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Creating a 50/50 Custody Schedule That Works

50/50 Custody Schedule

Did you know that, according to The Daily Campus, 39% of marriages in the US end in divorce? Considering how common divorce is, it’s clearly the right choice for many people. That being said, divorce can be a little more complicated when children are involved.

If you’re in the middle of divorce proceedings, then you’re probably looking into custody solutions.

For example, the 3-3-4-4 or 50/50 custody schedule. This way, you and your ex-partner can do what’s best for you both and your children.

Divorce can be a challenging time. It’s best to do what you can to make it easier for your children.

But how do you find a custody schedule that’s best for your family? Not knowing what solution is best for you makes this time even more challenging and stressful.

Fortunately, there are several ways you can use the 50/50 custody schedule. In this article, we’ll review the different types of 50/50 custody you can use.

This way, you and your partner will be happy with your joint custody agreement and your children will be too. Finally, you can move on and move forward, starting your new lives. Read on to learn more.

Factors to Consider With a 50/50 Custody Schedule

Before we go into the different 50/50 joint custody schedule examples, it’s important to review factors to consider. This is because, depending on you and your ex-partner, different join custody solutions will work best. The factors to consider include:

  • Distance
  • Communication
  • Work schedules
  • Activity and school schedules

In terms of distance, this custody schedule is best if you and your ex-partner live close to each other. This is because a 50/50 schedule requires frequent exchanges. If you live in the same neighborhood or blocks away, it can work easily.

However, if you and your ex-partner live far away from each other, this solution could easily become complicated. Imagine having to rush across town to drop off your kid. Or having to drive to another state every weekend.

As you can see, a 50/50 schedule is best if you and your ex-partner live close to each other. If you’re still working out the schedule, it may be worth speaking to your partner about this.

You could find a solution that works. For example, renting a room near the main house.

Communication

With this child custody schedule, communication is key. Because you will be seeing each other frequently, you need to prioritize getting along well with your ex-partner. The last thing you want is for your children to see more conflict.

If you and your partner have trouble communicating, it’s worth speaking with a professional. This way, if you use the 50/50 custody schedule, you’ll have communication ground rules to follow.

Additionally, you need to be able to communicate in case there are any issues that require patience. When meeting up with your ex-partner, many problems can arise that are out of their control.

For example, meetings running late or unexpected traffic jams. If you think communication might be an issue with these situations, you have two options.

First, you can choose not to go with a 50/50 child custody schedule. Second, if you really want this schedule because it’s best for the kids, use one that has fewer exchanges. (We’ll review the different options later in this article.)

Work Schedules

You will also want to think about your work schedule. Are you often at work late? Does your ex-partner work on the weekends? This will have an impact on your 50/50 schedule. Having a shared calendar can help you decide what works best for you both.

Activity and School Schedules

Finally, there are your children’s activity and school schedules to consider. If they have a long spring break, this might impact the schedule. If one of your children finishes school before the other, this could mean exchanges might be best during the weekend.

You’ll also want to consider your children’s extra-curricular activities. You don’t want your 50/50 custody schedule to interrupt the activities they look forward to throughout the week.

To avoid this, you can get creative and find a solution out of the following examples. This way, the whole family will be happy with the new schedule.

It can also help to speak with your children. If they’re younger, they might not be able to get involved. However, pre-teens and teens might appreciate you reaching out about these arrangements.

Of course, keep in mind that this could be emotional for them—so ensure you are comforting and open when you speak with them.

Example 1: Alternating Weeks

The simplest 50/50 custody schedule is the alternating week’s schedule. With this schedule, your children spend one week with you and then one week with your ex-partner. Parenting exchanges in this schedule are minimal, occurring only once a week.

Even though there are fewer exchanges, you’ll both spend a lot of time with your children.

A full week will give your children the time they want to spend with you. You’ll be able to have dinner together, share their activities, and help them with their homework.

This can free up weekends for each parent if the exchange is during the workweek or on Sunday evenings. If the exchange occurs during the weekend, then each parent can have a weekend day with the kids.

Keep in mind, however, that this schedule is best for older kids. They’ll appreciate the stability that gives them time to focus on their studies and activities. They’ll also be able to manage not seeing a parent for a whole week.

Younger children, on the other hand, might not want to wait so long.

Example 2: Alternating Weeks With Overnight

The alternating weeks with an overnight schedule is almost the same as the alternating week’s schedule. The only difference is that, in the middle of the week, the kids get to see their other parent. It might look something like this over one month:

  • Week 1: Kids see parent A, with a visit from parent B
  • Week 2: Kids see parent B, with a visit from parent A
  • Week 3: Kids see parent A, with a visit from parent B
  • Week 4: Kids see parent B, with a visit from parent A

This works if you want a simple schedule, but don’t want to be away from your children too long. However, it may be stressful for your children. It can be difficult to switch up where they’re sleeping once a week.

For this reason, this joint custody schedule also works better with older children. They might find it annoying, but they’ll understand. A younger child, on the other hand, might not understand.

This said, if you have teens, they may feel more heard if you ask them what they think.

They might say no to the schedule. They might also let you know what nights work best for them. Either way, being involved will help them during this transition.

Note that if you live a bit far from your ex-partner, an overnight once a week could be tricky. However, doing it over the weekend could be a good solution.

Example 3: 2-2-3 Schedule

Another 50/50 custody schedule is the 2-2-3 schedule. It works like this. Children stay with parent A for 2 nights, then parent B for 2 nights, then parent A for 3 nights. Then, you switch. They stay with parent B for 2 nights, then parent A for 2 nights, then parent B for 3 nights.

If you have younger children, this can be a good custody schedule. This is because your children won’t have to go as long without seeing you.

However, there are some issues with this schedule. For one thing, there are more meetings you and your ex-partner will have. Conflict could easily arise.

For this reason, if you choose this schedule, you should work with your partner to avoid conflict. Even though this can be challenging, it’s worth putting in the work.

If this schedule makes your children happier, then it helps to make these meetings less antagonistic. Additionally, it can improve your communication with your partner overall to avoid conflict.

Another issue with this schedule is that the days you and your partner have your children over alternate every week. If you have a busy schedule yourself, this can cause some issues.

With a schedule like this, it helps to have a flexible schedule yourself. For example, instead of doing yoga only on Mondays, you can commit to doing it once a week. Planning your schedule months in advance can also help.

This way, you won’t be blindsided by suddenly having to pick up the kids at school.

Example 4: 3-3-4-4 Schedule

When you’re using the 3-3-4-4  schedule, your children will have a bit more stability than with the alternating week’s schedule. This is because they will be seeing both of their parents more regularly. It’s also a bit easier schedule-wise for the parents.

For example, if the schedule starts on a Sunday, you’d have the kids Sunday through Tuesday.

Then, your partner would have them Wednesday through Friday. The only day when you would meet to exchange the children would be Saturday.

With this schedule, you would be able to have more movie nights, make time for exercise, and focus on your work schedule.

This is helpful not only for you but also for your children. Because both you and your ex-partner will be a little more organized, it’s less likely that there will be too much conflict.

You’ll also be less stressed and more productive with your time, which your children will notice.

Finally, it will also be easier for you to keep track of your children’s activities. This is because your schedule will be more finalized. You’ll be less likely to forget to pick them up from soccer practice.

If you have teens, remember to avoid having the exchange fall on a Friday or Saturday if possible. This may be easier for you or your ex-partner. However, it may be annoying for your teens.

They need some consistency in their social life, too. So speak with them before implementing this schedule.

Example 5: 2-2-5-5 Schedule

The 2-2-5-5 schedule is beneficial for parents in the same way the 3-3-4-4 schedule is. You and your ex-partner will be able to have more consistency every week. For example, let’s say you start the schedule on a Sunday.

In this case, the only alternating days are Saturday and Thursday. Every other day will stay the same, making it easier for your to plan your life. (As well as your children’s activities.)

This can also help your children have a better sense of consistency.

However, keep in mind that 5 days without seeing one parent might be a bit intense for younger children. Keep in mind that with teens, they might not want their alternating day to fall on a Friday or Saturday.

To be sure that your teens are happy with the arrangement, speak with them about what days might work best.

Need More Information?

Now that you know about how to create a 50/50 custody schedule that works, you might need additional information. Perhaps you want to learn about other types of custody schedules where one child is with one parent more.

Or perhaps you want communication advice for recently divorced ex-couples. Whatever information you need, 2Houses can help you.

They can help you communicate, create a co-parenting calendar, and more. To register with 2Houses, find out more now.

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50/50 Custody: How to Make Arrangements Work

50/50 custody

Studies have found that children who spend at least 35% of their time with each of their parents have better academic, social, and psychological outcomes. Joint custody is becoming more common and courts are eager to settle on agreements whereby children get to spend time with both of their parents.

In some instances of joint custody, there is one parent with primary custody. In other words, they have physical care of the child more frequently and they often make the majority of the child’s legal decisions, as well. What about in cases of 50/50 custody?

50/50 custody is exactly what it sounds like. Both parents share equal responsibility, equal physical care, and equal legal care. The question is, how do two divorced parents make 50/50 custody work?

Read on to find out more about what you and your former partner can do to get and maintain 50/50 custody!

What Do You Need to Prove to Get 50/50 Custody?

For starters, custody laws vary by state. While all states will consider granting joint custody, they may take into account different factors when making this decision. For example, many states heavily consider the child’s personal wishes while others focus primarily on each parent’s practical ability to provide for the child.

In order to get 50/50 custody, there are a few factors that are almost always required of both parents. 

Location

Some joint custody agreements can be reached even when parents live in separate states. For example, some courts will rule that a parent can have joint legal custody from afar. Some children will spend summers with one parent and the school year with another.

However, with a 50/50 custody agreement, it is imperative that the parents live in the same area. Since the child will spend time with both of you equally, you will both be responsible for getting them to school, extracurriculars, doctor’s appointments, and more.

Living close by ensures that your child will maintain stability even as they move between both households on a regular basis!

Financial Stability and Availability

Although love and support is always a key factor in custody agreements, the court must consider money, too. While you or your former spouse might agree to shoulder more of the financial responsibility for raising your child, the court needs to ensure that you are both capable of providing necessities. That way, even if your informal agreements change in the future, the child’s needs will still be covered. 

At the same time that financial stability will improve your odds of getting 50/50 custody, you will also need to prove that you are available for this kind of parenting schedule. The court will want to know what kind of hours you work, how often you are required to travel, and how flexible your job is in the event of an emergency.

For example, will your boss let you leave work early if you get a call from your child’s school saying that they are ill? How often will you need help from a nanny, babysitter, or child care program? If one parent is substantially less available than the other, the court will probably push for the available parent to have primary joint custody. 

Emotional Connection and Involvement

Emotional connection is where your child’s wishes come into play most heavily. You are most likely to get a 50/50 custody agreement if you can demonstrate that your child is has a deep emotional connection with both of you, rather than one over the other. 

Studies have found that gender bias often comes into play, even in a court of law. Many people operate on the belief that mothers have deeper connections with their children and the innate ability to stay involved in their child’s life. Unfortunately, this gender bias does contribute to the difficulty fathers may face in trying to fight for their own custody rights.

An emotional connection may be hard to measure, which is why establishing involvement is crucial in custody cases. If you are hoping for a 50/50 custody agreement, it is imperative that you both document evidence of their even involvement in your child’s life. 

Emotional and Mental Stability

Now is the time to set aside any personal disagreements and work together to show the court that you both believe in each other’s ability to raise your child. No matter how much the court wants to grant 50/50 custody for the sake of the child, they can only do so if they’re certain that both parents are willing to cooperate with one another.

Note that emotional and mental stability extends beyond your treatment of one another. If either parent has a history of mental illness that could reasonably put themselves or the child in danger, the path towards custody may be strained. The court will need to see that the parent in question is actively participating in a treatment plan and that the treatment plan is effective. 

We Got 50/50 Custody. Now What?

Most states will want to see some kind of parenting plan before they officially grant 50/50 custody. Parenting plans cover the basic weekly schedule as well as decision-making methods you will use, amongst other things. 

50/50 custody is a fantastic option for many children but it does require some serious thought and work on the parents’ end. We’re going to talk about some of the things you can do to make 50/50 custody work. Not only will these considerations help you talk through your parenting plan but they’ll help you find ways to work together as a team in spite of your separation.

Stay on the Same Page

We’re all human, right? It’s not unthinkable that miscommunications will occur. For example, you might think your former spouse agreed to watch your child this weekend when they actually said next weekend.

To avoid these kinds of mishaps, take advantage of growing technology to stay on the same page. Manage your calendar, shared financial responsibilities, and more with online tools and services. Synchronizing your availability, responsibilities, and even your observations about your child’s development will ensure that you both have all of the resources available to work as a team from separate households. 

Plan Your Flexibility

Planning your flexibility sounds counterintuitive, but hear us out. You can’t predict the unforeseen but you can come up with a gameplan to deal with last-minute changes to your schedule!

Imagine scenarios in which one parent becomes indisposed.

For example, what will you do if the parent who is scheduled to pick up your child from school experiences car trouble? Will the other parent fill in? Is there a trusted friend or relative you can both call upon in these types of situations? 

Having multiple back-up plans is a great way to avoid frustration and confusion. Remember that although you may both be two single parents, you are raising the same child. What happens to the child when one or both of you run into unexpected circumstances is still the business of both parents. 

Establish a Mode of Communication and Connection

It’s not always easy to keep lines of communication open with a former partner. You may have interpersonal problems that make communication difficult or unpleasant. For that reason, it’s best to come up with a day-to-day communication and connection plan that will cause the least amount of stress or strain. 

If talking on the phone opens the door to negative conversations unrelated to your child, consider relying on texting or email for your regular correspondence. Keep all discussions focused on the child and your responsibilities as parents. 

As far as connection goes, we’re referring to the moments when you may come into face-to-face contact out of necessity. For example, you may both be present for drop-offs, doctors’ appointments, and parent-teacher conferences. You may want to establish ground rules in advance.

Remember that in emergencies, your typical methods and ground rules may have to be set aside. For example, while you may avoid phone calls on a regular basis, they are still the fastest and most direct way to reach one another. Setting aside personal differences for the sake of your child is always the sign of strong parenthood!

Get Connected to Make 50/50 Custody Work

Parents who get 50/50 custody of their child are in a unique situation. In spite of their separation, they must maintain a certain degree of closeness in order to parent as a team.

For that reason, there are parenting tools affordable and easy to set up, access, and use.