Author: Alexandra

Blended families are becoming more common, and while they bring lots of love and joy, they also come with unique challenges. One big challenge is how custody schedules affect the kids, especially siblings. A 60/40 custody schedule, where kids spend 60% of their time with one parent and 40% with the other, can offer stability and flexibility. But for siblings, this arrangement can sometimes create difficulties.

In traditional families, siblings usually live together all the time. In blended families, things are different. Siblings might be full, half, or step-siblings, and they may not share the same custody schedule. This can lead to confusion, frustration, and even heartache.

Let’s look at an example. Meet Maria and John. Maria, 12, is from her mom’s previous relationship. John, 8, is from his dad’s previous relationship. Their parents now have a 3-year-old daughter together named Lily. Maria and John each follow their own 60/40 custody schedules, but their schedules don’t match. Maria spends most weekdays with her dad, while John is with his mom on weekends. This creates some challenges for their sibling relationship.

What Makes It Hard for Maria and John?

• They Don’t Spend Much Time Together Since Maria and John have different schedules, they rarely get to hang out. When Maria is at her dad’s, John is with his mom, and vice versa. This lack of time together makes it hard for them to build a close sibling bond.
• Different Rules, Different Lives Each home has its own rules and routines. One home might be stricter, while the other is more relaxed. This can lead to feelings of jealousy or frustration, especially if one sibling feels the other has it easier.
• Feeling Left Out Lily, their younger sister, stays with both parents all the time. She doesn’t always understand why Maria and John come and go. Sometimes, she feels confused or left out because her older siblings aren’t always around.

Emotional Effects on Siblings

Siblings in blended families with different custody schedules may face other emotional challenges, such as:

• Loss of Identity: Kids might feel unsure about where they belong in the family.
• Favoritism: If one child spends more time with a parent, the other might feel less important.
• Less Bonding Time: Siblings may not have enough time together to build strong connections.
• Divided Loyalties: Kids can feel torn between their biological parents and step-parents, leading to stress.

Studies show that kids in blended families with different custody schedules sometimes feel like they’re competing with their siblings. If one child spends more time with a parent, they may form a closer bond, leaving the other child feeling isolated.

How Parents Can Help

The good news is that with strong co-parenting and open communication, these challenges can be managed. Here are some simple tips to help siblings in a 60/40 custody schedule:

1. Make Time for Siblings to Be Together Plan times for the siblings to hang out, even if their schedules don’t align perfectly. Family outings or special playtimes can help them bond.
2. Let Them Talk About Their Feelings Encourage your kids to share how they feel about the custody schedule and their sibling relationships. Being open about their emotions can help reduce jealousy or misunderstandings.
3. Keep Routines Consistent Try to have similar routines across both households. For example, maintaining the same bedtime or family traditions can help your kids feel more connected.
4. Work Together as Co-Parents Good communication between co-parents is very important. When both parents work together and respect each other’s role, it creates a healthier environment for the kids and strengthens sibling relationships.

Final Thoughts

A 60/40 custody schedule can be both a blessing and a challenge for siblings in blended families. While it helps kids maintain strong relationships with both parents, it can make sibling bonding harder when schedules don’t align. However, with a little effort and communication, parents can help their kids build and maintain strong sibling bonds.

By working together, parents can ensure that siblings in blended families grow up with love, support, and lasting connections—even when life gets a little complicated.

Being a parent with 30% custody in a 70/30 custody schedule can be challenging, especially when it comes to staying involved in your child’s school life. While your time with your child may be limited, your engagement in their education is vital for their growth and your relationship. This guide provides actionable tips to help you maintain a strong presence in your child’s school experience, even within the constraints of a 30% custody arrangement.

What Challenges Do 30% Custody Parents Face in Handling Their Child’s School Life?

• Limited Time: With only 30% custody, you may not be physically present for day-to-day activities like homework or school events.
• Communication Gaps: Important updates about school activities, grades, or behavioral notes might not always reach you promptly, especially if co-parent communication is strained.
• Feeling Disconnected: Not being the primary parent at school meetings or events can leave you feeling out of the loop.
• Scheduling Conflicts: Balancing work and personal commitments with your parenting time can make attending school functions challenging.
• Navigating Co-Parent Dynamics: Ensuring both parents have equitable access to information and involvement can be a tricky balance.

Tips to Stay Involved in Your Child’s School Life with a 70/30 Custody Schedule

1. Stay Informed About School Activities

To stay connected, make sure you’re always in the loop about what’s happening at school:

• Subscribe to the school’s newsletters and emails to get updates directly in your inbox.
• Join online portals where you can track grades, attendance, and assignments.
• Follow social media pages of the school to stay updated on events and announcements.

This way, you’ll always know what’s going on, even if you aren’t physically present every day.

2. Build Open Communication with Teachers

Take the first step to introduce yourself to your child’s teachers and explain your custody arrangement. Teachers are usually very understanding and willing to help.

• Ask to be included in emails or notes sent home so you’re not missing any important information.
• Attend parent-teacher conferences when possible—if you can’t make it in person, join virtually.

3. Coordinate with Your Co-Parent

I know co-parenting can be a difficult job sometimes, but maintaining open communication about school matters is essential.

• Use 2houses co-parenting app to share updates and manage schedules without confusion.
• Agree on handling responsibilities such as permission slips, school projects, and other time-sensitive matters.

When both parents are on the same page, it creates a stable and supportive environment for your child.

4. Maximize Your Parenting Time

Your parenting time is precious, so make the most of it:

• Work on homework or school projects together—it’s a great way to bond while supporting their education.
• If you’re not with them in person, talk about school over calls or video chats to show your interest.
• Celebrate their milestones, whether it’s a great test score or participation in a school event.

5. Get Involved in School Events and Activities

Whenever your schedule allows, participate in school activities:

• Volunteer for events like field trips or fundraisers.
• Attend performances, sports games, or award ceremonies—it means the world to your child.

Being present at these events is a tangible way to show your support and create special memories together.

6. Prioritize Quality Over Quantity

It’s not about how much time you spend with your child—it’s about how you spend it. Focus on creating meaningful moments that show you care. For example, let’s say your child is working on a science project. Instead of just asking, “How’s it going?” take the time to really talk about it. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s your favorite part of the project so far?” or “What’s the next step you’re excited about?” Celebrate their effort, whether they win an award or just finish on time. 

It’s those little things—listening, praising their hard work, and being genuinely interested—that make your child feel valued and loved. Trust me, these moments stick with them far longer than you might think.

Raising kids when you and your ex live far apart can feel like trying to herd cats in the rain—it’s chaotic and unpredictable. When it comes to making a 60/40 custody schedule work for long-distance co-parenting, opinions often clash.

Some argue that a 60/40 split is nearly impossible for families separated by distance. They believe it’s just too hard to manage when you’re far away. But others think that with some planning and plenty of patience, it can still work out just fine.

Can 60/40 Custody Schedule Really Work for Long-Distance Co-Parenting?

The truth is, it can, but it really depends on how flexible and cooperative you and your co-parent are, as well as the needs of your child. Sure, being far away can make things tricky, but with careful planning and a willingness to adapt, it’s possible!

1. Alternating Extended Weekends

One way the 60/40 schedule can work in long-distance co-parenting is by adjusting the schedule to longer but less frequent visits. For example, instead of transitioning between homes during the week, the 40% parent could have extended weekends or longer visits during school holidays. A common variation involves the child spending the school year with one parent (typically the parent with 60% custody) and extended holidays or breaks with the other parent.

Let me give you an example to paint a clearer picture. Imagine your child lives mostly with their mom in Texas, while you’re in California. To make the 60/40 schedule effective, your child could stay with their mom during the school year and then visit their dad for most of the summer break and major holidays, like Christmas and spring break. This way, the spirit of the 60/40 split stays intact without the stress of frequent travel, which can be tiring for kids.

2. Coordinating with School Calendars

School obligations are often a significant factor in long-distance co-parenting,especially when you and your co-parent live in different states with different vacation times. You can set up the 60/40 schedule to fit your child’s school calendar, allowing the parent with less time (the 40% parent) to spend more time with your child during breaks.

Planning ahead is key here. You and your co-parent need to work together and coordinate with the school to ensure your child has a stable school life, doesn’t miss important opportunities, and maintains their friendships.

3. Stay Connected by Virtual Communication

When you and your co-parent live far apart, technology becomes a lifesaver. With video calls, texts, and messaging apps, you can stay connected with your child, even from a distance. In a 60/40 custody arrangement, these virtual tools help the parent with 40% custody stay involved in your child’s daily life, even when they can’t be there in person for a while.

Potential Challenges and Solutions in 60/40 Custody Schedule

You already know that a 60/40 custody schedule can work for long-distance co-parenting if you follow some tips and strategies. However, there are challenges you might face along the way.

– Travel Fatigue and Costs

Long-distance co-parenting often means a lot of travel. This can be tiring for kids and costly for parents. To make the 60/40 arrangement work, you and your co-parent need to share the responsibility of getting your child back and forth, and make travel plans that focus on your child’s comfort.

Solution:
You can split travel costs and take turns handling transportation. Some families even choose to have virtual visits during busy school times to cut down on how often they travel.

– Emotional Adjustment

Children might find it hard to adjust emotionally when moving between homes, especially if their time with the non-custodial parent is inconsistent or feels rushed. Long stretches away from one parent can also be tough, especially for younger kids.

Solution:
You and your co-parent should keep the lines of communication open with your child. Encourage them to share their feelings and talk about any worries they have. Virtual communication can help bridge the emotional gap when they can’t be with one parent for a while.

Factors to Consider

Final advice for you – before you commit to a 60/40 custody schedule in a long-distance situation, think about these important factors:

• Age of the Child: Younger kids might have a harder time being away from one parent for long, while older kids may adapt more easily.
• Schooling and Extracurriculars: Make sure your child’s academic and social life stays stable. Moving between homes shouldn’t disrupt their routine.
• Parent-Child Relationship: Both you and your co-parent need to stay committed to having a healthy and open relationship with your child, even when you’re apart.

Every family is unique, so it’s important to find a solution that meets the specific needs of the child and both parents. With careful consideration and cooperation, the 60/40 custody schedule can provide the stability and connection that children need, even across long distances. For co-parenting help 2houses team is always here for you. 

A custody schedule isn’t something that stays the same forever, especially after a divorce. As your child grows and life changes, your custody plan might need a little tweaking. It’s all about finding what works best for your child’s evolving needs. In this article, we’ll dive into how to modify a 70/30 custody arrangement as your child gets older.

Today, we’re going to cover the reasons you might need to make changes, tips for modifying the schedule, and the legal steps involved.

Why You May Need to Change a 70/30 Custody Schedule as Your Child Grows

• As kids get older, their emotional and social needs shift. A 70/30 split may not work if they need more stability or more time with one parent, especially during school years or teenage activities.
• With school, sports, and other activities, your child’s schedule will get busier. If one parent is farther away or has a more rigid schedule, a 70/30 split may not work well. Adjusting custody can help both parents stay involved in their child’s life.
• Your child might want to spend more time with the other parent as they grow. If they’re asking for more time with them, it might be time to rethink the arrangement for a more balanced schedule.
• A 70/30 split may cause disruptions in your child’s routine; a more balanced schedule can bring greater stability.
• If either parent’s work situation, new relationship or living circumstances change, it might make sense to adjust the custody schedule. A more flexible arrangement can accommodate new circumstances and support your child’s well-being.
• If co-parenting becomes easier, you might find that a 60/40 or even 50/50 split is better for your child. However, if things aren’t going well, reducing time spent between homes may ease tension.
• As your child gets older, their preferences may change, and it’s important to listen and adjust the schedule accordingly.
• In cases of parental conflict or difficulty co-parenting, the court might decide to modify custody arrangements to better address the child’s emotional needs.

Ways to Modify a 70/30 Custody Schedule as Your Child Grows

As your child’s needs evolve, it’s a good idea to consider modifying the custody schedule. Here are some ways you can make that adjustment:

1. Increase Time with the Non-Custodial Parent
   As kids get older, they often benefit from spending more time with the parent they don’t live with full time. Modifying the schedule to something like a 60/40 or 50/50 split might work better depending on your child’s needs and preferences.
2. Adjust Based on School Year and Holidays
   You can adjust the custody schedule to fit school breaks, holidays, and any special school activities. For example, your child might want to spend more time with one parent during summer or winter holidays. Flexibility in the schedule can help both parents accommodate their child’s academic and social life.
3. Create a More Consistent Routine
   Once your child enters middle or high school, consistency becomes more important. Rather than a 70/30 schedule that requires constant transitions, a more stable living arrangement could be beneficial. This might mean longer stays with one parent during the school year, with frequent weekend or vacation visits to the other parent.
4. Allow for the Child’s Input
   As children get older, they often have their own ideas about how they want to spend their time. Listening to their preferences is important when adjusting the schedule. While it’s not all about what your child wants, their input can help ensure that the schedule works for everyone.
5. Incorporate Flexibility for Changing Needs
   Life is full of surprises. Work schedules, school events, or family situations can change unexpectedly. A flexible arrangement allows both parents to adapt without adding stress. Whether one parent needs to travel for work or the child’s schedule changes, flexibility can make everything run smoother.
6. Promote Co-Parenting Cooperation
   Effective communication is key when modifying a custody schedule. Both parents should discuss the child’s needs and how the schedule can best support them. If disagreements arise, mediation can be a helpful tool to work through differences and come to an agreement.

The Legal Process for Modifying 70/30 Custody 

To change your 70/30 custody schedule, start by checking your original agreement to see if changes are allowed. Then, file a petition in family court, explaining why you want to adjust the schedule and provide any proof. 

If needed, you’ll go to mediation to work things out, and if that doesn’t work, the case will go to court. You’ll need to show there’s been a big change, like your child’s needs shifting or changes in your situation. 

Finally, the judge will decide what’s best for your child and may approve, deny, or modify the schedule.

Co-parenting under a 70/30 custody schedule can feel challenging, especially when you’re the parent with 30% of the parenting time. You might worry about how your limited time affects your relationship with your children and the sibling bonds between them. However, by focusing on the quality of your interactions and fostering strong connections, you can make a positive impact despite the time constraints.

This guide is here to help you create meaningful connections, navigate challenges, and ensure your limited time has a lasting impact.

The Impact on Siblings: What Every 30% Custody Parent Should Know

If you’re a 30% custody parent, one big question that might cross your mind is: How does this custody arrangement affect my children as siblings?

The truth is, a 70/30 custody split can bring challenges for siblings. They might feel separated, jealous, or even a little unstable. But with the right approach, you can help them navigate these emotions and stay connected. Let’s break it down in a simple, clear way:

What Challenges Do Siblings Face in a 70/30 Custody Arrangement?

1. Feelings of Separation
   When siblings have different schedules or spend time apart, they might feel disconnected from one another. This separation can make it harder for them to share experiences and build their bond.
2. Jealousy or Perceived Favoritism
   If one child seems to spend more time with a parent or appears to get more attention, it can lead to feelings of jealousy or rivalry. Even small differences in time or treatment might feel unfair to a child.
3. Limited Shared Experiences
   Siblings often bond over everyday routines—playing together, eating meals, or just hanging out. With limited time together, they might miss out on these small but meaningful moments, which can weaken their connection.

How to Be a Great 30% Custody Parent and Support Your Kids’ Bond

As a 30% custody parent, it’s important to make your parenting time count while ensuring your kids stay close as siblings. Here’s how to plan your time so it works for everyone:

1. Plan Fun Family Activities

Even with limited time, you can create lasting memories by choosing things everyone enjoys, such as:

• Cooking or baking together as a family.
• Exploring local parks or taking nature walks.
• Playing board games or watching movies everyone loves. 
• And more!

2. Celebrate Special Moments in Creative Ways

If a birthday or milestone falls outside your time, you can still celebrate:

• You can host a mini celebration during your visit.
• Write a heartfelt note or make a photo slideshow to mark the occasion.
• Plan a virtual party so everyone feels included.

3. Keep Sibling Bonds Strong When You’re Not There

You can help your kids stay close as siblings, even when they’re not with you.

• Talk About the Importance of Supporting Each Other: Encourage them to look out for one another and praise their moments of kindness or teamwork.
• Stay Connected Through Technology: Use video calls for family chats, share photos in a group album, or encourage online games they can play together.
• Work with the Other Parent: Team up to make sure the kids get sibling time, like playdates or shared activities.

4. Handle Emotional Challenges

Sometimes, siblings might feel jealous, guilty, or lonely in a 70/30 custody split. Here’s how you can help:

• Listen to Their Feelings: Let them share how they feel without fear of judgment. Saying things like, “I know this is tough for you,” shows you understand.
• Avoid Comparisons: Each child has different needs, so focus on them individually instead of comparing.
• Show Equal Love: Make sure all your kids know they are valued and loved, no matter how much time you spend with each one.

5. Address Sibling Conflicts Together

It’s normal for siblings to argue, but as a parent, you can guide them toward healthy conflict resolution:

• Stay Neutral: Avoid taking sides. Instead, help them talk through the issue calmly.
• Teach Problem-Solving Skills: Encourage your kids to express their feelings and brainstorm solutions together.
• Reinforce Teamwork: Remind them they’re on the same team and focus on ways they can work together instead of against each other.
• Follow Up: Check in later to see if the conflict is resolved or if they need more guidance.

By helping your kids handle conflicts, you teach them valuable skills and strengthen their sibling bond.

Co-parenting is no walk in the park, no matter what the custody arrangement looks like. But when you’re managing an 80/20 split, it can come with some unique hurdles. In this setup, one parent has the lion’s share of time with the child (about 80%), while the other parent has less frequent visitation (around 20%). 

If you’re in this situation and trying to build a new relationship, things can get even more complicated and challenging. Juggling your child’s needs, your ex’s expectations, and the feelings of a new partner can be overwhelming. But it’s not something you can’t handle.

With a little planning and the right mindset, you can tackle these challenges head-on and create a balanced environment for everyone involved.

Co-Parenting Challenges When You Have an 80/20 Schedule and Start a New Relationship

When you’re a co-parent with an 80/20 custody schedule and you enter a new relationship, things can get complicated fast. Let’s break down some of the biggest challenges you might face and how to handle them.

1. Time Management and Scheduling Conflicts

If you have the kids most of the time, finding moments to spend with your new partner can feel almost impossible. You may even start to feel guilty or frustrated because you can’t seem to juggle everything. On the other side, if you’re the non-custodial parent, you might feel pressure to make every minute count with your child, which can squeeze out time to grow a new relationship.

2. Introducing Your New Partner to the Kids

Bringing a new partner into your child’s life is a big deal—especially when you’re the primary parent. Kids don’t always take change well. They might already be stressed from the divorce, and now they have to deal with someone new. It’s not uncommon for them to feel possessive or jealous when they see their parent with someone else.

Research shows that children often struggle when their parents introduce new relationships post-divorce. It can feel like their time with you is being threatened. So, take things slow, be sensitive, and keep their feelings at the forefront.

3. Managing Expectations with Your New Partner

A new relationship demands time and attention, but when you’re the primary parent, your time is stretched thin. Your new partner might get frustrated if they don’t fully understand the demands of your custody schedule.
Be upfront and honest. Explain that your child comes first. Let them know that you want the relationship to work, but it will take planning and flexibility on both sides.

4. Keeping a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship

Balancing your new relationship while maintaining a good co-parenting relationship is tough. Your ex might feel uncomfortable or threatened by the idea of you dating again, especially if you have most of the custody. Be clear about your boundaries and transparent about your situation, but don’t overdo it. Keep your focus on the kids and keep communication with your ex respectful and centered on their needs.

How to Handle a New Relationship When You’re Co-Parenting with an 80/20 Custody Schedule

1. Always Keep the Communication Lines Open

First things first: talk, talk, and talk some more! Communication is your best friend here—not just with your new partner but with your ex and your child, too. If your new partner expects more time with you than you can offer, be honest about your limitations. And when it comes to your ex, keep them informed of any changes in your life that might impact your child. This transparency helps everyone stay on the same page and avoids unnecessary conflicts.

2. Take It Slow When Introducing Your New Partner to the Kids

Don’t rush things when it comes to introducing your new partner to your kids. They need time to adjust—especially if you’re the primary parent. Start with casual group activities like a picnic or a movie night. Avoid putting them in one-on-one situations too soon. Gradual introductions help your child feel more comfortable and less like their space is being invaded.

3. Set Clear and Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are a must. Make sure your new partner knows that your child’s needs come first. Set boundaries with your ex, too, so there’s no confusion or conflict related to your new relationship. And don’t forget to set boundaries with your child. Let them know they’re your top priority, but your new partner deserves respect as well. Boundaries make everything run smoother for everyone involved.

4.  Patience, Patience, and More Patience!

This isn’t a race. Building a new relationship while co-parenting can take time, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself, your child, and your new partner. There will be bumps along the way, but if you take things slow and stay focused on your child’s well-being, you can make it work. Patience allows you to build healthy relationships all around.

It’s no secret—you’re balancing a lot right now. Co-parenting with an 80/20 schedule while starting a new relationship is no small task, but it’s absolutely possible. Just stay patient, prioritize your child’s happiness, and embrace the ups and downs. With a bit of finesse, you can maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship and build a thriving new partnership. 

So, take a deep breath—you’ve got everything it takes to pull this off and make it work beautifully!