hasn’t worked,” “you will always be loved, now just in two houses instead of one,” “we are still a family even though we no longer live together” and “you didn’t do anything to cause this to happen.” You can introduce them to the 2houses site and explain how the family will remain connected.

Remain Aware of Your Child’s Concerns

The age of your children determines how they see the world. As a result, what worries them most will depend on their stage of development. A preschooler is still largely dependent on her parents and may need reassurance they will still be fed, cared for and played with. As kids get a bit older, they are more aware of their feelings. They may have important social connections outside the family, so they may be concerned about moving or going to a new school.

Listen Actively to Their Questions

The conversation should leave ample time for questions. You may have to encourage your children, whatever their age, to ask whatever is on their minds. These questions may provide greater insight into your children’s world and may bring up issues you have not yet resolved. Your children may ask anything from what caused the breakup to whether the siblings will still live together and where the pets will reside. Be honest, but don’t overwhelm children with too much information. Always circle back to key issues of support, comfort and reassurance regardless of the challenging questions.

Keep the Conversation Going

After you’ve told your children that you are going to divorce, there will be a transition period of many months. Depending on the circumstances, you and your spouse may continue to live together for a period of time or one spouse may move out immediately. It may be a while before co parenting schedules are finalized, placing additional uncertainty and stress on the children. Using 2houses, the family can start to work out the details of new schedules and find out what works for everyone.

Because these changes directly impact your children’s day-to-day lives, it’s essential to do what you can to maintain their stability. Make them feel safe and reassure them you are always available to talk about what’s going on. Together, you can ease into your new lives while helping your children maintain their emotional health. In an ideal world, all they need to worry about is growing up.

Co-parenting – 5 tips that make going back to school easier!

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The summer break is over and going back to school can be stressful not only for children, but for parents who are separated too! Here are a few tips to make going back to school as smooth as possible…

1) Establish a regular routine

Everyone relaxes during the summer break – we don’t eat at regular times, go to bed late and are free to do as we please. Sophie Dierick, a teacher and separated mom of 2 teenagers, is convinced that “a lot of stress and conflicts could be avoided if parents were stricter on kids going back to school”. The first piece of advice is therefore to progressively regulate your child’s routine by, for example, bringing bedtime forward by 15 minutes every day in the week before they go back to school and suggesting some intellectual activities (reading, puzzles, etc.).

2) Plan your back-to-school expenses

Review the situation with your co-parent: what does your child need in both houses? Are there any shared expenses? Can anything be reused? Think outside the box: going back to school isn’t just about buying school stationery, but also renewing bus passes, sorting their wardrobe, replacing old trainers and even budgeting an allowance for school dinners. Avoid peak times when planning your purchases or, better still, buy everything online! Don’t forget to discuss your respective expenses as well as your views on how these should be allocated.

3) Find an extracurricular activity

Extracurricular activities, such as plays, music, sports and scouting, are vital in helping a child build their self-confidence and channel their energy. Find out in advance about activities in your area that your son or daughter would like. Add any subscription fees and doctor’s visits for medical certificates to your shared custody schedule.

4) Put their mind at ease by keeping things tidy

A tidy and well-stocked desk can also motivate your child to get back into the school mindset! If your child is old enough for homework, it is important to show them that you want to help them work comfortably by setting up a quiet area, away from any distractions. Having a tidy backpack in class will also reassure them. Our teacher can’t stress this enough: “On the first day back at school, children need to have all the necessary supplies. If they don’t, they will slow down the group and this will scare them, especially the little ones.”

5) Update your diaries

Doctors, coaches, the parents of their (new) best friend… Have you added all those handy telephone numbers to your address book? A shared diary for separated parents means this information can be accessed stress-free at any time!

Do you have any other tips for making going back to school easy for your child and co-parent? Share them in our comments section!

©2013, 2houses the co-parenting facilitator.

Helping your child through a divorce

help your child through a divorce - 2houses

Thousands of kids experience the stress of divorce each year. How they’ll react depends on their age, personality, and the particular circumstances of the separation and divorce process.

Every divorce will have an effect on the kids involved — and many times the initial reaction is one of shock, sadness, frustration, anger, or worry. But kids can also come out of it better able to cope with stress, and many become more flexible, tolerant young adults.

The most important things that both parents can do to help kids through this difficult time are:

  • Keep visible conflict, heated discussions, and legal talk away from the kids.
  • Minimize the disruptions to kids’ daily routines.
  • Confine negativity and blame about each other to private therapy sessions or conversations with friends outside the home.
  • Keep each parent involved in the kids’ lives.

Most adults going through separation and divorce need support — from friends, professionals, clergy, and family. Don’t seek support from your kids, even if they seem to want you to.

Breaking the News

As soon as you’re certain of your plans, talk to your kids about your decision to live apart. Although there’s no easy way to break the news, if possible have both parents present for this conversation. It’s important to try to leave feelings of anger, guilt, or blame out of it. Practice how you’re going to manage telling your kids so you don’t become upset or angry during the talk.

Although the discussion about divorce should be tailored to a child’s age, maturity, and temperament, be sure to convey one basic message: What happened is between mom and dad and is not the kids’ fault. Most kids will feel they are to blame even after parents have said that they are not. So it’s vital for parents to keep providing this reassurance.

Tell your kids that sometimes adults change the way they love each other or can’t agree on things and so they have to live apart. But remind them that kids and parents are tied together for life, by birth or adoption. Parents and kids often don’t agree on things, but that is part of the circle of life — parents and kids don’t stop loving each other or get divorced from each other.

Give kids enough information to prepare them for the upcoming changes in their lives. Try to answer their questions as truthfully as possible. Remember that kids don’t need to know all the reasons behind a divorce (especially if it involves blaming the other parent). It’s enough for them just to understand what will change in their daily routine, and — just as important — what will not.

With younger kids, it’s best to keep it simple. You might say something like: “Mom and dad are going to live in different houses so they don’t fight so much, but we both love you very much.”

Older kids and teens may be more in tune with what parents have been going through, and may have more questions based on what they’ve overheard and picked up on from conversations and fights.

Handling Kids’ Reactions

Tell kids who are upset about the news that you recognize and care about their feelings and reassure them that all of their upset feelings are perfectly OK and understandable. You might say: “I know this is very upsetting for you. Can we try to think of something that would make you feel better?” or “We both love you and are sorry that we have to live apart.”

Not all kids react right away. Let yours know that’s OK too, and there will be other times to talk when they’re ready. Some kids try to please their parents by acting as if everything is fine, or try to avoid any difficult feelings by denying that they feel any anger or sadness at the news. Sometimes stress comes out in other ways — at school, or with friends, or in changes to their appetite, behavior or sleep patterns.

Whether your kids express fear, worry, or relief about your separation and divorce, they’ll want to know how their own day-to-day lives might change.

Read more on Kidshealth.org

21 Blogs Sharing Techniques to Help You Talk to Your Child About Severe Weather

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Severe weather is something that nearly every area of the country experiences, whether it’s a tornado, hurricane or a nor’easter. While these weather patterns can be unsettling, talking about what to do in the event that severe weather strikes and planning for how to handle it can help keep your family at ease. These 21 blog entries provide some guidance for talking to kids about severe weather without scaring them, preparing for severe weather and implementing practical tips you can use to keep your family safe.

Bad Weather Fears

According to Dr. Amador, psychologist, it’s important to discuss severe weather with your children to make sure they understand the truth about storms. When kids don’t know what to expect they tend to immediately start dreaming up the worst case scenario. Talking things through before they happen can help alleviate this so that everyone stays calm if and when severe weather strikes. These seven blog articles will help you talk to your kids about severe weather.

How to Prepare

Preparing for severe weather as a family can provide reassurance that you have a plan that will keep your family safe.  In these seven blog entries you will find suggestions on how to prepare for severe weather of all kinds.

Tips for Severe Weather

By going over safety tips with your child, he will get a better understanding of what positive things you can do to stay safe.  These tips may also prompt your child to ask questions. Be sure to answer his questions in a calm and reassuring manner.  The more prepared for a storm that you are, the better your child will be when severe weather strikes.

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Understanding Divorce: Insights from a Family Law Attorney

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Determining custody can be a difficult, technically challenging, and extremely emotional part of the divorce process.  This is especially true if the parents involved cannot agree, or if the case is particularly contentious.

It is helpful for parents to have a better grasp of the basics of custody and visitation so they can approach these issues with a clear understanding of the legal parameters, potential outcomes, and important considerations when attempting to reach an agreement with a co-parent or litigating a custody dispute.

What follows is a basic outline geared toward parents for that purpose.  Keep in mind that state laws vary and that this post is not intended as legal advice.  Before entering into any agreement, or becoming involved in litigation, you should consult with an attorney.

What does “custody” mean?

In our every-day use, custody refers to where a child resides.  While the legal system also uses the word custody to refer to the physical residence of a child, it may also refer to which of the parents has the legal right to make major decisions for the child’s welfare, health, and general well-being.  These decisions include significant choices for the child, such as religious upbringing, schooling, and major, non-emergency medical decisions.

What this means is that you may hear lawyers, judges and others in the legal system referring to “legal custody,” which is the decision-making authority, and “physical custody,” which is where the child resides.

How is physical custody determined?

Courts take into account many factors when reaching a decision about where a child should reside and what visitation arrangements should be made.  While these factors may vary from state to state and their individual importance will be decided on a case-by-case basis, the overriding concern of the court, and parents, is the best interests of the child or children in question.

It is also important to know that in many states, physical custody is divided into “sole,” or “primary” physical custody, meaning that one parent has the majority of time with the children; and “shared,” or “joint” physical custody, meaning that the parents share roughly equal time with the children.  These terms are also subject to interpretation and may carry with them important ramifications for other issues, such as child support, which are not discussed in this post.  Often, the physical custody determination in a given case will have a profound impact on the parties’ child support obligations.

Courts often look at the fitness of the parents when making their decision. This includes factors such as:

  • their character and reputation;
  • the desires of the parents and what previous agreements they have entered into;
  • the potential to maintain familial relationships;
  • the preferences of the children (particularly of those children who are older);
  • material opportunities affecting the future of the children;
  • the health, age and gender of the children;
  • the geographical distance between the parents’ homes, and the opportunities for visitation with either parent;
  • the length of any separation from one parent or the other; and
  • any previous voluntary abandonment of the children by one parent or the other.

As mentioned, these factors will be given different weight in every case, and there are others which a given set of circumstances may require consideration.  In every case, whether decided by a judge, a mediator, or by the parties themselves, the chief concern will be the best interests of the children.

How is legal custody determined?

Like physical custody, legal custody is typically determined by balancing a host of factors.  Again, the overriding concern of parents, lawyers and judges will be the best interests of the children in question.

The concept of legal custody can be understood as being “joint” or “sole.”  In a joint legal custody arrangement, the parties are expected to communicate with one another and reach a mutually agreed upon decision regarding the major issues affecting their children’s health, welfare and well-being.  If one parent is awarded sole legal custody, that parent has the sole right to make those decisions for the children.

There may also be a hybrid arrangement of joint and sole custody, wherein one party is awarded tie-breaking authority. This would matter in the event that the parents cannot reach a decision jointly, after they have discussed a decision for the child but still do not agree.

Again, legal custody refers to the authority to make decisions on behalf of the child which pertain to significant life events, like where the child attends school, their religious training, and similar decisions, not day-to-day questions of parental authority.

Courts typically consider the following factors when determining legal custody:

  • the capacity of the parents to communicate with one another;
  • the willingness of the parents to share legal custody;
  • the fitness of each parent;
  • the children’s preference;
  • the potential disruption to the social or school life of the children;
  • proximity of the parent’s homes;
  • the demands of each parent’s employment;
  • the age and number of children;
  • the sincerity of each parent’s request for legal custody;
  • the financial status of each parent; and
  • the impact on state or other assistance.

As with the physical custody factors, specific cases will call for individual evaluations of each of these, and potentially other, factors.

As you can see, many of the factors used to determine legal or physical custody overlap.  This is because these concepts, while separate, are often linked, both in the way we think of them and the way that a court, or the parents themselves, may reach a determination of where a child will reside and who will have decision-making authority.

For instance, if one parent is awarded primary physical custody, and therefore have the children residing with them for the majority of the time, it may be impractical to award the other parent sole legal custody, because those decisions regarding the child’s religious upbringing and schooling may potentially impact the child’s daily schedule and where he or she may need to be transported.

The best interests of the children

In every case, the focus of any determination of custody, physical or legal, is going to be what is best for the children involved.  Each of the considerations mentioned above, and others which may be important to any given set of circumstances, will always be examined through the lens of what will best serve the children.

While custody disputes are often emotionally trying cases, with an understanding of the considerations involved and keeping in mind that the children’s best interests will always be the paramount concern of the legal system, parents can work together or with their legal representatives for the best outcome for their children.

About the Author

Benjamin Marcoux is a family law attorney at Houlon Bergman, Finci, Levenstein, & Skok.

He specializes in civil litigation, collaborative law, wills, and probate and has been selected as a Super Lawyers Rising Star in both 2012 and 2013.

Connect with Benjamin Marcoux on Google+ or LinkedIn.