Category: Co-parenting

Life is busy, even at the best of times. During separation and divorce, it can become hectic, stressful and it is very easy to become overwhelmed with tasks that used to be considered easy. Trying to co-parent in separate homes can lead to more confusion, especially if there are tensions between your ex-partner and yourself. However, even with tensions, there are still ways that families can co-parent effectively to help lower those tensions while providing stability for their children. 

And, of course, the key to that effective co-parenting is through having the right tools. 2houses is an app that makes co-parenting easy, lowers tensions and creates that stability your children need. There are countless benefits and we are going to go through some of the major ones the app offers.

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #1: User Intuitive

First, before we even get into the benefits of the app for your family, let’s start by looking at the app itself. 2houses was designed in 2011 by a divorced father in an attempt to communicate and organize with his ex-partner. His goal was to create a tool that improved communication and the everyday life of his son before realizing that the app was amazing for all families working through the process of separation and divorce. 

With a better day to day life with less tension, the app delivers everything parents need to raise children between 2houses.  Some of the features, which can be accessed on computer and mobile device are:

1. Calendar: One of the key features, the app has a calendar that is colour coordinated and can be synced to other platforms, such as Google Calendar. It is easy to use and parents can use it for both scheduling and communication. Care arrangements, appointments and events can be scheduled in as can requests for changes to those arrangements, such as holidays. When requests are made, the other parent is alerted and can send messages, accept or deny the request.
2. Albums: While there is a journal feature, which we will look at next, 2Houses also has photo albums built right into the program so both parents can access photos of their children. This is great for events, such as a soccer game, that one parent can’t attend. They can easily access the photos of the event through the app’s album. 
3. Journal: Think of social media but all of it is 100% private and shared just between co-parents. Information, photos, videos, documents and anything important regarding your children can be placed in the journal for both parents to access. 
4. Contacts and Information Bank: Another feature, the information bank stores and organizes important information such as contact details of schools, friends and doctors, etc. as well as medical information and even the size of the kids’ clothing.
5. Documents: Finally, there is a section on the app that allows the storage of important documents that both parents can share. This can include birth certificates, passports and parenting agreements. 

Having everything easy to access means that communication is easier and parents can focus on the important issues. Co-parents have everything they need to make life easier for their kids as they adjust to living in two households.

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #2: Child Friendly

The next benefit of 2houses is that it is very child friendly. Remember that it is user intuitive and that was designed for communication. While we often focus on the communication between parents, it is important to open up communication with the kids so they can understand what is happening. 

2houses allows for that in one simple way. Kids can be added to the platform and can look at the calendar and schedule to see when things are happening and who they will be staying with. They’ll also be able to send journal entries and photos with their parents when they aren’t with them. This connection builds a bond of trust for the child and the stability of knowing a schedule will aid them as they navigate through the emotional impact of separation and divorce.

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #2: Reduces Confusion

One of the most common problems that arise with co-parenting is confusion. This can be through missed messages, forgetting to remind the other parent of an event or not remembering to update when there is a change in schedules. Confusion can lead to other emotions and can cause underlying tensions that parents don’t want their kids to pick up on.

A huge benefit of the 2houses app is that it reduces confusion. As long as both parents are using the app, there won’t be any missed notifications regarding activities, changes in care plans and so on. Parents will know when things are happening and everything will be accessible if there is an emergency. Less confusion means less stress for everyone, including the kids. 

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #4: Opens Up Communication

A breakdown of communication is something that can happen during separation and divorce—often because there are other tensions and emotions at play. However, when it comes to co-parenting, communication is very important for everyone involved, especially for the kids.

The 2houses app allows for parents to communicate even when they are not communicating verbally. The app is a neutral third party and keeps kids from being messengers of information. Anything important that needs to be communicated can be shared on the app and, many times, having this neutral option for communication can open up co-parenting in surprising ways. 

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #5: Allows for Involvement

Finally, involvement is an important benefit of 2houses. Parents can stay involved with their kids whether they are at home or at their other parent’s house. They can see what is going on, work out arrangements to be at those big events and they can keep up with their obligations in an organized way. We all want to be involved with our kids and having an app that makes it automatic and simple provides the best options throughout co-parenting. 

As you can see, there are many different benefits to using a co-parenting app and 2houses is unique in that it was created by someone facing the same obstacles of co-parenting effectively. The creator knew the challenges and the app is designed to overcome those challenges…which is the biggest benefit of them all. 

Introduction

Divorcing can be an emotionally challenging experience for both parents and children. While it is appropriate to acknowledge the pain and grief that comes with divorce, it is also imperative to focus on helping your child build resilience in moving forward.

According to the National Institute for Health Statistics, 10 million children (14% of the population) live in divorced or separated households. By understanding your child’s unique needs, you can create a supportive environment that encourages healthy emotional development and well-being.

Continue reading about strategies for helping your child build resilience after divorce and promote positive emotional health.

Strategy for Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Health and Well-Being after a Divorce

Around 80% of divorced children adapt smoothly and have no long-term negative effects on their academics, social adjustment, or mental health. Children who grow up in households with much squabbling, antagonism, and dissatisfaction are more likely to develop mental health illnesses and behavioral issues.

As a consequence, it is typical for youngsters to struggle with their emotions and behavior immediately after parental separation. Divorce may be a challenging experience for children, so it is imperative to concentrate on their mental health and well-being during this time. Encourage self-care, maintain a stable and supportive family environment, and create strong bonds with your kid. 

Self-care is critical for maintaining mental health and well-being, and encouraging children to engage in self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or writing may assist them in managing stress and anxiety. Positive coping skills and stress-reduction approaches may help kids build resilience and deal with difficult emotions.

Resilience in Children: Strategies to Strengthen Your Kids

Divorce may be a difficult event for children. Therefore, it is critical to help them build resilience to the upheaval. The capacity to recover from setbacks and adapt to new conditions is called resilience. Resilience is a talent that can be learned and improved over time, and parents may play a vital role in assisting their children in developing resilience.

One of the most effective strategies to boost children’s resilience is providing a stable and supportive environment. Children want safety and security, which parents may provide by keeping a regular schedule and creating a stable home environment. Even during upheaval and uncertainty, this may help them feel anchored and comfortable.

What Strategy Should You Use?

The strategy to assist children in building resilience is to help them create a positive outlook. This might include encouraging them to concentrate on their strengths and successes rather than their flaws and failings. Parents may also assist their children in developing a growth mindset by teaching them that setbacks and obstacles are chances for development and learning.

It is also critical to educate children about coping strategies to assist them in dealing with stress and worry. Teaching them relaxation methods such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga may help. It may also include teaching kids problem-solving techniques and encouraging them to seek assistance from trustworthy people such as parents, teachers, or counselors.

Parents may assist their children in developing resilience by modeling resilient behavior. This may include using healthy coping skills such as positive self-talk, exercise, and self-care. It may also involve exhibiting endurance in the face of difficulties and disappointments.

It takes time and works to develop resilience in children, but it is a necessary trait that may help them succeed in the face of hardship. Parents may help their children build the strength they need to handle the difficulties of divorce and beyond. This is done by providing a stable and supportive environment, teaching them coping strategies, and modeling resilient behavior.

Ways to Raise Happy, Resilient Kids after a Divorce

Divorce may be difficult, but raising happy, resilient children in the aftermath is possible. The idea is to concentrate on having a stable and supportive family environment that fosters positive emotional health and well-being. Here are some ideas for parenting resilient children after divorce:

• 1. Concentrate on co-parenting: Co-parenting might be difficult, but collaborating is critical to provide a stable and supportive home environment for your children. This might include establishing regular norms and routines, talking freely and politely, and working together to make choices for your children’s well-being and interests.
• 2. Promote open communication: Children must feel comfortable discussing their thoughts and concerns with their parents. Open communication may help youngsters feel supported and heard, promoting their emotional health and well-being.
• 3. Encourage healthy connections: Children need positive relationships with both their parents and other adults, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends. These interactions give children additional sources of support and guidance, which can help them grow resilience.
• 4. Give chances for fun and play: Children need opportunities for joy and play, even during stress and uncertainty. Offering children a chance to have fun and space may help them feel joyful and engaged, promoting their emotional health and well-being.
• 5. Get help: Divorce may be a complicated process for parents. Therefore it is critical to seek help when required. Talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or asking friends and family for assistance may help.

Things Not to Say to a Child in Divorce

Divorce may be a challenging experience for children; therefore, it is crucial to be cautious of what you say to them at this time. These are some things not to speak to a divorced child:

• 1. “It’s all your fault”: Holding your child responsible for the divorce may be devastating, leading to guilt and humiliation. Avoid blaming children for the divorce and instead concentrate on building a supportive and stable family environment.
• 2. “Your other parent is a nasty person”: Negative comments about the other parent may harm children and cause uncertainty and worry. It is critical to avoid disparaging the other parent instead of concentrating on co-parenting and fostering a healthy home environment.
• 3. “I wish things had been different”: Expressing regret or grief about the divorce may be difficult for children to hear, leading to emotions of fear and uncertainty and concentrating on maintaining a pleasant home environment and giving children the support and direction they need to flourish after a divorce is critical.
• 4. “I don’t have time for you right now”: While divorce may be difficult for parents, it is critical to prioritize your children’s needs and offer them the support and attention they need. You must not ignore your children during this period and instead concentrate on providing a supportive and stable home environment.
• 5. “You shouldn’t feel that way”: Validating children’s feelings may be very harmful, leading to uncertainty and fear. Validating children’s emotions and providing them with the support and direction they need to manage the obstacles of divorce is critical.

Conclusion: Building Child’s Resilience after Divorce

Parents may help their children develop resilience and flourish after divorce by concentrating on co-parenting, supporting open communication, establishing solid connections, offering chances for fun and play, and getting assistance when required.

You may help your children develop resilience and flourish after divorce by being attentive to what you say to them throughout the divorce. You may help your children by concentrating on self-care, development of coping skills, time for fun and play, accessing assistance, and providing a stable and supportive home environment.

At this time, it is a must to be patient and understanding. In addition, it is a must to offer your children the support and advice they need to manage divorce problems.

More than forty percent of all American families are blended families. At some point in their lives, most people may find themselves moving from a ‘blended’ state to a ‘traditional’ family setting.

In other words, they may find themselves part of a step or blended family.

Whether you are interested in becoming part of a step-family or you already are and you’re looking for some advice and information on how to navigate this unique situation, you’ve come to the right place.

Below, we’ve put together our top stepfamily and blended family tips for you to check out.

Set Realistic Expectations

Setting realistic expectations is crucial when it comes to blended family life. After a divorce, parents and children may already be dealing with feelings of loss and upheaval.

Adding a stepmom or stepfather to the mix can further complicate things. This is particularly the case if expectations are unrealistic.

Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment, resentment, and even conflict.

To set realistic expectations, parents, stepmoms, and stepfathers should communicate openly and honestly about their hopes and concerns. They should take the time to get to know each other and build trust.

This includes discussing important issues such as discipline, family traditions, and routines.

It is also important to have an open mind and be flexible. But you should still try to create clear boundaries and set expectations.

For example, a stepmom might expect to instantly bond with her stepchildren and have the same level of authority as their biological mother.

But this may not be realistic, particularly if the children are still dealing with the aftermath of their parent’s divorce.

Instead, the stepmom could set the expectation that building a strong relationship with the children will take time. She could also communicate with the biological mother to establish clear boundaries around parenting roles.

Be a Great Communicator

One of the best ways that you can be a great communicator is by using “I” statements.

“I” statements are a type of communication that focuses on expressing how you feel. It is a much better idea to do this than it is to place blame and pointing fingers.

By using “I” statements, you’ll be taking responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. This can help to prevent conflict in conversations.

You should structure “I” statements to begin with the word “I.” You’ll then need to follow with a specific feeling or emotion. This might include “I feel frustrated when…” or “I am concerned about…”.

Address Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up. But it can be a challenging issue for parents to navigate.

Addressing sibling rivalry is important for fostering a healthy and positive family environment.

One of the first steps in addressing sibling rivalry is to acknowledge it and talk about it openly. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s important to stay positive.

You should also emphasize the importance of treating each other with kindness and respect.

Determine the Household Rules

During the divorce process, or after a child custody evaluation, establishing clear and consistent household rules can help to create a stable environment for children.

When determining household rules, make sure to involve everyone in the conversation. This can include talking with your children about their needs and concerns.

You should try to work together to establish rules that are fair and appropriate for everyone in the family. By doing this, you will create a sense of ownership and accountability.

This will help to promote positive behavior and respect for the rules. You’ll also need to establish consequences for breaking the rules, and enforce those consequences consistently.

This can help create a sense of predictability and stability in your home.

Nurture Family Bonds

A strong family bond provides children with a sense of security and support. This will also promote positive social, emotional, and cognitive development.

One of the best ways to nurture family bonds is by prioritizing activities that foster meaningful connections. When you are creating a parenting plan, it’s a good idea to identify what these activities are.

One of the best ways to nurture family bonds is to spend time together as a family. This can include activities like family dinners, game nights, and outings to local parks.

By spending quality time together, you will create a sense of togetherness and closeness with those who you care about.

Parent Together and Not Separately

When parents work together, they will create a sense of unity within the family. Also, when parents work together, they can more effectively model positive behavior and problem-solving skills for their children.

One of the best ways to parent together is to establish a clear and consistent approach to parenting. This can include agreeing on rules and consequences for behavior and consistently enforcing those rules and consequences.

Another key aspect of parenting together is effective communication. You will need to be willing to listen to one another’s perspectives and concerns.

You will also need to commit yourselves to working together.

Blended Family and Step-Parenting Tips

It can be challenging to figure out how to be a great parent if you live in a blended family or if you are a step-parent.

This is why it is such a good idea to familiarize yourself with the top tips and tricks. Make sure to set clear expectations and to be a great communicator. You should also take action to address sibling rivalry.

Are you ready to start improving your family life? If so, 2houses is here to help you. Don’t hesitate to visit our Key Features page to get started today!

Divorce is one of the top five most stressful life events that people go through. Not only is it a stressful matter to endure, but the fallout continues when you try to handle your parenting matters apart from your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

You can make this entire process easier by making good decisions during the separation period.

These tips will help you manage your separation as parents so that you can divorce in peace while also coming up with long-term strategies for raising your kids.

1. Look at Each Other as Parents First

When you split from your spouse, you might have some grudges and resentment that you hold against them. It might take some time to heal and get over these issues.

Keep in mind the importance of your child having an involved mother or father, and look at them as a parent first. Having this level of grace and understanding will prevent you from holding things against them and will make communication for parenting decisions much easier while raising children.

2. Resolve to Have a Peaceful Divorce

Make sure that you also prioritize peace during the divorce process. Divorce is stressful on its own, and turning it into a battle makes it even more stressful than it has to be.

Compromise with your spouse and make it a cooperative divorce process.

3. Speak to a Family Mediator

Don’t wait to get the help of a professional that can help smooth things out for you and your spouse during your separation and divorce proceedings.

Get the help of a professional mediator that can help you communicate and create workable compromises. Leading with a mediator rather than a lawyer is important because a mediator is impartial and works for both of you.

4. Have Honest Conversations With Your Children

Prioritize your kids above all during this process. Open the floor for them to discuss how they feel about the divorce process. Listen without trying too hard to shape their perspective while reassuring them that this doesn’t change how both parents feel about them.

Become intentional about checking in with your child and discussing things with them so that this link remains strong once you’re raising them in two households.

5. Come Up With Parenting Strategies

The most important thing you can do during the process of divorce with children is create parenting strategies that you both can stick to. Consider everything from the child’s education, extracurricular activities, religion, friendship, and other details. Communicate with each other every step of the way, and formalize your parenting strategies as much as possible.

Having an ironclad parenting plan takes the ambiguity out of the situation and lets you both know how you contribute.

6. Set Your Home Up With Kids in Mind

Regardless of the custody arrangement, you need to make sure that your home is set up with kids in mind. Both parents should do their best to give their kids their own bedroom and areas where they can play, do their homework, and live life as a kid without a significant drop-off in either home.

It’ll be easier to have your time with your kids when the environment is set up for it.

7. Get Therapy and Healing

During the separation, make sure that you are also taking care of yourself. Divorce can take a psychological and emotional toll for many years to come. The best way through this is by seeking the help of a licensed therapist.

Book an appointment to talk to a therapist once a week for the foreseeable future. This is a safe place to unpack all aspects of the divorce and how you feel about it so that you can move forward and be the best individual and parent you can be.

Practice other forms of self-care as well to help with the healing process. Regularly exercising, eating clean foods, and taking care of yourself can help you more than anything else.

8. Document Things Regularly

Operate with your spouse in good faith, always give them a chance, and do your best to see their point of view. However, make sure that you’re also documenting aspects of your parental arrangement in case there are ever court matters that need to be hashed out.

It’s best to document these things as you go so that you’re not scrambling for evidence when you need it.

9. Handle Your Legal Matters

Your separation will also be more peaceful when you know that you’re properly handling your legal matters. Hire a family attorney that can answer all of your questions and lay the groundwork for your strategies.

From there, you can move forward with intention and handle business one step at a time.

10. Recognize That Things Aren’t Always Exactly 50/50

Adjust your definition of fairness as it pertains to raising your child in two different households. With separated families, fairness should involve what’s best for the child while also allowing both parents to contribute and get the time that they need and deserve.

However, life happens, and there will never be a precise 50/50 split with everything. Strive to be respectful and fair, speak your mind, and find workable solutions every step of the way.

Do What’s Best for Your Family

Parents going through a divorce need to use some strategies that will help them keep their families together.

2houses can help you when you’re trying to come up with parenting tips and strategies that will help you raise your family peacefully and productively. Contact us online

If you’re a married person who thinks that your marriage might be over, you’re not alone. Nearly 38% of marriages end in divorce.

The bright side is that this means you have resources that can help you get through even the toughest part of the divorce process. For most people, the hardest part is figuring out how to parent your kids in two different households.

Read on to get some divorce coparenting tips that will help you out.

How Does Divorce Affect Children?

Divorce takes a significant emotional toll on kids in many cases. Babies learn about the world through their parents and their household, and this foundation solidifies as kids get older and mature into adults.

When that foundation is fractured, it’s natural that a child’s sense of security and wholeness might be threatened. This can have psychological and emotional effects well throughout childhood and beyond.

Studies show that teenagers from divorced households are three times more likely to need mental health counseling. Some other ways that divorce takes a toll on children includes:

• Struggling with school grades and performance
• Are more likely to act out with their behavior
• A stronger likelihood of substance abuse
• Higher dropout rate
• Difficulty in romantic and interpersonal relationships

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get divorced if there’s no fixing your marriage. However, consider this potential toll as you and your soon-to-be ex figure out strategies for raising your children post-marriage.

What Is Divorce Coparenting?

Divorce coparenting is the best-case scenario if you’d like to get a clean split from each other while still doing what’s best for your kids. With co-parenting, you get to go through the divorce process cooperatively and create solutions that will help you do what’s best for your children.

There are some helpful steps you can follow to create the ideal coparenting relationship and agreements.

Get Divorce Mediation

The first thing you should do is agree to sit down with professional mediators. Mediators are impartial professionals that can help the two of you negotiate and speak your mind without making the process contentious.

Working with professional mediators starts your divorce process with cooperation in mind and opens lines of communication. Going to mediation makes it easier for you two to come to agreements without letting squabbles get in the way.

Consult With an Attorney

Though cooperation is the name of the game, you still owe it to yourself to get sound legal advice. A divorce attorney will sit down and discuss the circumstances of your marriage and divorce. During the consultation, the lawyer will ask your goals for the divorce, and will talk about your assets and whether you have a prenup.

Once you hire a lawyer, they’ll also provide you with advice on how to move forward. Perhaps most importantly, your attorney will advise you so that you don’t make costly legal mistakes.

Come to Terms on the Most Important Things

Once you know that you can openly speak to your spouse, treat your conversations in a business-like fashion. Start hashing out the most important details of parenthood, such as child support, child custody arrangements, visitation, and other issues.

You’ll need to work them into an agreement that you can put before the judge, so get as detailed as possible. Having these discussions on your own is more productive and less painful than deciding everything piece by piece through several tense hearings.

When you create your agreement outside of court, the rest is a formality.

Discuss Your Family Vision

Take time to also discuss how you want to move forward as a family in a holistic sense. Talk about things like your kids’ activities, where they’ll attend school, religious beliefs, and other important matters.

Don’t be afraid to have the hard conversations, and never assume you’re on the same page about things unless they’re verbalized. Getting a divorce is only the beginning – you’ll need to get comfortable having these conversations for as long as you’re raising your children together and beyond.

The sooner you can get comfortable and develop a rapport, the more productive these conversations will be over time.

Take Care of Your Personal Health

Ending your marriage is hard, so do everything you can to take care of yourself. It can take a toll on your stress, health and emotions, so practice self-care to the best of your ability.

Make sure that you get sleep, eat healthy, and exercise regularly. Avoiding unhealthy habits and promoting healthy ones produces positive endorphins that can ease stress, anxiety, and depression.

You can also get divorce help in the form of mental health professionals. They will help you unpack your emotions and work through them so that you can heal and move forward. Don’t rush back into the dating market, and take as much time as you need.

Embrace your hobbies and find meaning in your work. The better you take care of yourself, the easier it’ll be for you to remain active in the divorce process and coparenting.

Work Through the Divorce Process

Divorce coparenting can be a difference-maker when applied correctly. The best thing this does is keep the temperature down. When emotions are low and not contentious, you’re more likely to get a quality outcome. This is necessary for everyone involved, and perhaps your kids will benefit most.

2houses can help you when you’re interested in strategies that can help you get through your divorce. To learn more, contact us on our site.

Maintaining a healthy marriage is consistent work, especially when children are involved. It is an intimate, frustrating, fulfilling, and often overwhelming undertaking all at the same time. Yet, for the service men and women of the US military, it is often a breaking point.

It’s no secret that military personal experience some of the highest rates of divorce and separation in the country. A result of the incredible toll active military service can have on the private lives of its servicemen and women.

Yet, this phenomenon is not without its understanding. Today we’ll be exploring the common causes of military divorce, as well as the effects military divorce can have on your family. To provide you with the knowledge and support you need to navigate this difficult time.

The Common Causes of Military Divorce

It’s important to quantify that there is nothing inherently different about a military marriage and any other marriage. They can fall apart in all the same ways as each other, with nothing to do with the military at all.

We, however, will be unpacking many of the studied reasons that specifically military divorces occur. Causing them to be some of the highest divorce rates in the country.

Long Deployments

Perhaps the most obvious culprit is the deployments. Soldiers can be stationed for months, even years, at a time before returning home. This puts unimaginable strain on a marriage, with long bouts of loneliness.

In addition to that loneliness, studies have shown that couples often struggle to readjust after deployment. Creating an environment that fosters conflict, discomfort, and eventual emotional isolation.

Domestic Violence

Whether we like to admit it or not, statistics don’t lie. Service members of the US military have a higher-than-average rate of domestic violence, a trend that matches other high-stress occupations. This plays a large role in the high rate of divorces within the armed services.

A study conducted by the University of Florida showed that domestic violence was particularly prevalent within couples where a service member recently left the service.

Untreated Mental Health Problems

Tragically, mental health whilst being much more understood and treatable these days go staggeringly undertreated in the armed services. This is despite an honest effort by the US military to offer robust mental health treatment for their servicemen and women.

Service members can suffer from PTSD, violent outbursts, depression, anxiety, and much more. These issues, if left untreated, can often drive a wedge between couples.

Adultery

Whilst cheating on your partner is never acceptable, it is somewhat understandable for its common presence in military couples. With long bouts of loneliness, uncertainty, and doubt, a perfect recipe for adultery is made.

Studies have shown that any couple who spends a significant amount of time away from each other repeatedly, in the case of months to years, has a higher rate of adultery. This fact holds for military couples.

Exploring The Effects of Military Divorce on Children

A military divorce can have a wide range of lasting effects on your children. Many of these are typical for any divorce but often made worse by an absent deployed serviceman or woman. Let’s break down some of the most common effects, in a broad-stroke sense.

If you would like to read about these effects in more detail, you can read our detailed write-up, or check our blog for a variety of topics related to this complex subject.

Higher Rate of Mental Illness

Studies have shown that children of divorced parents exhibit higher rates of mental illness later in life. These mental illnesses can range from depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and eating disorders, as well as a wide range of other conditions.

Within the context of a military divorce, your child will be feeling even further isolated from one of their parents. This loneliness, mixed with the confusion all children have about divorce, and the infrequent nature of one parent’s presence in the child’s life, is often identified as starting point for these issues.

Sudden Behavioral Shift

In the short term, your child will likely experience a foundational shift in their behavior. It is one of the most common effects of military divorce and can have lasting negative impacts on a child’s social skills, mental health, and more.

These effects include, but are not limited to:

• Sudden destructive behavior,
• Arguing,
• Shouting, temper problems, or tantrums,
• Lashing out physically,
• Being quiet, not wanting to be around others,
• Crying.

Housing Instability

One of the more unique effects that face children of military divorce is housing instability. Whilst one parent may be consistently home, a military partner will likely be away for months to years at a time. Servicemen and women are also highly likely to be deployed overseas, sometimes for a large portion of their military career.

For children, this will often feel like losing a parent completely. Unlike most other divorces, where both parents will be present in the child’s life, military divorces can force one parent to be absent from their child’s life for longer than is healthy.

Children will experience feelings of rejection, loneliness, and even resentment toward their more present parent.

Insomnia

For decades studies into insomnia have underlined the connection between children of divorce and insomnia later in life. Over half of insomnia patients express that their difficulty sleeping began when they were young. Brought on by intense stress, depression, anxiety, and overall, deep emotional turmoil.

Complimentary studies have also reflected that these emotional effects on children of military divorce are seen in much higher frequency, due to a range of lifestyle factors present in children of military servicemen and women.

In Conclusion

Anyone who suffers through a divorce or separation will indeed, to some degree, be going through a unique situation. However, that doesn’t mean that nothing can be learned from the countless examples that come before.

With the information outlined here today, covering the causes and effects of military divorce or separation, we hope you have a greater understanding of the struggles military marriages face and their children in the event of a divorce.

Never forget that there is support out there for you and your family. Don’t hesitate to reach out to those you trust.

Roughly one in every three children will see their parent’s marriage fail.

Divorce is increasingly common and does leave an impact on kids that are directly involved. The biggest impact on a child is the custody arrangement as they may need to change their daily routines. This is why it’s so important to understand custody evaluations.

Custody evaluations are there to determine the best interest of a child. This evaluation takes a wide range of factors into consideration to help draft a solid parenting plan. This plan is designed with the child in mind, not the parents.

Want to learn more about child custody evaluations? Read on for what you need to know about the types of custody arrangements and how a decision is finalized.

Types of Child Custody Arrangements

There are a few unique custody arrangements that you should know about. These arrangements range from legal custody to joint custody where both parents share in daily responsibilities. Here’s a quick look at the various custody arrangements.

Legal Custody

Legal custody is full custody of your child. This kind of custody goes further than physical custody as the parent is able to make long-term decisions about the child’s well-being. This includes decisions about education, medical issues, and even living arrangements.

Physical Custody

Physical custody is full custody of a child without the ability to make long-term decisions. This means that you are in control of where the child lives along with the day-to-day activities. Major decisions like moving to another school or city will still need to be agreed upon by both parents.

Sole Custody

Sole custody is where one parent gets full custody of the child. This kind of custody arrangement is given to people with abusive partners or where safety can’t be guaranteed for the child. The safety and well-being of your child are always the main priorities.

Joint Custody

Joint custody is the most popular custody arrangement for divorced couples. This custody arrangement gives both parents the ability to have a say in the child’s future. Decisions for the child are the responsibility of both parents, including finalizing living arrangements.

In most cases, the child will stay with one parent during the week and with the other parent on weekends. However, the ultimate decision does lay with both parents.

Determining the Best Interest of a Child

There are a few major factors that come up when discussing child custody. At the end of the day, all of these factors are looked at to determine the best situation going forward. Here’s a quick look at these factors.

Child’s Age

Your child’s age is an incredibly influential factor. Young children require more care and attention than older kids. This means that judges are more inclined to give custody to the primary caregiver.

When it comes to older children, the court may take their personal wishes into consideration. As long as their decision does not contradict the other factors, the court is likely to side with the wishes of the child.

Consistency

Courts will always try to make the child’s life a priority. This includes keeping the child’s daily routine as consistent as possible. From living arrangements to school and external activities, the least number of changes the better.

Parental Ability

Parental ability is a major factor when deciding who gets custody. This ability includes providing the child with physical and emotional support. However, it also includes financial support such as shelter, food, medical care, and education.

This is not to say that the wealthier parent will always get custody. Instead, this requirement is just to make sure that the child will maintain their lifestyle with the parent that gets custody. This is to make sure that the child is not impacted by the transition.

Changing Routines

When it comes to making a custody agreement, the judge will try to limit the changes that impact the child’s daily life. This means that the child’s typical routine is taken into consideration to determine where they should stay.

General Safety

The general safety of your child will always be taken into consideration in family court. If there’s any indication that your child may not be safe with one parent, the judge will take all necessary steps to ensure the child’s safety. This could be denying custody to that parent or setting limitations for the custody agreement.

Creating a Parenting Plan

Creating a parenting plan is essential to help you co-parent successfully. This plan should include time for family activities with both parents. However, this is still dependent on the custody arrangement that has been agreed on.

The best way to manage your parenting plan is to have a shared calendar. This calendar can help plan activities and schedule when your child will visit each parent. Cloud-based calendars are the best option as both parents will be able to contribute to your child’s schedule.

This is also great to help inform both parents of any changes so that they can prepare in advance.

Let 2houses Help with Your Parenting Plan

As parents, you want to give your child the best foundation possible. Even though a divorce can cause some disruptions, a solid parenting plan can ensure that your child is taken care of properly. Whether you have shared custody or weekend visiting rights, it’s important to have a solid plan so that there’s no confusion for your child.

2houses offers convenient, comprehensive tools to help you create and manage your parenting plan. The platform lets you create a simple, cloud-based calendar along with messaging and financial tools. Learn more and start your free trial today.

When you are in the depths of a divorce or separation, it is not hyperbole to state that you are likely in one of the most emotionally difficult times of your life. You will have no shortage of strong emotions kicking around, making day-to-day life a struggle.

Yet, for children of parents currently in the midst of a divorce or separation, their day-to-day lifestyle will be of paramount concern. Children will want to know what is happening, where they will sleep, if they will see a certain parent and when. These questions are extremely common for children in this situation.

Unlike after a divorce or separation where a co-parenting arrangement can be created, during a divorce or separation is often a turbulent time to make these arrangements. Yet, it is important that you do so.

Today we’ll be exploring how to best navigate child custody and visitation during a divorce or separation, and provide you with the tools and insight to make the best of this difficult time in your life.

Keep The Child Informed

Before we delve into the specifics of how child custody and visitation will work from your perspective, it’s important we quickly outline the child’s perspective. Children are intelligent, even at a young age, and they will know their life is changing.

To best support your child through this time, we recommend you:

• Are as honest and up-front as you can be with their questions, as long as the answers are appropriate for a child,
• Reassure them that they will still see both parents, even if one parent is away during divorce proceedings,
• Inform them about the changes to their life, and how you are navigating the situation,
• Ask them what they want in a co-parenting arrangement. Such as “Do you want Daddy to pick you up from footy practice?” or “Do you want to be with Mommy on the weekend?”
  • Important: Refrain from asking these questions as a method of skewing the co-parenting arrangement in someone’s favour. Instead, approach these questions with the intention of giving your child agency over this change in their life.

Two Roads Ahead of You: Legally Defined or Not

Divorce proceedings will often go down two different roads. You will either be pursuing divorce with legal representation, or you will be filing for an uncontested divorce (Also known as a no-fault divorce) through the legal system, but won’t actually require any legal representation.

The nature of how you are pursuing a divorce will dictate the tools you have at your disposal when it comes to visitation and child custody. Let’s explore both of these in a little more detail, and see how each will differ when it comes to child custody and visitation.

Traditional Divorce Proceedings

For couples working through a more traditional divorce proceeding, each with their own legal representation, mediation services and procedures will be available to help you create a stop-gap arrangement for child custody and visitation.

The process is quite straightforward, involving the legal mediator sitting with both parents and discussing a fair co-parenting arrangement that works for both of you. It’s important to note that unless there is any danger to the child (In the event of violence, abuse, etc) then this agreement will strive for equality.

A judge may be required to approve the agreement, ensuring that fair and equal grounds have been met and that the child’s safety, security, and care are the priority of the agreement.

A Temporary Child Custody Order will then be signed by both parties, outlining a structure for your child’s life, each parent’s responsibilities, drop-off times, as well as any other finite details that need to be straightened out. You can see this as a temporary parenting plan, and it will serve as how you’ll operate until the divorce is final.

Uncontested (No-Fault) Divorce

If you are pursuing an uncontested or no-fault divorce, then you will not have these legal frameworks available to you. This won’t come as a surprise, as if you are pursuing a no-fault divorce, then you and your ex-partner have managed to agree to fair terms to your split that don’t involve legal mediation.

This carries over to your co-parenting responsibilities for your child. To have a no-fault or uncontested divorce granted by a judge, then the court will need to see that you have created an effective co-parenting arrangement for any children under the age of eighteen.

This is why it’s a good idea to sit down and create an official parenting plan, even if it only serves as a temporary arrangement until the divorce is finalized. The agreement should outline all facets of your child’s life, including:

• Where they will sleep on what days,
• Drop off and pick up locations,
• How to handle birthdays and holidays,
• Who will take the child to certain activities,
• And more…

Handling Visitation During a Rocky Divorce

It’s important we acknowledge that there will be divorces with more serious circumstances. This could include elements of substance abuse, domestic abuse, and more. If this is the case with your ex-partner, then it can be tempting to cut off visitation, or difficult to come to an arrangement that doesn’t cause significant emotional turmoil.

As tempting as it is, we urge you to allow visitation if an amicable and safe arrangement can be made. Family courts will often look down on any attempt to prevent a child from seeing their parent, as long as that child is safe to do so.

If you feel unsafe, or simply can’t communicate with your ex-partner to make this arrangement, then legal mediation is a good option to form this arrangement. However, it is not required, and a simple arrangement of regular visitation can be made verbally.

You are free to dictate the terms, but you must strive for a fair arrangement when it comes to your child. As difficult as it is, you must separate the circumstances of the divorce from how your children interact with their parents. The courts will expect that attitude from both parties, regardless of the kind of divorce proceedings you are taking.

In Conclusion

Trying to ensure a secure and loving future for your children during a divorce or separation can be a deeply exhausting task. It’s easy to see why many couples in the process of divorce or separation can get this wrong, making mistakes that could affect their child’s well-being in the long run.

Thankfully, with the information outlined here, you now have a more solid understanding of what is expected of you from legal divorce proceedings. As well as how to handle creating a temporary custody order, and managing visitation during the divorce proceedings.

Never hesitate to reach out and find support for yourself in this trying time. Everyone can do with a helping hand, and there is no shortage of resources out there to ensure you get the support you need.

Going through a divorce or separation is a turbulent time, with a wealth of emotions going around on all fronts. It’s no secret that navigating through this is a monolithic task, and we are not always going to do our best.

Yet, for parents of adolescent teens, this time can be difficult for a much different reason. Unlike young children, adolescent teens have the emotional capacity to comprehend fully what is going on. Sadly, they are rarely equipped with the emotional maturity, and introspective tools, to process this healthily.

This can leave adolescents in a rough spot when it comes to adjusting to this new reality of their parental unit. As parents, it can often be difficult to fully understand what our adolescent children are feeling, and how to best help them cope.

Today we’ll be exploring what research into adolescent adjustment to parental divorce has shown us when it comes to understanding how your child may feel, how to best support them and help put them on the right path to processing this tectonic shift in their lives.

Unpacking What Is Going Through an Adolescent’s Mind During Divorce

Just like their parents, an adolescent teen will be feeling and thinking a lot during this time. For some, this may be the first major change in their entire lives. Let’s cover what your child may be feeling, and what their practical concerns maybe once they learn the news.

Feelings

• They may feel relaxed, even happy if this is something that has been building for some time. It’s not uncommon for adolescents to identify this moment as a fresh start,
• Overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, if they think they are the cause of the divorce or separation,
• Resentful that you’ve made this choice, changing their life and forcing them to deal with your problems,
• They may feel relieved if the relationship with one parent is tense, and they see this as a method of distancing themselves, or resolving a longstanding conflict,
• Worried about losing contact with one of their parents, or even both of you, due to the parents no longer wanting to be together,
• Anxious about the future, not knowing what’s going to happen, or how it’s going to happen.

Practical Concerns

• Where are they going to live?
• Will they have two houses? Can they stay in one house as a primary residence?
• Will they have to move schools, states, or even countries?
• Will both parents still support them in the future?

It’s important to note: These feelings and concerns, on the surface, may seem short-sighted, selfish, and perhaps even annoying or stupid given the context of your divorce or separation. However, the human mind is rarely a purely rational being.

It’s vital that you don’t pass judgement on how your child may be feeling, or what they are thinking. In a lot of ways, your child will be in crisis mode.

Let’s discuss how to address these feelings and concerns down below.

Helping Your Adolescent to Adjust to a Divorce or Separation

There is a range of methods you can employ to help your adolescent child adjust, and they’re not difficult.

Let’s explore them one by one:

Maintain Normal Routines

It will be simpler for your child to adjust to the change in your family if they can maintain their daily routine, continue living in the same home or neighbourhood, attend the same school, and continue participating in usual activities like sports.

Shield Your Child from Conflict

Being exposed to hostility and constant disagreement between you and your child’s other parent is bad for your child’s mental health.

Therefore, it’s preferable if you can refrain from discussing the problems of the separation with your child or disparaging their former parent. When your youngster isn’t there, speak to a friend or member of your family if you need to vent your irritation. Another option is to speak with a counsellor.

Provide a Safe Space to Talk Openly

Your adolescent will need the opportunity to voice their thoughts once you have had your say. This might happen when you initially speak to them or afterwards when they’ve had some time to reflect.

This can help them better manage challenging emotions and worries by talking about them. Active listening may also assist you in determining the best way to soothe your kid when they are ready to speak.

Your child may express the desire to chat with another trusted adult, such as an aunt or uncle, a family friend, a teacher, or a counsellor if they find it difficult to talk to you about the separation. This is perfectly healthy, and you shouldn’t take this personally.

Reassure Your Child

Teenagers will often be feeling a lot of emotions, and have a lot of questions about their future. Regardless of what they’re feeling or thinking, it’s important that you’re there to reassure them, and have an honest conversation about their concerns.

Your child will need to be reassured, often several times. You may find you can’t provide reassurance for everything, but continue to be honest and open with them. Providing them with a space to get reassurance when they need it.

In Conclusion

There is no secret trick or hack to helping your adolescent adjust to a divorce or separation. Simply being present, open, and honest are the key pillars that will help your child to navigate this difficult time.

As parents, this can be overwhelming. Rest assured that there is no shortage of support out there for you as well. We all need a helping hand, and research has shown countless times that a strong support network is beneficial for everyone.

Moving on after a finalized divorce is never easy, and it’s even harder when there are children involved. Splitting your family into two households and moving into a new home can be heartbreaking, even if the divorce was amicable.

However, it’s important to look on the bright side, too. Every painful separation comes with a unique chance to get a fresh start in life. The best thing you can do is make that fresh start count as you move into your new house.

Today, we’re going to discuss some ways to help you and your children get settled after a separation.

A house doesn’t become a home until you’re living in it. Your move can be a great opportunity to focus your attention on something positive and constructive.

For our top suggestions on setting up a new home after divorce, keep reading.

Set the Tone for Your Household Early

As always, it’s important to get things off to a positive start. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to set the mood for your family. If you approach moving day with a pessimistic attitude, your kids will pick up on that.

Think about how you want them to feel as they move into their new home. Then, model that emotion for them and try to create an experience that fosters optimism. Your children will thank you for it when they’re older.

Repaint the Walls in Your New House

Simply sleeping in a new place doesn’t turn a house into a home. To really feel at home somewhere, you’ve got to establish a sense of ownership. Making your mark on a new house by repainting or redecorating is one way to do that.

You may not feel in the mood to decorate or do any painting. You may not feel that the new house is really worth going to all that trouble for. But trust us when we say that it’s worth it; you and your kids will feel better afterward.

Invest in New Furniture and Decorations

As with repainting, nothing makes a place feel like home like cozy furniture and decor.

It’s important to show that you take your move into your new home seriously. This kind of proactive, intentional attitude will go a long way toward lifting your family’s spirits. Investing time and money into your comfort is one way to do that.

You might consider making a special trip to a local furniture store with your kids. Try to keep things lighthearted, even if you don’t purchase anything right away. Allow yourselves to dream about the kind of home you’ll set up together.

Let Your Children Set Up Their Rooms

A very important part of moving post-divorce is giving your kids a sense of ownership in the new home. They may feel vulnerable and out of control as a consequence of their parents’ separation. Giving them their own rooms can help.

Although they might not seem excited about it at first, children thrive best when they feel responsible for something. Whether it’s a pet fish or a small part of the house, letting your child assume ownership in a situation is healthy.

With that in mind, let your children choose their bedrooms if possible. Then encourage them to arrange and decorate their rooms. You might even take them to a furniture or craft store to buy or make decorations they can use.

Bring in Greenery and Natural Light

One of the best things you can do for your emotional well-being is to bring in some nature. Opening blinds to let light in and buying a few potted plants can really lift the mood.

Set Up a Routine for Your Family Soon

Although kids thrive with a healthy amount of control, they also need external structure. Leaving them to their own devices for too long can make them feel stressed or isolated. It’s important to plan activities and chores for the family.

A routine could be as simple as going out to eat once a week or as elaborate as a detailed schedule. Just make sure to give your kids a say in what you do together. But don’t be afraid to set some rules, too.

Avoid Allowing Clutter to Accumulate

A cluttered home leads to a cluttered mind. Post-separation, everyone is probably feeling a little prone to stress as it is. Unpacked boxes, scattered packing materials, and belongings being strewn about can make it worse.

While you don’t need to do everything at once, you should avoid leaving messes. Try to keep the clutter and chaos to a minimum as you move in.

Allow Time and Space for Everyone to Adjust

Although healthy activity is going to be quite important during this time, the key is to seek balance. Rest and time for reflection are just as important.

You and your kids are going through a lot right now. Make sure everyone has plenty of rest and time to themselves when they need it.

Let 2houses Help Keep Your Family Organized

By now, you should have a clear idea of how to get your family settled into a new home post-divorce. From investing in furniture to helping your kids be involved, these suggestions are sure to take you a long way.

However, for separated parents, moving in is just the first step. You still have a two-household family to manage, and that can be a challenge.

Fortunately, you don’t have to go it alone. 2houses offers convenient, comprehensive tools for making your new life easier, from group scheduling to shared finances.

Learn more and start your free trial today.