Category: Uncategorized

In the realm of modern divorce, the concept of alimony, or spousal support, continues to evoke debates and discussions among individuals of varying age groups. While younger generations often perceive alimony as an outdated practice, older demographics, particularly those with prior marital experiences, argue for its enduring significance. This article delves into the multifaceted aspects of alimony, examining its historical roots, evolving societal perceptions, and its role in promoting financial equity in marriages.

Historical Perspective:

Alimony, deriving from the Latin term “alimōnia,” meaning sustenance, has a rich historical lineage dating back to ancient civilizations. Initially conceived to provide financial assistance to predominantly women post-divorce, it reflected traditional gender roles and property ownership dynamics. From the Babylonian Code of Hammurabi to the Ecclesiastical Courts in England, the concept of alimony evolved as a means to ensure the well-being of financially dependent spouses, primarily wives, following marital dissolution.

Evolving Societal Perceptions:

As societal norms progressed and gender roles evolved, perceptions surrounding marriage and divorce underwent significant transformations. With both men and women actively participating in the workforce, the traditional notion of alimony as a solely male obligation became increasingly obsolete. Contemporary family court justices are reevaluating outdated assumptions, striving for a more equitable interpretation of spousal support laws that transcends gender biases.

Financial Equality in Marriage:

In today’s society, characterized by dual-income households and shared financial responsibilities, the concept of financial equality between spouses has gained prominence. The idea that one party should receive financial support solely based on past marital status is increasingly viewed as outdated and inequitable. Instead, the focus has shifted towards assessing individual circumstances and needs, irrespective of gender, to determine the appropriateness of alimony arrangements.

Determining Alimony: Individual Circumstances:

While the need for alimony may vary depending on individual circumstances, certain situations warrant its consideration. For instance, when one spouse significantly outearns the other or if a parent needs to fulfill caregiving responsibilities for young children, temporary alimony can serve as a fair interim solution. The aim is to facilitate financial independence for the recipient while ensuring the well-being of all parties involved.

Shared Responsibility in Child Support:

In line with the rules about alimony, child support is about both parents doing their part to take care of their kids. It means sharing the costs fairly, based on what each parent earns. Child support plans try to be fair to everyone and focus on what’s best for the kids. If one parent stays home with the child because they’re not in school yet, the other parent should help out with money until that parent can work again.

Both parents need to chip in for their kid. If one parent earns a lot more, they should give more money to support the child. That’s just fair. So, instead of always splitting everything exactly in half, it might be more like 75/25 or whatever seems right. For instance, if a mom earns three times more than the dad, she should contribute more money to help with the child’s needs. It’s all about being fair to the child.

Promoting Fairness and Equity:

In essence, the objective of alimony and child support is to safeguard the financial stability of individuals and their children throughout and post-divorce. It is imperative that these mechanisms are not misused or leveraged as tools of retribution. Instead, they should uphold principles of fairness and equity, ensuring that neither party emerges as the victor or victim in the dissolution of marriage.

Conclusion:

As societal dynamics continue to evolve, the relevance of alimony in modern divorce remains a subject of ongoing scrutiny and adaptation. By acknowledging historical foundations, embracing contemporary perspectives on gender equality, and prioritizing individual circumstances, the legal framework surrounding alimony can better serve the interests of all parties involved. Ultimately, the aim is to foster fairness, equity, and financial stability in marital dissolution proceedings

When your children are first born, it can feel like every little thing has to be kept track of, including feedings, diaper changes and how often they’re sleeping. As your children get older, you spend a lot less time tracking these types of things, but their schedules are busy in a different way. There are extracurricular activities, sports practice and games, school events and play dates. All of this is plenty when everyone is under the same roof, but it gets even more complicated when you have to share and manage all of this information between two separate households. Here are some tips on how to manage your coparenting calendar for an easier and more streamlined process.

Managing the Calendar

The first step in creating a coparenting calendar that works for your situation is to make a master list of everything you may need to share with the other parent. We’ve covered some of the most common activities and events below, but keep in mind that every situation is different. If your child regularly attends therapy, it’s a good idea for both parents to know when those appointments are. It can also be of benefit to have a daily schedule for young children that’s shared between the two parents so that their routines can be kept similar. This ensures that the children feel safe in both spaces and know what to expect.

Extracurricular Activities

Extracurricular activities involve anything from sports and music lessons to debate team and theater. Even with young children, these activities can involve multiple practices a week as well as games, tournaments, and larger competitions. It’s likely that at least some of these activities will need to happen across both parents’ parenting time, so sharing schedules is important. It’s a good idea to ensure that the time, place, and supervising adult is listed on the event. A phone number for the coach or teacher is also a good idea in case you have trouble finding the location or are running late and need to be let into a building.

School Events

From tea with Mom and crazy hair day to Valentine’s boxes and birthday treats, having school-aged children comes with a lot of events and paperwork to keep track of. This can be especially challenging if you have a shared parenting schedule, such as one week on and one week off or 2-2-3 schedule. Sharing all of this information online through a data bank or shared calendar like 2houses offers can ensure everyone knows what’s coming no matter what house the kids are at that day, and it also makes it easier for you to keep track of everything when you can deal with digital information instead of endless paper fliers and notices.

Doctors Visits

Any kind of important appointment for your child should probably be on the shared coparenting calendar, but medical visits are especially important. Many custody agreements require both parents to be notified and to have the chance to be present at doctors visits, and putting it on the calendar as an event lets you do that without having to worry about whether the other parent remembers. You can also include other important information like the phone numbers and a summary of the visit if the parent isn’t able to attend so they can ask the practitioner any questions directly and request medical records.

Sharing Information With the Other Parent

When you’re starting to get everything together for your coparenting calendar, it might feel a little strange to be giving the other parent so much information about your life and where you’re going to be when. But unless there is a safety issue or a restraining order in place, it’s a good idea to think about it in terms of what’s best for the kids and what makes it easier on you. For example, if you have to deal with a lot of texts or calls from the other parent because they can’t remember when practice is or what building the parent teacher conference is in, providing all of that info in a digital format that they can check themselves can cut a lot of that back. It’s also a good way to ensure that everything is communicated in writing to cut down on he said she said situations.

When you’re getting information ready, try to stick to the facts and provide as much information as possible. It’s a good idea to cover all of these basics:

• Who: Make sure to note which child is involved, which parent’s time the event is happening on and what other people are going to be there that they need to know about.
• What: Note what the event is and what’s required, such as a uniform, musical instrument or homework assignment.
• Where: Be as detailed as possible here, providing an exact address that can be put into a GPS and other information such as “Field A” or “Enter through Door 3.”
• When: Provide start and end times if possible, or let the other parent know that it’s an all-day event so they can think about if they need to bring snacks or plan around other things.

Keeping Track of Information

A digital coparenting app is the gold standard when it comes to communicating the children’s schedules with the other parent, and 2houses has thought of everything you need when developing theirs. In addition to all of the other tools the app offers — from finance trackers to in-app messaging — the calendar has the following features:

• Color-coded dates to show who has the children when at a glance: Keeping track of which parent the children are with is crucial to knowing who is going to be taking them to events. 2houses lets you automatically create a color-coded version of your custody schedule superimposed into the calendar based on popular schedule breakdowns, or you can create a custom schedule to fit your needs.
• In-app schedule change requests: This feature lets you ask the parent for a change in the schedule, such as for a family event or holiday, so that there’s a record of the request, receipt of the request, and a record of the other parent’s response. It helps to have everything in writing and ready for documentation purposes if at any time anything has to go before a judge.
• Import special dates: The calendar makes it easy to load all of your scheduling needs at once, with import features for things like school holidays and vacation schedules. This saves you time and decreases the possibility of input errors.
• Syncing with most calendar applications: The 2houses calendar app can sync with most popular calendar applications, including Outlook and iCal, so you can have your own copy of the kids’ schedule in one place without having to share your personal information with the other parent or copy dates and events one by one.
• Calendar sharing: If you need to share your calendar with a third party, such as an attorney, family member, or guardian ad litem, it’s as simple as just a few clicks.

If you’re looking for a way to simplify scheduling and know exactly what’s on the agenda for each day without having to talk to the other parent or make a bunch of phone calls, a coparenting calendar can help. Check out what 2houses has to offer to make the coparenting journey easier.

When the World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 outbreak a pandemic, things changed very drastically. Many saw their typical routines turned upside down,  especially with most workplaces requiring remote work while daycare and schools are closed.

Families are spending more time at home together, and all of a sudden, parents faced a situation they deem unprecedented: working from home without access to playdates, babysitters, and Grandma-dates to get them through a snow day or a school break. Understandably, many parents are having a hard time navigating this “new normal.”

While there is no magic bullet that can help ensure everything will always work out according to plan, replicating the predictability and structure your child experiences at school can make a world of difference. Start by creating a routine that will give them some sense of comfort and control.

Many smart parents also incorporated doing household chores in their children’s daily routines. Financially-savvy ones even gave compensation for the help provided through kids debit card. What makes this option enticing is that it allows parents to teach their children how to be responsible and manage their money accordingly at the same time.

Ways to Keep Kids Busy During Quarantine

Below are some fun and creative ways to keep your kids busy during this time of lockdowns and social distancing:

Encourage them to write letters

Do you have a family member living in a nursing or assisted living facility? Social distancing means they won’t be able to see friends or family members in person and hearing from their loved ones would mean a lot to them.

Now’s the perfect time to help kids develop their writing skills (and vocabulary) by encouraging them to write a letter for grandma or grandpa.

You can even ask them to draw something for grandma or grandpa. They’ll be brushing up on their drawing skills while connecting and keeping in touch with their loved ones. Talk about a win-win!

Ask them to build a fort

With some blankets and a few pillows, your child can already create the fort of their dreams. You can challenge them even further and allow them to exercise their creativity by encouraging them to build and make a new fort each day. It will not only keep them busy, it will also help take their mind off being at home the entire day.

Allow them to do an art project

Get those paper, crayons, markers, and pens out, and encourage your kids to create art for you! You can also ask them to create art for friends and loved ones they have not seen and show their art masterpieces through video chats.

Encourage them to learn how to play an instrument

If you have instruments at home, now is the perfect time to encourage your kids to learn how to play them. You can also ask them to learn a specific song they like and ask them to play for the family as soon as you get together.

Get them into the habit of reading

Purchase excellent books for kids online and have your kids pick one they like. Encourage them to form a book club. Have them read a book they like and have a discussion with them about what the book is all about as soon as you get off from work.

To help them develop their reading and comprehension skills, you can also encourage them to explain what they understood. This allows your kids to play teacher while you play a student.

Hold your own show and tell

Show and tell does not have to be limited to the classroom. While you work, have them brainstorm and prepare at least five items for the show and tell. To give the presentation some structure, you can also provide guidelines.

As soon as you stop working, you can start the presentation right away. You can encourage kids to be more creative by giving out prizes for the best presentations.

Conclusion

When it comes to keeping your children entertained during quarantine, thinking outside the box is the best way to go. It will not only make each day fun, it can also help create incredible memories they’ll remember once everything is back to normal.

Mother’s Day and joint custody present a difficult challenge — if it’s Daddy’s turn, what’s the best way to handle the holiday?

If you think of Mother’s Day as an emotional holiday, you’re not alone. Splitting custody of children is not easy — especially when holidays roll around — but there are ways to make the process smoother.

Check Your Parenting Agreement First

First, brush up on the basics. Check your parenting plan agreement and see if the arrangement includes an exception for Mother’s Day. Most parenting plans will include clauses for special days (Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and so on).

If you have one, you’re in luck: custody is straightforward when its spelled out in a document. Even if it’s Daddy’s turn for custody, a Mother’s Day exception clause will grant possession for the holiday.

It’s Not Always That Easy

Of course, life is not always so easy. If you check your joint custody agreement and find no exception for Mother’s Day, the best step is to open a dialogue with your former spouse. Take the time to talk to your child’s other parent and see if you can come to an agreeable solution.

At its core, asking for custody over the holiday is a bit like asking for a favor. The father is not legally required to oblige you — keep that in mind! Present your case in a friendly, agreeable manner and try to keep emotions out of it. The moment anger comes into play, the chances of coming to an agreement vanish.

You Might Have Legal Remedies

Even if your parenting agreement does not allow for Mother’s Day custody, check your local state laws and regulations. Some states, like Texas, have statewide provisions that grant mothers possession during the holiday. It’s worth a quick check or phone call with your lawyer to double-check!

Alternatively, you could seek to modify your existing parenting agreement. You can do this by speaking to your lawyer about changing the custodial agreement. This is a big step — and not an easy one — so try to think of it as a last resort. It’s always better to come to an amicable, mutually agreeable solution with your former partner.

What Not To Do

It goes without saying, but always abide by the rules of your parenting agreement. If visitation or custody is not granted during Mother’s Day, stick with the letter of the law. Likewise, if your former partner violates the custody agreement, remember the law is on your side.

A Few Tips For Reaching An Agreement On Joint Custody

Depending on your relationship with the father, reaching an agreement regarding Mother’s Day might be a tall order.

Offer a bit of quid pro quo. Mother’s Day custody in exchange for Father’s Day may work as a compromise. Alternatively, depending on the specifics of your custody agreement, you may be able to ‘swap’ visitation days. In general, try to be accommodating and polite — the more you are willing to work with your former partner, the better.

Offering “make up” weekends is a great way to garner some goodwill with a former spouse as well. Going out of your way to show that your child values time with both parents will be much appreciated!

It’s All About Communication

Mother’s Day is a time when emotions run high and tempers may flare. Dealing with joint custody issues is not easy — even if we wish it were — so take the time to communicate.

See if it’s possible to swap custody days to make room for Mother’s Day. Alternatively, consider offering some “make up” days to sweeten the deal. You may also consider modifying your parenting agreement to include possession on specific holidays.

Whatever path you take, open communication with your child’s other parent is key.

Easter comes at the right time – spring is in full swing, the weather turns for the better, and there’s plenty of fun to be had. If you’re debating how to spend Easter with kids, don’t worry – here are five great activities to consider.

1: Dyeing Eggs for Easter

It’s a classic and for good reason – it’s fun, easy, and makes for great memories. Even better, it doesn’t take much in the way of materials or preparation. Just grab some eggs, your choice of egg dye (many companies sell Easter-specific egg kits), and you’re off to the races.

Of course, egg dyeing can go well beyond a simple color change. Test the limits of your kid’s creativity – challenge them to decorate an egg as their favorite superhero, for example. Glitter, sprinkles, paint, and markers all work to make your eggs really stand out.

2: Easter Egg Hunts

You’ll likely find an egg hunt thrown by your city or local recreation center, but feel free to make your own! Stash some eggs in whatever likely hiding places you can think of (and don’t worry, this works fine indoors) and let the kids loose.

To spice things up, a ‘cheat sheet’ with a few hints is not a bad idea. For example, telling the kids that there are five eggs in the kitchen might have them tearing up cereal boxes, checking the ice tray, and digging around in light fixtures. Of course, they have to clean up the mess they made – Spring cleaning can get a headstart here!

3: Egg Rolling

A handful of eggs, some long-handled spoons, and you’re golden. Egg rolling is a fantastic Easter activity with tons of versatility – traditionally, you’d ‘race’ to see who can roll their egg through the grass the fastest. Plenty of variations exist: eggs rolling and tumbling down a hill is a great (and potentially messy) way to change things up.

4: Jelly Beans Galore!

Jelly beans are oddly versatile little treats. Take the traditional “Jelly Bean Guessing Game”, for example. Simply fill a jar with the beans, ask the kids how many there are, and count them up. The winner gets to gorge themselves on one of Easter’s most addictive snacks.

If you’re looking to make things a little more challenging (or potentially yucky!), opt for a twist on the “guess the flavor” game. It’s more than possible to find different sets of jelly beans that come in a range of weird, wacky, and wild flavors. Asking the kids to discern the differences between cherry, strawberry, potato, and ‘stinky socks’ flavors is sure to get some laughs!

5: Get the Yard Involved

Eggs, bunnies, and jelly beans make for a fantastic Easter. However, what about an activity that has a real sense of permanence?

Enter the Easter Garden!

If you’re lucky enough to have garden space, Easter is a perfect time to really make the most of it. If you’re limited on space outdoors, a window planter/window box is a fantastic (and affordable) alternative.

Feel free to plant a range of spring fruits and vegetables, but don’t forget the quintessential Easter flower – the white lily. Tulips, daisies, and hyacinths are excellent as well. Throw in some azalea for extra color and, voilà, an Easter garden will be a fixture in your kid’s lives for weeks to come.

Easter Doesn’t Have To Be Complicated

You’ll find that springtime often offers its own solutions – get outside, get active, and let the weather speak for itself. If the weather doesn’t allow for outdoor mischief, every activity listed above can be done indoors (just be careful with the eggs). Stick with some traditional activities and Easter with kids!

You’ve just joined 2houses and can’t find your way around? Here are some explanations to configure your account. 2houses will no longer keep any secrets from you!

Step one : invite my co-parent

When you created your account, you entered the name of your co-parent. To invite him/her, follow this process:

1. Go to “My Family”
2. Click on “Members”
3. Click on the key below your co-parent’s name

When you click on the key, you just have to enter the co-parent’s email address. You can write a personal message or you can send a pre-written invitation by 2houses.

Finally, when you want to verify if the co-parent did accept your request, you just have to return to the “My family” page and you will be able to see if the co-parent accepted your invitation or not.

Not applicable if you’re the invited co-parent.

Step 2 : Create a parenting schedule

To create your first custody calendar:

1. Go to the page “Calendar”
2. Then in the subcategory, select “Parenting schedules”
3. Click on “Create a parenting schedule” or “Create my first parenting schedules.” Both choices will take you to the same page.

Once you clicked on that button, choose the model that suits you.

Or, compose your schedule manually. Select the days and the parent to personalize your planning.

Step 3 : Create a holidays schedule

Just like the “joint custody” calendar you need to follow these steps:

1. Go to “Agenda”
2. Click on “Parenting schedules”
3. Click on “Create a parenting schedule”

Then, just as you did for joint custody schedule, select the child concerned and select “create yours manually.”

Once this is done, give your schedule a name, and insert the start and end dates. Then click on the first day of the week and say where the child will spend the night. Repeat this until the desired date. If you want to add an extra week, click on «add a week.» If this schedule does not repeat, press «Do not repeat and apply until …» If necessary, press «Repeats until …» When you have established your schedule, click on «Create this parenting schedule.»

The vacation schedule will overlay the standard schedule on the agreed dates. See: lexicon p.10. from the PDF.

Step 4 : Create a change request

To create your change request, click on:

1. “Calendar”
2. “Change requests”
3. “Create a change request”

Select the parent and a date. Add a note if you want to. Once you entered all of the information, click on “Create this change request.”

Once this step is done, you will see the change request in your calendar.
In this case, the change request hasn’t been accepted yet by the co-parent. That’s why both of the schedules are visible.

Step 5 : Create an event

When you’re on the dashboard:

1. Click on “Calendar”
2. Then on the subdivision “Event”
3. Finally on “Create an event”

When you click on that button, you will arrive on the event page. Fill in what’s asked. You can choose this event to be recurring.

You also can choose this event to happen only once.

Once you configure your event, click on “Create this event.”

Step 6 : Create an expense

To create an expense, please follow these steps:

1. Click on “Finances”
2. Then on the subdivision “expenses”
3. Finally on “Report a new expense”

When you’re on the expenses page, fill in the price, the date, and the reason. Then, for the category, if you don’t have any yet, click on “create a new category.”

For the category, fill in the title, the share proportion, and if you want to, an explanation note. Click on “create a category.”

You now can fill in all of the other details of the expense. You also can attach a file (the picture of your receipts, for example).

If your expense is subject to an external reimbursement (ex: health service), click on “subject to a reimbursement” and tell the beneficiary.

Finally, click on “Report this expense” and don’t forget that the beneficiary of the reimbursement will need to encode this reimbursement once he/ she receives it. A blue notification will appear until the reimbursement is done. You can encode it via the double arrow.

2houses has no longer secret to you now!

Printable PDF version available here :

PDF 2houses – first step 2houses – EN version

The end of your marital relationship doesn’t spell the end of your relationships with your mutual friends. It might seem daunting or confusing, but maintaining healthy connections with the people in your life is part of moving forward.

If you’re interested in getting over a break up, this article is for you. Divorce is between you and your former spouse — mutual friends are definitely feasible post-divorce!

1: It’s Not About Sides

Divorces, even the most amicable ones, can place a serious strain on mutual friends. If your first inclination is to try to “divide up” your mutual friends, try to think positively. True friends respect each others’ choices. The more you attempt you try to persuade mutual friends to take sides, the more stress you put on your relationships.

Remember why you’re friends in the first place. You enjoy each other’s company — keep it that way!

2: Keep a Positive Attitude When Getting Over a Break Up

Think about it from your friend’s perspective. That person wants to remain friends with both you and your ex. It’s better to keep the drama and gossip of your previous relationship away from mutual friends.

Not only does gossip always come back to haunt you, but you’ll garner a lot of goodwill by keeping it respectful. Focus on enjoying the friendships you’ve made over everything else.

3: Yes, Some Losses Are Normal

Take a deep breath. It’s unlikely that you’ll remain friends with everyone in your mutual friend circle. It’s perfectly normal and healthy for some friendships to be contingent on “pairs” — you and your ex, for example — so don’t fret if some friends drift away.

We all have people in our lives that naturally fade away; it’s a part of life.

In that same vein, don’t expect to remain amazing friends with your ex’s best friend! Your friends will naturally gravitate towards their preferred relationships. Let it happen and enjoy the relationships that you keep.

4: Communication Is Key

It might be a bit of a cliche, but communication really is key. If possible, communicate with your mutual friends to see if your ex will appear at social gatherings. Ask yourself if you’re okay with seeing your former spouse at a social event. If you’d rather limit contact, that’s great — you should feel zero pressure here. If you’d prefer to live completely separate lives, communicate that to your friend group.

After all, your friends are autonomous, intelligent, and capable people. Make it clear whether or not you’d like to see your ex at events. Your friends will keep you in the loop.

Of course, if possible, sit down with your former spouse. Discuss which friendships you know you want to keep. If your ex is adamant about ‘splitting’ friends, keep an open mind and communicate your wishes clearly.

5: Be Adaptable

Above all else, be adaptable. After a breakup or divorce, mutual friends will inevitably shift. Some relationships will end, some will become stronger. Stay flexible and realize that your friends are independent people with lives outside of your breakup!

Let them live their lives and enjoy the friendships you have.

Likewise, remember that even the best of friends may make mistakes. If you have an understanding with your mutual friends that you and your ex don’t want to meet at social gatherings, be flexible. Communication mishaps, confusion, and plain forgetfulness might have you wind up at the same party as your ex.

Stay positive, be respectful, and good things will happen.

Getting Over a Break Up

It’s not easy getting over a break up. The best way to deal with mutual friends is to communicate your wishes to them regarding you and your ex. Avoid making your friends pick sides, stay positive, accept your losses, and be adaptable.

Follow these tips and continue enjoying years of healthy friendships with your mutual friends!

Whether it’s public, private, online, or at home, the process of picking a school comes up in every separated parent’s life. While who gets to choose the children’s school may seem like a simple question, it doesn’t always have a simple answer. This is especially true if the parents disagree, such as one parent wants the child to go to public school and the other wants to homeschool. To get you started, here are some of the basic factors involved in most cases.

The State(s) the Separated Parents Live In

Because family law is state specific, it’s difficult to answer almost any question about which parent can make what decision without taking the state into consideration. For parents who live in the same state and also filed for divorce in that state, it’s a fairly easy lookup of family law code. However, in situations where one parent lives in another state or the parents no longer reside in the state the divorce was filed in, things get a bit trickier.

In these circumstances, you’ll want to go by the guidelines for the state the divorce was filed in because that’s the court that has jurisdiction over the case. For example, if the divorce was filed in Ohio, but one parent now lives in Indiana, Ohio’s laws are followed. If both parents have moved out of state, it’s a good idea to consider filing a change of jurisdiction so that the case is being dealt with in the proper state.

The Type of Custody Agreement

What kind of legal custody arrangement you have with your ex is one of the most important factors when it comes to who gets to choose the children’s school.

Sole Custody

If one parent has sole legal custody, that parent usually has full decision-making authority. This is true even if you have a generous visitation schedule that allows the parents to split the time fairly equally.

Joint Custody

In situations where the parents have joint legal custody, the family court system gives the parents equal decision-making authority. Again, this is true even if the children primarily reside with one parent, which can still be a different situation than a court-designated residential parent covered below. Joint legal custody situations assume that the parents will be able to come to a mutual agreement on the important decisions involving the children — such as education.

The Residential Parent

A residential parent is a designation for which parent’s house is used for school district purposes. Residential parents can be used in both sole and joint custody cases. If your divorce took place when your children were already of school age, it’s likely your agreement already includes a residential parent designation. If the children were very young, it may be something you need to add in now. If you already have a residential parent as part of your coparenting agreement, that parent’s district will be used. However, if you want to try to go out of district, are considering private schools, or want to homeschool, the residential parent doesn’t really come into play.

Final Considerations

Great coparenting involves a lot of communication and compromise. 2houses can help you with this process by making it easier to share information and see schedules at a glance. It makes it easier to see the logistics of the situation and integrate the best interests of the children. As with any other coparenting concern, if you can come to an agreement on your own, it’s all the better for everyone involved. If that’s not possible, the decision is usually brought to mediation or goes before a judge who will have the final say.

Keeping a marriage alive and well has always been an ongoing challenge for couples. In the good old days, the “mother-in-law” was always blamed for interfering with the marriage. But today, social networking is the hurdle putting marriages to the test. According to Divorce-Online, a British legal service, more than a third of divorces implicate Facebook. And, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports that more than 80% of the divorce attorneys in the U.S. see an increase in divorce actions involving social networking. So, with social media becoming a universal form of communication, what can you and your spouse do to protect your relationship?

Don’t Post Anything You May Regret

It’s very tempting in the heat of a marital spat to want to vent. Before the internet, you would confide in your best friend over a cup of coffee. No big deal if you said some things you regret – it was just one person after all. But social media is real time and it’s not just one person you are sharing with … it’s the world. While you may be looking for an appreciative audience to validate your grievances, friends and family don’t want to be put in the middle – and it’s likely to back fire on you.

A good example of sharing too much information is a woman who posted complaints about her spouse every day on Facebook. At first, her friends thought she was just prone to drama or she and her spouse might be going through a rough patch. But as time went on, the posts became more toxic and her friends became more uncomfortable. One by one, they started to defriend her, and ultimately the couple divorced.

Regardless of the nature of your marital problems, sharing these matters on social networks leads to feelings of betrayal and lack of trust. And, hurtful posts can reduce your chances of working out problems.

Think About the Kids

If negative postings make adults uncomfortable, just think how they affect children who may have access to their Mom or Dad’s Facebook page? It can be very embarrassing for children, force them to choose sides and foster feeling of insecurity. Kids should never be a part of your marital fights … on line or off.

Set Clear Social Media Boundaries

Just as you monitor your children’s use of social media, you and your spouse need to set rules for yourselves. Nothing should be shared with the outside world unless you’re both in agreement … even good positive moments. Not everyone wants the intimate details of their lives out on the web, or pictures posted that they feel uncomfortable with others seeing.

Be cautious and considerate about whom you befriend. How secure do either of you feel with befriending people from past relationships? Refrain from posting comments to others that could be misconstrued as suggestive or flirting. And, come to an agreement on time spent networking before it becomes an issue.

By sharing your Facebook passwords with each other, you can build trust and help keep yourselves within your agreed boundaries. Remember that openness and honesty helps build the foundation for a good marriage. And, if you cannot post something nice … don’t post anything at all!

The most crucial component of successful co-parenting and child happiness is communication. Both parents must communicate amicably and effectively with each other. They must also facilitate positive communication between the child and parents, as well as the child and siblings.

Communication

Children often blame themselves for the end of their parents’ relationship as a way of understanding a confusing and scary change in life. It is important to communicate to your child that they are in no way responsible for what is happening. By stressing this message, you can help your child avoid developing anxiety or resentment over what they perceive to be the loss of a parent.

Getting used to having separated parents who live in different places can be confusing to the children and lead to the idea that he or she must choose between mom and dad. Use these tips to help your child deal with the feelings of “choosing” a parent:

• Let your child know that they never have to choose between mom and dad
• At the same time, let them know it’s okay to want to spend time each parent
• Make it clear that you want them to spend time with their other parent
• Have an open channel of communication so your child isn’t afraid to tell you if he or she wants to spend time with the other parent

Children are often reluctant to communicate openly during a divorce or separation because they are afraid their parents will be sad if they don’t take mom or dad’s side. Questions like “Will mom be sad if I want to spend the weekend at dad’s house?” or “Will dad be mad if mom takes me shopping for school clothes?” are common for children of divorced parents. By encouraging open communication, reassuring the child that he or she is not to blame, and stressing that neither parent will be hurt or sad by the child’s requests, you can help your child navigate this confusing time.

Organization

Along with communication, organization is essential to avoid many common issues encountered with kids of divorce. By keeping an organized handle on your child’s life, coparenting can be a rewarding partnership, rather than a source of conflict. Simple acts like calling the other parent if you are running late or have a change of plans can keep everyone happy and avoid conflict and resentment.

Organizational tools, like the 2houses website or mobile app, allow you and your co-parent to have a shared source of information pertaining to your child including a calendar, journal, photo album, finance notes, messages, and an info bank. By using this app, which lets you instantly share information synched to your phones, many of the hassles of coordinating drop offs and pick ups, finance issues, and relaying information of your child, can all be done with a few simple clicks.

By focusing on positive communication and effective organization, divorce doesn’t have to be the end of a family, but can instead facilitate a loving co-parented family bound by respect, joy and, happiness.