Dating after divorce/separation in the USA tips and advice for parents

The dating scene can seem like a difficult road to navigate. But the stakes are significantly higher if you’re a separated or divorced parent. You take your children’s sentiments and wellbeing into account in addition to your own feelings. Fortunately, you may confidently reenter the dating world with a little planning and persistence. Here are some helpful pointers for American parents looking to date after separation or divorce.

1. Ensure You’re Ready

Make sure you’re emotionally prepared to date before you take the plunge. It’s normal to desire company and a loving relationship, but it’s important to get over your ex-partner first. Make sure to give yourself enough time to mourn the demise of your marriage and to come to terms with what went wrong. This self-awareness can direct you towards happier relationships in the future and prevent you from making the same mistakes you have in the past.

2. Balance Your Time

It can be difficult to juggle your kids’ needs, your own obligations, and your new dating life. Keep in mind that you don’t have to decide between dating and having children. Instead, consider how you may include these aspects of your life. Plan times when your children are with your ex-partner or make arrangements for a dependable babysitter when you have to go for a date.

3. Be Open with Your Kids

For children, the concept of their parents dating can be confusing and unpleasant. Being honest with them and assuring them of your priority for them are crucial. Before introducing a new partner to your children, wait until a relationship gets serious.

4. Protect Your Privacy

Privacy protection is essential when dating, especially online. Keep your personal information to yourself, especially if it involves your children. Keep in mind that your family’s safety and privacy are of the utmost importance, and 2houses gives them equal priority.

5. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Keep your dating life and your children separated by reasonable boundaries. This entails refraining from presenting your kids to each dater and avoiding using them as a comfort or buffer when out on dates. Take your time and don’t jump into new relationships quickly. Before bringing someone into your family, take your time to get to know them thoroughly.

6. Consider Using Online Dating Platforms

To break into the world of dating, online dating sites is a great starting point. They provide a platform for you to interact with plenty of potential mates, which can improve your chances of meeting someone you click with.

7. Stay Organized

Staying organised can be difficult while also being crucial when managing your schedule and that of your children. You can stay on top of shared custody agreements and make sure your dating life doesn’t conflict with your parenting duties by using tools like the 2houses interactive calendar.

8. Be Honest About Your Situation

It’s completely fine to be open about and honest about your situation. You being a parent will surely affect your availability and priorities. Setting objectives will help prevent misunderstandings later on and it’ll be easier if you are forward about your parental status.

9. Don’t Neglect Self-Care

Don’t neglect your own needs when juggling your dating and parenting obligations. Maintaining your mental and emotional health regularly can improve both your happiness and your ability to be a good parent. This could be engaging in a pastime, engaging in physical activity, or just unwinding with a good book.

10. Seek Support

In this new era of your life, don’t be afraid to ask for help. These recommendations may come from close friends, relatives, or licenced therapists. In addition to offering emotional support and useful advice, support groups for single parents can also be helpful..

11. Be Patient

Finding the right person takes time and you don’t want to jump in and out of relationships at will. The process takes time and you’ll do well not to feel pressured. The whole point of dating again is to find the right person, and you will… If only you can be patient enough.

12. Remember, You’re More Than Just a Parent

You are not just a parent, you are an individual too, and that counts. You are human and as such, have needs, desires, emotions, and feelings, outside your role as a parent. So, while being a parent is a crucial part of your identity, it’s okay—and important—to pursue those personal aspects of your life.

13. Take It Slow

Slow and steady wins the race- in this case, relationship, especially if there are kids involved. Rushing into a relationship without giving the other person the time to get to know your kids might not be good for the relationship. Let the relationship grow gradually, and make sure that everyone is at ease and prepared for the next step..

14. Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

You don’t have to kiss many frogs before your Prince Charming comes calling. So, instead of going on numerous dates just because you can do it, focus on connecting with peeps who align with your values and long-term goals. Engage in meaningful conversations and get to know the other person and decide if they are worth your time and date.

15. Set Boundaries for Intimacy

When it comes to introducing new partners to your children, it’s crucial to establish boundaries regarding intimacy. Protecting your children’s emotional well-being means being mindful of how relationships are presented to them. Ensure that any displays of affection are appropriate for their age and comfort level.

Conclusion

It might be challenging to date after a divorce. You can, however, successfully traverse this new chapter of your life provided you are patient, truthful, and are dedicated to juggling your obligations. Remember, achieving the ideal balance is important for you and your family; what works for one parent may not work for the other. The secret is to pursue new love while remaining true to yourself, keeping lines of communication open with your children, and giving priority to your family’s needs.

That said, always remember that 2houses is always here to assist you sail through “new” waters. We work to support you every step of the journey, from our interactive calendar to help manage shared custody arrangements to our dedication to your privacy.

20 July 20231 June 2023

Tips for Creating a Successful Co-Parenting Plan in the UK

Successful co-parenting always starts with a plan. I’m sure you know that and have been faced with the lows that can often come when there isn’t any plan. Thankfully, we are here to help you overcome those lows and create a solid co-parenting plan in the UK so you and your ex-partner can be successful as co-parents.

So where do we begin? The answer is simple with these tips that will help you be successful.

Tip Number One: Know your Resources.

Sometimes, when we are in the weeds, we can’t see the many resources out there. Co-parenting can be like that. You feel alone and you aren’t sure where to start or even who to turn to. It can be a bit overwhelming but there are a lot of resources out there.

First, get a mediation app, such as 2houses, that will help you create and manage your co-parenting plan—the management part is the biggest benefit of the app.

Second, utilize some of the resources in your area. One place that is strongly recommended to go and check out in the UK is the CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service). This site is excellent in helping co-parents and they have co-parenting plans that you can follow to create your own.

Tip Number Two: Plan with the Kids Best Interest In Mind

In the UK, the courts always look at what is in the best interest for each individual child…not for sibling groups or for the family as a whole. This means that parenting plans may shift slightly when you are creating one so that it reflects the individual needs of each of your kids. For that reason, it is recommended that when you are creating a successful co-parenting plan, that you think of the best interests for each of your children.

One of the best ways to learn what those interests are is to talk to your kids as both a group and on one to one. Older kids may need a different custody schedule than the younger kids or you may want to have days where kids can have some one on one time. By putting the kids’ best interests in mind, you’ll find more success as co-parents because your focus is on the kids and not any tension from the separation.

Tip Number Three: Focus on Effective Communication

Communication is key to having a successful co-parenting plan. The better you communicate, the more you will find things go smoothly. Choose a co-parenting app to help you with this. 2houses has journals, calendars and many other ways to communicate that will be effective and proactive.

Aside from the app, have rules put in place with communication. Some rules to follow are:

Don’t use the kids as messengers.
Use email or texts if you struggle with face to face conversations, especially if they often become arguments.
During those moments of high tension, or conflict, never respond immediately. Instead, take the time to calm down so you are less likely to say something that will cause an argument.
Find some positives to share with your ex-partner and put those in the journal or photo album so conversations are not always around things the kids need or the logistics of co-parenting.

By having effective communication, you can avoid a lot of the pitfalls that can happen with co-parenting conflicts.

Tip Number Four: Be Generous to your Ex-Partner

Okay, when we say be generous, we are talking about little things and little acts of kindness that are learning experiences for your kids. Mother’s day and Father’s day can be a great example of this, especially when your kids are young. Take them out and help them pick out a gift or card (or help them make something). Encourage those moments and it will show your kids that you can still treat people well, even if you are no longer in love with them.

Another way that you can be generous is with time. If work keeps one parent from a visitation time, you can switch days, or give a little extra time before pick up on their next visit. If the custody schedule means the kids are missing the other parent’s birthday or an important family event for their side of the family, suggest ways where the kids can attend. This will help make your co-parenting plan successful and will also show the kids that their happiness is important enough to make changes for them.

Tip Number Five: Plan Ahead and Review

Finally, always plan ahead when it comes to big events, vacation time, holidays and so on. Both parents want to see their kids on holidays but it isn’t always possible so it’s important to plan well beforehand to make sure that you can create a plan for successful co-parenting. This might be alternating holidays or doing joint activities, such as birthday parties where both parents attend, and it could be something completely different.

You want to make sure that whatever you decide, you know well ahead of time so that you can let your kids know what is going on and it won’t be a shock to them. In addition, planning well in advance will ensure less stress and less last minute rushes to get things together.

One final point about planning ahead for these events, you want to try to keep the kids’ routine as normal as possible with special events and holidays. Kids thrive with routines and during separation and divorce, routine is even more important. Routines will not only help your children emotionally cope with the separation but will also teach them to be independent.

Co-parenting plans can be a success when you consider the kids, use the resources and tools available to you and take the time to communicate in respectful and effective ways. When co-parenting comes from the place of wanting what’s best for your kids, there is no way that it can’t be successful.

19 July 202319 July 2023

2houses_ Children’s Mental Health During Separation

Separation and divorce is a challenging situation for all those involved, but supporting your child’s mental health during the separation can help them adjust more quickly, and even foster a stronger sense of resilience. Before we begin, if you are going through a separation or divorce, know that you are still a good parent. You are here, doing your best to learn about ways to support your child’s mental health during a separation, and that means you are doing a great job. There are many ways you can support your child’s mental health during this separation period, and by providing your child with a loving and compassionate environment, you are well on your way to helping your child adjust to your new arrangement. Thank you for prioritizing your child’s well-being as you learn to navigate your new lifestyles, and know that whatever decision allows both parents to be their happiest selves in the long run is always what is best for your child, too. Now, let’s dive into the potential psychological impacts of a separation on your child’s mental health and how you can effectively mitigate them.

Practical Strategies to Help Children Cope During a Separation

1. Create a safe environment for their feelings

Encourage open and honest communication with your children by allowing them to express their feelings and concerns about the separation. Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable sharing their emotions. Expect your child to experience a range of intense emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, anxiety, and a sense of loss when their parents separate. They may struggle to understand the reasons behind the separation and feel overwhelmed by the changes and uncertainty in their lives. Children often internalize the separation and may blame themselves for their parents’ breakup. They may believe that their behavior or actions somehow caused the separation, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. When confronted with these emotions, reassure your child that there is nothing they could have done to prevent the separation because it has nothing to do with them, and that it doesn’t affect how you or your co-parent feel about them.

2. Maintain familiar routines and a sense of stability

Separation often brings significant changes in a child’s daily routine, living arrangements, and family dynamics. These changes can disrupt their sense of stability and familiarity, leading to difficulties in adjusting to new routines, schools, or living environments. During a separation, children benefit from a sense of stability and predictability. Establish and maintain a consistent routine that includes regular mealtimes, bedtime rituals, and other familiar activities. This can provide a sense of security and help children adjust to the changes more effectively. The more aspects of their lives that stay the same, even small things like making their favorite meals or snacks, the more quickly they can adjust to the new arrangements. Stability and routines need to be maintained at both parent’s living environments, and the 2houses communication journal can help make co-parenting stress-free.

3. Reassure them of your love, unconditionally

Children often blame themselves for their parents’ separation. Reassure them that the separation is not their fault and that both parents still love them unconditionally. Remind them that the separation is an issue between adults and does not change the love and support they receive from their parents. Sometimes, the emotional strain of separation can affect a child’s academic performance and social interactions. They may have difficulty concentrating in school, experience a decline in grades, or struggle with forming and maintaining friendships. If your child’s mental health declines during a separation, now is not the time to scold them for their grades. Rather, make sure they understand that you love them unconditionally, no matter what their grades are. Give your child lots of patience and understanding as they learn to adjust to various lifestyle changes and mental health impacts they may experience during a separation.

4. Never let your child witness ongoing conflict and negativity

If the separation involves ongoing parental conflict, children may be exposed to arguments, tension, or negative communication between their parents. Witnessing or being caught in the middle of such conflicts is distressing for children and may impact their mental health, so do your best to keep conflict between you and your co-parent private. Minimize conflict and avoid negative discussions or arguments about the separation in front of your children. Exposing them to parental conflicts can be the most distressing part of a separation and impact their emotional well-being. Instead, strive for respectful and cooperative communication with your co-parent, especially in front of the children. Learn more about strategies for co-parenting with a high-conflict co-parent, here.

5. Maintain regular contact within the family unit

Following a separation, children may experience changes in their relationships with both parents, such as spending less time with one parent or having to adjust to new custody arrangements. These changes can affect their sense of security and attachment, potentially leading to emotional difficulties. A separation can alter the dynamics within the extended family as well, including relationships with grandparents, siblings, and other relatives. Children may experience changes in their support networks and need time to adjust to new family structures. If possible, support regular contact and healthy relationships with the other parent. Encourage visitation or quality time with the non-custodial parent and extended family, as long as it is safe and appropriate. Maintaining a positive and supportive co-parenting relationship can provide children with a sense of security and stability that is crucial to their mental health and well-being. Learn how to make a co-parenting schedule that works for your family, here.

6. Remember to take care of yourself, too

Self-care is crucial during times of stress and upheaval. Engage in activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, spending time with friends and family, pursuing hobbies, or seeking support from a therapist or support group. A good parent is a happy and healthy parent that has the emotional capacity to meet their child’s needs, because they are not pouring from an empty cup. Fill your cup with people, places and activities that relieve your stress and enable you to bring that joy back to your children. If they see that you are handling the separation well, they will be comforted and feel more inclined to feel the same way.

Remember that every child and family is unique, so it’s essential to tailor your approach to your children’s specific needs. Consulting with a qualified professional who specializes in child psychology or family therapy can provide more personalized guidance and support for your situation.

Resources to Support Your Child’s Mental Health in Australia

These resources can provide valuable information, support, and guidance for parents and families experiencing separation in Australia. If you have concerns about your child’s mental health, it’s always recommended to consult with a qualified mental health professional for personalized advice and support.

Kids Helpline: Kids Helpline is a free, confidential 24/7 counseling service for children and young people aged 5 to 25 in Australia. They offer phone counseling, web chat, and email support. Visit their website: https://kidshelpline.com.au/

ReachOut: ReachOut is an online mental health organization that provides information, tools, and support for young people and their parents. They offer resources on a wide range of topics, including separation and divorce. Visit their website: https://au.reachout.com/

Headspace: Headspace is a national youth mental health foundation in Australia. They provide mental health support, information, and services for young people aged 12 to 25 and their families. Visit their website: https://headspace.org.au/

Parentline: Parentline is a confidential telephone counseling service for parents and carers in Queensland and the Northern Territory. They provide support, guidance, and referrals for parents dealing with various parenting challenges. Visit their website: https://www.parentline.com.au/

Raising Children Network: The Raising Children Network is a comprehensive online resource providing evidence-based information and resources for parents and carers. They cover a wide range of topics, including child development, parenting, and mental health. Visit their website: https://raisingchildren.net.au/

Australian Psychological Society (APS): The APS is the leading professional association for psychologists in Australia. Their website offers a search feature to find psychologists in your area who specialize in child and family mental health. Visit their website: https://www.psychology.org.au/

5 July 20233 July 2023

Co-parenting strategies for divorced/separated parents in the USA

Divorces or separations that include children may result in a particularly challenging and emotionally charged process. Co-parenting is an essential factor to consider for ensuring your children’s well-being and happiness as a divorced or separated parent in the USA. When parents that are no longer romantically linked come together for cooperative parenting, they can successfully bring up their kids. This article explores creative and effective strategies for co-parenting with the aim of assisting divorced or separated parents in navigating its complexities.

1. Prioritize the Well-being of Your Children:

Co-parenting entails making sure that your children’s needs come first. When it comes to divorce or separation, it’s essential to recognize its potential effects on their emotional and psychological health. Approaching the situation requires essential sensitivity and awareness of their needs.

Allot some time to actively listen and comprehend how your kids feel. Guarantee that they have a protected space to share their opinions and apprehensions without holding back. After validating their feelings, make sure to assure both parents prioritize the well-being of their children. Demonstrating dedication and unity towards their happiness establishes the basis for fruitful co-parenting.

2. Maintain Open and Healthy Communication:

Successful co-parenting depends on effective communication. To navigate the challenges of raising children across two households, one must strive for open and respectful communication with their ex-partner as it is essential. Setting aside personal differences and concentrating only on the welfare of your children is what this means.

Establish a cooperative and effective means of communication that works for both of you. Whether it’s through regular emails, phone calls, or utilizing co-parenting apps, find a method that allows you to stay connected and informed about your children’s lives. Remember to approach all communication with respect and kindness, keeping the conversation centered around parenting-related matters.

Communication should not be limited to logistics and practicalities alone. Take the time to share important updates about your children’s achievements, milestones, and challenges. Engage in meaningful conversations about their well-being, education, hobbies, and friendships. By maintaining a healthy line of communication, you demonstrate to your children the importance of collaboration and cooperation.

3. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan:

A vital aspect of providing consistent structure for your children involves creating a thorough co-parenting plan. This plan acts as a way to navigate custody arrangements, holiday schedules, and processes for making decisions.

Cooperate with your ex-spouse to develop a scheme that mirrors the individual needs and situations of your household. This process requires one to be flexible and open towards compromising. Consider the age and developmental stage of your children along with their academic obligations, after-school programs or hobbies they pursue outside of class.

Develop clear parameters for custody and visitation, describing the schedule and logistics. Specify the method for determining crucial decisions about your kids’ education, healthcare, and upbringing with clarity.

4. Be Flexible and Accommodating:

Co-parenting entails being flexible so that you can make necessary adjustments as circumstances change. Be aware that unexpected situations might arise, and you might have to demonstrate openness and empathy. Being flexible can greatly benefit co-parenting and help navigate last-minute schedule changes, rescheduled events, and unforeseen circumstances.

To make prompt adjustments, keep the lines of communication open with your ex-partner. Maintain a collaborative attitude when confronting these scenarios and prioritize finding solutions that are optimal for everyone involved, especially your children. Through modeling flexibility, you can impart valuable life skills such as adaptability and problem-solving to your children.

5. Respect Boundaries and Privacy:

Co-parenting requires fundamental respect for each other’s boundaries and privacy. Clear limitations are vital despite spending a significant portion of your lives together. Respecting each other’s private life is also crucial to consider.

Do not attempt to snoop around in your ex-partner’s personal matters or collect unnecessary information about what they are doing after the divorce. Expect the same in return and respect their right to privacy. Center your talks and social dealings on matters that pertain directly to co-parenting and the health of your offspring.

6. Encourage Consistency and Stability:

Children need consistency and stability during and after a divorce or separation for their emotional well-being. Endeavor to create analogous schedules, guidelines, and expectations across both residences whenever feasible. The sense of predictability and security that comes with this consistency is what your children need during their transitions between homes.

Engage in a conversation and reach an understanding on essential elements like ways of dealing with misconducts or misbehaviors night time customs or habits, eating time tables or schedules,and what is expected regarding schoolwork tasks. Your children’s environment can be made more harmonious by maintaining consistency in these areas and minimizing confusion.

7. Foster a Positive Co-Parenting Relationship:

Despite its challenges, building a positive co-parenting relationship can be immensely advantageous for both yourself and your offspring. Building mutual respect, support and effective communication is essential for maintaining an amicable co-parenting relationship.

Come together as one to celebrate the achievements of your children. Attend all-important occasions with unity in mind while continuously encouraging positivity amongst the entire family. Highlight the significance of upholding a wholesome bond with their other parent, despite the occasional challenges.

8. Seek Professional Support if Needed:

Co-parenting may sometimes become overwhelming when navigating through challenges. In the presence of persistent conflicts or ineffective communication, seeking professional support should not be postponed. To promote constructive dialogue between parents for effective co-parenting dynamics, experts such as therapists, counselors or mediators can offer valuable assistance.

A professional aid provides a secure and neutral place for both parents to articulate their worries and scrutinize the root causes. To advance their co-parenting bond, they can create strategies. Providing insights and tools, professionals who help create a healthy, cooperative environment may ultimately improve your children’s welfare.

Remember that seeking professional help does not indicate weakness. The demonstration of initiative is in achieving the best possible co-parenting outcome for everyone involved instead.

9. Take Care of Yourself:

Prioritizing self-care is crucial for divorced or separated parents amidst co-parenting demands. Ensuring personal physical health as well as mental and emotional wellness is essential for managing life’s obstacles successfully.

Involve in activities that bring joy to your life and provide a sense of proportionate balance. Allocate some time to hobbies, exercising, unwinding, or pursuing personal interests. Looking for support from friends, loved ones or support groups that can give empathy, comprehension and guidance is a way to nurture your emotional health.

Conclusion:

Co-parenting is possible as divorced or separated parents in the USA through commitment to understanding each other’s needs alongside implementing effective strategies. With these approaches taken seriously, this journey will likely prove successful for all involved. It’s worth putting in effort and patience for a healthy co-parenting relationship and its benefits. Ensure your children’s wellness is top priority, have open communication, and create a dependable co-parenting plan. Nurture a favorable co-parenting connection, consider seeking expert help if required, and don’t forget to prioritize self-care throughout the journey. A harmonious co-parenting dynamic can be created by implementing these strategies and ensuring the best possible future for your children.

3 July 202314 June 2023

Dealing with difficult ex-spouses as a divorced/separated parent in the USA

Divorce or separation is a life-altering event that can significantly impact not only the couple involved but also their children. One of the most common challenges divorced or separated parents face is dealing with a difficult ex-spouse.

The dynamics of co-parenting can become complicated, emotional, and at times, even hostile. However, it is crucial to prioritize the well-being of the children and find ways to navigate the situation amicably.

In this article, we will explore strategies and practical tips to help divorced or separated parents in the USA handle difficult ex-spouses and foster a healthy co-parenting environment.

How to Deal with Difficult Ex-Spouse in the USA as Separated Parent

1. Understanding Strategies of Effective Co-Parenting

Establishing a Child-Centered Mindset.

Putting the children’s best interests at the forefront is paramount when dealing with a difficult ex-spouse. Remember that your children’s emotional well-being and stability are directly influenced by the relationship between their parents.

By prioritizing their needs, you can set a positive foundation for effective co-parenting.

2. Effective Communication and Boundaries

Establishing Clear and Respectful Communication Channels.

Open and respectful communication is vital when dealing with a difficult ex-spouse. Establishing clear communication channels, such as email or text messaging, can help reduce conflicts and provide a written record of discussions.

Maintain a business-like approach, focusing on co-parenting matters and avoiding personal or inflammatory topics.

Also Read: How the 2houses Communication Journal will Help Improve your Co-parenting.

3. Creating Boundaries and Setting Realistic Expectations

Setting boundaries is crucial to maintain healthy boundaries and minimize potential conflicts. Clearly define roles, responsibilities, and expectations regarding parenting decisions, schedules, and important events.

Be realistic about what can be achieved and be willing to compromise when necessary for the sake of the children’s well-being.

4. Utilizing Mediation or Professional Help

When dealing with an especially difficult ex-spouse, it may be beneficial to seek professional assistance. Mediation services can help facilitate constructive conversations and guide parents toward mutually agreeable solutions.

Family therapists or counselors specializing in co-parenting can also provide valuable guidance and support.

5. Focusing on Self-Care

Dealing with a difficult ex-spouse can be emotionally draining. It is essential to prioritize self-care to maintain your own well-being and be better equipped to handle challenging situations.

Engage in activities that bring you joy, seek support from friends and family, and consider therapy or counseling if needed.

6. Documenting Interactions

Keeping a record of interactions with your difficult ex-spouse can be helpful in case of disputes or disagreements. Maintain a detailed log of conversations, agreements, and incidents related to co-parenting.

This documentation can serve as evidence and provide clarity when addressing any concerns legally, if necessary.

7. Seeking Legal Advice

In some situations, seeking legal advice may be necessary to protect your rights and the best interests of your children. Consult with an experienced family law attorney who can guide you through the legal process and help you understand your options.

They can provide valuable insights based on their expertise and ensure your rights are safeguarded.

Also Read: How to Manage Conflict with your Ex-Partner When Co-Parenting.

The Importance of Cooperation with Your Ex-Spouse as a Divorced Parent in the USA

Cooperation is a fundamental aspect of successful co-parenting after a divorce. While it may seem challenging, maintaining a cooperative relationship with your ex-spouse is essential for the well-being of your children.

Here is why it is crucial to cooperate with your ex-spouse as a divorced parent and the benefits it brings.

1. Promoting Stability and Emotional Well-being

Cooperating with your ex-spouse helps create a stable and consistent environment for your children. By presenting a united front and working together, you establish clear expectations and boundaries, providing a sense of security for your children.

This stability contributes to their emotional well-being, helping them adjust to the changes brought about by the divorce.

2. Putting Children’s Needs First

Cooperation allows divorced parents to prioritize the best interests of their children. When both parents set aside personal differences and focus on what is best for their children, they can make important decisions together.

This collaborative approach ensures that children’s needs regarding education, healthcare, and extracurricular activities are met. By putting their children’s needs first, parents can provide a nurturing and supportive environment that fosters healthy growth and development.

3. Creating Consistency and Routine

Consistency is vital for children’s overall well-being. When divorced parents cooperate, they can establish consistent rules, routines, and schedules between households.

This consistency brings a sense of stability and predictability to children’s lives, reducing anxiety and promoting a smoother transition between homes.

Consistent expectations and routines provide children with a sense of security and help them adjust more effectively to the challenges of divorce.

4. Facilitating Effective Communication

Cooperation with your ex-spouse opens channels for effective communication. It allows you to discuss important matters related to your children, share updates, and address any concerns promptly.

Open and respectful communication ensures that both parents stay informed and involved in their children’s lives, fostering a sense of shared responsibility.

Also Read: Suppporting a Child’s Ability to Cope with the Emotional Impact of Separation and Divorce.

How to Deal with a Toxic Co Parenting Ex

Dealing with a toxic co-parenting ex can be incredibly challenging and emotionally draining. However, it’s important to prioritize the well-being of your children and find ways to navigate the situation effectively.

Here are some strategies to help you deal with a toxic co-parenting ex:

1. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with your ex-spouse to protect yourself and your children from toxic behavior.

Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not in your interactions. Communicate these boundaries calmly and assertively, focusing on the impact it has on your children.

2. Focus on the Children

Keep the best interests of your children at the forefront of your decisions and actions.

Avoid engaging in toxic behavior yourself and shield your children from any negative interactions. Be a positive role model, promoting a healthy and nurturing environment for them.

3. Communicate Through Written Means

If face-to-face or verbal communication with your ex-spouse is challenging, consider utilizing written communication methods.

Email or text messages provide a record of conversations and allow you to respond thoughtfully and calmly. Stick to discussing matters related to the children and avoid getting dragged into personal attacks or arguments.

4. Seek Professional support

If the toxic behavior of your ex-spouse is impacting your well-being or the well-being of your children, don’t hesitate to seek professional support.

A therapist or counselor experienced in co-parenting dynamics can provide guidance, strategies, and coping mechanisms to navigate the challenges.

5. Document Incidents

Keep a record of any toxic behavior or incidents involving your ex-spouse.

This documentation can be useful if legal intervention becomes necessary or for demonstrating a pattern of behavior. Ensure you note the dates, times, and specific details of each incident.

6. Maintain Self-Care

Dealing with a toxic co-parenting ex can be emotionally exhausting, so consider your mental health.

Take time for yourself, engage in social activities whete you can get more happiness, and surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family. Take care of your physical and mental well-being to better cope with the challenges.

Conclusion

Dealing with a difficult ex-spouse as a divorced or separated parent can be challenging, but it is essential to prioritize your children’s well-being and foster a healthy co-parenting environment.

By establishing a child-centered mindset, practicing effective communication, setting boundaries, seeking professional help when needed, and focusing on self-care.

Remember, the goal is to minimize the impact of toxic behavior on yourself and your children. By implementing these strategies and seeking support when needed, you can embark on the co-parenting journey with resilience and provide a healthier environment for your children to thrive in.

3 July 20233 July 2023

Navigating the Storm: Challenges of Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Ex-Partner in the USA

Divorce is never easy, but when your ex-partner is high-conflict, the challenges can multiply. Co-parenting in such a situation can feel like navigating a storm with a leaky boat. Nevertheless, for the sake of your children, it’s essential to manage this tumultuous sea and find a safe shore.

Understanding the High-Conflict Ex-Partner

High-conflict individuals are often characterized by all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, extreme behaviors, and a penchant for blaming others. They tend to turn minor disagreements into major battles and can make co-parenting exceedingly difficult. It’s crucial to recognize these traits early to develop effective strategies for managing interactions and minimizing conflict.

Common Challenges

Co-parenting with a high-conflict ex-partner can present several challenges:

Frequent Disputes: High-conflict individuals often argue over minor issues, turning them into major conflicts. This can make every interaction a potential battleground.

Inconsistent Communication: Clear, consistent communication is vital in co-parenting. However, high-conflict individuals may use communication as a weapon, making it difficult to maintain a focused dialogue on the children’s needs.
Undermining Parental Authority: High-conflict ex-partners may undermine your authority as a parent, attempting to turn your children against you or contradicting your parenting decisions.
Creating Stress for the Children: Perhaps the most significant issue is the stress that high-conflict situations can create for children. They may feel torn between their parents, leading to emotional distress and behavioral issues.

Embracing a Positive Mindset

Despite the challenges, maintaining a positive mindset can be a powerful tool when co-parenting with a high-conflict ex-partner. Remember, you can’t control your ex-partner’s behavior, but you can control your reactions to it. By focusing on what you can control, you’ll be more equipped to manage the situation effectively and minimize its impact on your children.

The Impact on Children

It’s crucial to understand the potential effects of high-conflict co-parenting on children. These may include:

Emotional Distress: Children might feel anxious, fearful, or depressed due to the ongoing conflict.
Behavioral Issues: Increased aggression, withdrawal, or academic struggles may occur as a result of the stress.
Relationship Problems: Children may have difficulties forming healthy relationships in the future due to their experiences.

It’s essential to keep an eye out for these signs and seek professional help if needed. Remember, the ultimate goal of co-parenting is to ensure the well-being of your children.

The Role of Legal Systems

Navigating the legal landscape when dealing with a high-conflict ex-partner can be daunting. However, understanding your rights and obligations can go a long way in managing the situation:

Custody Orders: Ensure you fully understand the terms of your custody order and abide by them. Any breaches can be legally addressed.
Legal Support: Consider seeking legal advice to understand your options and protect your rights.
Court Mediation: In high-conflict situations, court-ordered mediation may be beneficial to help resolve disputes.

The Power of Patience

Dealing with a high-conflict ex-partner requires a great deal of patience:

Expect Resistance: High-conflict individuals may resist cooperation. It’s important to be prepared for this and not let it deter you from your co-parenting goals.
Take One Step at a Time: Progress may be slow, but even small improvements in communication and cooperation can make a significant difference.
Remember the End Goal: Keeping the well-being of your children in mind can provide the motivation needed to keep striving for a peaceful co-parenting relationship.

Building a Support Network

Having a robust support network is invaluable when dealing with a high-conflict ex-partner:

Friends and Family: Loved ones can provide emotional support and practical help, such as babysitting or transportation for the children.
Professional Help: Therapists and counselors can provide strategies to manage stress and navigate conflicts.
Support Groups: Connecting with others who are facing similar challenges can provide a sense of community and shared understanding. It can also be a source of practical advice.

Co-parenting with a high-conflict ex-partner can feel like an uphill battle, but remember, you’re not alone. Utilize your support network, stay focused on your children’s needs, and take care of your well-being. With persistence and patience, you can navigate the challenges and create a peaceful co-parenting relationship.

The Importance of Communication

Effective communication is essential when co-parenting, especially with a high-conflict ex-partner. Here are a few tips:

Keep Communication Child-Focused: Always keep the focus on your children and their needs. Avoid getting sidetracked into personal disputes.
Use Neutral Language: Avoid blaming or accusatory language. Try to keep your communication factual and neutral.
Document Everything: Keep a record of all communication with your ex-partner. This can be helpful in case of disputes or legal proceedings.
Utilize Technology: Using a co-parenting app like 2houses can help streamline communication and keep everything in one place, reducing the potential for conflict and misunderstanding.

The Role of Co-Parenting Apps

Co-parenting apps can be a valuable tool for managing communication and schedules with a high-conflict ex-partner:

Managing Schedules: Co-parenting apps like 2houses can help manage your children’s schedules and events, reducing potential conflicts and misunderstandings.
Streamlining Communication: These apps provide a platform for all communication, keeping everything documented and in one place, which can be particularly useful with high-conflict individuals.
Sharing Information: Co-parenting apps can be used to share important information about your children, such as school reports, medical information, and updates on their activities and progress.

Remember, it’s not the challenges that define us, but how we navigate them. Co-parenting with a high-conflict ex-partner can be a tumultuous journey, but with the right tools, strategies, and mindset, you can steer the ship towards calm waters and ensure a positive upbringing for your children.

Conclusion

Co-parenting with a high-conflict ex-partner can undoubtedly be challenging. However, by understanding the nature of high-conflict individuals, employing effective strategies, avoiding common mistakes, and making use of available support systems, you can navigate this complex landscape. Remember, the ultimate goal is to foster a nurturing environment for your children, and with patience, resilience, and determination, you can rise to the challenge.

Don’t forget, you’re not alone in this journey. Stay strong, stay positive, and remember, the calm after the storm is well worth the effort.

30 June 20237 June 2023

Navigating Child Custody Arrangements in Canada

Separation and divorce is not easy and it leads to a lot of uncertainty…for parents…for children and for anyone who has a relationship with the family, such as in-laws. Everyone is unsure what will happen to the family after the split and no one is certain what the child arrangement will look like. In fact, many people aren’t even sure what type of child arrangements there are in Canada, which we will cover in this article to help you navigate the system of family law.

What is Child Custody?

In Canada, child custody is an umbrella term that describes who cares for the children after a divorce. In the Canadian family law, typically parents have the legal right to determine the care and well-being of their child; however, this can become muddied when parents get divorced and are suddenly at odds on who gets to care of the children and who is responsible in making these decisions.

In most divorces, parents tend to split the child custody arrangement; however, there are times when this child custody arrangement does not work and cannot be set without the involvement of the courts. At that time, the Canadian courts will step in and make the decision on what the best child custody arrangement would be for that child.

What Types of Child Custody Arrangements are there in Canada?

It should be noted that when we look at navigating child custody within Canada, we need to understand that there are four different types of child custody arrangements within Canada. These are:

Full Custody

Also known as sole custody, this type of child custody arrangement is where only one parent has custody of the child. This means that the parent has sole control over their child and where he or she lives. In addition, when a parent is awarded full custody, which means that they have the right to decide on visitation of the other parent.

Full custody is quite rare in divorces, unless there are reasons where joint custody would not be in the interest of the children in the marriage. One thing that should be mentioned is that when a parent has full custody, he or she is not 100% financially responsible for the child. Like all child custody arrangements in Canada, the other parent, whether they get visitation or not, is responsible for their portion of child support to ensure that the child maintains the same quality of life as before the marriage ended.

Joint Custody

One of the more common types of child custody arrangements, joint custody is where the parents share a 50/50 custody arrangement. This means that both parents have equal responsibility for the child or children. They have to share the planning and decision making on schedules, where the kids go to school, what religion they are raised with, where they live. In the event that one parent needs to move out of the city or country, the other parent in the joint arrangement gets to be part of the decision of whether the children move with them.

With joint child custody arrangement, parents will choose how to do their visitation schedule so that they both get equal time. A great way to manage child custody arrangements is to use a mediation app to schedule out your weekly visitation days.

Finally, with joint custody, parents split expenses for the kids 50/50 with child support payments often reflecting that arrangement.

Shared Custody

While similar to joint custody, shared custody is when both parents are responsible for both caring for and housing their children. With shared custody, the kids spend equal amounts of time with either period.

In addition, shared custody means that both parents share equal responsibility in making decisions for the child. It should be noted that, generally, joint custody is preferred over shared custody.

And again, with child support, it is based on income, the province you live in and quality of life prior to the divorce.

Split Custody

This occurs when the couple have more than one child, with two children being the most common family dynamic for split custody. With split custody, one child lives with one parent and the other child lives with the other parent. There can still be arrangements for visitation where the kids either spend time together or in a one on one situation, swapping homes during the visitation.

In addition, when looking at split custody, the home of residence can shift depending on arrangements. This means that the child can live with either parent on a permanent basis, only visiting with the other parent on set visitation days, or the residence can rotate with half at one parent’s house and half at the other parent’s house similar to a 50/50 joint custody.

Generally, split custody is not one that is often viewed as an option since it is not always believed to be in the best interest of the children to have siblings split and living in separate homes; however, if a court decides that this is in the best interest of the children, it is an option the courts will sign off on.

Split custody child support payments can still occur but it is based on your province and the income of both parents. The goal is to create equal living conditions for both kids so if one parent makes significantly more than the other, child support payments will be made to bring the other child’s level of living conditions up to the other child. It should be noted that split custody does not mean no child support payments.

And those are the four child custody arrangements in Canada. Now let’s look at a few legalities you should be aware of.

What are Some Child Custody Laws I Should Know?

When it comes to the laws of child custody arrangements in Canada, parents should be aware of a few facts before they start making arrangements. These are:

You are both responsible for your child’s well-being and safety. This means that you both have a say and you both have a responsibility in it. This means that you much provide your child with food, shelter and clothing. In addition, your child needs a safe home.
The child’s best interest is first for the court. When you go into court, the best interest of your child is going to be the most important thing for the court. In Canada, they may make decisions that go against the wishes of the parents because the court feels it’s in the best interests of your child.
Canadian courts has parens patriae jurisdiction. This goes back to the child’s best interest but it means that the Canadian government has power and authority to protect the children who cannot act in their own best wishes. What this means is that the Canadian courts will take any necessary steps to protect your child as they feel they need to be protected.
Support payments reflect the custody arrangement. The main focus of child support is for the children to live in similar means to what they lived before divorce. How much you pay for support depends on a number of factors including custody arrangement, income level and lifestyle your child had pre-divorce.

As you can see, there are a number of things that you should be aware of to properly navigate. Basically, if you approach your child custody arrangement with the best interests of the child in mind, you will see the best outcome from the courts.

Navigating the Canadian courts when it comes to child custody arrangements doesn’t have to be difficult but we definitely recommend that you have good representation if you have to move into the court system.

28 June 20231 June 2023

Helping Your Child Adjust to Living in Two Households after Divorce/Separation

Divorce or separation can be difficult for both parents and children. It is incredibly challenging for children who must adjust to living in two different households. As a parent, you must provide your child with the support they need during this transition.

A divorce or separation can help your child adjust to living in two households by using joint custody and parenting time. By creating a shared parenting plan that outlines each parent’s responsibilities, you can ensure that your child gets quality time with both of their parents. Other co-parenting tips can help you create a positive environment for your child while they adjust to living in dual households.

How to Help Your Child Adjust to Life in Two Separate Homes

Your child may find it challenging to live in two homes. However, with the correct support systems and coping mechanisms, they may manage the change and live happily in both homes. Having duplicate items in both houses, allowing your children to have their own space, maintaining a routine in each home, and having a predictable schedule for meals, homework, playtime, and bedtime are other ways to help them cope happily in two homes.

These methods and safety nets help establish routine and predictability in each home. Be optimistic and considerate of your co-parents’ time with your children. Make the transitions as seamless and straightforward as possible.

Please do not ask your children to spy on their other parents or serve as a liaison between their two houses. Find a reliable channel for communication between you and your co-parent. Supporting your children living together in other people’s homes is crucial.

Creating Positive Routines for Both Households

Routines for Divorced Families

Consistent routines are highly crucial for divorce children in divided homes. Consistency fosters security, decreases worry, and fosters positive habits and limits. Practices provide stability by allowing youngsters to acquire mastery and enjoy doing their tasks autonomously. Routines alleviate stress by delaying brain and physical growth. Routines also teach positive habits and establish limits.

Parents must put aside differences when it comes to maintaining a uniform pattern across families for their children’s health. Morning routines, after-school routines, and sleep rituals are all equally vital. Sleep routines are critical for your child’s general health and well-being.

Co-Parenting Strategies

It allows kids to fall asleep sooner, return to sleep more readily, and enhances their parents’ emotions. It is critical to consider the pattern of bathing, brushing teeth, and putting on pajamas while establishing a consistent evening routine across two houses.

It is also essential to explain to the children the penalties and incentives for following the rules. Home is the most conducive environment for developing long-term behaviors and embracing the ideas of consequences, limits, and rewards. Make every effort to maintain ritual and regularity wherever possible so your children feel safe and comfortable even in times of change.

Family Therapy Ideas

Mental health is as essential as physical health, and spending time with yourself may help you balance your life. Mental Health America provides tools that allow anyone to live a better life. Plan once a week to jot down five things you would like to include in your self-care routine that week, find something you enjoy and incorporate one or more of these into your life, and reward yourself if you stick to your self-care routine.

How to Talk About Divorce & Co-parenting with Your Kids

Parents should discuss divorce with their children. Parents of young children should stick to routines, be consistent with rules and expectations, and lavish their children with additional attention. Teens should have open, calm dialogues with their parents, encourage emotional responses, and set high standards for their conduct. For all children, their parents’ message should be straightforward and uncomplicated, avoiding confusing details that can lead youngsters to feel they need to fix the issue or are the reason for the divorce. Children may have conflicting emotions in response to the news, so listening to and observing their responses is vital.

It may not startle older children, but it is worthwhile to provide youngsters with several opportunities to ask questions and voice their concerns. Ensure your children understand they are secure by encouraging them to be open about their feelings and validate whatever they are experiencing. The most significant facts in this work are the measures to help youngsters deal with divorce. These measures include being straightforward and honest and ensuring they are secure and cherished. Be upfront about what will change in their daily lives and prepare them beforehand.

Reduce disturbances to their regular routines and help them deal with their emotions. Keep their needs in mind and be as engaged in their lives as possible. Make sure your children understand that it is not their fault. They should also know that the issue is between their parents and that it is not their responsibility to resolve it.

How to Get Support for Yourself as a Parent during a Divorce

Separated parents must collaborate to help their children overcome life’s challenges. Numerous organizations provide online forums where you may meet other people going through a divorce or separation. These people are local to you.

See 2houses for more information about single-parent organizations that provide support and can help you create your own if no groups exist in your area. They may also assist via a variety of channels. Please go here to learn more about the benefits and assistance you may need.

When a parenting plan has been created, and you work out the details with the other parent, your child can adjust to living in two households. It is a necessity that both parents are willing to work together to raise their children in a positive environment, even after divorce or separation. Open communication, honesty, and patience with your child will make it easier for them when they adjust to living in two households. As a parent, you can use these co-parenting tips during this ordeal.

Overall, creating a positive environment for your child during this transition is vital. It will improve your relationship with your child and strengthen your relationship with their other parents. By working together to create a shared parenting plan, you can resolve disputes more efficiently and give your children the support they need to adjust to living in two households after divorce or separation.

26 June 20231 June 2023

The Importance of Maintaining Communication with Your Co-Parent in the UK

When it comes to co-parenting, one of the most important parts of it is in the communication. After all, how can you effectively parent if you are not effectively communicating with your co-parent? The answer is that you can’t. To be successful in parenting you need to maintain the communication in your co-parenting relationship. In this article, we will explore why it is so important to have excellent communication.

The Benefits to the Kids

When we look at the importance of maintaining communication with your co-parent in the UK, we have to start from how it affects the kids. In the UK, family law always sides with what is in the best interest of the individual child and we know that excellent communication between parents will always be in the best interest of the kids.

Even without the law in mind, co-parents who effectively communicate can offer their kids a wide range of benefits that will have significant impact on their long term success and mental and emotional well-being.

Models good behaviour to your children. First and foremost, managing effective communication with your other co-parent models to you kids how to communicate themselves. It also shows that even adults who are at odds at times can still communicate. This enables kids to learn how to be effective communicators themselves—skills that will help them throughout their lives.
Helps establish predictability. Co-parents who communicate will often parent in similar ways. This means that kids have the same rules, routines, and schedules regardless of which home they are in when both of their parents are communicating and discussing setting these things. This stability between homes will reduce a lot of stress and anxiety that kids can have during separation and divorce.
Can increase emotional well-being. Kids whose parents are communicating and not arguing have better feelings of well-being and self-worth. This is because there is less stress, they don’t feel like they are in the middle and they have parents who are consistent with them. This can help kids adjust much easier to divorce and will have long term benefits throughout their life.

As you can see, there are many different benefits for kids and it really does emphasize how important maintaining communication is.

The Benefits to You

The benefits for you, and your other co-parent, are equally important when it comes to maintaining effective communication. While you may not realize it, once you have that communication being established and maintained, you will suddenly find the benefits are affecting your life in positive ways. Some of the ways that maintaining communication with your other co-parent is beneficial for you are:

Reduces stress. Like kids, when communication is always negative and combative, you will find yourself living with higher levels of stress. And this stress will have long term health effects on you if you allow it to continue. Maintaining healthy communication will help reduce stress because you won’t be arguing as much, if at all.
Let’s you focus on the kids. When you communicate effectively, you can really focus on the kids when you are with them. You won’t have to worry about handoffs and possibly arguing with your co-parent. You also will have all the information you need to make sure the kids have everything they need during the visit. These are invaluable in just allowing you to enjoy those moments with your kids, especially when there are no arguments at pick up because of poor communication.
Allows issues to be handled quickly and effectively. When you have excellent communication with your co-parent, you can deal with issues and emergencies quickly and effectively. You can meet to discuss issues or you can easily contact the other co-parent to ensure that emergencies are handled in the best ways for the kids. Essentially, communication creates a new partnership between co-parents when it comes to the kids and allows everyone to thrive in a crisis.

And those are a few of the benefits that you will experience…along with a new relationship dynamic where you and your ex-partner may even be able to parent as friends.

Quick Tips to Maintain that Communication

Finally, let’s look at a few quick tips you can do to maintain that communication with your co-parent. These are quick and easy to do and really is just about setting healthy boundaries for both of you.

Focus on the practicalities: Things the kids need, what they have coming up and the expenses that they have. During periods when you are having a hard time communicating, focusing on those practical bits of information will help maintain your relationship.
Add in positives: On the same line of practicalities, it is good to add some positive things to your conversations. Kids did well on an exam, share it. Saved money on an expense, let the other parent know. Positives help with a connection as co-parents and also makes the interactions about more than just things to worry about.
Keep conversations separate from other topics: Divorce proceedings, things happening that are not related to the kids but can lead to a conflict cycle, frustrations about the other parent—those topics should be left to other ways of communicating. Instead, focus on kid oriented topics.
Use a mediation app: A mediation app that allows you to communicate over it is a great way to keep communication open and to manage that communication when you are having a hard time communicating in person.
Have regular meetings: This should be done every month or more but have regular meetings about holidays, what’s happening with the kids, special events and to review how the custody schedule is working. Reviewing all of these opens up natural conversations that will help your co-parenting relationship grow.

As you can see, there are many benefits for both you and your kids when you maintain healthy communication with your co-parent. And, it doesn’t have to be that difficult to maintain it. Simply follow the tips in this article and then enjoy the benefits of this very important part of co-parenting.

24 June 20231 June 2023

Tips for Maintaining a Positive Relationship with Your Child’s Other Parent After Separation or Divorce

Separation and divorce brings a lot of emotions that can be damaging to the relationship you have with your other child’s parent; however, it is important to maintain a positive relationship for your child. Learn strategies to develop and maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-partner as you move into co-parenting.

We all want the best for our kids but that isn’t always possible during a separation or divorce because we are all human. We have emotions. Separation and divorce can come with a wide range of emotions, including grief and hurt and sometimes those emotions can get in the way of having a positive relationship with your child’s other parent. However, putting aside your own feelings will help you maintain a positive relationship with your ex-partner, which will allow you to put your children first and ease your own stress and heartache.

What is Co-Parenting?

Before we look at tips on how to maintain a positive relationship with your child’s other parent after separation or divorce, it is good to understand what co-parenting is. In a nutshell, co-parenting is when both parents play an active role in the daily lives of their children. Shared schedules, custody arrangements, shared responsibility on decisions and more are all part of co-parenting that allows parents to ensure that all of their kids’ needs are met. It also ensures that both parents can maintain a close relationship with their kids.

Co-parenting, when done in healthy ways, ensures that kids adapt better to divorce and that their emotional and mental well-being is good.

In essence, co-parenting is creating a new partnership that focuses on the kids lives.

It should be noted that when we look at co-parenting, we are talking about divorces that do not involve domestic abuse and violence. There are certain circumstances where a positive relationship is not possible for safety.

Tips for Maintaining a Health Relationship

Now that we know what co-parenting is, let’s look at ways that you can maintain a healthy relationship with your child’s other parent.

Number One: Set Aside your own Hurt

We’ve already hinted at this but no matter who initiated the divorce, there will still be feelings of hurt and anger. Remember that this is a grieving process, and you will need to grieve. However, to maintain a healthy positive relationship, you need to set aside your own hurt when you are dealing with your ex-partner.

This means that you may have to find ways to communicate with your ex-partner when you are feeling extra hurt, such as through a communication journal. Another point is to use someone other than your child to vent about your feelings. Venting to your children raises their stress and makes them feel that they have to take sides. If you have a friend or therapist, use them to vent.

When you see your ex-partner, or interact, remember that you both have one thing in common—wanting the best for your kids—so make that a common ground to help motivate your actions to establish that positive relationship with your ex-partner.

Number Two: Focus on the Kids

This is pretty simple to explain…again, we are going to that common ground. If both you and your ex-partner agree to keep your interactions on the kids, you are less likely to focus on negative aspects of your past relationship.

Whenever you find your conversations getting off course, steer back to the kids by bringing up something positive that the kids did or said, or an accomplishment that they had. This will help ease the tension between you and you can spend a few minutes just enjoying that positive moment together before getting back to the task at hand, such as setting up the custody schedule.

Number Three: Make Communication Peaceful and Purposeful

You don’t have to have long conversations with your ex-partner, and chances are, you won’t want to have those conversation. Instead, plan out every conversation and only communicate when you need to.

Before you do, look at your mindset. If you are angry or feeling anything negative, even if it isn’t about your ex-partner, reschedule a meeting with them. You want to take the time before your meeting to refocus on your kids. Ask yourself some questions like:

Why are we meeting?
What outcome am I hoping for?
What am I willing to compromise on?

The main takeaway with conversations is to keep your child the main focal point of all your communication. By doing this, you are avoiding conflict and that can help build a positive relationship where your kids are concerned.

Number Four: Co-parent as a Team

Another important tip for keeping a positive relationship with your ex-partner is to remember that you are a team, even if you are not in the same house. This means that you should listen to them and what they’d like for the kids in regard to schedules and routines. If you want some changes to those schedules and routines, talk to the other parent and find a middle ground for both of you. By having a relationship that is built on teamwork, you will be able to keep consistency in your children’s lives and you will naturally build a positive relationship.

Remember, consistency along with following up and checking in with each other is essential to building a successful team and this will only help your relationship as co-parents.

Number Five: Approach Things with Respect

Finally, make sure that you approach dealings with your ex-partner with respect. That means that you listen to what your ex-partner says and also that you aren’t actively ignoring their wishes. This doesn’t mean that you give into everything but when you do have disagreements, you approach it in a respectful manner and avoid any negative behaviours that might have occurred in the past.

With respect, it means being polite and peaceful. Discussing your points in a calm manner, listening to their points and then working together for a compromise that both of you can agree on.

When you work toward a positive relationship, you will find that the further along you get in your co-parenting relationship, the easier it is to have a positive relationship. And you will also find that your kids will flourish when they have two parents who, while not together, still maintain a positive relationship.