Divorce is challenging and overwhelming as it is. However, if you add in the interference and scrutiny from outside parties, it gets even more difficult. When the divorcing parties are high-profile or affluent, privacy can seem like a luxury.

Working with seasoned divorce attorneys is the first step you can take to maintain your privacy during the proceedings. Other ways you can effectively keep sensitive details out of the public eye include:

Tip #01: Avoid Social Media

If you are not careful, social media can easily derail divorce proceedings. Keep in mind that creating hostile posts about the other party can have negative repercussions in court. For the time being, keep your security settings private.

It is also recommended that you encourage family and friends not to post anything negative about the divorce or your significant other. Also, remind them not to leave any negative or derogatory comments on your profile or the other party’s profile.

As a general rule of thumb, don’t share any details about the proceedings with anyone. Moreover, don’t mention anything about it online. If you want to play safe, it would also be a good idea to deactivate your social media account for the time being.

Tip #02: File a Motion to Have Your Case Sealed

This might not be common knowledge, but the public has access to divorce court records. This means any interested party can have access to information and details about your divorce.

In line with this, it would be a good idea to ask your divorce attorney to file a motion to have your case sealed. However, the court needs to grant the motion first before your divorce records are kept out of the public eye.

Tip #03: Ensure Important Documents are Protected

If you are still living with your significant other or if other people are living with you at home, make sure critical documents are kept inside a locked file cabinet or lockbox.

Some of the essential documents you need to secure include your court documents, social security card, and even your medical records.

Tip #04: Be Careful When Answering Personal Questions

While it is customary to confide in close friends and family members during your divorce, you need to still control the information you share with others. When asked personal questions or any information about your divorce, you can politely tell them you would rather not discuss it.

Keep in mind that the less information you share with others, the fewer the complications that can arise.

Tip #05: Consider Mediation

Not all divorce proceedings have to occur in the conventional courtroom. Mediation will enable both parties to work with a mediator. No record will be made of the proceedings in mediation, and no information will become public knowledge.

It is also crucial that you work with a skilled attorney who can guide you and help you decide if mediation is right for you. If both parties agree to work amicably, mediation is an option you can look into.

Tip #06: Avoid Any Drama

The more dramatic and sensational your divorce is, the more interesting it can be to others. Since emotions can run high, it can be challenging to keep all the drama out of the proceedings. Fortunately, you have the option to minimize opportunities for conflict.

Start by limiting your communication with your ex-spouse to email. You also have the option to communicate with the other party through your divorce attorney.

Securing Your Privacy Online

If you are going through a difficult divorce, it is also recommended that you take steps to protect the integrity of your online accounts so you can move forward with confidence and peace of mind. To secure your privacy online, keep the following basics in mind:

Tip #01: Change Your Password

Change all your passwords for unshared personal and financial accounts. If you suspect spyware on your computer at home, change the passwords from a safe computer. Avoid logging in if you think your computer is compromised.

It would also be best to skip the WiFi at home and use a secure MiFi instead. Ensure you log off from shared devices and don’t tick the “remember me” box.

Tip #02: Purchase a New Mobile Phone and Data Plan

While you have the option to change your password and turn off any shared services, you can also consider purchasing a new mobile phone and data plan for your added peace of mind. This can help warrant your spouse won’t have access to your call history and text messages.

Once you have your new phone, make sure you secure it with a fingerprint or PIN and enable the 2-factor authentication. This way, even if your current password is compromised, no one can access your accounts without your new phone.

Tip #03: Check for Spyware

Spyware is a type of software you can install on your phone or computer, usually for a monthly fee. You can use different kinds of spyware to monitor the content of your outgoing and incoming emails, web searches, and text messages.

It is also important to remember that it is illegal to put spyware on your spouse’s computer or phone. If you suspect you are being spied on, check with your divorce lawyer or contact the authorities.

Tip #04: Turn Off Shared Cloud Services and Shared Devices

Consider disabling information-sharing across services and devices, including iCloud, Google, Amazon, Dropbox, and many more. Clouds can be tricky, especially for those who are not tech-savvy. To ensure you don’t miss any crucial steps, it would be a good idea to invest in the help of a technology specialist.

Tip #05: Check Applications on Devices You Own and Disable GPS Permissions

There are instances when spouses put GPS trackers on the other party’s phone without their knowledge. That said, check your list of apps and double-check if you have shared your location with anyone.

Final Thought

If you find any privacy or technology issues challenging to manage during your divorce proceedings, seek the guidance of your divorce attorney. Your divorce lawyer can help ensure you can navigate any privacy issues with ease and go through the proceedings as smoothly as possible.

About the Author:

Andrea Williams is the Community Manager at The Law Offices of Alcock & Associates P.C., a premier law group in Arizona that provides legal services to clients involved in Personal Injury, DUI, Immigration and Criminal cases. She enjoys cooking, reading books and playing minigolf with her friends and family in her spare time.

Divorce is never easy, but it gets more complicated when you have children. Navigating the complexities of coparenting can add more stress to one of the most difficult events in a person’s life. 

The custody arrangement you make can be based on the specific needs of you and your family, custody laws, and even court decisions. For many families, a 50/50 custody agreement is the most desirable so that both parents have equal time with their children. 

If an equal division of child custody is your plan, then consider a 3-3-4-4 schedule. To unpack the specifics, keep reading below.

Benefits of a 50/50 Custody Agreement

When it comes to giving parents equal time with their children, there are many factors to take into account. Make sure you consider the implications of work schedules, frequent communication, and the proximity of parents’ living situations. Depending on your unique agreement, the type of arrangement you need may change over time. 

Sharing time equally between parents and households is a great way to help your children have consistency. It means they get to see both parents and have a predictable schedule that they can count on. During times of upheaval, that can help your children cope with your separated divorce. 

In fact, research shows that kids who spend quality time with both parents following a divorce are better off. They tend to have less stress, which can cause health issues, as well as are better developed and have a better sense of security. 

Of course, there are barriers to 50/50 shared custody that may be unavoidable. If both parents do not live close to one another, then a mid-week hand-off is likely out of the question. Even alternating weeks may not be possible if your children’s school is too far away for one parent to get to during the week. 

In addition, frequent hand-off and exchanges may be required, which may not be a healthy decision if there are lingering tensions. Mid-week exchanges and good communication about school, extra-curricular activities, and other commitments will be necessary. 

How Does the 3-3-4-4 Schedule Work?

If you’ve decided that equal custody is the best way forward for your family, then the 3-3-4-4 schedule is a great option. 

At its most basic, one parent will have the children for three days, then the other parent will have them for three days. After the three days, the first parent will then have the next four days before exchanging again with the second parent for four days. 

While that may sound complicated, it ends up working out much more smoothly than one would think. For most families, the first decision that needs to be made is whether or not one parent will always have weekends or if weekends will be split. 

For a more equitable division, it’s advisable to make sure both families have time during weekends to spend with their kids. Otherwise, the allotted time a parent has with the kids is spent at school and other activities. 

To get started creating a 3-3-4-4 schedule, start with deciding which parent’s days fall first. If it’s Parent A, they can start their three days on Sunday (for example). They’ll get the children Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. At the prearranged exchange time, Parent A will hand the kids off to Parent B for Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. 

At that point, each parent will have had their three days with the kids. On Saturday, Parent B will hand the kids off to Parent A for the next four days: Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Then, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday will be Parent B’s four days. 

The only variation will be every other Saturday. This allows parents to plan ahead for schedules and know when their set days will be from week to week. 

The benefit of the 3-3-4-4 schedule is that your child or children’s school can stay consistent, as well as requires the involvement of both parents. The schedule is predictable and consistent, which can help with transitions. 

Considerations

The start date for the 3-3-4-4 schedule can be any day of the week that works. If parents have non-traditional schedules (such as working weekends), then it may not make sense to start the schedule on Sunday. 

In addition, if both parents don’t live close to one another and your children’s school, then a 3-3-4-4 schedule may not be the best fit. 

You’ll also need to be a strong communicator with your co-parent. You need to be on the same page for drop-off and pick-up times and locations. This is especially true if exchanges will take place after school or following extracurricular activities. 

Good communication is also necessary about school assignments, sports schedules, sleepovers with friends, or grades. Having a plan for how to exchange information, communicate, and be on the same page is vital. 

It might be worth investing in a custody app to help make communication easier for all parties involved. Not only can it help with communication, but can be a great way to compile information in one place for future reference. 

Holidays

One of the downfalls of a 3-4-4-3 schedule is that it does not take holidays and school breaks into account. For the most part, whichever parent has the children on a day when there is also a holiday will get to celebrate with them. 

This can seem unequal and unfair to many parents. For example, one parent may never get to spend Thanksgiving with your kids, since the holiday always falls on a Thursday. The other parent may never get to celebrate Easter as a family. 

You should have a plan in place for how you will deal with these important holidays. There are also court decisions that need to be taken into account, as well as travel arrangements for vacations or visiting family out of town. 

Regardless, there will need to be a certain amount of flexibility and understanding. If you’re not willing to be flexible with the 3-3-4-4 schedule, then another arrangement may be better. 

3-3-4-4 Schedule Variations

Your family’s needs will be unique, depending on your jobs, location, and situation. Your custody arrangement doesn’t have to be exactly what we’ve laid out here. The goal is to have your children spend equal time with both parents throughout the week, but how that looks can vary. 

It will also depend on what days and times you end up exchanging custody. This can also play a role in the amount of time kids spend with both parents, so your schedule may shift to accommodate schedules. 

4-3-3-4 Schedule

If your exchange times are different from week to week, to accommodate a parent’s work schedule, for example, it may work best to have a 4-3-3-4 schedule. 

For the first week, perhaps Parent A gets custody at 3 pm on Saturday. They have the children until 9 am Wednesday, at which point Parent B takes over. Parent B would have the children through Sunday at 3 pm. 

At 3 pm on Sunday, the parents exchange custody until 3 pm on Wednesday, when Parent B takes over again until the 3 pm exchange on Sunday. 

While not exactly three or four full days, the hours each parent spends with their children are equal. 

3-4-4-3 Schedule

If you always want to have a set weekend with your children, then a 3-4-4-3 schedule may help to keep that time set apart and special. In this arrangement, weekend exchanges would always be set (for example, Saturday night). 

The hand-off during the week would change, however. An example schedule is that Parent A would always have custody on Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays. Parent B would always have your child or children on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. The day in flux would be Wednesday, which would alternate between parents every other week. 

This leave weekends set, which can allow for time spent on more fun activities together. During the week, when many kids are in school, the pick up day can alternate between Wednesday and Thursday. 

4-4-3-3 Schedule

You can also switch the order and have the four days fall first in the custody arrangement. Parent A would have the children for 4 days, from Sunday through Wednesday. Parent B would then have custody for 4 days: Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. 

Parent A then has three days with the kids, from Monday to Wednesday. Parent B then has Thursday through Saturday. The exchange days would still be every Wednesday and every other Sunday. 

Split Weekends

Most parents want time on the weekends with their children outside of school hours and commitments. In that case, it’s important to plan your schedule in such a way that both parents have time on the weekends for activities and time together. 

When you decide to split the time on weekends will depend on your preferences and what works for your family. 

3rd Party Time

As kids get older, they can spend more and more time in school, at sports and extracurricular activities, or even with friends. Depending on the night of the week you have custody, that could mean you spend more time chauffering your kids to sports practice, music lessons, or birthday parties. 

This can start to encroach on your time with your kids. It can be helpful to account for 3rd party time, or time when you kids are with neither parent. Calculating this time can help determine who each parent can get equal time with your children. 

Adjustments can be made, perhaps a later pick up time, to allow both parents to enjoy time together with your kids outside of school and pre-arranged activities. 

Other 50/50 Custody Agreement Options

There are many other possibilities to have equal custody of your children if the 3-3-4-4 schedule isn’t for you. Remember, though, that equal time with your children still requires that parents live close to one another and your kids’ school, as well as good communication. 

Alternating Weeks

Sharing custody every other week is the most straightforward option of equal custory. Custody exchanges can take place every Friday night or Saturda morning. That gives each parent an entire weekend together with your kids. 

This schedule allows children to plan for a whole week at a time at one parent’s home and not worry about a mid-week switch. 

Alternating Week with Mid-Week Visit or Overnight

While alternating weeks is consistent, it can feel like a long stretch to go a week at a time without seeing your children. This can be address by a mid-week whichever parent does not have custody that week. It can be as simple as a dinner together or time working on homework. 

You can also add in a mid-week overnight with the opposite parent. Just make sure that the night in question doesn’t not have other commitments such as music lessons or activities that will reduce the amount of time spent together. 

2-2-3

The beauty of a 2-2-3 schedule is that each parents gets a long, 3-day weekend together with your children. This will alternate, so each parent will be able to count and plan on time outside of school commitments and schedules to spend together. 

2-2-5-5

A 2-2-5-5 schedule allows for longer stretches of time together before an exchange occurs. For many parents, when 3 or 4 days go too quickly, a longer amount of time is needed. 

This schedule works similarly to a 3-3-4-4 in which Parent A has two days, Parent B has 2 days, then Parent A has 5 days and Parent B has 5 days. This does create a bit more fluxuation of days, so it’s important to use a calendar to make sure everyone knows who has custody for which days. 

Sharing Custody: How to choose? 

When it comes time for you and your family to settle on a custody arrangement, take some time to weigh your options. Having a consistent and predictable schedule can work wonders as you help your children understand and accept your divorce. 

While a 3-3-4-4 schedule is a great option, make sure everyone understands what it will involve. And in order to help you and your co-parent navigate a new arrangement, make sure you contact us to see how the 2houses App can make your transition easier and more manageable. 

Filing for divorce can be one of the most difficult events that occur in a person’s life, and it is only made more stressful and emotional when children are involved. Coming up with a co-parenting schedule that works for your kids, your spouse, and you is absolutely essential when your children are going to be spending time with both parents.

There are an endless number of options when it comes to 50/50 co-parenting schedules. However, no matter what you end up choosing, you want to make sure that you are organized and that the schedule is well-communicated between both parents.

Are you interested in creating a 3-3-4-4 schedule but aren’t quite sure if it’s the right method for you and your family?

Let’s take a look at what you need to know.

How 3-3-4-4 Schedules Work

When sharing custody of children, you want to create a schedule that prioritizes the needs of the children while also being practical for co-parents.

This is a 50/50 residential schedule. It has your child or children staying with one parent for three days of the week and then the other parent for the next three days. Then, the child stays with the first parent for four days before staying with the other parent for the next four days.

What this does is creates an equal amount of time spent with each parent over a two-week period. You can make different variations on this schedule, having a 4-3-3-4 schedule, a 3-4-3-4 schedule, a 4-3-4-3 schedule, and so on.

Creating a 3-3-4-4 Schedule

You can start a 3-3-4-4 schedule on whatever day of the week makes the most sense for you and your family. If you start on a Monday, then one of the weekends is split between the parents while the other is entirely spent with one parent. The same is true if you start the schedule on Sunday.

It’s important to be organized when it comes to creating parental schedules. The easiest way to make sure everyone understands the plan for the week or month is to use an online interactive calendar. This can help parents manage changes to the schedule without any time conflicts.

What Are the Pros and Cons of This Type of Schedule For Custody?

There are a lot of different 50/50 split custody models you can use to design your schedule. With each of them, there are some benefits and some drawbacks. Depending on your schedule and the schedule of your co-parent, as well as the schedule and needs of the child, one of these types of custody schedules might be more appropriate for your family.

Let’s take a look at some of the benefits of a 3-3-4-4 schedule:

• Every week parents have the same nights with the children except for one night a week that switches
• Each week, children are able to spend a significant amount of time with both parents
• Both parents get to spend an equal amount of time with the children
• The number of exchanges is minimized compared to other schedule models
• Both parents have the opportunity to participate in daily caretaking
• This can be a schedule that works well for parents who have different work schedules
• The children never have to go very long without seeing either of their parents

On the flip side, there are some things that might make this scheduling model less appealing to you and your family. Some of the cons are:

• It can work out that one parent has the children staying with them every weekend
• The children have to be able to adapt to living in two separate houses during the same week
• Co-parents need to be able to communicate about both the schedule and the children frequently
• Co-parents need to have good communication about both the activities and the schoolwork of the child because there is a midweek exchange
• Both parents need to live close to the children’s school and fairly close to one another for this schedule to be practical

When you are creating a custody schedule, you will want to take a look at the work schedule of both you and your co-parent. At the same time, you will need to consider the school and activity schedule for your child. This information can help guide you to choose a schedule that best supports your child and allows both parents to spend time with the children.

(Are you experiencing anxiety as a co-parent? If so, check out these five tips to help you cope with your anxiety.)

Different 50/50 Schedules For Custody

If this custody schedule doesn’t seem right for your family, there are a number of other options. You might find that some of the other choices offer more benefits for the needs of your family, while others might be completely inapplicable to your situation.

Alternating Weeks

In this model, your child spends a week with you and another week with your co-parent. Depending on your schedule, this can be an easy to keep track of schedule that minimizes exchanges. It also allows your children to spend an entire week in each house, which might help them feel more settled and centered.

Some of the pros of alternating weeks with children include:

• Each parent gets to spend a long period of time with the kids
• The exchanges are limited
• The amount of time each parent has with the children is equal
• It can provide consistency for your kids, particularly if they find change difficult
• You can add overnight or midweek visits so that your children can still see the other parent during the week
• It can help your children stay current on homework and other school assignments

On the negative side, the alternating week schedule means that:

• Both parents will need to live near to the school if the children are school-aged
• Some children might find it difficult and uncentering to have two different homes
• Both parents need to live fairly close to one another
• Parents will need to be in good and frequent communication about the children’s activities and school work
• It can be difficult for both the children and the parents to be apart from their kids for a week at a time

If you like the idea of minimizing exchanges for a 50/50 custody schedule, continue reading to learn about an every two-week schedule.

(Are you confused about what expenses legally have to be shared after you get divorced? Check out this resource to learn everything you need to know.)

Two Weeks Each

This is similar to the previous model except that the children spend two weeks with each parent. Some of the pros of this model include:

• Parents can limit the amount of contact they have with each other
• The number of exchanges is limited each month
• It can be a good solution in high-conflict situations
• The parenting time is equal which can lead to fewer schedule conflicts
• The children have the opportunity to live with each parent for an extended period of time
• Parents don’t have to live as close to one another as with schedules with more frequent exchanges
• You can add in overnight or midweek visits if desired
• Both parents have the opportunity to participate in the daily care of the children

On the other hand, some of the downsides of this model can include:

• Parents who have children that are school-age need to both live near the school
• Some children and parents might struggle to be apart for two weeks at a time
• The children have to adapt to having two different residences
• Parents have to communicate and cooperate about the children

If spending this amount of time apart just isn’t going to work for you, let’s check out some of the schedules that break up each week with both parents getting to spend time with the kids.

2-2-5-5 Schedule

This is a schedule where the children spend two days with one parent, two days with the other, five with the first parent, and then five with the second parent. This means that over a two-week period they spend the same amount of time with the children.

This can be good in a number of ways. For one, it allows the kids to spend time with both of their parents during each week. It means that they never have to go a long time without seeing either of their parents and that the parents can have equal time with the kids over the course of the month.

Many people who have nontraditional work schedules find this to be a fitting schedule. It can also work well for children who are young enough to not be in school yet.

Some of the drawbacks include having frequent exchanges that can be difficult to keep track of and might not be ideal in high-conflict situations. This schedule also means that one parent might end up having the kids every weekend.

2-2-3 Schedule

Another schedule that can work with unusual working hours is the 2-3-3 schedule. This allows kids to spend time with each parent during a typical week and means they never have to go too long without seeing either parent.

This model requires frequent exchanges, however. Some children might not adapt well to switching homes on such a regular basis, as it can be hard to ever feel settled in or centered.

Alternating Every Two Days

This is another schedule that might work for some while not being appropriate for other families. While children never have to go long without seeing either parent, it might be hard for them to adapt to switching homes so frequently. Dealing with the logistics of exchanges so often can also be difficult and time-consuming.

How Do You Choose the Right 50/50 Schedules For Custody?

There are a lot of things you’ll want to take into account when you are sharing custody of children evenly. You will want to honestly consider different aspects of your routine, your relationship with your co-parent, and the needs of your children.

For example, how many days are ideal between visits with your children? On the one hand, you don’t want to go too many days without seeing your child at a time, but you also want to minimize how frequently they are changing homes.

Additionally, how well do you and your co-parent communicate and get along? If you get along just great then you don’t have to worry about this aspect of things. However, if things tend to lean towards conflict, you might want to minimize how much communication and interaction is expected between the two of you as a part of your co-parenting.

You’ll also want to think about how consistent you want to keep the schedule. Is it better to have the same schedule every single week or better to spend the same weeks a month together? It’s important to consider this in conjunction with school, sports, and activities schedules.

Of course, you’ll also want to factor in the ages of your children and what will work best for them. Young children tend to do best with a consistent routine, while tweens and teens typically do better with schedules that allow them to stay in one place for longer at a time.

Schedules For Custody: How to Communicate About Custody in the Digital Age

Creating a 3-3-4-4 schedule can be an appropriate model for many co-parents who are splitting custody. It can allow both parents and children to spend time with each other each week while also minimizing exchanges and disruption to the home life of children.

No matter what schedule you choose, it’s important to have an easy way to make schedule changes and stay organized about your calendar. If you’re ready to minimize confusion and maximize organization and efficiency when it comes to your schedules for custody, check out 2houses today.

Couples who are getting married for the first time in the United States have a 50% chance of eventually getting divorced. At this point, the majority of American families have shifted away from being a unit made up of the original biologically connected father, mother, and child.

While divorce can be hard for everyone in the family, it can be particularly difficult for children. However, when co-parents choose to put the well-being of their children as the top priority, they can still have a supportive and loving family environment in which to grow up.

If you and your co-parent have existing custody arrangements, you might find that they don’t quite work once school ends and summer begins.

It’s important to create an alternating custody schedule for the summer ahead of time. This way, everyone involved has a sense of the plan in a way that can reduce conflict and focus on your children having the best summer possible.

Why Is It Important to Create an Alternating Custody Schedule For Summer?

School offers a lot of structure to children’s schedules during the academic year. During the summer, however, their schedules open up which can mean that your custody arrangements require some alterations.

Summer vacation is often the most fun time of year for children, allowing them to go on vacation with family, play with friends, spend time outside, and have some time away from the classroom.

However, if you don’t have a set alternating custody schedule for the summer, this can cause confusion and instability for your kids. For this reason, you want to come up with a plan ahead of time. That way, your kids know when they will be where and so will you and your co-parent.

Avoiding conflict with your co-parent is also important when it comes to scheduling custody. Not only is it difficult and unpleasant for both of you, but it can be very difficult for your children as well. Working out your vacation times, conferences, or other unusual events before the summer begins can help keep the whole family on good terms and reduce stress and tension.

Tips For Summer Custody Arrangements

Even if your academic year custody arrangements are working out swimmingly, there is always the potential for hiccups when it comes to planning out summer vacations. You and your co-parents might have vacations in mind with your kids, and your children might have events or programs they’re planning on attending during the summer months.

Decide if You Need to Make Changes to Your Regular Co-Parenting Plan

If new plans pop up over the summer, your shared parenting time routine or custody plans can be thrown for a loop. Your kids will have a lot more free time when they are out of school, meaning that the existing schedule might not work for a few months.

Rather than waiting until the last minute to make changes to your parenting schedule, check in with your co-parent ahead of time. This way, you can take a look at both of your plans to make sure your alternating custody arrangements can be sorted out before the summer begins.

It’s possible that your existing parenting plan already accounts for adjustments during the summer months. It is also possible that is specifies how you need to make changes to your plan. It’s a good idea for this reason to talk with a family law professional or your attorney to make sure that you understand how you can make adjustments to the existing plan.

Check-In Early About Travel Plans

If you and your co-parent are making individual travel plans for the summer, check in with them ahead of time. This is particularly important if any of your plans involve taking the children along. When you create an open line of communication early on, it can help avoid any issues relating to conflicting vacation dates and plans.

You’ll want to have a conversation with your co-parent before you make any reservations or buy plane tickets. It’s better to get things sorted out with your vacation custody plans first before you buy non-refundable tickets or make reservations that can’t be canceled or changed.

When you tell your co-parent well in advance of your planned vacation, it can also help to avoid conflict about the days when you expect to be out of town. It also helps them schedule their own vacation if they plan on taking one.

Build a Sense of Your Personal Schedule

Beyond vacation, there can be a number of exceptional events and engagements that crop up during the summer. Start populating your calendar now rather than waiting until the last minute. Doing this will let you swap parenting time if necessary well in advance in a way that helps avoid conflict and ensures that your alternating schedule will work out fairly.

You’ll also want to look at each of your kids’ schedules when it comes to events like birthday parties, sports games, or other pre-planned events that you already know they will attend. You can then discuss these events with your co-parent and which one of you will attend if either of you does.

Think About Whether or Not Daycare Will Be Necessary

When your kids aren’t going to school during the day, you might need to think about having them attend a daycare program. If both you and your co-parent work the same hours during the day, you’ll have to come up with a plan for where they can have enjoyable yet supervised summer days.

You can find summer daycare programs on a wide price spectrum. You’ll want to start researching the options during the school year so that you can make sure to sign your children up for the program you think would best suit them.

Check-in with the parents of your children’s friends about this as well. From then you can learn where your kids’ friends are attending daycare, ensuring that your children will have buddies they know when they head to camp.

Ask Your Kids How They Feel

When there are so many logistical considerations dealing with alternating custody schedules for the summer, it can be easy to forget to check in with the most important part of the situation: your kids. Ask them what they think and see if they had anything they wanted to do during the summer. You can then try and work those ideas into the co-parenting schedule you set up.

It’s also possible that your kids have a preference when it comes to the type of custody plan you have. Maybe they prefer spending a few days with each parent each week, or maybe it’s better for them to spend two weeks with each parent at a time. It’s possible that your plan can be easily changed in order to better accommodate the needs of your kids.

Get Your Plan in Writing

No matter how well you and your co-parent get along, there’s always room for confusion and uncertainty when it comes to vacation custody plans. For this reason, always get your plans in writing. That way you have a document to fall back on and refer to if there are any issues.

It’s best to write these plans down and store them somewhere both parents have access to. This way, each parent can look at them on their own time if they aren’t sure about the schedule for the upcoming months.

Sample Custody Plans For Summer

Sometimes, it might be necessary to alter the custody schedule you have set up with your co-parent when summertime rolls around. You will want to factor in the time that each parent wants to take the children on vacation, as well as the kids’ activities like summer camp.

Two Weeks Each

If you and your co-parent have schedules that are relatively similar to the school year, you might consider a “two weeks each” plan. This way, the kids spend two weeks with one parent before spending two weeks with the other parent.

Alternating Weeks

Similar to the above plan, alternating weeks allows kids to stay with one parent every other week and the other parent on alternating weeks. For this plan, you can mark the beginning and end of the week whenever works best. For example, you might choose to have each week start and end on Friday at 4 pm.

3-4-4-3 Schedule

This schedule allows children to spend three days with one parent and then four days with the other parent. It then switches the next week, so both parents get equal time.

2-2-3 Schedule

With this plan, the kids spend two days with one parent, then two days with the other parent, before spending the remaining three days with the first parent. The schedule switches the next week so that over a two-week period both parents get equal time.

2-2-5-5 Schedule

In the 2-2-5-5 schedule, the children spend two days with each parent. Then, they spend five days with each parent. Over a two week period, both parents get to spend an equal amount of time with the children.

Alternating Every Two Days

If the above schedules seem a bit too hard to keep track of, you also might consider alternating every two days. This means that over the course of a month you will spend the same amount of time having custody of the children.

Incorporating Vacations

You will want to have a fairly set plan for the summer before you create your vacation custody plans. While life can be unexpected and things can always change last minute, it’s good to have a sense of your schedule before you create your custody plan.

If you are planning on going on vacation and taking the kids, this time can be incorporated into the overall schedule. Say that you are going to take the children on a two-week vacation. If you are following the two-week alternating plan, then you can simply schedule your vacation in order to accommodate the existing schedule.

Or you can change the existing schedule to accommodate your plan. If you and your co-parent have an agreement to split time with the kids 50/50, this means that the other parent can have an additional two weeks elsewhere in the summer or otherwise sprinkle in extra days throughout the summer weeks to make up the time.

How to Decide if a 50/50 Custody Schedule Is Right For You This Summer

When you are sharing custody of your children, your goal is to best fulfill their social, physical, and emotional needs. Using a 50/50 alternating schedule can be beneficial to children because it allows them to spend equal time with both parents.

These schedules tend to work best when the following conditions are met:

• The parents can communicate amicably about the children without conflict
• The parents live within a reasonable distance from one another so exchanges are easier
• Both parents see the child’s best interest as the most important thing
• The child can handle switching between each of their parents’ homes
• Both parents see a 50/50 alternating schedule as being the best option for the children

Creating a summer break schedule as well as a holiday schedule can help you keep your custody plan orderly and reduce confusion. They can also help to balance out the percentage of time each parent spends with the children if the academic year schedule isn’t even.

Custody and Vacations: What’s Your Plan?

No matter what alternating custody schedule for the summer you come up with, you want to make sure that it’s clearly written out for all involved parties to see. This way, you can avoid potential conflict and reduce the stress involved with keeping a schedule.

Are you looking for a way to keep your summer child care plans organized? With 2houses, you can use our co-parent calendar to help keep communication clear in a way that benefits the wellbeing of your children. You can check out this feature here.

It’s no secret that moving can be stressful. Add in the lingering distress of a recent divorce or separation and confused or emotionally distraught children, and you may start to feel overwhelmed. Despite these challenges, moving may be just what you and your children need. Finding a new place to live, whether near or far can provide the family with a fresh start. How you go about this move will make all the difference. Here are seven ways to successfully find a new home for you and your children after a divorce.

Be Transparent

Neither divorce, nor separation are easy experiences to go through, especially when children are involved. You and your kids may go through a range of emotions as you try to process what this change means for your future. Oftentimes, children wonder if they are the cause of the separation. While that is rarely the reason that couples divorce, it’s important to reassure your children of this truth, particularly as you prepare to make other major decisions like choosing a new home. Being transparent will not eliminate your child’s sadness, anger or pain, but having an understanding of what is going on and why can make the transition a little easier.

While being honest is important, discretion is key. Depending on the age of your children, transparency will look different. No matter their age, though, they don’t need all the gorey details, but you should avoid half truths. Stick to the facts rather than badmouthing the other parent or blaming them for the separation. Anticipate that the kids will be upset and sometimes that anger will be misdirected, but your approach can make all the difference. 

While you don’t need to discuss the end of your marriage frequently, be open to conversation with your children about the topic. Not only will this keep the lines of communication open, but such conversations may reveal any concerns that they might have. In turn, you can take these worries into consideration during your house hunt journey. As you do make decisions about moving, try to keep your children involved by taking them along to see the spaces and preparing them for the differences that may result from the move.

Establish a Budget and Stick to it

Sometimes guilt overwhelms recently divorced parents, and they mistakenly overindulge their children. This can happen even when it comes to picking a new place to live. After completely altering their lives, you may feel like you need to give them the world. However, instead of making promises that may create a financial burden, remember that the most important thing your children need is love. To avoid living beyond your means, make it a goal to establish a budget based on your new financial situation.

Whether you are planning to buy or rent a new home, a budget will come in handy. It’s important to be honest about what you can and cannot afford, especially before you discuss moving with your children. For instance, a pool or sizable backyard may be exciting for the kids, but if these features in a new home fall outside of your price range, it’s best to forego them. Remember that such things may temporarily intrigue your children, but are not worth going into debt over. Afterall, neither a big backyard nor a fancy pool can heal the pain they may experience during the divorce. Rather, set yourself up for success with a realistic budget that allows you to spend quality time with your kiddos, rather than working incessantly to keep up an expensive lifestyle. Your children will remember the time you spent with them more than anything money can buy.

As you create a budget that fits your new lifestyle, you may recognize that it does not allow for all things that your life once included. For instance, you may no longer be able to afford a residential cleaning service, but this change provides an opportunity for the kids to help more around the house. That’s okay; embrace this change and opportunity to help your children grow.

Find a Community

Moving with children after a divorce may involve relocating to a new neighborhood filled with unfamiliar faces, changing schools or simply being further away from your child’s favorite park. It’s true that nothing nor anyone can replace what you and your children are living behind. However, there are ways to make finding your place in a new community easier.

As you begin your house or apartment hunting journey, search for a family-centric neighborhood. While it may be challenging for you and your children to leave behind not only your spouse, but your close friends and neighbors, help your children to see the beauty of the change by finding an area that allows them to broaden their horizons and widen out. It’s tough to say goodbye to some of your favorite places, but buying a home or renting an apartment in a neighborhood that is community-oriented, family-centered and has lots to do can help you and your children feel welcome. Signing your children up for sports teams in the area, taking advantage of local parks and rec activities or simply walking around the new neighborhood can make the transition enjoyable.

A lot of change all at once can be difficult for anyone to deal with. So, if it’s possible to move without forcing the kids to change schools right away or at all, opt to do so. Sometimes school districts will allow students to complete whatever grade they are in before switching schools. If your child’s current school allows such an arrangement, it may be worthwhile to explore this option to give your child time to mentally and emotionally prepare for a new school. If remaining at the same school or in the same school district is not possible, help your children prepare for the change by attending any new student events and taking them to meet their new teachers before their first day.

Hire Movers

Once you’ve settled on a new home, do yourself a favor and hire a moving company. We all know the challenges that come along with moving. With children in the mix, you should anticipate obstacles that you’ve never faced before. Despite all the planning, preparation and open conversation, emotions are likely to be high on the day of the move. Hiring a moving company can help make things easier for everyone involved. While the movers take care of loading, you will be able to tend to your emotions and those of your children. Better yet, with careful, advanced planning and the help of a reputable moving company, you may be able to distract yourself and your children from the commotion of moving day with games, food, and upbuilding conversation.

During past moves, your ex-spouse may have been present, but this time things could be different. While you may have less stuff, trying to pack and load everything on your own will likely be challenging. You will appreciate the extra sets of hands.

Before you settle on a moving company, there’s a few things to consider. Take a look at the company’s reviews, get estimates and verify their credentials. Though your financial standing may have changed since the divorce, don’t simply go for the cheapest movers. This may involve using a credit card or taking out a small loan. You want a smooth transition from your current location to your new home. The moving company you choose can play a huge role in the seamlessness of the move.

Declutter, Downsize and Pack

Nailing down a moving date and movers will help you gauge when to start packing. Your packing experience will be much better if you declutter and downsize first. Think of decluttering as an opportunity to get rid of items that cannot be sold or given away because they are too old, dirty or tattered. Younger children usually like to help their parents, so enlist their assistance in decluttering. Not only will doing so allow you to rid your home of anything you don’t need to take along, your child will enjoy getting to help with a grownup task.

Downsizing is a bit tougher than decluttering. It involves more than simply tidying or discarding. Sometimes downsizing involves getting rid of items we like or love out of necessity. Depending on the size of your new home, it may not be possible to bring all of your belongings. If your finances have taken a hit during the divorce, downsizing may be necessary. Carrying out this task might be difficult for the entire family. To make it more enjoyable and manageable, try going through each child’s possessions separately with them. Downsizing and packing can be emotional, but it also provides an opportunity to go down memory lane as you rediscover objects that have been buried away. So, if you have had a hard time getting your children to open up to you about their feelings regarding the divorce, paring down may encourage them to open up.

After you have thoroughly and efficiently decluttered and downsized, it’s time to start packing! In a tidy environment and with less stuff, your packing experience will be much more manageable. Again, try to make the task enjoyable. Pick a week or certain days to focus on packing and then use those days as opportunities to enjoy your family’s favorite takeout meals. In addition, take breaks and incorporate simple games, like a scavenger hunt for young children.

Decorate Thoughtfully

Once you are all moved in, it’s time to make your new house a home. This is very important, as you want your children to feel comfortable in the new space. Allow your kids to have a say when it comes to decorating their rooms. Add familiar touches to their rooms, like any sentimental items from their other parent. It’s unlikely that you will want to decorate your home with pictures of you and your ex-mate, but it’s important that your children still feel connected to them. As a compromise, you might consider placing pictures of your ex-spouse with the children in their individual bedrooms.

As for the rest of the house, you may choose to ask your children for their input, as well. However, when it comes to shared spaces, such as a living room, den, dining room or finished basement, it’s important to be thoughtful when decorating. If the events leading up to the divorce were traumatic for the children, avoid decorating with items that may remind them of those tough times. It’s better to sell or donate those pieces, and buy new things according to your budget. Sometimes it’s not possible to get rid of certain things. If that’s the case, consider refurbishing the piece. With a little sanding or a fresh coat of paint, you can bring life and happiness into items that were once associated with painful times.

Start Fresh, But Be Patient

One of the most important things about moving with your children after a divorce is starting fresh at a reasonable pace. Too much change in a short amount of time can be traumatic and overwhelming, but little to no change can be just as damaging. Aim to maintain routines, but adopt new healthy habits. For instance, if you normally eat meals together, continue to do so. If you’ve never eaten meals together, try to start. It may seem like a small thing, but a divorce can leave your children feeling angry, sad and even isolated. It’s important to keep the family unit strong despite the change. Remember, finding a home that your children will love following a divorce is about more than the physical location. The behavior that each family member exhibits plays a huge role in their affinity for their new homebase.

Divorce, housing hunting and moving are some of the most major experiences a person can go through. Thankfully, it’s possible to stay positive throughout the journey and settle into the perfect place that suits you and your child’s new lifestyle.