Author: Alexandra

When parties to a divorce have a kid with special needs, negotiating child custody, visitation rights, financial support, and property division becomes more difficult. As part of the divorce process, you should make sure that you take a comprehensive look at the unique needs of your child. As co-parents, the purpose is to address the specific situation of the kid to alter the course of the child’s life favorably. 

Every plan must provide the child with appropriate medical care, educational opportunities, and social activities. Children with special needs should be given the same chances as children who do not have special needs; nevertheless, these opportunities may need to be provided differently. To learn more about how to Co-parent a child with special needs after getting a divorce, stay on this resource.

Tips for Co-parenting Special Needs Children after Divorce

When it comes to determining the best course of action for a parenting plan after divorce, a lot of things have to be taken into consideration. The following are helpful tips for co-parenting a child with special needs after a divorce: 

Visitation Rights 

Co-parents are responsible for considering the possibility that the child with special needs requires a more stable schedule. The typical visitation arrangement for children involves the youngster going back and forth between the two parents’ homes regularly. This routine may be too stressful for a child who has special needs. Instead of scheduling brief visits with each parent regularly, it may be more beneficial to schedule lengthier visits with each parent. 

Some children have behavioral issues whenever they deviate from a previously set schedule. Therefore, co-parents need to work together to establish comparable routines. This is to make the transfer between homes go more smoothly. It is also essential that houses and medical facilities be located close. The strategy ought to include the method for housing and transmitting specialized equipment, monitoring devices, medication, and the like from one family to another.

Social Activities

The social life of a child with special needs is vital, and divorce should not affect their lifestyle. It is essential for the general development and maturation of children with special needs to participate in social and recreational activities. These activities should be enjoyable for them. In addition to contributing to their overall social and physical development, recreational sports and activities like art classes also play an essential role. Co-parents are entitled to an equal say in the scheduling, transportation, and participation decisions regarding their children’s extracurricular activities. The parenting plan should include the activities that have been agreed upon and the costs associated with those activities.

Planning Finances

When a couple decides to divorce, one of the primary concerns will sever their financial ties to one another. Most parents are concerned about their children’s futures and whether or not they will be able to maintain two households on one income. If one parent providing more care for the kid with special needs works from home, the financial worries may be even more intense. After the age of 18, your child will still require care. You must include financial provisions for him in the marital settlement agreement. 

In addition to the public assistance and government benefits that are available, you should talk about establishing a special needs trust. Your attorney may also be able to advise you on additional strategies to provide for your child. These include setting up a gifting plan or purchasing long-term care insurance. You can also specify, as part of your estate planning, whether the successor trustee has the authority to change the way the trust is managed if need be. This is something you can do if you want to make sure that the trust continues to be managed in the same manner, even if those conditions change.

Arranging Siblings’ Bonding Time

It is possible that your child with special needs may not adjust to the same custody routine as your other children while you are working out your parenting plan. In most cases, siblings maintain a consistent pattern when traveling between their parents’ residences. As a result, they can cultivate a strong sibling support system because they are always with one another. If one parent’s work is the only one that allows them the flexibility to manage their appointments, then it may make more sense for that parent to spend the majority of parenting time with the child. There is a possibility that an equal parenting-time plan will not be feasible for your family in the same way that it is for other families. Parents with special needs children need to know the importance of sibling bonding time and make adequate provisions.

Getting Outside Support

It is common practice to seek assistance from both within and outside of the family while raising a child who has special needs. Other members of the family may play an essential part in giving care. In addition, experts such as physicians, nurses, or teachers can lend a helping hand when it comes to taking care of a child who has special needs. Co-parents need to reach out to the people mentioned above for support. Your family may find that having the help of professionals is excellent assistance as they navigate this adjustment period. It is vital to make sure that these people are aware of everything that is going on with your child.

Conclusion

Co-parenting a kid who has special needs can be a difficult task, especially after or during the process of a divorce. Nevertheless, there are innovative approaches that co-parenting families can take to serve their children’s best interests. The ideas mentioned above are just a few examples to help special needs children remain unaffected in case of divorce. Families with special needs children should remember that specialists can assist with these concerns and more with the resources at their disposal. With the right plans in place, what seems too complicated a situation can be made easy.

Getting a divorce can be an emotionally trying experience for everyone concerned. Children frequently have the experience of being caught in the drama, and the tension that they feel can hurt their academic performance. However, things do not have to be as bleak as they appear. With clear communication, thoughtful preparation, a heightened awareness of potential problems, and sufficient time, academic challenges may be overcome.

Parents can develop healthy, supportive relationships throughout the school years. It is essential to have a realistic ideal standard in place to guarantee that everyone will accomplish their planned commitments and your larger-scale objectives for the year. Stay tuned to this post for further information on how to deal with problems that arise at school following a divorce.

Handling School-related Issues after Divorce

Divorce can significantly affect school arrangements if proper plans are not implemented. Here are tips for handling school-related Challenges after divorce:

Step up a School Year Calendar

It is essential to have a transparent understanding of who is in charge of taking sign-ups and maintaining the timetable. Some families find that retaining a shared family calendar is helpful.  For the children’s benefit, the parent managing the calendar can compile a list of essential weekly activities, which the children can quickly modify as needed. You and your ex-spouse must review the official school calendar for the entire year. Both parents can arrange for days off and early dismissals and determine who will be responsible for the children in the event of illness or other unforeseen circumstances. 

It is vital to have a conversation with your children about the extracurricular events and key school functions that they would like you to attend. By doing so, you can know how to mark your calendar accordingly. Ensure that you are set up to receive the proper school notifications and that your list of people to call in case of an emergency is up to date.

Plan for Extracurricular Events After School

Create a strategy for schoolwork and extracurricular activities. The most crucial step in reducing conflict and ensuring that everyone is on the same page regarding expectations is to plan. Assisting your child in concentrating on schoolwork also needs an effective plan. The more that can be written down, the better. This includes communication with teachers, household policies around schoolwork and television, who will attend school festivities, and even what children should wear to school. The same homework practices, down to the minutiae, should be agreed upon by both parents.

Parent-to-Parent Communication

Parents must agree on the academic preparation the child should receive while still in school. They should reach a consensus on who will take the child to visit colleges and what types of colleges the child will consider attending. Whoever takes the child should also agree to report back to the other parent. The parents reach a consensus on the children’s after-school activities as well. This includes the number of activities that will be participated in, who will pay for what, and how the children’s academic achievement and the parents’ concerns will impact the after-school activities.

Emotional Support

Outside of the environment of a public school, parents can continue to promote their child’s emotional adjustment by establishing routines at home. It is essential to help children experience the stability that is necessary for them to thrive. Having both divorced parents agree to the same afterschool routine can give their child a more profound feeling of foundation and security. In an ideal situation, children of divorced parents can adhere to the same standards about homework, playtime, and sleep.

Communication between Parents and Teachers

Parents can ask to speak with teachers, principals, school social workers, or guidance counselors. If a student spends time with both of their parents during the week, the student’s parents have the right and the responsibility to request two copies of everything. This includes report cards, school information, and even textbooks. Those students who are having difficulty with an assignment, such as sending in a photo of their family, should let their instructor know how difficult it was for them.

Financial Commitment

The beginning of each new school year often involves many different costs. There are divorced couples who agree to split each expense. Also, some do so in a manner that corresponds with the respective proportion of their income levels. There are also divorced couples who prefer to make a list of all of their expenses and then divide them. Consider carefully the amount of money that your children should put in, whether it be through an allowance, babysitting, or other tasks.

Both parents must be financially responsible, but it is even more essential in situations where the family’s assets and income are being shared between two people. In addition to being aware of and practical regarding the amount each family member ought to contribute to the costs, it is essential to be clear regarding the mechanics of signing up for activities and paying for them. This becomes an even more pressing concern when the children progress through the educational levels of middle school, high school, and college.

Divide your Child’s time appropriately

Make sure that your child gets adequate time with both parents. Children require time with both of their parents. The key to success in child custody agreements, including joint custody, is formulating a plan that enables the child to spend time with each parent. This is done without subjecting children to an excessive number of unnecessary transitions while in school. The children’s timetables, including when assignments are due, extracurricular activities, and emergency procedures, should be made known to both parents. This will ensure no surprises, which will significantly lessen the amount of stress experienced. The schedule ought to include well-defined requirements, but it should, at the same time, leave room for maneuverability.

Conclusion

There are tremendous implications of a divorce involving children. Parents must be actively engaged to ensure their children’s academic life doesn’t suffer. Children can experience emotional damage as a result of their parent’s divorce. But with the right plans and frequent parent-to-parent communication, ex-spouses can appropriately manage things. Also, if parents maintain constant contact with their children’s teachers, they can assist. A child will have an easier time adjusting to the dramatic changes accompanying divorce if parents communicate well with their child’s teacher.

Communication journals are a valuable tool that allow parents to communicate information in a brief, effective and to the point manner. By having the ability to use a communication journal, parents can be organized, and can often avoid many of the different scenarios, such as discussing expenses in face to face interactions, which can lead to conflict.

When we look at 2houses, we need to be aware of the whole app as a communication journal. Not only does it allow you to set calendars for visitation arrangements, appointments and other events happening for your children, but it also offers a budgeting feature, albums for apps and a specific communication journal. All of the features together help you become more organized, but the communication journal is the feature we will be focusing on because it has many benefits that will improve your co-parenting.

2houses Communication Journal Allows Families to Connect

During separation and divorce, the feeling of connectedness can be affected for both the parents and the children. Before the separation, kids had access to both parents, often on a daily basis unless work affected this. Afterward, parents and children quickly realize that that access is no longer guaranteed and there can be a significant length of time between visitations.

With this in mind, it is no wonder that parents can begin to feel isolated from their children and from the parenting role. The 2houses communication journal can help with feeling connected to your children in several ways, including having an album to share photos and albums, allows the parent and children to share messages and getting updates from the other co-parent that includes information on news, events and other needed information.

These feelings of connectedness help parents improve their co-parenting relationship. They know that they will still have indirect contact when children aren’t with them and this will enable co-parents to respect each other’s time with the children. This, in turn, can reduce stress and resentment between co-parents, which can make the relationship run smoother than without the 2houses communication journal.

2houses Communication Journal Creates a Sense of Stability for Children

As mentioned already, children have the opportunity to share on the communication journal. The app is very user friendly and this means that kids can use the app very easily. They can share the photos and videos that they’d like to share with the co-parent they are not with during the day, or even with parents where they are. They can also send quick messages to ground themselves.

By having ways to connect to both your children and their other parent, you can create a schedule, routines and rules that provide predictability for your children. And when you have that predictability, you will notice marked differences in your children’s emotional and mental well-being.

2houses Communication Journal Helps During Times of High Tension or Conflict

Another notable feature of the 2houses communication journal is that you can use it during those periods of co-parenting that are full of tension. This can occur during separation and divorce, especially during hearings and other court motions through which you are working. It can also happen later in co-parenting and may be caused by simple events that may not even have anything to do with the kids. For example, having to go through a move can add stress to one co-parent, which can lead to more opportunities for conflicts to occur because stress levels are on the rise.

With the 2houses communication journals, you or your ex-partner can take a step back and move to communication through the app only. This will help prevent conflict and you can recenter your focus to the needs of the children only. It is important to remember that the communication journal should focus on topics regarding the kids and not other arguments that you are having with your ex-partner.

Another point to mention in this category is that the 2houses communication journal allows parents to discuss conflict or tension topics in the communication journal. Some examples of this is changes in visitation dates, and expenses. By using the communication journal, you are less likely to fall into an argument than you would be if you were discussing this in person. As an aside, the budget feature on 2houses is an integral tool for dealing with shared expenses.

2houses Communication Journals Support Busy Schedules

Let’s face it, life is busy and having two houses for your children to switch back and forth from, it can be even busier. For that reason, it can be really difficult to meet to work on the co-parenting relationship. Sometimes, co-parents have only a few minutes as children transfer from one parent to the other…and with the kids being there, it can be difficult to really discuss important issues that parents need a few quiet moments to explore together. Which is why the 2houses communication journal can improve co-parenting because it allows a way for co-parents to mediate and work on their co-parenting relationship without having to set aside large amounts of time from their already busy schedule.

2houses Communication Journals Can Navigate Difficult Relationships

Finally, not everyone has good co-parenting relationships and may have to co-parent with an abusive or high-conflict ex-partner. In these instances, having an ability to communicate with that co-parent, in regard to the children, allows parents to focus on the kids without having to connect with each other. This keeps parents safe, prevents reverting to old patterns of abuse and creates safer dynamics within the co-parenting relationship. Communication isn’t always an easy step with co-parenting. There are so many factors that need to be taken into consideration but the 2houses communication journal offers a wide range of options that make communication easier. And when communication is flowing freely between co-parents, everyone will benefit and your co-parenting skills will only improve.

Dealing with the aftermath of a divorce is stressful under any circumstances, but doing so over the holiday season adds an extra layer of difficulty. It means spending more time with family members, some of whom may or may not be supportive of the significant changes you are making. It involves listening to opinions you did not ask for, even when the people offering them may have good intentions. It’s also possible that you won’t be able to participate in some rituals you enjoy.

The holidays and vacations typically increase the number of commitments, activities, and other demands on your time. When you factor in all of your usual activities, you may have a formula for disaster on your hands. Nevertheless, you can successfully manage the holidays after a divorce if you plan appropriately. Read this article to learn more details on this topic.

How to Handle Holidays After Getting Divorced

In the following paragraphs, you will find some helpful recommendations that can guide your decisions and preparation for the holidays after a divorce:

1.    Never Spend the Holidays Alone

Avoid going through the holidays by yourself after divorce. Although time spent by oneself can be very therapeutic, it is beneficial to the mind to socialize occasionally with other people and to make an effort to do so. You should try not to be alone with your thoughts for an excessive amount of time, and you should not avoid spending time with your family and friends. Spend as much time as possible with your loved ones during the holiday. This is to prevent your mind from wandering to your failed marriage and the possibilities it once held.

2.    Plan the holiday with your ex-spouse for your children

Cooperate with your ex-spouse so that the best interests of your children can be served.

Your children are the one thing that you and your ex-spouse will continue to share even after you’ve divorced one other. Nobody else is involved in the divorce save you and your spouse-to-be. Permit the youngsters to celebrate the holidays. If you and your ex-spouse work together toward a common objective, the holiday season can be as joyful for your children as it was in years past. Please find a way to maximize everyone’s enjoyment of the holidays so that everyone feels like they got their money’s worth.

3.    Create New Traditions

When there is a change in the dynamic of a family, new holiday traditions naturally emerge. Create brand new customs that are exclusive to your family. Experiment with something exciting and novel. During the holidays, it can be difficult for families that have been through a divorce. One strategy that can help is for the surviving family members to work together to start new family traditions. Single parents and their children should establish a new norm for themselves. Find out what your children want to do. Keep an open mind about new concepts. You could be the one to initiate something fresh that they will never forget.

4.    Maintain Discipline With Holiday Plans

When you finally have a plan, you should try to adhere to it. Remember that you are only one person and that you have certain constraints. Remember not to take on every responsibility. Do not pack your agenda to the point where you feel choked with duties. Ensure that there is room for flexibility. Take some time after each day to reflect briefly on the events. Keep doing what is working, and try to figure out why what you did before wasn’t working.

5.    Make Flexible Plans

Maintain your flexibility in the face of unforeseen scheduling conflicts. Swap shifts as much as you can so that the children can participate in activities that are important to them. Everyone will need to make adjustments to their typical holiday customs to remain healthy and safe. When it is not possible to change your parenting time plan, it is essential to be clear about the reasons why this is the case. You should also ensure that the cause is not simply that giving in to your ex-spouse would not make you happy.

6.    Plan for Gifting

Gift-giving is yet another aspect that can aggravate relationships throughout the holiday season. Many times, parents have varying gift budgets as well as different expectations regarding presents. Gifts received throughout the holiday season can also bring up legal custody problems. Before making significant purchases, you must discuss them with your ex-spouse if your co-parenting arrangement permits it. This will prevent arguments and feelings of letdown.

7.    Pay attention to other people

One more approach to have pleasure in the holiday season is to direct your attention to those who are less well off than you. You could think that you are the unluckiest person in the world at times. However, if you are willing to acknowledge that things are not as bad as they could be, you can make it through both your divorce and the holidays. Volunteering might be something you want to look into doing. When you focus on making the lives of those less fortunate than you more joyful, an incredible thing will happen. You will forget about your challenges and grow more appreciative of what you already have.

8.    Be Cheerful

When getting a divorce, it might appear strange to feel any emotion other than some form of distress. A divorce is a distressing experience that can nearly completely consume one’s life. Nevertheless, if you find that the holiday activities are making you feel happier, savor that emotion to the fullest. You have every right to be joyful and enjoy the holiday season just as much as everyone else.

Conclusion

Your life will go through a period of significant transition after divorce. Most people find that divorce and separation result in an increase in obligations and a drop in financial resources and free time. Make sure you take all of these things into consideration during the Christmas season. If you do, it will be much simpler for you to be realistic about your expectations for yourself, your family, and the holidays. Remember that you do not stand alone. If you are having trouble, you should think about going to a support group so that you may talk to other people who are going through the same problems that you are.

Conflict happens; after all, you are moving through a separation and divorce and that time is always high conflict and high tension. Of course, you don’t want that conflict when you are co-parenting your children for their well-being and happiness. But how do you manage that conflict? In this article, we will go over some amazing tips that will help you get through those high conflict moments in your co-parenting arrangements.

Before we look at those tips, it is important to stress that managing conflict quickly is very important for co-parenting. If you don’t manage that conflict in a mature and timely manner, it can cause more damage to the co-parenting relationship and can lead to more conflict occurring and a harder relationship overall. Tackling hard issues means that you and your ex-partner can focus on what’s important for the best interests of your kids.

Build a Foundation of Trust

This really isn’t something that you do in the middle of a conflict, but it is so important in managing conflict as you can move through it much faster when you have a foundation of trust. To do this, make sure that you are consistent and reliable in your co-parenting—give important updates quickly, make sure you are always on schedule for visitations, etc., and be honest about expenses. 

When you have trust, you will find that conflicts occur at a lower rate and are resolved much faster than when you don’t. 

Avoid Taking Offense

The second tip that you should always follow is to avoid taking offense for several reasons. First, the co-parent may only be trying to explain how they are feeling about a situation. Second, when you take offense, you end up being emotional as well, which can compound and complicate the conflict. Third, it is easier to really understand what the conflict is about without having to worry about being offended.

Sometimes, when you approach it in this manner, you realize that there are legitimate concerns. Even if the concerns aren’t, for your co-parent, they clearly are so you can approach it level-headed and help them see where the misunderstanding is or where you can both get to a resolution much faster than if you are both upset. 

Choose Communication that is Low-Conflict

Low-conflict communication should never be confused with being a pushover. What we mean when we say low conflict is that you stick to facts and avoid meeting your ex-partner with the same energy. If you become defensive or angry, it can lead to further conflicts and a breakdown of the co-parenting arrangement that you have.

In moments when you can’t be low conflict, take a step back. You want to avoid engaging in the similar manner. One analogy that many therapists make is that arguments and conflict is like stepping into a sandbox. For every minute you are in the sandbox arguing, you revert a year in age. Within 15 minutes, you are suddenly at the same emotional level as a teen (or younger) and it can become impossible to be rational after that point.

When you feel yourself being pulled into that sandbox, take a break. You are no longer together as partners and you can say, I need a few minutes to collect myself, or I can’t talk right now as I’m too upset. Once you are able to collect yourself, return to the conflict or, if you find it impossible not to match emotions, move to journal communication to avoid as much conflict as possible. 

Don’t Shy Away From Apologies

Finally, don’t shy away from apologizing. We all make mistakes and it is important to identify your own mistakes in a conflict. It might be a minor or reactionary mistake, but you should still apologize. 

Even if you don’t apologize, don’t play the blame game. Move away from it and say, this happened so how do we fix it for the kids. In addition, if you are not at fault at all, and are receiving the apology, try to accept the apology without any type of retaliatory behaviour. 

Once the apology is made, make sure that you do not hold grudges and encourage the same from your ex-partner. Grudges will only lead to more conflict and will harm the relationships you and your ex-partner have with your children.

What Should I do If my Ex-Partner is High Conflict?

First, we should let you know that it happens. Even with the best mediation that money can buy, some ex-partners can’t move behind the emotions they felt from getting divorced. Second, you shouldn’t force a relationship if your ex-partner is abusive and has continued that behaviour after the divorce. In that case, co-parenting apps, like 2houses, can make it much easier to navigate and avoid the ex-partner as needed. 

If your ex-partner is a high conflict co-parent, there are a few things that you should keep in mind.

1. Accept that he or she is high conflict. This can be difficult but when you accept it, you’ll find that you don’t have to control the outcome. All you need to do is focus on your own emotions, not step into the conflict and focus on the kids. The 2houses app works excellent in providing that space where you can manage your emotions or navigating your ex-partners without a lot of conflict.
2. Set boundaries for yourself. We often think of this is in boundaries that you tell your high conflict ex-partner about but it isn’t. These are boundaries that you are going to set just for you that you don’t have to let your ex-partner know. This can be that you won’t defend yourself. You won’t respond to messages right away, or you will only meet your ex-partner for child transfer with other people present. Having boundaries can keep you from reacting in a high conflict manner and may help reduce his or her high conflict tendencies.
3. Discuss things with your child. If your ex-partner is badmouthing you, it is important to not badmouth your ex back to the child, but neither should you just ignore the badmouthing. Kids can become scared by things said and if you don’t discuss it, they could believe it as truth. Discuss what was said, their emotions about it and if it was true, or partially true. You can tell them that their other parent is upset with you and sometimes, even adults say mean, hurtful things when they are upset. 

In the end, high conflict is not good for anyone in the relationship so it is important for you to correct these things before they go too far. Find ways to communicate with your co-parent through mediation or a mediation app like 2houses so you don’t feed into each other’s emotions. Once you can manage those conflicts quickly and efficiently, you can focus on enjoying the new dynamic you have with your children as a co-parent. 

During separation, negative emotions can be difficult to overcome for everyone involved. In fact, many times, parents tend to focus on their own emotions because separation often occurs because of a break down in the marriage. However, studies have shown that children suffer from a wide range of emotional repercussions during separation.

According to the Canadian Pediatric Society, separation, and later divorce, can lead to a number of negative outcomes` for Canadian children when it comes to their emotional, mental, psychosocial and physical well being. It is for this reason that Canadian parents should focus on emotionally supporting their children during separation…and this article explores the ways that you can support your children.

Emotionally Supporting Canadian Children while Discussing Separation

Before we launch into ways that you can support your children during the separation, it’s important to start at the beginning—the separation. Many parents struggle on whether to talk about the separation or how much to talk about the separation. In addition, the age of the children can make it confusing about what to tell them and what level will start to cause distress for the children.

The answer is complicated but regardless of what you tell your children, it is important to focus on their needs and emphasize that they are still loved. One of the many things that children feel during separation is parents leaving for good if they stop loving them. When telling your children about the separation, make sure you always focus on that fear and assure them that, no matter what, you will be there for them, even if you don’t live in the same house.

Other things that are recommended are:

1. Make a plan before telling your children. It is important to discuss when to talk, what to say and also who will be doing the majority of talking.
2. Avoid the blame game when telling your children. Even though emotions will be high at this point, you want to avoid blaming the other parent. Children need to be neutral in separation and should not be forced to choose sides or be resentful of one parent.
3. Allow the children to talk. One of the first steps to supporting them emotionally is to let them talk…and you don’t have to come up with solutions. Sometimes, kids just want to have their concerns heard, they don’t want a solution so only offer solutions if they ask a direct question. Give them the space and time they need to process the news.
4. Don’t get upset if children don’t react the way you expect. This doesn’t mean they don’t care but kids can focus on things that would seem strange to adults. They may be worried about where all their toys are going to stay or how they’ll have their bedtime stories if one parent always does it. This is their way of worrying about the separation, even if it doesn’t seem like it.
5. Make sure they understand they are not to blame. Many kids take the blame for a separation, even if they are older and understand it better. It is important to tell kids that they are not the reason for the separation and that it is an adult problem that they did nothing to cause.

Once you have discussed the separation with your children, many parents begin the process of separation, which includes moving to separate homes. It is in this time that it is important to continue to meet the children’s emotional needs.

Emotionally Supporting Canadian Children During the Separation

Now that you have started the separation, it can be a bit more difficult to emotionally support your child through the separation; however, it is imperative that you do so. While it may not seem necessary, it is recommended that you seek emotional support for your child through a trained professional. In Canada, some mental health supports are covered under the national health plan. To find services near you, it is recommended that you reach out to your family physician for a referral. From there, your family can be connected to the Canadian Mental Health Association that will link your children to important child and youth mental health services.

Having someone to speak to, other than their parents, can be one of the best emotional supports that you provide for your children during the separation as it gives them their own safe space to work through any emotions they might be afraid to discuss with you or your ex-partner.

Other ways to emotionally support your children during separation are:

1. Discuss visitation and living arrangements and how it will affect your children. Keep them informed on things as you both come to agreements. Kids don’t need to be asked what they’d prefer, unless they are older, but once you have discussed what visitations will look like and where kids will be living the majority of the time (or if you are splitting the time), let the kids know about it. The more they know about their routine, the more they will be able to cope with the emotions around the changes.
2. Keep those routines similar. Along with letting kids know where they will be, make sure that you keep routines as consistent to the way they were before you separated. If you need to make some routines different, try to gradually ease into those routine changes. The more predictability children have, the easier the transition will be for them emotionally.
3. Join support groups or organizations. If you can, find other families and children who spend their time between two homes. This can help normalize what is happening in your family and you can also get support and tips on co-parenting for yourself and your ex-partner.
4. Give them access to their old world. This relates to friends, aunts, uncles, cousins and the like. It is very common for kids to lose extended family and friends when a separation occurs due to the change in housing or family dynamics. When it is possible, allow them access to the old world. Be sure to schedule access during family events so they can stay connected to your side of the family. In addition, if the kids had to move, try to find ways for them to connect with their old friends. Having these additional connections can help them avoid feeling isolated and alone.
5. Keep your kids out of the battle. During separation, it can be easy to bring your kids into the battle by talking bad about the other parent, or using them to relay messages. This is very stressful for the children, forces them to chose sides and can increase their stress and does not provide any emotional support. Instead, keep conversations civil, don’t badmouth each other and communicate through a communication journal if you can’t have positive interactions.

As you can see, there are many ways that you can support your children during support, including Canadian supports through various Canadian organizations. By supporting them now, you can reduce the long term effects that can occur when children are not properly supported.