Month: June 2021

Co-parenting can be challenging and filled with emotions. You might be feeling stressed from communicating with your ex-partner. You may also struggle with the organization required when your children are switching between parents.

Two people sharing responsibilities over two houses can be difficult. While some of that stress might be unavoidable, a lot of the details and logistics can be handled with a co-parenting app!

If you’re wondering how a co-parenting app can help you in separation with kids, keep reading this informative article! You’ll find practical uses and benefits that explain how an app can help you manage your custody schedule.

What Is a Co-Parenting App and Why Is It Useful?

A co-parenting app is a smartphone application that is built to help separated families. If you’re a divorced or separated parent, these apps help you to communicate with your co-parent.

Some co-parenting apps are for communication and messaging. But other apps also help you keep logistics organized. This might include details like your schedule, doctor’s appointments, soccer practices and even tracking expenses. 

It’s helpful to be able to talk to your ex about your children in one place. But, it’s even more helpful to also store all these messages and documents in one place.

In general, most co-parenting apps function to keep track of your children’s activities, time schedules, and expenses.

This is useful for sorting out custody time, as well as financial responsibilities. This also helps to make all the important information accessible to all parties.

The 2Houses app allows parents to exchange important information, like school details and medical notes. You can also receive help with storing documents and keeping messages with mediator access.

Frequent Features

One of the most important features of the 2Houses app is the shared calendar, which allows you to build an interactive calendar. You can also sync the calendar with other major apps, like Google calendar and Outlook.

If your child is scheduled for a dentist appointment in the same week as your work trip, it will be important to communicate all the details with your ex. You also want to talk without stressing about how to keep all the details clear.

Another essential feature is the finance tracker. This tracker allows you to log all the shared expenses. This means both you and your co-parent can view any expenses.

You can also build reports that show spending over time, and you can even organize this by category. This might help you to show how much you are contributing to your child’s costs.

Additionally, banking information can be stored on the app. Upload other important information about your children, like social security numbers, medical information, and clothing sizes.

You can be sure that this information will be safe and central. This way, both you and your child’s other parent have equal access to important information. 

This parenting app also contains a journal where you can write information to share. This allows you to share memories about your children as they go through important milestones in life!

The Benefits of a Co-Parenting App to Improve Communication

Now that you know the features of a co-parenting app, it’s important to understand the benefits of these features.

This way, you can begin to see how a co-parenting app can improve your life. The first improvement that you might see from a co-parenting app is communication.

Talking to your ex can be difficult, but it’s a key part of success when it comes to co-parenting. You and your ex need to be able to discuss any upcoming dates and events for both yourselves and your children.

You will also want to keep each other up to date on general life updates that occur while your children are in each other’s custody. This will end up creating a better relationship between yourself, your co-parent, and your children.

But, this can end up being challenging for two people who are no longer involved romantically.

You might also find that one person is more willing to communicate than the other. You might be sending messages about events, and they either got lost in the shuffle of their phone texts or they might say they never received them.

Keeping all your information in one central place helps to ensure that everyone is on the same page when it comes to raising your kids. This also helps you and your ex to communicate more healthily and respectfully since all the messages are stored.

If you also worry about your ex intervening in your relationship with your child, you can make sure everything is clear through the app.

Even in the best co-parenting relationships, it’s easy to lose important information about homework, playdates, and medical appointments, so a co-parenting app will help keep it all in one place.

Using an App to Help with Co-Parenting Organization

Another huge benefit of a co-parenting app is the ability to organize information between your houses. Not only do you need to keep your logistics in order, but you will also have a lot of paperwork to keep track of.

Many doctor’s offices and schools are using digital and email records, which makes it even easier to store your information in the app.

This also makes it challenging to search your inbox. So it’s important to be able to access your children’s records in a central place that both parents can see.

If your children are school-age, you will also need to keep all their school information organized. Imagine being able to store each teacher’s name, along with your children’s grades, permission slips, and school numbers.

You might have much more information about your children than you’d even think, and all of this should be kept in one place. Things like phone numbers for friends, insurance information, and birthday wishlists can all be stored.

Especially if you have more than one child, the paperwork and details involved can be complicated. It can end up as a stack of papers or a bunch of emails that can get lost or easily forgotten about. 

You can also upload other information like vaccination records and identification documents. This ensures that both parents have everything they need and that you can keep it all in one online filing system.

For example, your child might want to go on a school trip to another country. But one parent keeps all the important documents like passports and social security numbers. So you might be stuck having to call them for information.

By keeping these documents stored in one place, both parents feel involved in their children’s lives. 

The Benefits of Using an App for Documentation

As mentioned above, a co-parenting app stores your information for you in an easy-to-access manner. The history of communication through the app is also stored.

This means if you end up in a situation where you are disagreeing with your co-parent about something that is said, you can refer back to the messages, schedule, or document you’re referring to.

This is especially important if you are in a stage of the separation process with lawyers and court hearings. You will need to be able to show certain proof of expenses.

Being able to show both expenses and proof of communication can go a long way in showing your level of responsibility and organization. Since the information is stored for both parties, you will also not end up with one person claiming they never received a message.

So if you message your ex about arranging a pickup time and they don’t show up, you can refer back to the app to show exactly what was initially agreed upon.

Again, even in the smoothest parenting relationships and separation with kids, it’s still important to have documentation. 

For example, you might have agreed to share expenses. But you may believe you have been spending more on school supplies, clothing, and food for the past month.

With a co-parenting app, you can bring up a chart to show where the money has been going for each person.

Using a Co-Parenting App to Keep Everyone in the Loop

Aside from documentation and imaging situations where one parent is at odds with the other, a co-parenting app is also a great way to keep all the important parties in the loop.

Your children are more than schedules and paperwork, and they will be making memories with each parent along the way.

Staying active and present in your child’s life is a top priority for each parent. But it can be difficult to do this when your child is splitting their time with your ex. Technology has allowed us to keep people involved even at a distance. 

By using the app, you can not only arrange for face-to-face exchanges with your children, but you can also use the in-app journal to share experiences.

If only one parent can attend a play or game for your child, you can use the journal to recap the memory and help the other parent feel involved. You can add photos to share even more memories and store these important events.

This app is also helpful for day-to-day thoughts and concerns about your children in a private manner. So you able to share important memories with your ex.

You can also communicate in free space with your thoughts and concerns without having to message them separately from the app. This is a great way to keep track of updates about your children. 

For example, you might be trying to raise a teenager who could be telling one parent a story and change the story completely for parent 2. By communicating through a co-parenting app, you keep your kids accountable.

This will also make sure nothing is falling through the cracks. Everything will also be saved, so the journal is a great way to reflect on your children’s lives throughout the year. 

Still Questioning the Use of a Co-Parenting App?

Sometimes we are all hesitant to add another app or technology service to our lives. Especially when as parents, we’re already involved in far more things than we can keep track of.

So you might still be questioning the use of a co-parenting app in making your life a bit easier.

Whether you’re at the beginning stages of a divorce or you’re trying to improve your relationship with your ex for the sake of your children, a co-parenting app can be the right tool to improve your life. 

This is a great option for you to each is held accountable for your responsibilities. But it helps you to not have to physically jot down notes about schedules that you might lose later on.

Also, if you need a mediator, the 2houses app has a special feature that allows you to share communication with a mediator to keep your relationship and communication more civil and productive.

An App to Help Take the Stress Out of Co-Parenting

The last thing a busy parent need is another service to keep track of, which is why a co-parenting app helps to centralize all your children’s needs in one place. This way, both parents have access to all documents and notes.

Learn more about the features 2houses has to offer. Discover how you can start improving your co-parent communication to make your life and your children’s lives a bit easier.

Shared custody is now the most common post-divorce parenting arrangement, which means divorced parents also share responsibility for planning their kids’ summer breaks.

The school year flies by, so before you know it, your children will be home for the summer—and your normal routine goes out the window. A special summer timesharing plan must go into effect.

Will you and your co-parent choose to 2-2-3, week-on/week-off, or something different? When developing a summer parenting plan, hiccups may arise over vacation, family reunions, and the like. 

You can lessen the risk of these disagreements by working out a plan for summer timesharing in advance. Keep reading to learn how to create a summer parenting plan that works for all parties involved.

How to Create a Summer Custody Schedule

All families are familiar with how the hustle and bustle of summer break changes their daily schedules. However, when co-parenting, these changes become more drastic and concrete. 

If you want to develop a timesharing plan that gives your children a relaxing break while creating the least amount of family stress, you must start with the custody schedule laid out in your court order. Use this as a guide to filling out a monthly calendar according to when the children are with you instead of the other parent. 

Your divorce settlement may also layout who the children will spend various holidays with throughout the year. More often than not, the holidays rotate or alternate. The plans are set up this way so that if dad gets Memorial Day, the mom gets the Fourth of July, and so on. You must also account for Father’s Day and any birthdays that occur during the break. 

You’ll also need to take note of how much summer parenting time is allocated to each parent. For example, if you are a non-custodial parent that lives far away, you may have extended parenting time in the summer. 

Take these dates into account because these are the ones you’ll need to plan around. If your co-parent is entitled to eight of ten weeks of summer break, but with flexible dates, this gives you the room you need to plan a family vacation.

Plan Early

A lot of thought goes into setting a summer co-parenting schedule, so it’s best to start planning early. Remember, you’re planning around more than just your own schedule.

If you are proactive about setting the schedule earlier, you can take the potential stress out of determining schedules. Do this right, and you’re more likely to increase the bonds your children have with you and their other parent.

Plus, planning vacations earlier is just smarter—you can take advanced of reduced prices for plan trips, accommodations, and the like.

Look at Your Personal Schedule

First, take a look at what your personal calendar has on it for the summer. Are there any work or social plans that could affect summer timesharing?

Make sure to jot down any important dates now. These might include a family reunion you want to take the kids to or a conference for work out of town. Finalizing your personal schedule will allow you to work out potential future swaps if needed.

Also, check out your childrens’ activity schedules. Look for birthday parties, sports games, or other events you know they wish to attend. 

Will you want to attend any of these as well? 

There may be some events you’ll attend alone, but others you will together. Discuss this with your co-parent and work out an arrangement that allows you both to be as involved as possible.

Communicate Your Timesharing Wish List With Your Ex

Once you’ve considered your personal schedule as well as your children’s, you can arrange to speak with your co-parent about your ideal summer parenting plan. 

It’s important not to spring this on your kids’ other parent. Give them advanced notice, so they have a chance to come up with a list of their own needs and preferences. 

You both must know the difference between preferences and absolutes, especially when a day would fall outside of one parent’s scheduled days.

Negotiate for High-Priority Family Events

When allocating summer parenting time, both of you need to agree to modifications and exceptions for the benefit of the children. 

If it’s your year to have the kids on Memorial Day, but your co-parent’s family is hosting a reunion that day, your kids may benefit from exchanging that holiday for another that fits into your plan. 

When discussing these types of scheduled changes, strive to keep the amount of parenting time the same for each parent. If you ask for three extra days for a beach vacation, find three days you can give back somewhere else to offset the change.

No Premature Plans

It’s fun to plan vacations, especially when kids are involved. As you ask your children what they’d like to do for the summer, don’t make premature promises. 

Your kids will undoubtedly be excited about some of the potential plans. However, your job as a co-parent is to make sure they know that the plans are tentative until the other parent agrees. Nothing is certain until this happens. 

And if your kids are excited about a plan that your ex-partner shoots down, don’t blame your ex or make it seem like they have the last word. This can be considered alienation or lead to resentment.

Possible Summer Parenting Plans

Now that you know what to consider when determining summer timesharing plans, how do you put one into practice? Here are some examples of summer schedules when co-parenting children.

Regular Schedule With a Vacation Option

One of the most common ways of approaching summer break is keeping the regular schedule through the summer months. In this arrangement, the children remain with the custodial parent. Usually, the parents will each have an opportunity to have extended, uninterrupted time (usually two or three weeks). 

This schedule is popular as it’s not as disruptive to the kids’ routine. It might also be preferable to stick with the schedule to align with the parent’s work schedules. If both parents frequently see the children throughout the school year, there may not be a need for a separate summer arrangement.

A common issue with this schedule is that it can be difficult to manage when parents have to work, and kids aren’t at school all day. 

Planning summer camps, daycare, and vacations can then be complicated and lead to disagreements between parents.

Week-On Week-Off

Another arrangement to consider is a week-on-week-off schedule where children alternate weeks with their parents throughout the summer. This is a good schedule if you and your co-parent live near each other and both have good relationships with your children. 

The benefits of this schedule include equal time for parents, which is healthy for most children. It’s also an easy schedule for all to follow, and there is less back and forth. There is less risk for scheduling conflicts and plenty of opportunities for each parent to plan a vacation.

However, sometimes this is a difficult schedule for working parents. Making camp or daycare arrangements every other week can be complicated, overwhelming, and expensive. If you’re concerned about this, consider a 2-week on and 2-week off agreement instead.

Majority to the Non-Custodial Parent

If you and your ex live in different locations, consider an arrangement where the non-custodial parent exercises most of their timesharing during summer break. Since they’re away from the children most of the school year, visitation is limited. Giving them most of the summer is often an amicable way to approach timesharing over summer break.

Giving one parent a large portion of the summer break allows for the additional time needed to strengthen bonds with their children. It also helps children adapt to new environments and a faraway home from the other parent. They can take the time they need to settle in without the burden of school-related activities and stress.

However, the custodial parent often has difficulty with this arrangement as they’re away from their children for long periods. And for the non-custodial parent, it can seem difficult to maintain a relationship after only sporadically seeing their child during the other times of the year.

2-2-3 Schedule

The 2-2-3 schedule is best for parents who want to exercise long weekends during summer break. In this arrangement, or you have the children for two days, the other has them for the next two days, and then the kids go back to the first parent for a long, three-day weekend.

This works because each parent enjoys two days with the children during the workweek and has a long weekend with the children every other weekend.

Many co-parents enjoy this two-week rotating schedule because they get to have equal time with the children. Yes, there is more switching back and forth, but if the parents live close to each other and the children don’t mind the changes, this may be an attractive arrangement for your family.

3-4-4-3 Schedule

The 3-4-4-3 schedule is another 50/50 schedule that includes your children staying with one of you for three days a week and then the other four days. It alternates each week so that you may have the child for four days and your co-parent has them for three.

Parents enjoy the same nights with their children each week—except for the one that occurs on the exchange day. 

This is a great schedule because there are minimal exchanges, and children get to spend an ample amount of time with both parents each week. It’s also favored because each parent has equal time with the children and can assist in daily caretaking.

The children benefit from this arrangement because they don’t go long between exchanges. This schedule can work very well for your family if you and your co-parent have different work schedules.

It depends on which day of the week this schedule starts, but in some cases, one parent may have the children every weekend. When a schedule includes a midweek change, you must communicate well about daycare and summer activities. 

Additional Tips for Smooth Planning

Don’t go into a conversation with your co-parent about an alternate summer schedule blind. Here are some additional tips to ensure the conversation goes smoothly.

Be Flexible

While you might have your own hopes and plans for your children’s summer break, it doesn’t mean your co-parent doesn’t. If they want to plan a vacation with the kids, show them the same courtesy you expect from them. Be flexible!

Yes, compromise means you may not get the exact time you wanted or as much as you usually receive, but always consider accepting this in exchange for your wish list.

Of course, the structure helps determine who will have the kids when, but be flexible with that structure to accommodate activity or travel plans that your co-parent or the children may have.

The more advanced planning you engage in and the more willing you are to be flexible and work with your co-parent, the better your summer schedule will be.

Keep Communication Open 

When planning changes to your custody schedule, it’s essential to keep all lines of communication open—this applies to everyone involved.

Just because you’re on vacation with your children doesn’t mean they should be unable to speak to your co-parent. You may not purposefully interfere or prevent the child’s communications, but be aware that it can seem this way. Just make sure you’re encouraging involvement on both sides.

A common example of this is a parent taking their children out of the country for vacation and not bothering to purchase a cell phone plan that allows for international calling.

Your co-parent could take this scenario to court and use it as an example of you interfering with them speaking to your children, which is a type of parental alienation. The other parent can use this against you when modifying a parenting plan in the future.

It’s Possible to Plan a Schedule That Satisfies Everyone

Summer vacations are special—even magical—to children. You’ve committed to co-parenting your child with your ex, and that involves working together to create schedules that satisfy everyone in the family.

Whether you decide on the 2-2-3, week-on-week-off, or another arrangement, do it together so that you can ensure smooth planning and a summer that’s enjoyable for all. If you’re new to co-parenting and just navigating this for the first time, this co-parenting guide may help.

Parenting already is a difficult task, but co-parenting, especially with an ex-partner, may prove to be even more complicated. Adapting to the reality of being a co-parent isn’t always easy and swift. It might take a while to come to terms with it, and you’d occasionally have to make sacrifices.

However, always bear in mind that it’s for the betterment of your child/children. You might have to make some compromises you don’t like.  Being a co-parent comes with a heap load of stress. Luckily, this article will explain six ways on how to deal with stress.

1.  Find a support system to vent your feelings.

The stress and mixed emotions that come with co-parenting can be very draining and infuriating. You will occasionally get mad at the co-parent for not doing things your way or in a way you like.

However, It’s important to understand you can’t be in control of everything. Keeping emotions pent up might lead to harboring ill feelings towards your co-parenting partner.

Thus, a support system to vent your emotions will provide you the soft cushion you need to release all the negativity. That support system could be a trusted friend, a therapist, or even a support group. It will make you feel less alone, and your support system can also serve as a voice of reason or advisor during misunderstandings.

You could also release accumulated stress by treating yourself to some white zinfandel wine. This wine is fantastic, and it contains many ingredients that help the body relax.

2.  Effective communication is vital.

As a co-parent, you always have to be accessible to your co-parenting partner at all times. Communication is the most essential and fundamental part of good parenting. Treat your co-parent as a business partner and be civil with them.

Communicate effectively through a designated medium which you’d both agree on. Talk about everything involving your child, so you and your co-parenting partner can make the best decisions. Never forget they’re your partner in this, so don’t make decisions solely.

3.  Create a schedule or calendar to go by.

Organizing and creating a parenting schedule goes a long way in ensuring both parents get to spend equal time with the child. This helps prevent a dispute over visitations and vacations. Plan, even for the unexpected. The schedules will make your life ten times easier as few circumstances would catch you unprepared.

4.  Don’t view your co-parent as an enemy.

Any bad history or issues you might have with the co-parent should be left behind in the past so as to not affect your child. Don’t do anything spiteful to your ex-partner based on your sentiments alone.

Your children’s state of mind and wellbeing as a whole always come first. So, it would be best to avoid doing things because you want to prove a point to the other parent. Make decisions based on what’s best for your child/children.

Strive to have a healthy relationship with the co-parent. Misunderstandings are bound to happen when two individuals have to decide on the same thing but make sure it’s a peaceful and mature conversation that ensues. Having disputes or quarrels in front of your child/children should be avoided at all costs because there’s a high tendency it will reflect on their behavior.

5.  Leave the kids out of grownup matters.

Keep the kids out of your issues, fights, and decision-making with your co-parent. It doesn’t matter if you’re upset at the co-parent, don’t get the child/children involved. They might be acting unreasonable, but never badmouth or demean them to your child or children. Consider their feelings towards this parent and don’t make a big deal out of minor situations.

6.  Learn to be flexible.

There will be instances where your co-parent might want to switch scheduled parenting days with you due to some unforeseen events. Hence, you should try as much as possible to be flexible. It is essential to understand that not all you plan would follow the order you plan it, and that’s okay.

Above all else, you should put your child’s convenience above yours. Amidst all this planning, it is easy to neglect your child’s feelings altogether.

It would be best if you always had a contingency plan for times when you’re busy. Some of these include dropping your child off at a trusted relative or friend’s place.

Final Thoughts

Co-parenting can sometimes feel like an extra job, but it’s worth the work at the end of the day. Even though you might be busy with your child/children, care for yourself too. Take a time out once in a while to do something for yourself. Go out with friends, get a massage, go dancing – whatever it might be as long as it relieves your stress.

If you don’t relieve your stress and you allow it to accumulate, you would do more harm than good to both you and your child.

Research Article

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coparenting
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-co-parent-coronavirus-pandemic_l_5e7d1cc7c5b6256a7a27685a
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/issues-all-co-parents-face-and-how-to-overcome-them_n_57856348e4b08608d3321fd0