Category: Co-parenting

The holiday season is a magical time filled with twinkling lights, joyful carols, and the promise of warmth and togetherness. It’s a season that brings families all over the world closer, transcending differences in the spirit of love and unity. However, for divorced parents, navigating this festive time can be emotionally challenging, with its unique set of difficulties, from coordinating custody arrangements to managing potential conflicts.

Yet, amidst the complexities of divorce, it’s essential to recognize that Christmas can still be a magical and meaningful time for both parents and their children. Rather than letting the strains of separation overshadow the joy of the season, divorced parents have the opportunity to create new traditions and unforgettable experiences during the holidays. By placing their children’s well-being at the forefront and maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship, they can transform Christmas into a time filled with joy, love, and cherished moments.

In this article, we will explore 7 key Christmas activities that divorced parents can engage in to promote unity, happiness, and connection, even in the midst of changed family dynamics. These activities are not just about celebrating the season; they are about celebrating the enduring bond between parents and their children, regardless of the circumstances.

Decorating Together

One of the most cherished Christmas customs revolves around the practice of embellishing the tree and the entire household. For divorced parents, this presents a remarkable opportunity to forge enduring memories with their children. Whether it’s the delight of hanging ornaments, the mirthful moments while stringing lights, or the imaginative process of crafting homemade decorations, decorating as a family can create a heartwarming bonding experience. It’s a chance not only to trim the tree but also to reflect on shared moments, create a cozy holiday ambiance, and, most importantly, build a sense of togetherness.This activity transcends the complexities of divorce, enabling parents and children to embrace the Christmas spirit and, in the process, establish new traditions that signify the enduring strength of their love and connection.

Attend a Local Holiday Event

During the Christmas season, many communities come alive with a wide array of holiday events, ranging from enchanting parades to bustling festivals and spectacular light displays. For divorced parents, these events offer an exceptional chance to share memorable moments with their children in a joyful and festive atmosphere. By participating in these local celebrations, they not only immerse themselves in the infectious holiday spirit but also craft cherished memories that will stand the test of time.It’s a time when laughter mingles with the twinkling lights, and the joy of the season permeates the air. These outings transcend being mere entertainment; they serve as a testament to the enduring bond between parents and children, illustrating that love knows no boundaries, even in the face of divorce.

Baking and Cooking

Embracing the culinary side of the holiday season can be a delightful way for divorced parents to connect with their children. Whether they’re donning aprons to create batches of gingerbread cookies, collaborating on a special Christmas feast with all the traditional trimmings, or simply coming together to craft the perfect cup of hot cocoa with a generous serving of marshmallows, the kitchen can become a magical place for bonding.This shared creative journey not only fills the air with tantalizing scents but also warms hearts with laughter, the joy of taste testing, and a profound sense of togetherness. As they mix, bake, and savor the fruits of their labor, divorced parents and their children not only whip up delectable treats but also forge indelible memories.These culinary adventures underscore the idea that the holiday season is not only about the dishes served but the love and unity that go into making them. It’s a reminder that, even amidst the challenges of divorce, the act of preparing and sharing a meal can symbolize the enduring bond between parents and their children.

Letter to Santa

The timeless tradition of composing letters to Santa Claus isn’t just for the little ones; it’s a heartfelt activity that both children and parents can treasure. Encouraging your kids to express their Christmas wishes in writing to Santa is not only charming but also an opportunity for them to nurture their imagination and convey their desires. However, the magic doesn’t end there. As a divorced parent, you can join in this enchanting ritual by writing your own letter to Santa. In your letter, you can reflect on the wonder of the season, express your love, and articulate your profound appreciation for your children. It’s a chance to infuse the holiday spirit with the love you hold for your family, reminding your children that their dreams and desires are just as meaningful to you. These letters, whether addressed to Santa or each other, become more than ink on paper; they are tokens of affection that underscore the enduring bond between parents and children, reinforcing the belief in the magic of Christmas.

Volunteer Together

The holiday season goes beyond mere receiving; it’s a time for giving, and one of the most valuable lessons divorced parents can impart to their children is the significance of empathy and kindness. This can be achieved by volunteering together at a local shelter, food bank, or charity event. Through this hands-on experience, you can reveal to your children the genuine essence of Christmas. It’s an opportunity to teach them about the value of helping those in need and the significance of making a positive impact in the community. While working alongside each other, whether sorting donations, serving meals, or participating in holiday charity initiatives, you are not only making a difference in the lives of others but also creating enduring memories that emphasize the fundamental principles of compassion and selflessness.It’s a beautiful way to demonstrate that the holiday season is not solely about material gifts but also about the gift of time and love shared with those who could use a helping hand. By volunteering as a family, you reinforce the lasting connection between parents and children and instill in them the belief that the spirit of Christmas is truly about spreading joy and kindness to all.

Movie Night

Sometimes, the simplest moments can create the most treasured memories. One of those moments is a cozy Christmas movie night at home with your children.  Allow them to take the lead in selecting their favorite holiday films, whether it’s the timeless classics or the latest heartwarming releases. As you all snuggle under blankets, surrounded by the warm glow of holiday decorations, and the enticing scent of freshly popped popcorn fills the air, you’re creating the perfect setting for an evening of relaxation, laughter, and shared joy. This cinematic experience becomes a comforting and heartwarming way to bond during the holiday season. While watching the movies together, you not only savor the stories and characters but also have the chance to discuss their themes, the significance of family, and the enchantment of the season. It’s a reminder to your children that, regardless of the complexities of life, the love and togetherness that define the holiday season can be found in the simple pleasure of sharing a movie night with those who matter most. This activity reinforces the enduring connection between parents and children, underscoring that it’s the moments spent together that truly make the holiday season magical.

Gift Shopping

Gift shopping during the holiday season is a tradition that goes beyond mere material exchange; it’s a reflection of love, thoughtfulness, and the joy of giving. For divorced parents, involving your children in the gift shopping process can be a valuable lesson in these important values. Whether it’s selecting presents for family members, friends, or even each other, this activity provides a unique opportunity to teach your children about the art of giving. It encourages them to think about what would bring joy to others and the significance of making thoughtful choices. Moreover, it offers a practical lesson in budgeting and planning, helping them understand the financial aspect of gift-giving. As you browse stores or explore online shops together, you create a shared experience that’s filled with laughter, discussions about the preferences of the recipients, and the excitement of choosing that perfect gift. This activity underscores that the true spirit of Christmas is not in the price tag but in the love and consideration that goes into selecting meaningful presents. By sharing this experience, divorced parents strengthen their bond with their children and reinforce the idea that, regardless of the circumstances, the holiday season is a time for sharing and caring. It’s a reminder that the joy of giving is a gift in itself.

In conclusion, being a divorced parent during Christmas can present unique challenges, but it also offers a chance to create new traditions and memories. By prioritizing your children’s well-being and cultivating a positive co-parenting dynamic, you can craft a special holiday season. These seven must-do Christmas activities for divorced parents can help you and your children enjoy the magic of the season and build a strong bond that will last a lifetime.

Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes stress and arguments! Here comes those moments when extended family are demanding time with you, with the kids, and you are suddenly faced with the logistical nightmare that can be the holidays.

However, it might not be Santa Claus. After all, there are a lot of people who don’t celebrate Christmas but it seems that all holidays can bring out a ton of stress, arguments and logistical nightmares when you try to be successful at co-parenting through them.

Of course, there are a ton of tips out there on how to be successful at co-parenting. We have a few tips ourselves. But tips are one thing and actually figuring out how to utilize them is another.

While you can do it the old fashioned way, with pen and paper and a whole lot of holiday cheer (or holiday spiced eggnog), there are ways that co-parenting holidays can be so successful, people will be amazed on how well you both pull it off.

What is this way of being so successful? You ask, and I’m ready to dish out the first gift of the season…use a mediation app. And not just any mediation app, use 2houses, which will exceed all of your needs when it comes to making the holidays run smoothly.

2houses Makes Creating those Lists Easy

Okay, first things first. Holidays are usually a big deal because you are dealing with presents for the kids. And boy, do kids have lists for days. Unfortunately, it can be difficult planning for the holiday gifts when the kids are floating between two houses.

Thankfully, 2houses can make those lists a little easier because you, your co-parent or the kids themselves, can go onto the journal feature and type in a list of gifts that they want. Since 2houses is so easy for kids to navigate, it is just as easy for them to look at the lists and modify them as it is for them to create their own.

A bonus with the journalling feature is that everyone who has access to the co-parenting app can look at the list and see what the kids want so if you have extended family on there too, they can look.

2houses Make Shopping Easy

So you have the list, now you can shop as co-parents. First, discuss where the kids can’t access it, usually via text, on what you are looking for at the gifts. One feature that 2houses has is that you can share the cost of every item on the list and create a budget in the budget feature.

You can choose gifts that come directly from each parent, which they cover the expense on their own, or you can split the cost of all the gifts together. When you use the budget tool, you can see what each parent has to pay out. You can even organize who is going out and purchasing what.

2houses Creates A Holiday Schedule That Works

One of the best features on 2houses is the calendar. Hands down, if you want to be organized, just get the app for the calendar alone. First, you will have the custody agreement already scheduled in. This will include agreements that you have for the holidays. You, your co-parent and your kids will all know where they are spending the holidays.

In addition, you can also set up your holiday events from school activities (such as plays) to extended family events that the kids need to go to. Another nice feature with this is that you can colour code extended family, school, sports and anything else so that it is easier to read on the calendar.

Finally, with the 2houses calendar, you can set times and even locations right on the calendar so that it is not confusing where and when you need to be.

And like many of the features on 2houses, kids can have access to the calendar as well, which will help relieve their worries on how their holidays will go.

2houses Keeps You Notified on the Next Event

Along with the calendar, you can set notifications so that you know what is going on every single day during the holidays. Set the alerts for the day before or even set multiple alerts. That way you’ll never be late, and you can set a notification to remind you on what you need to get beforehand or need to bring.

If plans change, you can make a request on the app itself and your co-parent will be notified, where they can approve or deny the request. This makes things a lot easier to organize when things are hectic around the holidays. And with ease comes less stress, which we all could use during the holidays.

2houses Lets you Save those Memories

Finally, since 2houses has both a journal and photo album, you can save the memories that you and your kids create over the holidays. And you can share them with your co-parent so they aren’t missing out on much when the kids are away.

The albums can be filled with holiday photos. And the journal can be filled with messages from the kids to the parent they aren’t with, or updates on how the kids liked certain gifts that were shared but were agreed to be opened at one parent over the others.

With these features, you can save memories, share them and simply keep it private between you and your little co-parented family.

2houses really is an app that helps take the stress out of organizing the holidays. While it can’t help you navigate those extended family relations, or wrap presents, it can make life and organization that much easier over the holidays. And really, is there any other gift co-parents want than the gift of stress free organization.

Joint custody arrangements offer a range of benefits that can positively impact both parents and children involved. Joint custody arrangements allow both co-parents to maintain active and meaningful relationships with their child, fostering a sense of continuity and connection despite the separation. For children, joint custody provides the opportunity to have consistent involvement and support from both parents, contributing to their emotional well-being and sense of security. This shared responsibility also encourages effective communication and cooperation between parents, promoting a more harmonious co-parenting relationship. Joint custody arrangements can reduce feelings of abandonment and mitigate potential negative effects of divorce on children’s self-esteem and overall development. Moreover, for parents, joint custody can alleviate the emotional burden of sole decision-making and parenting responsibilities, enabling them to share the joys and challenges of raising their child. Overall, joint custody arrangements offer a balanced and inclusive approach that prioritizes the best interests of the child while fostering a cooperative and supportive co-parenting dynamic.

What Is A Joint Custody Arrangement in Canada?

In Canada, joint custody arrangements involve both parents sharing responsibility for making major decisions regarding their child’s upbringing, even though the child might not necessarily spend an equal amount of time with each parent. This type of arrangement aims to ensure that both parents remain actively involved in their child’s life and upbringing, regardless of the separation or divorce. The primary consideration in any custody arrangement, including joint custody, is the best interests of the child. Courts in Canada aim to ensure that the child’s well-being is the top priority.

In most joint parenting arrangements, both parents have an equal say in major decisions related to their child’s education, healthcare, religious upbringing, and other significant life choices. Parents work together to create a detailed parenting plan outlining custody schedules, visitation arrangements, and how they will divide their time with the child. Effective communication between parents is essential to make joint custody work smoothly. This includes sharing information about the child’s well-being, daily activities, and any important events. Joint custody arrangements can vary based on the child’s age, school schedule, and parents’ work commitments. This might include alternating weeks, weekends, or holidays. In some cases, the child might have a primary residence with one parent while spending significant time with the other parent. The specifics can be worked out based on the child’s needs and the parents’ agreement.

Joint custody arrangements need to be flexible and adaptable to changes in the child’s life, as well as any evolving circumstances for the parents. It’s important to note that joint custody arrangements can be tailored to fit the unique needs and preferences of the family. While the legal framework for joint custody varies among Canadian provinces and territories, the overarching goal is to ensure that both parents remain involved in their child’s life and contribute to their well-being and upbringing. If you’re considering a joint custody arrangement, it’s advisable to consult with legal professionals familiar with family law in your specific jurisdiction.

How Joint Custody Arrangements Benefit Children

Joint custody arrangements, where both parents share legal and physical custody of their children after separation or divorce, can offer several benefits from the perspective of the child:

1. Maintaining Strong Relationships: Joint custody allows children to maintain strong and consistent relationships with both parents. This helps preserve the emotional bonds and connections that are essential for their overall well-being.
2. Emotional Stability: Having access to both parents provides children with a sense of emotional stability and security. They know that they can rely on both parents for love, support, and guidance.
3. Sense of Belonging: Joint custody reinforces the child’s sense of belonging to both sides of their family. They don’t feel like they have to choose between their parents, which can prevent feelings of isolation or abandonment.
4. Continuity in Lifestyle and Routine: Children benefit from having consistent routines and environments. Joint custody arrangements can help maintain familiar schedules, schools, and activities, reducing disruptions in their lives.
5. Reduced Conflict: When parents are committed to joint custody, they are more likely to communicate effectively and work together in the child’s best interest. This can lead to reduced conflict, which is beneficial for the child’s emotional health.
6. Better Decision-Making: Joint custody encourages both parents to collaborate on important decisions related to the child’s upbringing, education, and healthcare. This collective decision-making can result in well-rounded choices.
7. Positive Role Models: Children can observe positive co-parenting behavior, conflict resolution, and communication skills when parents work together effectively. These skills can positively influence their own future relationships.
8. Psychological Well-Being: Joint custody arrangements have been associated with better psychological well-being for children. They experience fewer feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness compared to those in sole custody arrangements.
9. Flexibility and Adaptability: Children exposed to joint custody may develop strong adaptive skills, learning to adjust to different living environments and coping with change more effectively.
10. Better Communication Skills: Children often develop better communication skills as they navigate between two households. They learn to express their needs, wants, and feelings clearly to both parents.

It’s important to note that while joint custody offers numerous advantages, it may not be suitable for every family situation. The key is to prioritize the child’s best interests and tailor custody arrangements to their specific needs and circumstances. Effective communication, cooperation, and a child-centered approach are essential for making joint custody successful and beneficial for the child’s overall development.

How Joint Custody Arrangements Benefit Co-Parents

Joint custody arrangements can offer several benefits from the perspective of the co-parents as well. While the primary focus should always be on the child’s well-being, co-parents can also experience positive outcomes from joint custody arrangements:

1. Shared Parenting Responsibility: Joint custody allows co-parents to share the responsibilities of raising their children, distributing tasks such as school activities, medical appointments, and extracurricular activities more evenly.
2. Maintaining Active Parental Role: Co-parents can continue to play an active and meaningful role in their children’s lives, fostering a close parent-child relationship despite the separation or divorce.
3. Reduced Parental Guilt: Knowing that they are actively involved in their children’s lives on a regular basis can help alleviate feelings of guilt that co-parents may experience after a separation or divorce.
4. Flexible Scheduling: Joint custody arrangements often involve shared parenting time, allowing co-parents to have flexibility in their personal lives and pursue their own interests while still being dedicated caregivers.
5. Balancing Work and Parenting: Joint custody can provide a more balanced approach to work and parenting, as both co-parents share in the responsibility of child care, allowing each to maintain their careers and personal goals.
6. Cooperative Parenting Skills: Successfully navigating joint custody requires effective communication and collaboration between co-parents. Over time, these skills can positively influence their overall ability to work together.
7. Modeling Healthy Relationships: Co-parents who work well together in a joint custody arrangement can model healthy communication and conflict resolution skills for their children, demonstrating that people can cooperate even after challenges.
8. Emotional Support: Joint custody can offer emotional support for co-parents, as they share the joys and challenges of parenting. This support network can be particularly valuable during difficult times.
9. Personal Growth: Co-parents might experience personal growth and development as they learn to adapt to new roles, responsibilities, and challenges. This growth can lead to increased self-awareness and resilience.
10. Long-Term Bond with Children: Joint custody arrangements can lead to a strong and enduring bond between co-parents and their children. This continued involvement can positively impact the parent-child relationship over the years.
11. Reduced Financial Strain: Sharing expenses related to raising children can help alleviate some of the financial strain that often comes with single parenting.
12. Greater Control Over Parenting Decisions: Co-parents in joint custody arrangements have the opportunity to be directly involved in making important decisions about their children’s upbringing, education, and healthcare.

It’s important for co-parents to approach joint custody arrangements with a focus on cooperation, effective communication, and the best interests of the child. While there are benefits to joint custody, it’s essential to consider each family’s unique circumstances and the child’s needs when determining the most appropriate custody arrangement.

When to Reconsider Having a Joint Custody Arrangement

While joint custody arrangements can be beneficial for many families, there are situations in which they might not be advised. In cases where there is a history of domestic violence, abuse, neglect, or serious conflict between the parents that could negatively impact the child’s well-being, joint custody may not be appropriate. Ensuring the child’s safety and emotional stability should always be the primary concern. Additionally, if one parent is unable or unwilling to effectively communicate, cooperate, or fulfill their parenting responsibilities, a joint custody arrangement might not be practical. Each family’s circumstances are unique, and it’s important to consider the child’s best interests when determining whether a joint custody arrangement is suitable or if alternative custody options would be more appropriate for the child’s safety and overall development.

Adjusting to co-parenting during the holidays is not only possible but can also bring numerous benefits to the entire family unit. While transitioning to a new co-parenting dynamic might initially present challenges, it provides an opportunity for parents to collaborate and create new traditions that reflect their changing circumstances. This adaptability fosters resilience and a sense of unity among family members. Through open communication and shared decision-making, parents can ensure that the children continue to experience the joy and magic of the holiday season while spending meaningful time with both sides of their family. This arrangement can teach children valuable life skills such as flexibility, cooperation, and effective communication. Moreover, co-parenting during the holidays helps maintain a sense of stability and familiarity for the children, assuring them that they are loved and supported by both parents. Ultimately, by approaching the holiday season with a cooperative and child-centered mindset, co-parents can create cherished memories and a sense of togetherness that benefits the entire family unit.

Common Challenges of Co-Parenting During the Holidays

Co-parenting during the holidays can present several challenges due to the emotional significance of these occasions and the need to coordinate schedules between two households. Some common challenges co-parents may face include:

1. Scheduling Conflicts: Coordinating holiday schedules between two households can be complicated. Each parent may have their own family traditions and commitments, making it challenging to find a balanced arrangement.
2. Conflicting Traditions: Co-parents might have different cultural or religious traditions, leading to conflicts about which traditions to prioritize or how to incorporate both into the children’s celebrations.
3. Emotional Strain: The holidays can evoke strong emotions for both parents and children. Feelings of nostalgia, sadness, or loneliness may arise, particularly if it’s the first holiday season after the separation or divorce.
4. Pressure to Compete: Co-parents might feel pressured to outdo each other during the holidays, leading to unhealthy competition or overspending in an attempt to provide the “best” experience for the children.
5. Child’s Loyalty Conflicts: Children may feel torn between spending time with each parent, especially if they’re celebrating with one parent while missing out on traditions with the other.
6. New Partners and Blended Families: Introducing new partners or step-siblings into the mix can complicate holiday plans and emotions, requiring sensitivity and communication to navigate these dynamics.
7. Communication Breakdowns: Misunderstandings or breakdowns in communication between co-parents can lead to confusion, resentment, and last-minute changes to holiday plans.
8. Logistical Challenges: Travel arrangements, transportation, and coordinating gift-giving can create logistical challenges, especially if the parents live in different locations.
9. Financial Stress: Holidays can strain finances, and co-parents may have different budget constraints, causing disagreements about gift-giving, spending, and how to share the costs.
10. Differing Expectations: Co-parents may have different expectations about how holidays should be celebrated or what level of involvement each parent should have in the festivities.
11. Feeling Left Out: One parent may feel left out if the children spend the majority of the holiday season with the other parent, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
12. Legal or Custody Disputes: In some cases, disagreements about custody arrangements, legal agreements, or visitation rights may escalate during the holidays, adding stress to an already challenging time.

To navigate these challenges successfully, co-parents should prioritize open communication, flexibility, and a child-centered approach. Planning well in advance, setting clear expectations, and considering the child’s needs and preferences can help mitigate many of these potential challenges. Seeking support from family therapists, counselors, or support groups can also provide valuable guidance during this time.

Helpful Tips for Navigating Co-Parenting Arrangements During the Holidays

Co-parenting during the holidays can present unique challenges, but with thoughtful planning and communication, it’s possible to create positive and memorable experiences for your children. Here are ten tips to help you navigate co-parenting during the holiday season:

1. Plan Early: Start planning holiday arrangements well in advance to ensure both parents have a clear understanding of the schedule. This helps avoid last-minute conflicts and gives children a sense of stability.
2. Put the Children First: Keep the focus on your children’s well-being and happiness. Make decisions that prioritize their needs and create a positive holiday experience for them.
3. Open Communication: Maintain open and respectful communication with your co-parent. Share your holiday plans, discuss any potential conflicts, and work together to find solutions that work for everyone.
4. Be Flexible: Flexibility is key during the holidays. Unexpected changes or opportunities may arise, so be willing to accommodate adjustments to the schedule when necessary.
5. Create a Detailed Schedule: Create a clear holiday schedule that outlines when the children will be with each parent. Include details about pickup/drop-off times, locations, and any special events or traditions.
6. Alternate Years: Consider alternating major holidays each year to ensure both parents have the opportunity to spend special occasions with their children. For example, one parent could have custody on Thanksgiving one year and the other parent on the following year.
7. Be Inclusive: If possible, involve both parents in holiday celebrations. This might mean inviting the non-custodial parent to certain events or sharing photos of special moments.
8. Focus on Traditions: Maintain important family traditions that your children enjoy. If possible, find ways to incorporate these traditions into both households to create a sense of continuity.
9. Respect New Traditions: Be open to new traditions that your co-parent might introduce in their household. Allow your children to experience the joy of different holiday customs.
10. Stay Positive: Keep a positive attitude and avoid involving your children in any conflicts or negative feelings between co-parents. Children should be shielded from any tension during the holidays.

Remember, co-parenting during the holidays is an opportunity to show your children that their well-being and happiness are the top priorities. By working together, communicating openly, and being flexible, you can create a warm and joyful holiday season for your children, even in the midst of a co-parenting arrangement.

Creating a Healthy Co-Parenting Environment During the Holidays in Possible

Creating a healthy co-parenting environment during the holidays in Canada involves prioritizing open communication, flexibility, and the well-being of the children. First and foremost, clear communication between co-parents is crucial to establish holiday plans well in advance. This helps avoid misunderstandings and allows for collaborative decision-making regarding visitation schedules, travel arrangements, and special events. Flexibility is key, as holiday plans can often change due to unforeseen circumstances. Being open to adjustments and compromises demonstrates a willingness to prioritize the children’s experiences over personal agendas.

Moreover, maintaining consistency in traditions that the children enjoy, even across separate households, can provide a sense of stability during the holidays. Encouraging the children to express their feelings and preferences fosters their sense of agency in the planning process. By keeping the focus on shared joyful experiences and the children’s well-being, co-parents can create a positive and harmonious holiday season that supports their children’s emotional growth and happiness.

With the world becoming more and more attached to the internet and their phones, is there any doubt that parenting would change? The answer is no. Kids are on phones or online. Parents are on phones or online. And that means that co-parents are online and on phones.

But surprisingly, when it comes to co-parenting apps, a lot of ex-partners don’t think of that option when it comes to co-parenting in the UK. In fact, many still struggle with all the problems of traditional co-parenting when they could be enjoying the benefits of using online tools and apps for co-parenting.

So what are those benefits? Well, the fact that you can put all your organization into your pocket is the biggest, but there are a number of other ones, which we will go through right now.

Benefit Number One: Getting Those Calendars Organized

The biggest benefit of using online tools and apps for co-parenting, such as the app 2houses, is being able to organize your schedule. This can start simple by putting in your custody arrangement and marking which days the kids are with which co-parent. However, more advanced apps and online tools allow you to colour code the calendar, mark times of handoffs and where those handoffs are going to take place.

In addition, you can put in events for the kids, which co-parent will be attending those events (including if both are), when expenses need to be paid, and a wide range of other events that occur throughout the month.

By having your calendar organized and downloaded onto an app on your phone, you can be sure to have everything organized when it comes to your schedules.

Benefit Number Two: Organize those Documents

Speaking of organization, by using an online tool or app for co-parenting, you can actually keep life and documents organized. With 2houses, you can upload all of the documents regarding custody and settlements to your app where it will be safe and secure. In addition, you can add medical records, contacts to do with your kids and a range of other documents that will keep life easy.

And they can be shared with your co-parent so that you both have access to the same documents, which makes life much easier, especially during an emergency when you need to access those important documents quickly and securely.

Benefit Number Three: Reduces the Amount of Conflict

This is all in how you use the app but co-parenting tools and apps are often recommended when you are co-parenting with a high conflict partner. By using the app, you can minimize the amount of conflict that you have with the high conflict partner and can have all correspondence done through the app instead of in person.

Even without a high conflict co-parent, there will be times when there is more conflict. And some topics bring up conflict as they are known as high tension or high conflict topics. Often, these topics are around changes to visitation or about money.

With a co-parenting app, or using the online tools, you can circumvent these tense conversations. If the app has a messaging system connected to the calendar, you can simply put in requests regarding changes in visitation or pick up times and the notification will be sent to the other co-parent.

When it comes to expenses, some apps, like 2houses, has a budget that you can track expenses, send messages on costs of things and provide feedback on how much to spend for items such as shoes right through the app, make it much easier to get things the kids need without all the tension.

Benefit Number Four: Program those Reminders

This really comes into play with organization but you can set the online tools and apps to send you reminders of appointments, handoff times and any event happening in your kids’ lives. It can also send notification on when you need to send over money to cover expenses.

By having the reminders, you can really stay on top of things, which can be a huge accomplishment as raising kids between two houses can be extremely challenging and confusing at times. With the app, it doesn’t have to be.

Benefit Number Five: You Get to Enjoy Your Kids

The final benefit of using online tools and apps is that you really just get to enjoy your kids. The app can do all the heavy lifting and you can simply enjoy the time with your kids when they are with them. In addition, apps like 2houses have journals and photo albums so kids can be in contact, write notes, share photos and just still be in touch with you whenever they aren’t actually with you.

And your co-parent can do the same with those journals and albums so that you are always aware of what is going on, and being able to enjoy every moment of your kids’ lives, even when they aren’t with you.

When you aren’t worrying about conflicts with your co-parent, juggling budgets or stressing about making events, you’ll find that your days with your kids are focused on bonding, which is healthy for them, you and their relationships with both co-parents.

As you can see, there are many different benefits to using a co-parenting app or online tool. You will feel less stress, be more organized and will simply enjoy the new relationship you have formed as co-parents. Will it solve everything? The answer is obviously no, but it will remove a lot of the complications that can occur when you are trying to organize life between two houses. So what are you waiting for? Find an online tool or app that works for you and your family and start organizing your life and experiencing all the benefits of having one.

Setting boundaries is important in life. In fact, one thing that I often recommend to everyone no matter the relationship—from friendships to partner to work—is to set healthy boundaries. However, when people are navigating a separation and divorce while simultaneously navigating the world of co-parenting, setting boundaries can be difficult and, at times, feel completely unobtainable.

And that’s okay. Struggling to set boundaries is normal but it is very important that you set those boundaries as soon as you can. The earlier in a co-parenting relationship you can set those boundaries, the better it will be for you, your ex-partner and your kids.

The Reason to Set a Boundary

First, while it may seem like a no brainer if you are dealing with a high conflict ex-partner, it may not be so clear as to why you need a boundary with an ex-partner you are getting along with. The main reason to set a boundary is so that you can define your new relationship.

Remember, you are not in a relationship where you and your partner are together. You now have different goals; different dreams and you may even have different ideas on what co-parenting will look like.

When you have boundaries in place, you are setting rules to what the co-parenting relationship will look like. It will definitely be different from the relationship that you had when you were together, and it may constantly evolve as your kids get older or you add new people into your, and their, lives.

Boundaries equal rules and parameters that will only aid you as co-parents.

So how do we set them? Well, here are some pretty simple steps to set those boundaries with your ex-partner.

Boundary Number One: Don’t be a Confidant

A particularly good boundary to have that will help set the relationship is to not be the confidant to your ex-partner. While you may still have a friendship, and hopefully so, if you are confidants to each other, it can confuse the roles you play in each other’s lives. It is okay to be in contact with each other from time to time, but you should still talk about things regarding the kids, especially if you are becoming a blended family with stepparents involved.

The main reason that I always stress this boundary is that by being a confidant, it blurs the relationship to what you had in the past. This can be confusing for everyone involved but especially for the kids. In addition, it can be easy to fall into old habits and to have expectations of getting back together, which can lead to a lot of conflict if that doesn’t happen.

You can be friends, but don’t be best friends sharing all the intimate details of your life or the stresses you have.

Boundary Number Two: Approach Everything From a Calm Place

Another boundary to set is for yourself, but it is one that you should be clear about with your ex-partner. Let them know that you will disengage if an argument happens…and follow through. Don’t come to meetings or mediations angry, frustrated or with any type of negative emotion. Instead, center and find your calm place before you meet.

Remember that energy matches energy, so if you come to all interactions with your co-parent with a calm energy, they are more likely to match it. When you first set this boundary, set it for yourself. Don’t expect your partner to do it, but let them know that you won’t interact if it becomes a conflict.

As your relationship grows, see if they would be open to having the same boundary as you.

Boundary Number Three: Keep the Kids Out of Arguments

This is a very important boundary and both of you should follow it. Do not bring your kids into the argument. This means that you shouldn’t argue in front of them. If you can’t have a civil conversation, choose third person handoffs where you don’t have to interact, or agree that you will only discuss high tension topics through email without the kids present. Arguing in front of the kids could lead to a lot of stress and upset for the kids…and it could cause them to feel like they need to pick sides.

Another important thing about keeping kids out of the arguments is that you should never badmouth your ex-partner to them or get them to relay messages for you. Instead, just talk about the good parts of your ex as it pertains to them. Kids grow up quickly and they thrive when they have a good relationship with both their parents.

Boundary Number Four: Set the Times You Are Available

If your kids are with your co-parent, you may want to keep the phone on or the app notifications up so that you can be contacted in the event of an emergency; however, when the kids are with you, it is good to have set times when you are available to the other parent and vice versa.

Kid related, have a number or guidelines for contacting during an emergency. If it isn’t kid related or has to do with custody, expenses or the other matters of co-parenting (or your divorce), let the other parent know the times you are available to talk. If you don’t have set times, it can be extremely easy for your ex-partner to infringe on time you have dedicated to yourself.

In addition to that boundary, also make boundaries on how they can contact you. Use the calendar and mediation app for all things non-emergency regarding the kids. Use email for divorce settlement stuff and use texts for reminders or quick questions about the kids that you need answered.

As you can see, setting boundaries is important for you, your children, your ex-partner and how you set up your relationship. Without boundaries, you can fall into old habits that can lead to a wide range of conflict between you. Without boundaries, it can create confusing dynamics for all involved, and the best thing for you and your kids is to avoid those confusing situations so all of you are thriving and happy.

One thing that we have realized over the years is that families look different…well, they have always looked different but it seems that we are often more aware of it now. Kids don’t always live with mom and dad but might live with a grandparent, aunt, or uncle. Families don’t always have the nuclear family of two opposite sex partners. In fact, a large number of families break the norm of the traditional nuclear family.

And one of the ways that families are breaking that norm can be with a third party. It can be as mentioned already, the children living with someone other than their biological parents. It could mean that there are three parents listed on the birth certificate—many countries have move to this…Canada being one of them with up to four parents allowed to be listed on a birth certificate. It could also mean that the kids still live with one of their biological parents but a third part, such as an ex-partner who is the stepparent of the kids, may have visitation rights as well.

While this is wonderful for kids to have so many loving people involved in their lives, it can make life a bit confusing and stressful when you are trying to organize a co-parenting arrangement with third parties and not just the regular two party households.

Which is why we always stress getting help when things seem confusing. And that help can come to you in the form of a mediation or co-parenting app such as 2houses, which is what we are going to look at in regard to how 2houses can make co-parenting with third parties easier.

Number One: Documents are Organized and Accessible

When there are more than just two parties in a custody agreement, there can be a lot of paperwork that you need to keep track of. One of the benefits of today’s day and age is that a lot of paperwork is sent as both hardcopies and as electronic. Even when they aren’t electronic, many people opt to have them scanned in to be digital.

And it is these digital files that we want to look at. They can be uploaded right onto the 2houses digital app and into their own folder on the app. This folder can be accessed by everyone who has access to the app and you can all see the same thing in the documents.

This makes it a lot easier to navigate disagreements that were already settled in the court or through mediation. All you need to do is pull the document up on the app and look at what it says to solve it. Since there are multiple parties in this arrangement, having access to documents at your fingertips can help prevent a lot of confusion, frustration and headache for all of you.

Number Two: Calendars are Colour Coded and Easy to Use

The calendar is a big part of how 2houses helps co-parents to be successful and it is integral when it comes to co-parenting with a third party. Being able to see a calendar that shows when everyone has visitation, all the events the kids have and allows for room for notes, pick up arrangements, meeting times and so on allows all parties to focus on co-parenting the kids.

In addition, you can put up the custody arrangement and have it reoccur in the calendar. This can, again, be colour coded to each parent in the arrangement. When you open up the calendar, you can easily see who is taking the kids on that day and it takes a lot of the confusion out of it for everyone.

In fact, it can even make it easier on the kids as they can access the app and check the calendar on their own as well.

Number Three: Everyone Can Journal Together

There is a journal on the 2houses app that is great for parents, kids and anyone else involved in the care of the kids. What it is used for is for everyone to write a journal on what is happening with the kids. You can talk about their day, any big news you need to share for them or if they have any changes to their schedule.

In addition, kids can use the journal to write notes to everyone involved in their care. This is great when the kids are with one person and not the other people. It helps parents feel connected and allows the kids to continue building their bond with parents even when they aren’t together.

Number Four: Kids Can Access the App to Know What is Happening

As mentioned already, the kids can access the app and see what is happening in their world. We all know that co-parenting exists for one purpose and one purpose only…to take care of the kids in a positive and effective manner.

So them knowing what is happening in the co-parenting relationship, especially when there is a third party, is important in helping them adjust to the change of going from one home to several houses. Being able to see the app keeps kids organized, helps lower their stress and helps reinforce bonds for everyone.

Number Five: Budgeting Can be Tracked

Finally, the budgeting tool is excellent because everyone can track what money is being shared with the expenses. What is being paid out. And what is being sent with child support. Knowing finances and have access to seeing the budget will help co-parents avoid tension topics, and it keeps all three parties involved in the day to day costs of raising healthy and happy kids.

While you may have to share the expense of 2houses, it is very affordable even for two parents and is pennies when adding additional parties to the app. Besides the low cost, 2houses allows for everyone to know what is happening, who is seeing the kids and when and helps you all keep track of those important moments and documents while you focus on the kids and their needs.

Organization is important for parents. They need to know when they have to be somewhere, need to have access to important information about their kids and they have to juggle the lives of their children, along with all their activities, with an ease that doesn’t interfere with their work. It can seem like they are doing it easily; however, when you add that co-parents are doing this between two houses, custody arrangements and a host of other obstacles, it is amazing just how much organization is needed.

Getting Help with the Organization

So how do successful co-parents keep up with the organization of important information? They have help, of course. Sure, family and friends can help. Partners if you are part of a blended family help as well. But the best help that co-parents can have been to use a mediation and organization app or online tool.

There are plenty out there to choose from and as technology becomes a more popular tool for organization, I am sure there are going to be dozens more on the market. However, the one that really stands out on its own is the 2houses app.

What is 2houses?

2houses is an online digital platform and app that helps co-parents be successful in their relationship as co-parents. It offers a wide range of features that include a calendar, budget tracker, journal, albums and more. It is set up and designed to keep your life organized so you can focus on time with your kids and not on the logistics of your co-parenting arrangement.

So now that we know what 2houses is, let’s look at how 2houses can keep important information organized for co-parenting.

2houses Keeps Emergency Information Accessible

First, 2houses allows parents to store the information of contacts, doctors, schools and so on…anyone who they may need to contact about the kids. This can be shared with both parents and can make life easy when you are dealing with an emergency or simply plan a playdate for the kids.

In addition to contact numbers, you can have other information such as insurance, if your kids have special medications, they are on in the event they go to the hospital, blood type of your kids and so on. Having quick access to this information can be life saving in the event of an emergency. And it definitely gives you the peace of mind when there is no emergency but your kids are with the other parent since they have access to all the same information.

2houses Allows You To Store Court Documents

As you know, with divorce comes a lot of paperwork. And there seems to be even more paperwork when there are children, co-parenting arrangements, child support payments and everything else that’s involved in a divorce when you have kids. It can become really overwhelming at times and many co-parents find it difficult to access the information if it is sitting at home in a filing cabinet.

One option that many choose to do is to take advantage of the albums for documents. You can scan in all of your documents (or download them if they were sent to you electronically) and store them on the app.

Then, if you need to search something up in the documents, you can look at them regardless of where you are. And with both co-parents looking at the same files, there is less likely for there to be any confusion if you need to discuss something about the legalities of your arrangement.

2houses Makes Programming in Visitation Agreements Easy

As you know, 2houses has a calendar as a main part of the app, which helps you keep everything organized between two houses. You can plan out who is going to what events, or activities and you can colour code it to make it that much easier to navigate.

Another excellent feature with the calendar is that you can load in your custody agreement and set up where the kids go as per the arrangement, such as 50/50 or 60/40, etc. You can also punch in the time and location of handoffs so that you are extra organized on those days when the kids switch from one house to the other.

If you need to make changes to the days, you can easily send a request through the app and the other co-parent can agree or disagree with the change.

Really, the ease that you can build the calendar is one of the best features because it isn’t frustrating, you can do all of the dates at once without having to program each individual week for those reoccurring events and you can add other people to the calendar, such as extended family, so they know when they are helping you both as co-parents.

2houses Tracks Budgets

Finally, 2houses has an excellent feature that allows you to track the budgets as it concerns the kids. You can mark how much was paid for child support, as well as mark the expenses that go beyond child support. This helps you keep track of what has been paid toward those expenses and what needs to be paid out for anything that is shared.

Another wonderful way to stay organized with the budget is that you can make monthly statements which you can print or save to your own personal files. This is a terrific way to stay organized for tax season. And it allows you to keep documents in case you ever need them in court, which, hopefully, you won’t.

2houses really is the app that helps co-parents organize their co-parenting relationship, lives and information so it is easy to access and right there at the tip of your fingers no matter where you are.

So what are you waiting for, download the app today and get organized.

Co-parenting can be challenging in the most ideal situations, however, when you are dealing with a high-conflict ex-partner, challenging is taken to all new levels. Unfortunately, for the sake of the kids, and often because of the courts in the UK, most parents will still need to co-parent with the partner, no matter how much conflict occurs in the relationship.

Thankfully, there are things that you can do to make co-parenting with a high conflict ex-partner successful and we will go over those tips.

Parental Responsibility, High Conflict and the UK Family Law

In the UK, high conflict does not always mean that there will be caveats made in the courts for your parenting arrangement. Both parents have parental responsibility and they need to be able to co-parent above and beyond that conflict.

However, in the event that there is toxic conflict or domestic violence, the parent can seek legal parameters to reduce the amount of contact and possibly gain full parental responsibility of the children. This is set for extreme situations so if it is simply that you are arguing because of the divorce or settlement, then the courts ask that you work through them with the help of a mediator or family supports.

In those cases, you need to just follow the tips and move forward toward success.

Tip For Success #1: Acceptance

Before you do anything else, take a deep breath and accept how things are. Your relationship can’t be changed at this point, and there is a big chance that you are getting divorced because of that. Accept that your old relationship is over and that you need to find some way to navigate these new waters around your ex-partner.

Next, accept that you can’t change your high conflict ex-partner. By accepting that fact, you can step away from arguments and set those boundaries that you need to successfully co-parent. In addition, when you accept that you can’t change your ex-partner, you can begin to focus on what you can control…your life, job, how you raise your kids when they are at your home, and those trivial things. You will stop trying to control who your ex-partner is or setting expectations (good or bad) that affects how you interact with that person.

Finally, you can accept that your ex-partner will only change if he or she decides to change.

Tip For Success #2: Focus on Low-Conflict

This is primarily around communication but it is best to try to be low-conflict, even when your ex-partner is being high-conflict. If you find that you stumble into arguments when you see each other, ask for a third party for handoffs. You can say that you have to work, etc. to avoid an argument about not picking up or dropping off, or you can be honest and say that you don’t want to chance an argument in front of the kids.

If you can avoid arguments at handoffs, give your ex-partner other ways to discuss high-tension topics. You can suggest a mediation app like 2houses, email, or texting. Try to avoid any face to face or verbal conversations.

When you do any type of communication, make sure that it is low conflict. If you are feeling angry, frustrated, hurt, etc., take the time to calm down and then go and email your ex-partner. This is really important if you get a hurtful email or text. Take a breath, ignore it and approach it once you’ve calmed down.

Tip for Success #3: Don’t Take Things Personally

One of the best tips that I can give you is to not take things personally that your ex-partner says. Remember, when they are high conflict, they want to create conflict with you. And they don’t even need to start an argument with you. They can simply say something hurtful directly or in passing that can be devastating if you take it personally.

Instead, take a moment and collect yourself. Give yourself the assurance that what your ex-partner is saying is not true, that you are a different person than who you were when you were both together. Also, make sure that you go back to the statement that you can’t change that person. They are trying to hurt you and it is coming out in these ways.

And finally, don’t try to defend or explain yourself. What he or she thinks about you doesn’t matter. All that matters is what you think of yourself and your relationship with your kids. If you ignore the hurtful things, don’t take it personal and reaffirm who you are to yourself and your kids, you can avoid a lot of the pitfalls that parenting with a high conflict parent has.

Tip for Success #4: Match Conflict with Calm

It can be extremely easy to step into arguments with a high conflict ex-partner but one of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids is to not do it. When you step into the sandbox, as is said, you end up sinking to their level and it can become easy to be as damaging as they are.

Instead, set limits for yourself, disengage when you feel those limits being met and find ways to calm down so that you can match his conflict with calm emotion. The main point is to enjoy your life and the time with your kids and if you are left angry from a fight, you can’t do either.

Tip for Success #5: Set Some Boundaries  

Finally, when you are co-parenting with a high conflict ex-partner, it is important to set some boundaries and follow them. You don’t need to reply to every demand, text, email or answer every phone call. You can have space and you can have a protocol for emergencies if there is one.

Don’t let your ex-partner come to your home. Do all the meetings at public places and try to have someone there with you. This can help set boundaries and, if a conflict does happen, you can leave. It is a lot harder to get your ex-partner to leave if they are at your home.

Use a mediator for those moments when your ex-partner is not paying child support or doing things against the custody agreement. Don’t try to solve it yourself. More than likely, they are doing it to start a conflict and you tackling it yourself only feeds that conflict. Get the lawyers or mediators to deal with it.

While it is difficult, you can be successful when co-parenting with a high conflict ex-partner. You just need to set boundaries, avoid conflict and focus on your kids. Everything else doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of raising your kids.

Every parent knows that their extended family is a very important part of their lives when they are married. They provide childcare, offer advice and can be called on for an emergency if needed. Extended families within Canada serve all of these functions. However, what many parents are surprised to find out is that their extended family are integral to enabling them to co-parent effectively after a separation or divorce.

What are Extended Family?

Often, when we think of extended family, we think of grandparents and maybe aunts and uncles. However, that is not the only people who can qualify as extended family. Think about anyone important in your life and who have been important for your children.

With those thoughts in mind, extended family can include:

• Grandparents
• Aunts
• Uncles
• Cousins
• Close Family Friends
• Daycare Teacher
• School Teachers
• Coaches

So what is the role of extended family in Canadian co-parenting?

Well, let’s look at that very important question and go over the answers.

One: They Provide a Support System

The very first role that your extended family will play is the one of support. Remember that you are going from one house to two and this can mean that there are times when you need babysitters, or shuttling to and from places where neither you nor your co-parent can do it.

Extended family often help with this support and they can also be mediators at drop offs if you find that you have a high conflict break up and need someone you can trust to go with you.

It is important to note that extended family should not take sides or bad mouth the other partner, even if they are upset themselves. Around the kids, they should be a united front that is focused a 100% on the needs of the kids and not on the egos that have been hurt in the breakup. It isn’t easy but support should be just that, support.

Two: They Help Build a Child’s Self Esteem

Playing into the same premise of being a support, extended family provide a sense of belonging for the kids and they will look to those adults as role models for them to hold themselves up to. This is a very important role that extended family play because when the kids see their extended family being welcoming to them and their parents, they feel that support. And feeling that support and sense of belonging can increase their self esteem.

Another part of building the child’s self esteem is that extended family can reassure the kids that they are loved and lovable. They can also be people for the kids to talk to about their own fears, concerns and about dealing with the loss of having parents who are together.

With parents, extended family can be united in letting the kids know they are loved, they are welcomed to family events and nothing has changed in how the extended family sees them and all of that will build the child’s self-esteem.

Three: A Sense of Identity

Another important role that extended family play is the role of culture and identity. Children who have links to their extended family can have a sense of belonging to a community and group. This gives them a sense of identity and helps them process the loss that they are experiencing. While their parents are separating, kids can suffer from a sense of identity and being with their extended family can help them find that again.

Something else that is important with this is that kids can be a part of their cultural identity with extended family. Grandparents can teach traditions and language, cultural celebrations with the kids can be shared, and overall, kids can be part of their cultural community through their extended family. 

Four: Feelings of Stability

As you know, separation and divorce affects a child’s stability and their sense of stability as well. Often, houses change as parents move and split property. Schools can change and with that, so can friend groups. Kids feel a lot of turmoil and have a really hard time feeling settled.

That is why it is so important for extended family to be part of their lives. Extended family offer that stability that they need, especially if they were part of the kids’ routines prior to the separation. If there were family get togethers, such as Sunday dinner at the grandparents, kids can still attend and have that normalcy even if only one parent goes to that dinner ever Sunday night.

Another part of this stability is the continuity that they bring with them. Going back to those Sunday dinner, having those traditions continue after the divorce will help your kids setting into being between two houses.

This stability is very important for Canadian co-parents and their kids and will provide a lot of help in being successful co-parents.

Five: Love

While we’ve touched on this many times throughout the entire article, it is a really big one. Extended family provide love for the kids. They can be there when the kids need a break from their parents or when they just want to unwind.

It is important for extended family to provide a place for the kids that is filled with understanding and also to allow the kids time to vent without getting in trouble. When kids have this type of extended family, they can adjust to co-parenting more effectively and their well-being will continue to improve.

There are many ways that extended family members fill important roles in your co-parenting family and it is so important to include them. This helps you, your kids and your ex-partner with their well-being and sense of happiness and it will create a new family dynamic where your kids will always feel the support and love of those around them. So get in there, invite your extended family into your kids’ lives and cheer when you see all the benefits that comes with extended family.