Category: Co-parenting

We’ve all been there. When emotions are high, it can be difficult to reach agreements that are mutually beneficial. And that is where meditation can step in. In this article, we will explore the benefits of mediation, specifically as it applies to UK family law.

What is Mediation?

Mediation, also known as mediation, is the process of hiring a mediator or mediators to work with the family as they sort through disputes. Mediation is an alternative to long court battles, which are often traumatic for all involved, very expensive, and damaging to the co-parenting relationship. However, when families mediate, they have lower costs and better outcomes, which benefits both partners and any children they have.

What is the Process of Mediation?

In the UK, mediation goes through a process starting with choosing a mediation firm and having a mediator assigned to their case. One thing that should be pointed out is that children can be involved in the mediation process through a method called child inclusive mediation, which allows children the chance to voice their own wants and needs.

Once the mediator is selected, the process of mediation begins. This usually follows a pretty standard series of steps, including:

• Step One: First call. This can be one call or a series between the mediator and each partner. During the call, the mediation process is explained and present concerns are documented, although there is no in-depth consultation at this point.
• Step Two: Mediation Information Assessment Meeting. Also known as MIAM, this meeting is between the mediator with to discuss the history of the family, the divorce or separation and for the mediator to go into more detail about the mediation process. This meeting is done on an individual basis and is completely confidential. What one parent shares is never shared with the other parent and vice versa.
• Step Three: Joint Meetings: This starts with the first joint meeting where they sign the Agreement to Mediate form and then discuss pressing issues that need to be dealt with quickly. Once that is set, an agenda is created. After the initial meeting, there will be additional joint meetings to review and set child custody, financials and other issues that are raised.

Mediation is not a quick process and depending on the scope of the agreement that needs to be made, it can mean many meetings until everything is properly ironed out.

How do Mediators Help?

Mediators can help you work through communication blocks but there are three documents that they can help set in place.

1. A parenting plan that goes over the arrangements for the children, who they will live with, visitation and the overall day-to-day care of the children/
2. Open financial statements will lay out the financial information of both parents in an open manner so it can be easier to discuss child support and shared expenses for the children.
3. Memorandum of understanding is a document that records discussion and decisions made.

This are all important documents that will ensure a smooth transition to co-parenting.

Who Pays for Mediation

With mediation, both partners would split the cost of mediation between them. This can be split evenly or partners could agree for one parent to pay more than the other depending on how finances were divided after the split (if finances, including shared wealth, hasn’t been split yet, it could be based on who is earning more).

One thing to mention is that mediation is not free; however, the UK has a program where families can get up to £500 to apply to the cost of mediation. This is called the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme that you can apply for, although it is not available to everyone.

3 Benefits of Meditation

Now that we have an understanding of what is involved with mediation, especially in the UK, let’s look at some of the benefits families will experience during the process of separation and divorce. These benefits will not only create solid agreements, but will allow you and your ex partner to build a solid co-parenting plan and relationship.

Benefit of Mediation Number One: Opens Communication

The biggest benefit of mediation in the UK is that mediators serve the function of opening up communication. Court hearings can create tensions that often shut down communication; however, a mediator is less formal and offers less tension.

Mediators have a key role to play in facilitating dialogue between both parents. When there are communication blocks, a mediator can make suggestions, encourage outcomes and keep communication flowing.

In addition to communication, studies have shown that when mediation is used to make a decision for co-parenting, that decision is more likely to be beneficial for all parties involved and parents are more likely to adhere to those decisions.

Benefit of Mediation Number Two: Mediation is Private

Another benefit that parents often don’t think about is that mediation is private. Unlike court proceedings, mediation can assist in your relationship being out in the public eye. In addition, many of the agreements that you make during mediation is protected by privacy laws, which means that they cannot be presented to the court in the event that mediation fails.

This privacy is important as it aids in encouraging both parties to be open and honest about all aspects of their marriage, the breakdown, the process that got them to mediation and their goals for co-parenting.

Benefit of Mediation Number Three: Cost          

Finally, the third benefit for mediation is that it is relatively cheap when you compare it to the costs of going to court over these disputes. Mediators make the process quick, they adhere to agendas and set a maximum number of sessions that you will have. This enables both partners to stay on task and to have control over the process, which they wouldn’t have if they were going to court.

It is important to reiterate that mediation is not free; however, if it works smoothly, it can save a lot of time and money for both parties involved.

Finding the best mediators is particularly important for this process to go smoothly; however, when you have excellent mediators, you will find that you are protected, your kids are taken care of, and you can focus completely on moving forward to a new relationship as co-parents. And that, in the end, is the greatest benefit of all with mediation to resolve co-parenting disputes.

When parents make the hard decision to separate, there are many things that they have to consider, especially when they have children together. Shared custody is a major step toward moving forward but it can be a bit difficult to navigate, which is why it is important to follow these tips to make the process of navigating shared custody easier for Australian parents.

What is Shared Custody?

Before we look at shared custody, it should be noted that under Australian law, it is referred to as shared parental responsibility to remove any negative connotations to the term custody, which implies ownership. Shared parental responsibility is when both parents share visitation rights, care, duties, powers, expenses, authority and responsibilities of their children; however, it should be noted that with Australian law, shared custody does not mean 50/50 rights, unless parents agree to it. In fact, parents can agree to a number of different arrangements for custody including:

• 50/50: A straightforward way to do 50/50 is alternating weeks.
• 60/40: 4 days with primary caregiver, 3 days with non-primary caregiver
• 80/20: 5.5 days with the primary caregiver, 1.5 days with non-primary caregiver. This arrangement also works great with alternating weekends.
• 2/2/3: 2 days with the start parent, 2 with the second parent, 3 with the start parent.
• 3/4/4/3: This is similar to 2/2/3 except the schedule switches every week so week 1, one parent gets 4 days and week 2, the other parent gets 4 days. It’s an option to have that 50/50 split but the kids won’t be gone for an entire week.

In addition to these arrangements, in Australia, many courts place the mother as the primary caregiver. However, stepparents can apply for parental responsibility and parental rights as can same sex partners.

Now that we know the laws around shared custody, let’s look at ways that you can navigate it smoothly.

Tip Number One: Focus on the Needs of the Kids

One of the first tips that every parent should follow when they are separating is to put aside a lot of their own emotions and focus on the needs of the kids. It can be difficult but if you both make a mutual decision to do this, you can avoid a lot of the tension, arguments and fights that happen when you are focused on your own needs during this challenging time.

If possible, try to get a formal child custody agreement in place as quickly as possible. Once you have the agreement, you can set up a schedule that works to the agreement and use 2houses to keep the schedule working.

Be sure to discuss with kids if they are older what their own wants and needs are. You can also let them know that some things they cannot decide on, but other things they can help with the decision. If kids feel heard during the process, they are able to adjust to the changes easier.

While you may need some mediation to work through emotions, or to use an app like 2houses to communicate through, never work through this stuff with your kids present. Avoid saying negative things about the other parent or arguing together. If you are having a tough time doing so, agree to use the app for communication until you are able to work through the emotions around your separation.

Tip Number Two: Set Boundaries

Boundaries can be difficult when you are used to having constant access to your child and your ex partner but it is something that you should set for the entire family. This means that when you child is with the other parent, you do not contact the child or break into their visitation time. Another point is that you need to set boundaries on how your relationship will be with your ex partner. If you are at a place where you can start doing activities with the kids together, then discuss what will work better for all. If you aren’t, keep your interactions with your ex partner strictly about the kids. This means not discussing other life events happening in each others’ lives. In the future, you may get to that point, but, for now, keep it separate.

Finally, make sure that you set boundaries for your kids that happen in both homes. Rules, schedules and so on should be agreed upon by both parents and followed exactly the same in both households. Stability is important in providing your children with the best transition from one home to two.

Tip Number Three: Use a Mediation App or Platform

Choose a mediation app or platform for you and your ex partner to use. When you have a mediator, you can reduce a lot of the tension that comes with it. In addition, you can organize schedules, balance shared expenses and keep your ex partner involved with all aspects of their child’s life. When you use a mediation app, such as 2houses, you are able to really focus on what matters, which is making sure that your kids are thriving even when they are living in two separate houses.

In addition, you can focus on your own needs as you move through separation without your children experiencing as much turmoil as they would if you and your ex partner continue having to work through conflict topics and tension.

While it may not seem like a lot, following these three tips can help ensure the transition from a single household to two separate ones goes smoothly. It will take time, and patience, but you can move forward and your children will appreciate the efforts that you are making to ensure that their well-being and happiness comes first.

Navigating can be tricky, but it doesn’t have to be when you follow these tips and when you take the step to use 2houses.

Parenting…before I ever was a parent, I said to myself, I will never count to three…never. Kids will understand consequences of actions and because of how I’ll parent, we’ll never get to those counts. Then we ended up counting to three…and then, as I went through my separation and divorce, I found myself counting to get through my own emotions that were bubbling to the surface.

But I wanted to stop counting. Life happens and that means that sometimes, even with the best of intentions things don’t work out…just like when I started counting up to three to get my preschooler to listen.

And I realized that I needed to listen to be an effective co-parent. This meant listening to the needs of my kids, listening to the concerns of my ex partner and listening to what I wanted to achieve as well. And that achievement was a new normal where my ex partner and I could co-parent effectively.

Which brings me to 2houses. Not only did it really help set the tone for how my ex partner and I co-parent, but it also helped remove that tension that was leading to those moments when all I could do was count in an effort to reduce my frustration. So how did it help me co-parent effectively?

It Removed those Conflict Topics From Our Daily Communication

The first thing that 2houses did to help us co-parent effectively was to separate out those conflict topics through the use of the app. My ex partner and I could discuss finances, shared expenses and scheduling all through the app and it was incredibly easy to agree on things such as schedule changes that were needed.

With the platform dealing with those harder topics that usually bring out a lot of tension, we were able to focus any conversations we did have around the needs of the kids and we found that it was easier to have civil conversations during hand offs. We agreed to use the app for anything that could lead to a potential argument so when we were interacting, the kids didn’t see us fighting.

Created Predictability and Stability for Our Kids

While the calendar on the app really made it easy for us to create predictability for the kids, the other features on the platform allowed us to create stability. If things happened at one house or another, we could write journals to let the other parent know what happened. If a routine wasn’t working properly, we could send messages to problem solve it in the easiest manner possible.

This was important for us to create homes that had the same routines, rules and boundaries so our kids had the stability between two homes. They didn’t have additional stress by having constantly changing rules and routines as we were both on the same page.

Allowed our Kids to Stay Connected

While a major rule that we follow, and one that 2houses recommends for families, is never to infringe on the time parents are spending together, kids are kids. Sometimes, my kids wanted me when they were with my parent and vice versa. It is normal, especially since they are going through a transition like my ex partner and I were.

The 2houses platform was amazing for this because kids could initiate contact no matter where they were. We gave them each their own access to the platform and they could share messages and photos with my ex partner, and with me when they were not with me, as they wanted to. Because it was usually just quick messages back and forth, it doesn’t feel like our time is being cut into and the kids can touch base to recenter themselves as they need.

It helped us co-parent more effectively because we could really tune in on what our kids needed. We could also connect together when the kids were having a harder time with the separation and come up with strategies to ensure that they felt connected to both of us, even when they weren’t with us.

Balanced our Budgets so Money Stopped Being an Issue

I already mentioned this with conflict topics since money is one of the biggest conflict topics that you can face as co-parenting. Even with firm financial and child support agreements, finances can be a hard topic that causes a lot of conflicts between co-parents. Which is why 2houses really takes the stress out of finances.

With the app, we were able to keep track of all the monthly expenses that we had for the kids. These were routine expenses that we both agreed to share responsibility for as well as any emergency expenses that came up in the month. Plus, we could slot in things like year end field trips for the kids or when they needed new clothes.

We were also able to purchase those larger gifts together using the wish list feature in the finances and agreed to do the gift giving during a time when we were meeting for a handoff with the kids. It really did make the difference and created a new family dynamic for our kids where we were cooperating and co-parenting effectively.

While it hasn’t been 100% easy, 2houses offered a lot of options for us to step back and allow the platform to be the mediator. We were able to really stop taking shots at each other and realize that us separating, while not the easiest or anything we really wanted, was the best option for us and for our kids.

By using the platform, we were able to get back to the job of parenting and our kids have truly thrived in this new arrangement where they can feel the stability, and predictability we’ve forged through the app all while feeling the support that comes from two parents who love them—regardless of whether they are in the same home or not.

And for me, the only counting I’ve done is being able to count all the ways that 2houses has enabled me to co-parent effectively.

In the UK, parents have legal responsibilities as well as rights from the very moment they become parents. However, what many parents don’t understand is that those legal responsibilities and rights are maintained even if they are not the primary legal guardian. Not understanding your rights can complicate co-parenting so let’s take some time going over your legal rights, responsibilities (also known as parental responsibility) and how it applies to co-parenting in the UK.

What is Parental Responsibility?

In the UK, parental responsibility is a term that covers both the legal rights and responsibilities that parents have when it comes to their children. With parental responsibility, parents are required to cover two main roles for the child:

1. Provide a home
2. Protect and maintain

Protect and maintain covers a wide range of responsibilities that the child will need on the day to day. These are:

1. Providing medical care and treatment
2. Ensuring financial support of that child
3. Disciplining the child
4. Maintaining and caring for the child’s property
5. Providing education

Another responsibility, which is not usually under consideration during separation and divorce is the naming of the child; however, there is a legal right to being able to agree to any name changes of the child at any time. 

Parental responsibility is having a say in how your child is raised while also needing to maintain the basic needs of your child. 

Who Does Parental Responsibility Pertain To?

First, all mothers have parental responsibility from the moment of birth. This is only relinquished through adoption, and rarely through court processes that prove abuse. Fathers, however, do not always have parental responsibility, but there are a few ways that they can gain parental responsibility. These are:

1. Being named as the father (or other parent) on the birth certificate
2. Marriage to the child’s mother

It should be noted that where you are in the UK can affect the father’s parental responsibility. In the UK and Wales, if the parents are married when the child is born or adopted, they both have parental responsibility. In Scotland, this applies to children born or adopted when partners are married or get married after the child is born. And in Northern Ireland, it applies to marriage after the child is born only if the father resides in Northern Ireland at the time of the marriage.

One thing that should be mentioned is that same sex partners who are in a civil partnership at the time of the child’s birth have equal parental responsibility. However, if they were not, they would have to apply for parental responsibility. In the UK, parental responsibility can be applied for by fathers, same sex partners, and stepfathers/parents. In addition, there can be more than two adults who have parental responsibility of a child. 

If the mother is unwilling to agree to parental responsibility with her partner, it can be processed through a court order.

What is Parental Responsibility in Separation and Divorce?

Now that we understand parental responsibility and how it applies to fathers and mothers, it is important to quickly understand UK law around divorce and children. 

First, regardless of parental responsibility, historically, mothers often have more legal rights over the children than fathers do. This is because, traditionally, mothers have been seen as primary caregivers to their children and while these roles have been changing over the last few decades, fathers with equal parental responsibility may not be seen as equal caregivers.

Second, during court proceedings, courts tend to rule in favour of the mother for primary residence but this is not always the case.

Third, even if the primary home is not with the father, this does not diminish the legal rights of the father. Generally, day to day decisions based on care are the responsibility of the mother when she is the primary caregiver; however, major decisions have to be agreed upon by both parents.

Finally, if the primary home is with the father, it is important to note that a mother cannot be denied contact with her child or be denied the right to make decisions about her child. The only time a mother does not have that legal responsibility is, again, if abuse or neglect is proven or if the mother gives up her parental rights. 

What Does This Mean for Co-Parenting

Now that we know a lot of the legalities, what does that mean for co-parenting your child? There are a few things that you should know.

1. You have parental responsibility for your child, regardless of if you live with them or not. This means that all major decisions about your child’s life must include you and your ex-partner.
2. Routine decisions do not need permissions from both parents. While it makes it easier to have the permission of both, which makes the 2Houses app an essential tool for co-parenting, only one parent needs to give permission. For instance, if your child always spent Wednesday evenings with his grandparents, you would not need to get permission to continue this practice after the divorce.
3. Decisions should be made in writing. This is applied to major decisions. If you want to move abroad with your child, both parents have to agree to it in writing. These documents can be stored on the 2Houses app.
4. Child support is one of the responsibilities of parental responsibility and you and your ex-partner will have to discuss what those responsibilities will look like.

In the end, co-parenting can be agreed upon by court order. However, it is good for you to talk to your ex-partner of how you will split up the responsibilities, where the children will reside, visitation schedules and the finer details. Both parents have rights and responsibilities and the sooner they can come to an agreement on how that will be split after the divorce, the sooner life can return to a routine that where your children will thrive. 

Blending families after a divorce can be a complex and challenging process. However, it is increasingly common in today’s society. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 16% of children in the United States live in blended families.

The new family dynamic can be challenging, especially when step-parenting, new siblings, and competing loyalties are involved. However, building a strong and loving blended family is possible with the right mindset and approach. 

In this article, we’ll explore some tips and strategies for navigating the complexities of blended families after divorce, focusing on the USA’s divorced/separated parents.

Tips To Use in Adapting to New Family Dynamics 

Blending families after a divorce is a journey that requires patience, resilience, and understanding. It is a time of transition that involves getting to know new family members, learning to adapt to new family dynamics, and navigating new challenges. Below are a few tips to follow;

• Patience

Patience is one of the most important things to remember when blending families after divorce. It takes time to build relationships and create a sense of family. It’s essential to be open to the different personalities and dynamics that come with blending families and to be flexible and understanding when things don’t go according to plan.

• Establishing Clear Boundaries

Another vital aspect of blending families after divorce is establishing clear boundaries. This involves setting household rules, expectations, and responsibilities and ensuring everyone is on the same page. Clear communication is critical when establishing limitations, and ensuring everyone’s voices are heard is essential.

• Making Adjustments

In addition to communication, it’s also important to be open to feedback and willing to make adjustments when necessary. Blended families often comprise people from different backgrounds with different values and beliefs. Listening to different perspectives and adjusting your approach can help create a more harmonious family environment.

• Seeking Support

In addition to these tips, seeking support when needed is important. Blending families after divorce can be challenging, and it’s important to have a support system to help you navigate the ups and downs. This might include talking to a therapist or counselor, attending a support group, or contacting other blended families for advice and support.

Challenges to Face When Blending Families After Divorce 

1. Step-parenting

Step-parenting can be incredibly challenging when blending families after divorce. Step-parents may struggle to find their place in the family or feel like they are stepping on the toes of the biological parent. Step-parents must establish a positive relationship with their step-children while respecting the biological parent’s role in the family. This may involve finding common ground, setting boundaries, and finding ways to build trust and respect. 

Here are some tips to help step-parents and children build positive relationships:

• Build trust: Step-parents need to build trust with their step-children. This can be done by being consistent, following promises, and showing interest in their lives.

• Respect boundaries: It’s essential to respect the boundaries of the children and their biological parents. Stepping in too quickly or trying to discipline the children can create tension and conflict.

• Communicate openly: Communication is critical in any relationship but is imperative in blended families. Encourage open communication between all family members and ensure everyone feels heard and valued.

2. New Siblings 

Blended families after divorce can also involve the arrival of new siblings. This can be challenging for the latest and existing siblings, as they may need to learn to share their parents’ attention and resources. Parents must take the time to help their children adjust to the new family dynamics and encourage positive sibling relationships.

Here are some tips to help children adjust to new siblings:

• Encourage bonding: Encourage siblings to spend time together and get to know each other. This can be done through family activities, game nights, or outings.

• Respect individuality: It’s essential to recognize and respect the uniqueness of each child. Allow each child to have their interests and hobbies and make sure they feel valued for who they are.

• Avoid comparisons: Comparing children to each other can create tension and resentment. Instead, focus on each child’s strengths and encourage them to work together as a team.

• Blended families: Navigating the complexities of blending families after divorce, including step-parenting, new siblings, and competing loyalties

3. Competing Loyalties

Competing loyalties can also be a challenge when blending families after divorce. Children may feel caught between their loyalty to their biological parents and their loyalty to their new family members. Parents must create a safe and supportive environment where children feel free to express their feelings and concerns and provide reassurance and support as required.

Here are some tips to help manage competing loyalties:

• Encourage communication: Encourage open communication between all family members. This can help address any concerns or feelings of tension that may arise.

• Respect boundaries: It’s essential to respect the boundaries of the children and their biological parents. Allow them to maintain their relationship while building a new one with the step-parent.

• Create new traditions: Create new family traditions that involve everyone in the family. This can help create a sense of unity and belonging.

Benefits of Blended Families 

Blending families can be challenging for everyone involved but can also be a positive experience. Here are some benefits of blended families:

1. Increased Support 

Blended families can provide children with increased emotional and financial support. Children may have more adults who care for them and can provide support in times of need.

2. New Perspectives

Blended families bring together people from different backgrounds and experiences, providing opportunities to learn and grow from each other’s views.

3. Resilience

Blended families have the opportunity to develop stability and strength by overcoming challenges and working through difficulties.

Final Thoughts

Blending families after divorce is a challenging but rewarding process. You can build a strong and loving blended family by being patient, establishing clear boundaries, being open to feedback, and seeking support when needed. 

It’s important to remember that every family is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. Your blended family can become a strong and loving unit with time, patience, and a positive attitude.

Life is busy, even at the best of times. During separation and divorce, it can become hectic, stressful and it is very easy to become overwhelmed with tasks that used to be considered easy. Trying to co-parent in separate homes can lead to more confusion, especially if there are tensions between your ex-partner and yourself. However, even with tensions, there are still ways that families can co-parent effectively to help lower those tensions while providing stability for their children. 

And, of course, the key to that effective co-parenting is through having the right tools. 2houses is an app that makes co-parenting easy, lowers tensions and creates that stability your children need. There are countless benefits and we are going to go through some of the major ones the app offers.

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #1: User Intuitive

First, before we even get into the benefits of the app for your family, let’s start by looking at the app itself. 2houses was designed in 2011 by a divorced father in an attempt to communicate and organize with his ex-partner. His goal was to create a tool that improved communication and the everyday life of his son before realizing that the app was amazing for all families working through the process of separation and divorce. 

With a better day to day life with less tension, the app delivers everything parents need to raise children between 2houses.  Some of the features, which can be accessed on computer and mobile device are:

1. Calendar: One of the key features, the app has a calendar that is colour coordinated and can be synced to other platforms, such as Google Calendar. It is easy to use and parents can use it for both scheduling and communication. Care arrangements, appointments and events can be scheduled in as can requests for changes to those arrangements, such as holidays. When requests are made, the other parent is alerted and can send messages, accept or deny the request.
2. Albums: While there is a journal feature, which we will look at next, 2Houses also has photo albums built right into the program so both parents can access photos of their children. This is great for events, such as a soccer game, that one parent can’t attend. They can easily access the photos of the event through the app’s album. 
3. Journal: Think of social media but all of it is 100% private and shared just between co-parents. Information, photos, videos, documents and anything important regarding your children can be placed in the journal for both parents to access. 
4. Contacts and Information Bank: Another feature, the information bank stores and organizes important information such as contact details of schools, friends and doctors, etc. as well as medical information and even the size of the kids’ clothing.
5. Documents: Finally, there is a section on the app that allows the storage of important documents that both parents can share. This can include birth certificates, passports and parenting agreements. 

Having everything easy to access means that communication is easier and parents can focus on the important issues. Co-parents have everything they need to make life easier for their kids as they adjust to living in two households.

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #2: Child Friendly

The next benefit of 2houses is that it is very child friendly. Remember that it is user intuitive and that was designed for communication. While we often focus on the communication between parents, it is important to open up communication with the kids so they can understand what is happening. 

2houses allows for that in one simple way. Kids can be added to the platform and can look at the calendar and schedule to see when things are happening and who they will be staying with. They’ll also be able to send journal entries and photos with their parents when they aren’t with them. This connection builds a bond of trust for the child and the stability of knowing a schedule will aid them as they navigate through the emotional impact of separation and divorce.

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #2: Reduces Confusion

One of the most common problems that arise with co-parenting is confusion. This can be through missed messages, forgetting to remind the other parent of an event or not remembering to update when there is a change in schedules. Confusion can lead to other emotions and can cause underlying tensions that parents don’t want their kids to pick up on.

A huge benefit of the 2houses app is that it reduces confusion. As long as both parents are using the app, there won’t be any missed notifications regarding activities, changes in care plans and so on. Parents will know when things are happening and everything will be accessible if there is an emergency. Less confusion means less stress for everyone, including the kids. 

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #4: Opens Up Communication

A breakdown of communication is something that can happen during separation and divorce—often because there are other tensions and emotions at play. However, when it comes to co-parenting, communication is very important for everyone involved, especially for the kids.

The 2houses app allows for parents to communicate even when they are not communicating verbally. The app is a neutral third party and keeps kids from being messengers of information. Anything important that needs to be communicated can be shared on the app and, many times, having this neutral option for communication can open up co-parenting in surprising ways. 

Benefit of Using 2houses for Co-Parenting #5: Allows for Involvement

Finally, involvement is an important benefit of 2houses. Parents can stay involved with their kids whether they are at home or at their other parent’s house. They can see what is going on, work out arrangements to be at those big events and they can keep up with their obligations in an organized way. We all want to be involved with our kids and having an app that makes it automatic and simple provides the best options throughout co-parenting. 

As you can see, there are many different benefits to using a co-parenting app and 2houses is unique in that it was created by someone facing the same obstacles of co-parenting effectively. The creator knew the challenges and the app is designed to overcome those challenges…which is the biggest benefit of them all. 

Introduction

Divorcing can be an emotionally challenging experience for both parents and children. While it is appropriate to acknowledge the pain and grief that comes with divorce, it is also imperative to focus on helping your child build resilience in moving forward.

According to the National Institute for Health Statistics, 10 million children (14% of the population) live in divorced or separated households. By understanding your child’s unique needs, you can create a supportive environment that encourages healthy emotional development and well-being.

Continue reading about strategies for helping your child build resilience after divorce and promote positive emotional health.

Strategy for Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Health and Well-Being after a Divorce

Around 80% of divorced children adapt smoothly and have no long-term negative effects on their academics, social adjustment, or mental health. Children who grow up in households with much squabbling, antagonism, and dissatisfaction are more likely to develop mental health illnesses and behavioral issues.

As a consequence, it is typical for youngsters to struggle with their emotions and behavior immediately after parental separation. Divorce may be a challenging experience for children, so it is imperative to concentrate on their mental health and well-being during this time. Encourage self-care, maintain a stable and supportive family environment, and create strong bonds with your kid. 

Self-care is critical for maintaining mental health and well-being, and encouraging children to engage in self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or writing may assist them in managing stress and anxiety. Positive coping skills and stress-reduction approaches may help kids build resilience and deal with difficult emotions.

Resilience in Children: Strategies to Strengthen Your Kids

Divorce may be a difficult event for children. Therefore, it is critical to help them build resilience to the upheaval. The capacity to recover from setbacks and adapt to new conditions is called resilience. Resilience is a talent that can be learned and improved over time, and parents may play a vital role in assisting their children in developing resilience.

One of the most effective strategies to boost children’s resilience is providing a stable and supportive environment. Children want safety and security, which parents may provide by keeping a regular schedule and creating a stable home environment. Even during upheaval and uncertainty, this may help them feel anchored and comfortable.

What Strategy Should You Use?

The strategy to assist children in building resilience is to help them create a positive outlook. This might include encouraging them to concentrate on their strengths and successes rather than their flaws and failings. Parents may also assist their children in developing a growth mindset by teaching them that setbacks and obstacles are chances for development and learning.

It is also critical to educate children about coping strategies to assist them in dealing with stress and worry. Teaching them relaxation methods such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga may help. It may also include teaching kids problem-solving techniques and encouraging them to seek assistance from trustworthy people such as parents, teachers, or counselors.

Parents may assist their children in developing resilience by modeling resilient behavior. This may include using healthy coping skills such as positive self-talk, exercise, and self-care. It may also involve exhibiting endurance in the face of difficulties and disappointments.

It takes time and works to develop resilience in children, but it is a necessary trait that may help them succeed in the face of hardship. Parents may help their children build the strength they need to handle the difficulties of divorce and beyond. This is done by providing a stable and supportive environment, teaching them coping strategies, and modeling resilient behavior.

Ways to Raise Happy, Resilient Kids after a Divorce

Divorce may be difficult, but raising happy, resilient children in the aftermath is possible. The idea is to concentrate on having a stable and supportive family environment that fosters positive emotional health and well-being. Here are some ideas for parenting resilient children after divorce:

• 1. Concentrate on co-parenting: Co-parenting might be difficult, but collaborating is critical to provide a stable and supportive home environment for your children. This might include establishing regular norms and routines, talking freely and politely, and working together to make choices for your children’s well-being and interests.
• 2. Promote open communication: Children must feel comfortable discussing their thoughts and concerns with their parents. Open communication may help youngsters feel supported and heard, promoting their emotional health and well-being.
• 3. Encourage healthy connections: Children need positive relationships with both their parents and other adults, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends. These interactions give children additional sources of support and guidance, which can help them grow resilience.
• 4. Give chances for fun and play: Children need opportunities for joy and play, even during stress and uncertainty. Offering children a chance to have fun and space may help them feel joyful and engaged, promoting their emotional health and well-being.
• 5. Get help: Divorce may be a complicated process for parents. Therefore it is critical to seek help when required. Talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or asking friends and family for assistance may help.

Things Not to Say to a Child in Divorce

Divorce may be a challenging experience for children; therefore, it is crucial to be cautious of what you say to them at this time. These are some things not to speak to a divorced child:

• 1. “It’s all your fault”: Holding your child responsible for the divorce may be devastating, leading to guilt and humiliation. Avoid blaming children for the divorce and instead concentrate on building a supportive and stable family environment.
• 2. “Your other parent is a nasty person”: Negative comments about the other parent may harm children and cause uncertainty and worry. It is critical to avoid disparaging the other parent instead of concentrating on co-parenting and fostering a healthy home environment.
• 3. “I wish things had been different”: Expressing regret or grief about the divorce may be difficult for children to hear, leading to emotions of fear and uncertainty and concentrating on maintaining a pleasant home environment and giving children the support and direction they need to flourish after a divorce is critical.
• 4. “I don’t have time for you right now”: While divorce may be difficult for parents, it is critical to prioritize your children’s needs and offer them the support and attention they need. You must not ignore your children during this period and instead concentrate on providing a supportive and stable home environment.
• 5. “You shouldn’t feel that way”: Validating children’s feelings may be very harmful, leading to uncertainty and fear. Validating children’s emotions and providing them with the support and direction they need to manage the obstacles of divorce is critical.

Conclusion: Building Child’s Resilience after Divorce

Parents may help their children develop resilience and flourish after divorce by concentrating on co-parenting, supporting open communication, establishing solid connections, offering chances for fun and play, and getting assistance when required.

You may help your children develop resilience and flourish after divorce by being attentive to what you say to them throughout the divorce. You may help your children by concentrating on self-care, development of coping skills, time for fun and play, accessing assistance, and providing a stable and supportive home environment.

At this time, it is a must to be patient and understanding. In addition, it is a must to offer your children the support and advice they need to manage divorce problems.

More than forty percent of all American families are blended families. At some point in their lives, most people may find themselves moving from a ‘blended’ state to a ‘traditional’ family setting.

In other words, they may find themselves part of a step or blended family.

Whether you are interested in becoming part of a step-family or you already are and you’re looking for some advice and information on how to navigate this unique situation, you’ve come to the right place.

Below, we’ve put together our top stepfamily and blended family tips for you to check out.

Set Realistic Expectations

Setting realistic expectations is crucial when it comes to blended family life. After a divorce, parents and children may already be dealing with feelings of loss and upheaval.

Adding a stepmom or stepfather to the mix can further complicate things. This is particularly the case if expectations are unrealistic.

Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment, resentment, and even conflict.

To set realistic expectations, parents, stepmoms, and stepfathers should communicate openly and honestly about their hopes and concerns. They should take the time to get to know each other and build trust.

This includes discussing important issues such as discipline, family traditions, and routines.

It is also important to have an open mind and be flexible. But you should still try to create clear boundaries and set expectations.

For example, a stepmom might expect to instantly bond with her stepchildren and have the same level of authority as their biological mother.

But this may not be realistic, particularly if the children are still dealing with the aftermath of their parent’s divorce.

Instead, the stepmom could set the expectation that building a strong relationship with the children will take time. She could also communicate with the biological mother to establish clear boundaries around parenting roles.

Be a Great Communicator

One of the best ways that you can be a great communicator is by using “I” statements.

“I” statements are a type of communication that focuses on expressing how you feel. It is a much better idea to do this than it is to place blame and pointing fingers.

By using “I” statements, you’ll be taking responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. This can help to prevent conflict in conversations.

You should structure “I” statements to begin with the word “I.” You’ll then need to follow with a specific feeling or emotion. This might include “I feel frustrated when…” or “I am concerned about…”.

Address Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up. But it can be a challenging issue for parents to navigate.

Addressing sibling rivalry is important for fostering a healthy and positive family environment.

One of the first steps in addressing sibling rivalry is to acknowledge it and talk about it openly. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it’s important to stay positive.

You should also emphasize the importance of treating each other with kindness and respect.

Determine the Household Rules

During the divorce process, or after a child custody evaluation, establishing clear and consistent household rules can help to create a stable environment for children.

When determining household rules, make sure to involve everyone in the conversation. This can include talking with your children about their needs and concerns.

You should try to work together to establish rules that are fair and appropriate for everyone in the family. By doing this, you will create a sense of ownership and accountability.

This will help to promote positive behavior and respect for the rules. You’ll also need to establish consequences for breaking the rules, and enforce those consequences consistently.

This can help create a sense of predictability and stability in your home.

Nurture Family Bonds

A strong family bond provides children with a sense of security and support. This will also promote positive social, emotional, and cognitive development.

One of the best ways to nurture family bonds is by prioritizing activities that foster meaningful connections. When you are creating a parenting plan, it’s a good idea to identify what these activities are.

One of the best ways to nurture family bonds is to spend time together as a family. This can include activities like family dinners, game nights, and outings to local parks.

By spending quality time together, you will create a sense of togetherness and closeness with those who you care about.

Parent Together and Not Separately

When parents work together, they will create a sense of unity within the family. Also, when parents work together, they can more effectively model positive behavior and problem-solving skills for their children.

One of the best ways to parent together is to establish a clear and consistent approach to parenting. This can include agreeing on rules and consequences for behavior and consistently enforcing those rules and consequences.

Another key aspect of parenting together is effective communication. You will need to be willing to listen to one another’s perspectives and concerns.

You will also need to commit yourselves to working together.

Blended Family and Step-Parenting Tips

It can be challenging to figure out how to be a great parent if you live in a blended family or if you are a step-parent.

This is why it is such a good idea to familiarize yourself with the top tips and tricks. Make sure to set clear expectations and to be a great communicator. You should also take action to address sibling rivalry.

Are you ready to start improving your family life? If so, 2houses is here to help you. Don’t hesitate to visit our Key Features page to get started today!

Divorce is one of the top five most stressful life events that people go through. Not only is it a stressful matter to endure, but the fallout continues when you try to handle your parenting matters apart from your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

You can make this entire process easier by making good decisions during the separation period.

These tips will help you manage your separation as parents so that you can divorce in peace while also coming up with long-term strategies for raising your kids.

1. Look at Each Other as Parents First

When you split from your spouse, you might have some grudges and resentment that you hold against them. It might take some time to heal and get over these issues.

Keep in mind the importance of your child having an involved mother or father, and look at them as a parent first. Having this level of grace and understanding will prevent you from holding things against them and will make communication for parenting decisions much easier while raising children.

2. Resolve to Have a Peaceful Divorce

Make sure that you also prioritize peace during the divorce process. Divorce is stressful on its own, and turning it into a battle makes it even more stressful than it has to be.

Compromise with your spouse and make it a cooperative divorce process.

3. Speak to a Family Mediator

Don’t wait to get the help of a professional that can help smooth things out for you and your spouse during your separation and divorce proceedings.

Get the help of a professional mediator that can help you communicate and create workable compromises. Leading with a mediator rather than a lawyer is important because a mediator is impartial and works for both of you.

4. Have Honest Conversations With Your Children

Prioritize your kids above all during this process. Open the floor for them to discuss how they feel about the divorce process. Listen without trying too hard to shape their perspective while reassuring them that this doesn’t change how both parents feel about them.

Become intentional about checking in with your child and discussing things with them so that this link remains strong once you’re raising them in two households.

5. Come Up With Parenting Strategies

The most important thing you can do during the process of divorce with children is create parenting strategies that you both can stick to. Consider everything from the child’s education, extracurricular activities, religion, friendship, and other details. Communicate with each other every step of the way, and formalize your parenting strategies as much as possible.

Having an ironclad parenting plan takes the ambiguity out of the situation and lets you both know how you contribute.

6. Set Your Home Up With Kids in Mind

Regardless of the custody arrangement, you need to make sure that your home is set up with kids in mind. Both parents should do their best to give their kids their own bedroom and areas where they can play, do their homework, and live life as a kid without a significant drop-off in either home.

It’ll be easier to have your time with your kids when the environment is set up for it.

7. Get Therapy and Healing

During the separation, make sure that you are also taking care of yourself. Divorce can take a psychological and emotional toll for many years to come. The best way through this is by seeking the help of a licensed therapist.

Book an appointment to talk to a therapist once a week for the foreseeable future. This is a safe place to unpack all aspects of the divorce and how you feel about it so that you can move forward and be the best individual and parent you can be.

Practice other forms of self-care as well to help with the healing process. Regularly exercising, eating clean foods, and taking care of yourself can help you more than anything else.

8. Document Things Regularly

Operate with your spouse in good faith, always give them a chance, and do your best to see their point of view. However, make sure that you’re also documenting aspects of your parental arrangement in case there are ever court matters that need to be hashed out.

It’s best to document these things as you go so that you’re not scrambling for evidence when you need it.

9. Handle Your Legal Matters

Your separation will also be more peaceful when you know that you’re properly handling your legal matters. Hire a family attorney that can answer all of your questions and lay the groundwork for your strategies.

From there, you can move forward with intention and handle business one step at a time.

10. Recognize That Things Aren’t Always Exactly 50/50

Adjust your definition of fairness as it pertains to raising your child in two different households. With separated families, fairness should involve what’s best for the child while also allowing both parents to contribute and get the time that they need and deserve.

However, life happens, and there will never be a precise 50/50 split with everything. Strive to be respectful and fair, speak your mind, and find workable solutions every step of the way.

Do What’s Best for Your Family

Parents going through a divorce need to use some strategies that will help them keep their families together.

2houses can help you when you’re trying to come up with parenting tips and strategies that will help you raise your family peacefully and productively. Contact us online

If you’re a married person who thinks that your marriage might be over, you’re not alone. Nearly 38% of marriages end in divorce.

The bright side is that this means you have resources that can help you get through even the toughest part of the divorce process. For most people, the hardest part is figuring out how to parent your kids in two different households.

Read on to get some divorce coparenting tips that will help you out.

How Does Divorce Affect Children?

Divorce takes a significant emotional toll on kids in many cases. Babies learn about the world through their parents and their household, and this foundation solidifies as kids get older and mature into adults.

When that foundation is fractured, it’s natural that a child’s sense of security and wholeness might be threatened. This can have psychological and emotional effects well throughout childhood and beyond.

Studies show that teenagers from divorced households are three times more likely to need mental health counseling. Some other ways that divorce takes a toll on children includes:

• Struggling with school grades and performance
• Are more likely to act out with their behavior
• A stronger likelihood of substance abuse
• Higher dropout rate
• Difficulty in romantic and interpersonal relationships

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get divorced if there’s no fixing your marriage. However, consider this potential toll as you and your soon-to-be ex figure out strategies for raising your children post-marriage.

What Is Divorce Coparenting?

Divorce coparenting is the best-case scenario if you’d like to get a clean split from each other while still doing what’s best for your kids. With co-parenting, you get to go through the divorce process cooperatively and create solutions that will help you do what’s best for your children.

There are some helpful steps you can follow to create the ideal coparenting relationship and agreements.

Get Divorce Mediation

The first thing you should do is agree to sit down with professional mediators. Mediators are impartial professionals that can help the two of you negotiate and speak your mind without making the process contentious.

Working with professional mediators starts your divorce process with cooperation in mind and opens lines of communication. Going to mediation makes it easier for you two to come to agreements without letting squabbles get in the way.

Consult With an Attorney

Though cooperation is the name of the game, you still owe it to yourself to get sound legal advice. A divorce attorney will sit down and discuss the circumstances of your marriage and divorce. During the consultation, the lawyer will ask your goals for the divorce, and will talk about your assets and whether you have a prenup.

Once you hire a lawyer, they’ll also provide you with advice on how to move forward. Perhaps most importantly, your attorney will advise you so that you don’t make costly legal mistakes.

Come to Terms on the Most Important Things

Once you know that you can openly speak to your spouse, treat your conversations in a business-like fashion. Start hashing out the most important details of parenthood, such as child support, child custody arrangements, visitation, and other issues.

You’ll need to work them into an agreement that you can put before the judge, so get as detailed as possible. Having these discussions on your own is more productive and less painful than deciding everything piece by piece through several tense hearings.

When you create your agreement outside of court, the rest is a formality.

Discuss Your Family Vision

Take time to also discuss how you want to move forward as a family in a holistic sense. Talk about things like your kids’ activities, where they’ll attend school, religious beliefs, and other important matters.

Don’t be afraid to have the hard conversations, and never assume you’re on the same page about things unless they’re verbalized. Getting a divorce is only the beginning – you’ll need to get comfortable having these conversations for as long as you’re raising your children together and beyond.

The sooner you can get comfortable and develop a rapport, the more productive these conversations will be over time.

Take Care of Your Personal Health

Ending your marriage is hard, so do everything you can to take care of yourself. It can take a toll on your stress, health and emotions, so practice self-care to the best of your ability.

Make sure that you get sleep, eat healthy, and exercise regularly. Avoiding unhealthy habits and promoting healthy ones produces positive endorphins that can ease stress, anxiety, and depression.

You can also get divorce help in the form of mental health professionals. They will help you unpack your emotions and work through them so that you can heal and move forward. Don’t rush back into the dating market, and take as much time as you need.

Embrace your hobbies and find meaning in your work. The better you take care of yourself, the easier it’ll be for you to remain active in the divorce process and coparenting.

Work Through the Divorce Process

Divorce coparenting can be a difference-maker when applied correctly. The best thing this does is keep the temperature down. When emotions are low and not contentious, you’re more likely to get a quality outcome. This is necessary for everyone involved, and perhaps your kids will benefit most.

2houses can help you when you’re interested in strategies that can help you get through your divorce. To learn more, contact us on our site.