How to Rebuild Your Style after Divorce

How to Rebuild Your Style after Divorce

Going through a divorce can cause a lot of stress and make you rethink your entire life. Now that you’re starting your life over, you’ll want to reinvent yourself entirely, ad what better way to start than from your style. Looking back to your wardrobe and all the outfits you either regretted wearing or never had the chance to show off are now in the past. From now on, you’ll become a whole new person aiming to look like a true fashionista, and this is where you need to start.

Wardrobe intervention

Clothes are precious to many of us, but they need to go through a thorough filtering process once you decide to rebuild your persona style. Open your wardrobe, take everything out and start the estimate. Remember that iconic scene from Sex and the City movie, when they’re deciding on all the outfits Carrie should take or leave? That’s what you need too. Put a vote on every piece of clothing and be ruthless. Bring reinforcement and allow your friends to be non-biased. Only keep the pieces that will allow you to create new, improved looks for yourself.

Online research

Once you’ve left with a few items of quality clothes and footwear, it’s time to start looking for inspiration. Do you even know what you’re looking for in your new edition? Start by browsing through fashion magazines and Pinterest. Create a vision board of all the looks that you like. On top of that, don’t forget to search for outfits that compliment your figure. Otherwise, your shopping trip will be too frustrating.

Shop ‘till you drop

Speaking of shopping, get your credit card ready for swiping. Now that you know what you’re looking for, it’s time to put on your comfortable shoes and start raiding the stores. Invest in new and trendy day dresses that will show everyone how strong and confident you are. With a day dress, you’ll radiate sass and class at the same time while feeling fierce too. With a pair of well-tailored jeans and a fitted blazer, you’ll be on you’re a-game every day, no matter the occasion. Accessorize smart and don’t miss out on the opportunity to look your best at work, at home, when shopping or when you’re out enjoying a relaxing weekend afternoon.

Don’t be a slave to trends

Yes, online magazines and Pinterest are endless sources of fashion trends, but no, you shouldn’t succumb to trends by any means. Just because something is trending, doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for everyone (or anyone for that matter). Use the latest fashion trends as an inspiration for what you’ll fashion for yourself. Let the trends guide you and offer a building ground on which you can further upgrade your style.

Wear clothes that fit like a glove

One of the reasons you shouldn’t follow fashion trends at any cost is because some clothes won’t fit you like they fit the models. So, when you start reinventing your style, only invest in clothing items that look like they’ve been made for you. Always try the clothes before you buy them That way, you’ll be sure you’ve got the right size, cut, and colour. No matter how much you like nude tops, if you have fair skin, many nude shades can make you look washed up. Furthermore, not all clothes will fit every body type, so shop according to your figure to always look like a supermodel.

Look for quality instead of quantity

If you have a fixed budget, shop for quality staple pieces. Regardless of what your wardrobe looks like after the intervention, invest in trademark pieces that you can easily mix and match. Quality shirts, leather jackets, pencil skirts and blazers that will last for more than one season are always the best choice. A little black dress and a few more day dresses to make you look like you’re ready for a date will be the best investment that will pay off in the long run. Don’t shop for items on sale just because they’re more affordable now. Think if you’ll ever wear them, and only invest in them if they’re worth it.

Rebuilding your style may seem like a challenge, but it’s actually easier than it appears. All you need to do is declutter the old items and invest in new clothes that will make you look better than ever before. Learn what pieces are worth buying and start your new life with your head up high in those lovely heels.

How to Let Go of Bitterness After Divorce

How to Let Go of Bitterness After Divorce

When going through a divorce, you’re facing a challenging, confusing, time in your life. While you’re working to take care of your family, you must also remember to take care of yourself. With so much uncertainty, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and to let the emotions obscure your perspective on the situation. But, it’s time to start taking back your control and putting yourself first. Give yourself permission to take the time to heal and grow past this challenging event in your life. If you don’t allow yourself the space to do just that, you’ll only hold yourself down to feelings of bitterness and frustration. Here are some tips to help you on your path forward to find optimism and acceptance from a difficult place. 

Grieve the Old

Divorce is a loss and there is a lot of emotion that comes with navigating that loss. This involves grieving and the many ways in which that is felt differs from person to person. It may feel like you have to hold everything together and keep on track, yet, that’s just not feasible. You have to open yourself up to process the emotions that you’re experiencing. Whatever you may be feeling is valid. Try not to fight it or repress it, even if that may feel like a short-term solution; in the long run, it’s only going to cause more harm. 

With that said, feeling your emotions is just the first step because you don’t want them to overrun you. The next step is to talk it out. Talking through your thoughts, along with your mental and emotional state in general, is a way to grow and move forward. Whether it’s a family member, friend, or licensed professional, having someone to help you make sense of what you’re going through and acknowledge it without harboring it will help you to form healthy coping mechanisms.

Accept the Present

The process of grieving is intense and is not linear in any way. It’s not a simple process to come to acceptance, but having that as an underlying goal can guide each day in a positive manner. It’s easy to look back on the situation with a mentality of what you should’ve, could’ve, or would’ve done differently. However, this is not productive or fair to you. At the end of the day, you can only focus on the present and move forward into the future. 

Finding ways to come to terms with your current situation can include recognizing any judgments you have towards yourself and others, identifying the things that you are grateful for presently, and taking note of actions you can take for the future. Getting into the habit of journaling is a great way to work through these ideas, especially ones that draw you back to the past. Anytime you feel a judgment or resentment from the past, write it down to get it out of your head and leave it behind so you are not occupied with these thoughts and you can turn your focus to the future. 

Turn Your Focus Inward

The one constant thing you can take control of in life is yourself and your reactions. In a time when it feels like you’ve lost all control and sense of order, you can look to yourself for a grounding presence. You can explore more about who you are, your feelings, opinions, likes, and dislikes. You can get to know yourself all over again, being able to learn with fewer outside influences. Ultimately, this is a time to define who you are outside of marriage.

This exercise should feel grounding and healing, rather than hyper-critical and defeating. Self-reflection is meant to bolster positive growth and a strong understanding of who you are. Self-awareness and introspection can actually be a very tricky thing if you’re not careful. When you’re taking part in these activities, be cognizant of the ways in which you are talking to yourself, and make sure that you are offering compassion, patience, support, and understanding, the same way you would if it was a loved one.

Look forward to What’s New and Changing

Newness can be scary. Going through a divorce brings about a lot of change, but this doesn’t have to be as concerning as you might think. By reframing your take on this time in your life, you can turn this into something more positive and exciting, with the idea that you can make anything you want out of your new situation. Change is inevitable and constant, but don’t forget you are adaptable and resilient.

Start with making a list of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Then, start checking things off that list! Find ways to spark your joy, creativity, and passion. Look at this as a time to reorganize and redesign whatever you want. One thing you can do is find ways to embrace healthy choices throughout your daily routine, not just for you, but your family too. Something to try would be a new workout class, not only does this benefit your health, but it’s a great way to meet new people. Maybe play around with a new style to find ways to build your confidence and security in this more ambiguous phase in your life. Try to remember the possibilities for you are endless in the best way.

Channel Your Positive Energy

This is not a situation that is going to consistently feel exciting. There are going to be lots of ups and downs, but the best way to move forward is by harnessing the ups and focusing your energy on growth and healing. Luckily, there are so many different ways to channel your energy. Now’s the time to take on a project you’ve been meaning to do or learn something entirely new. Whether it’s a new hobby or just an opportunity to revamp something in your life, find an outlet that brings the passion inside of you to the forefront.

Leaning into your social circle or finding a new community entirely can open you up to new experiences. Whether it’s through close friends or meeting new people through shared interests you are doing new things. Take a step back and think about the things that interest you and have always wanted to try, this is a great starting point to find a community that is similar to you. If you’re an avid reader, you might love to join a book club. Whether it’s local to your area, or you take advantage of online resources, there are numerous ways you can get involved and put yourself out there. Use this time of newfound independence to share the passions that were once kept to yourself with others to find more joy in every day.

Create Peace Within Your Space

The space which surrounds you daily can have a huge impact on your mood and emotions. Your home, especially what was once a shared home, can pack in a lot of memories of loved ones and the past. Sitting in the past as it once was is only going to hold you back. Rather than tiptoe around the shell of the old, it’s time to start bringing in new life. There is so much that can be done to refresh your space that will also allow you to refresh your mindset.

Investing in your space is investing in yourself. Now’s the time to take on the home projects you’ve been waiting to get to and build out the design that truly speaks to you. These projects can be of any size large or small. Whether it’s as simple as repainting a room or a little more involved by breaking out the power tools, this is a moment of empowerment for you to experiment with different styles and decor that inspire you. If you’re still trying to find your personal design style after so much time living in a shared space, lean into transitional pieces while you figure it out. One great project to start with is installing a shiplap accent wall. Shiplap is a popular design element because of how subtle yet versatile it is- it fits into every style of decor without overwhelming your space. As you transition, adapt, and thrive, with the many changes in your life your home will be a reflection of your growth. If you think your style is trending toward farmhouse but in a year or so, you find it’s actually more modern, the shiplap accent will still fit perfectly as you swap out decor. Pair this accent with furniture pieces and other design elements you’ve always wanted and transform your home into a space that reflects not only your personality but brings you peace in this challenging time; a space that should continue to grow with you for the years ahead.

Find What You Want and Go After It

You can’t change the past, but you can look to the future. Maybe this is an unexpected time in your life, but that’s what makes it all the more unique. Now is your time to do whatever feels right for you. Yes, you’re still grieving a relationship that once was, and that will continue to be a part of your journey, but it is certainly not where the story ends. Rather than hold on to any resentment or negativity, continue to move through it as you heal, grow, and learn more about yourself than ever before. Ground yourself in your strength and resilience, and work towards creating a brand new life to fall in love with.

How to Create a Home That Inspires Healthy Habits

Healthy home

In the last two years, we have all been spending more time indoors than usual. Many people are not used to this kind of lifestyle and find themselves lazy, apathetic, and resorting to unhealthy behavior. However, there is no need to live unhealthily just because you’re stuck inside. You can still get the necessary physical activity, plenty of fresh air and sunlight, and healthy meals. There are various ways you can create a home that inspires healthy habits, so if you’re trying to embrace a healthier lifestyle after divorce, here are some tips to get you on your way.

Get rid of clutter

For starters, it’s not a secret that most of us have too much stuff. Walking into a room that is full of knick knacks that don’t have a designated place, dirty clothes that need to be washed or clean ones that need to be put away, various documents scattered around the place, a pile of dishes that have nowhere to go, and so on can be very stressful and have a huge impact on your mental health. Consider the idea of thoroughly decluttering your space. Go through each of the rooms and see whether you really need everything in there. Set some rules for yourself. For instance, everything that you haven’t used in the last year needs to go. Moreover, if, during this purge, you encounter items that you would not have bought again if you got the chance, toss or donate them. This approach goes for everything from appliances and kitchen tools to clothes and books. Moreover, if you went through a divorce recently and are learning how to live on your own again, it’s vital that you get rid of all the things that belong to your ex. Either return them or give them away. There is no need to have reminders of a negative time in your life lying around the home.

Introduce plenty of natural light

Once your home is free of the clutter that might have been making you anxious to a certain degree, it’s time to shower your home in natural light. This is important as it can improve your circadian rhythm and sleep pattern as well as help you focus and make you happier. With that in mind, if you’re considering a bigger renovation, look into getting bigger windows for most rooms so that the light has no problem coming in. However, a big remodeling is not always a possibility, whether due to financial constraints or as it simply wouldn’t make sense because of where you live. In that case, you want to ensure the windows are not blocked by furniture. Furthermore, get rid of heavy drapes and opt for some light, sheer curtains, or none at all. That way, the light will not be obstructed when coming into your home. That being said, you can still opt for blackout blinds that will ensure no lights from the outside are interrupting your sleep during the night.

Make sure to let the fresh air in

Something that you should keep in mind when it comes to natural light, however, is the fact that you cannot get vitamin D through the rays that penetrate the windows. That means that you should open your windows on a regular basis and bask in some direct sunlight to experience all the benefits of this vitamin, such as lower depression levels. By opening the windows, you are also letting in fresh air into your home, which is another pillar of good health. Regardless of whether you use an air purifier and have proper ventilation, this is something you should do, simply to get rid of various odors, moisture, and contaminants in your home.

Use natural materials

No matter if you’re going for a bigger change or not, using natural materials is of the essence as they allow us to create a bond with nature that we might be missing during these difficult times. These can be implemented in all rooms in one form or another. For instance, you can change the flooring in your home. If you currently have wall-to-wall carpeting in your bedroom, you can consider replacing it with hardwood floors or some similar eco-friendly alternative like bamboo and cork. Then, when it comes to smaller updates, you can introduce some wooden chairs, a wooden bath tray, bamboo toothbrushes, and organic cotton towels.

Opt for the right color palette

Another important aspect of our homes that can easily get overlooked even though it can have a huge effect on our psyche is the color palette that we use. Seeing as how being in nature can help us feel good and boost our mood, it’s a good idea to surround yourself with a nature-inspired color scheme. While the shades you can use abound, you can opt for pastel blues, greens, and yellows. Blues, for instance, are great if you’re looking for some peace and serenity. Green is typically used to enhance focus while yellow can improve your creativity. If you’ve already had some of these colors and are looking to revamp your home after divorce, you can simply opt for white as it can make your space look airy, bright, and larger than it actually is. In addition to painting the walls, which is a cheap and quick transformation, you can also add some accents in the form of art, throw pillows, and rugs.

Bring in plenty of greenery

Besides a nature-inspired color scheme, you can also introduce some actual nature into your home. No matter the conditions you can provide them with, there are certainly a few houseplants that you can add to your living quarters. For example, the jade plant, aloe vera, yucca, money tree, and fiddle-leaf fig all thrive in direct sunlight. On the other hand, if you’re not showered in natural light for the majority of the day, you can turn to spider plants, Swiss cheese plants, Boston ferns, areca palms, cast iron plants, and philodendrons. In case you think houseplants require too much care and you don’t have a green thumb, you can also opt for a bunch of flowers that will keep your home fresh at all times. Look into regularly getting delivered flower bouquets, as that will brighten your living space in no time. Something else you can consider is growing herbs indoors. Everything from mint and basil to oregano and cilantro can succeed in your home.

Layer the lights

When spending plenty of time indoors, it’s also important that you tackle your lighting situation. It’s not uncommon to see rooms with just one source of light. However, this approach can lead to eye strain and headaches, especially if you’re working from home or like to read. With that in mind, you should layer your lights. In addition to the overhead fixture that you probably have in every room, you want to add some other sources. For instance, in the bedroom, a table lamp or a sconce on each side of the bed will make it much more pleasant. On the other hand, the bathroom needs some task lights around the mirror aside from the pendant, chandelier, or recessed light you might already have. The kitchen is another area where you should add a task light as it can prevent accidents while preparing food. Moreover, don’t overlook your living room as floor lamps and table lamps as well as some accent lights can create a cozy atmosphere that’s just right for watching movies and relaxing. Lastly, if you work from home, you need your office area well-illuminated in order to be able to focus on your assignments.

Organize your kitchen to promote healthy eating

A big part of a healthy lifestyle is eating healthily. To encourage this habit, you want to organize your kitchen in the right way. For starters, you want to organize your fridge in such a manner that healthy snacks are highly visible and within reach. You always want to go for fruits and veggies first instead of unhealthy alternatives full of sugar and fat. Use clear containers to have a good overview. Then, you can also have healthy snacks on display on the dining room table or kitchen island. Put out a bowl filled with fruits, granola bars, and nuts and seeds, as then they will be within sight and reach. Staying hydrated is also essential so you want to keep a jug of water and a few glasses on the kitchen island to remind everyone who passes them to have a glass. What is more, if your kids are now living in two homes, it’s essential to introduce them to how your home is organized so that they can also adopt these healthy habits.

When spending plenty of time at home, you want to ensure this space is created so that it supports healthy habits. That means that you should be mindful when choosing the materials and color scheme for your living quarters. Moreover, you want to make sure there is plenty of air and light as well as bring in some nature.

7 Tips to Help a Child with ADHD Cope with Their Parents Divorce

Help a Child with ADHD Cope with Their Parents Divorce

Divorce is a complex emotional process that is difficult for all parties involved. Сhildren whose parents are divorcing experience depression, irritation, and anger. Some of the children may even blame themselves for the parent’s separation. However, things can get worse when it comes to kids with ADHD.

Facts About ADHD

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or attention deficit disorder (ADD) is one of the most common behavioral disorders. It is usually first diagnosed in childhood and may persist into adulthood.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2016, 6.1 million children of all ages (9.4%) in the United States had ADHD. Symptoms should be present for more than six months for a diagnosis.

Children with ADHD may be hyperactive and have problems controlling impulsive behavior and concentrating. Some children and adults with ADHD may also have difficulty regulating their emotions.

ADHD in children can deteriorate school performance and relationships with peers and adults. ADHD is a disease that requires treatment, including medication.

What to Expect

Divorce of parents is a challenging test for any child. However, for children with ADHD, the situation turns into a tragedy. It is challenging for them to fully understand the nature of their emotions and cope with impulses.

Support for children with ADHD going through a divorce involves parents’ understanding and accepting the problem. A parent is a reliable support system for a child.

Psychologists identify three main issues that adults and children face:

  • Trouble managing emotions. The news of a parents’ divorce can be a real emotional shock for a child. Children with ADHD may find it challenging to deal with anger, sadness, and anxiety during and after divorce. Often this leads to tantrums and possible physical beatings.
  • Hyper focusing. Although one of the symptoms of ADHD is impaired concentration, it manifests as the opposite symptom in some cases. Children with ADHD may dwell on negative aspects, such as divorce, and do not let the situation go for a long time. It can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and blame for the parents’ breakup.
  • Trouble with flexible thinking. It is hard for children with ADHD to quickly adapt to new changes and adjust their perception of the situation. As a result, it leads to a long-term denial of the parental separation and the rejection of the new rules or new parents’ partners.

You can not protect the child from all the negative consequences. However, understanding the nature and reasons of their reactions to certain factors can help your kids get through difficulties faster and more smoothly.

Strategies to Help a Child Deal with Divorce

The tips below will help parents organize their child care and focus on specific factors that require attention.

1. Work Together with the Co-Parent

Dealing with divorce and children can be difficult for parents because so many things need their attention. However, when raising a child with ADHD, it is vital to adhere to a single system to avoid confusing them.

Children with ADHD quickly lose concentration. Because of this, it is difficult for them to immediately understand complex things, such as the causes and consequences of divorce. As a result, their reaction to unclear explanations or criticism of the other parent can turn into hysteria and ruthlessness. After all, they simply do not know how to respond to family changes.

Parents need to agree on what they will say to their child regarding divorce and further action. At this point, spouses should show the children that they are not the reason for their parent’s separation.

Co-parents’ teamwork can help the child feel less out of control.

2. Keep an Open Dialogue

Many parents mistakenly believe that to help their children cope with their separation, they need to pretend that everything is fine and nothing happened. However, children quickly notice the slightest change in their parents’ attitudes and react to it. For example, frequent whims, poor school performance, protests against meals or walks, and so on.

In this way, children with ADHD try to attract their parents’ attention and become the force that unites them again. It’s like the saying goes: “Nothing brings you together like a common enemy.” The principle is the same.

Parents should talk openly about divorce with their children. However, depending on the child’s age, they need to choose the appropriate tone. The child may not be ready to discuss everything at once. Give them time to think. And then return to the conversation later.

3. Tell Your Child What to Expect

This paragraph is similar to the previous one. However, here we focus on preparing a child with ADHD for the coming changes in home life.

Parents should talk to their children and explain how their lives will change with a divorce. Try to calm the child and assure them that there will be no global changes. Parents, as before, will both be present in the child’s life. To do this, give specific examples like: “Now dad will take you to his place every weekend,” or “Now you will have two houses.”

Parents should not overload the child with information at once, do it gradually. You can also use supportive tools. For example, by reading children’s books about divorce, you can clearly explain why parents can no longer be together.

Popular books now are:

  • Dinosaurs Divorce by Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

The dinosaur family explores why parents can get divorced and what happens after a divorce. In the book, you will find answers to common questions that a child may have. It is designed for children from 3 to 7 years old.

  • It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear by Vicki Lansky

After the divorce of Koko’s bear parents, the protagonist experiences a range of emotions such as guilt, anger, and sadness. On every page, you can find tips on how to help your child identify and express feelings. It is designed for children from 3 to 7 years old.

  • Two Homes by Claire Masurel

The book tells about Alex, who lives with his mother and father in different houses. He has two beds, two armchairs, and two favorite groups of friends. With this book, you can help your child understand that they are loved by both parents, no matter where or with whom they live. It is designed for children from 3 to 7 years old.

  • Mom’s House, Dad’s House for Kids by Isolina Ricci

A qualified family therapist wrote this book to help teens deal with conflicting home rules and schedules. The story will help children stay neutral when their parents disagree and deal with guilt, stress, and other emotions. In addition, the book includes easy-to-use and straightforward worksheets. It is designed for children 10 years and older.

  • My Family’s Changing by Pat Thomas

This picture book talks about the concept of divorce. It also contains questions parents can ask their children to help them sort out their feelings. It is designed for children 4 years and older.

  • Divorce Is Not the End of the World by Zoe and Evan Stern

This book is remarkable because it was written by teenagers (with the support of their mother) who coped with their parents’ divorce. The book considers managing emotions, adapting to stepparents, adjusting to rules and schedules in different houses, etc. It is designed for children 8 years and older.

4. Keep Rules

Helping kids go through a divorce, parents can ease up on their day-to-day rules. However, during this period, children with ADHD need parental control. Parents should stick to the usual system so that children do not feel lost and out of control. Even something as small as changing kids’ bedtime can affect your child’s behavior.

5. Protect Rituals and Schedules

Divorce will make adjustments to family life. However, parents that have kids with ADHD should maintain their child’s daily routines. In this case, we are not talking about rules, but about actions such as doing sports, taking medicine, playing a musical instrument, etc.

Some divorced parents may disagree on ADHD medication and refuse to support their child’s treatment. Therefore, in joint custody, parents should agree on the need for treatment, the schedule, and the dose of ADHD medication. After all, their child’s health and further standing in society depend on this.

6. Don’t Ignore Unacceptable Behavior

Everything should have a limit. Parents should understand the emotions and feelings of the child. However, this does not mean kids should be allowed to do what they want without punishment. For example, a child with ADHD may be angry or sad because of their parents’ separation, but don’t let violence or tantrums become the norm.

Parents should talk to their children about healthy ways to express their emotions. They can also get a family psychologist consultation or attend specialized courses to help children of divorce. In addition, parents can turn to medication treatment.

7. Be Mindful About Dating

When parents have a new partner, this can turn into two scenarios. First, children with ADHD may have a negative attitude towards a new beloved and consider this as a parent’s betrayal. It can lead to alienation between the child and the parent.

The second option is entirely the opposite. Children with ADHD can become very attached to a parent’s new partner very quickly, trying to fill the gap of a broken family. And in the end, if you break up with a new partner, it can be a tragedy for the child and drive them into depression.

Parents should refrain from introducing their children to new lovers if they are unsure about the relationship. 

Final Words

Parents should not be afraid of ADHD in children. Your kids may overreact to the changes, but with the right approach, you can help your daughter or son get through a divorce. The key is understanding and communication.

BIO

Anna Khmara is a certified life transformation and relationship coach with an in-depth study of transactional analysis and positive psychology. She helps clients understand the essence of the problem, establish healthy relationships, build self-esteem, manifest their dreams into reality, and find harmony.

Anna has published up-to-date guides to changing life scenarios, offering valuable advice on coping with trauma, surviving divorce, setting life goals, and implementing an effective plan to achieve them.

How hiring a child support lawyer is beneficial for divorce parents?

child custody lawyer

Assuming you are isolated or making arrangements for a separation, you want to see a kid authority attorney. When documenting a separation case in court you need to conclude who will be taking the care of your youngster. While addressing yourself in the court employing the administrations of a youngster care legal counselor is consistently a decent choice without a doubt. There are circumstances when assurance and coarseness are sufficiently not and you want appropriate lawful portrayal for getting the care of your kid. This is the place where you will need the help and support of Child Custody Lawyers Melbourne. There are different legitimate cases for conspiracy, crime or for any youngster provocation case that both party perpetrates. Along these lines, under the kid guardianship locale, a legal advisor likewise needs to go for cases that think about the criminal records of a singular parent.

If you are facing a problem in collecting the monthly payment from employees or there are custody related issues, then your and your child’s rights are being challenged. In such situations, to protect your rights and for your and your child’s health and happiness, you might have to fight a legal battle. As you are not a legal expert, you need one; thus, you should reach out to child support lawyers.

Why Should You Get A Child Custody Lawyer?

If a couple is going through a separation, and they have youngsters the issue of kid raising expects significance.

Authority of the kid is fundamental for most guardians. Prior, the court used to lean toward moms in kid authority cases.

In any case, the situation has changed with the kid care law turning out to be more unbiased as moms are likewise a functioning guardian.

Presently, the court considers the youngster’s wellbeing prior to surrendering the guardianship to any parent. It isn’t not difficult to decide how you can win the instance of youngster care because of the intricacies of kid authority law.

The kid care legal counsellor has the legitimate preparation to deal with such complex matters easily consequently simplifying the entire cycle. Regardless of whether you need to turn into a custodial parent or non-custodial parent, looking for the assistance of expert, for this situation, will decrease your concerns.

These lawyers can help you in many things that are discussed below in this article.  

Child custody: Child custody is one of the main reasons that takes the parents to family court if they are getting separated. To understand why you need child support lawyers, you should first understand the types of custody.

Type of custody: There are two types of custody physical or legal. Kindly note, if you have legal custody of your child, you can make crucial decisions in their life. These include decisions like which school the child will attend, health-related decisions, and more. Let’s take each custody separately to understand in a better way.

Legal custody: Legal custody can be either sole or joint. In sole custody, one parent is the only decision-maker. While in joint custody, one of the parents is responsible for most of the decisions as well as is the main caregiver. The other parent is just the participant in these decisions. At times, if one parent becomes the tiebreaker due to the disagreement and reaches out to child support lawyers. You can apply for sole custody if you don’t agree to these matters, and if your points are right, the judge may alot you sole custody of your child. But to prove your point, you would require the help of child support lawyers. You can make a claim of sole custody if your spouse is abusive, neglectful, have no time to participate in your child’s everyday life, and if he is careless. 

Physical custody: Either single parent or both parents can get physical custody. In case of physical custody, they live with you regularly. If you want physical custody, you may have to prove in court that if the child is living with your spouse, it can be harmful to them. For example, you can stop them from relocating by proving that relocation may harm your child’s future.  

So, be it legal or physical custody, if you want to stay with your child, you need lawyers’ assistance.

To speed up the case: If you are trying to fight the custody battle on your own, there are chances that you may delay the case as you don’t have sufficient knowledge. But it is not the same in the case of child support lawyers. They can help in speeding up the case and resolve it in much lesser time than you think.

Knowledge: Be it any field, you need experts because of their knowledge and expertise. As an individual, you are not someone who is familiar with the complexities of laws related to the family. Hence, if you hire skilled child support lawyers or custody attorneys, you can sit and relax as they know what questions can be raised in the court and how to counter them. They will ensure that they don’t make any legal mistakes that can weaken your case and the final verdict is in your favour.

When Do You Need A Child Custody Lawyer?

It’s critical to know when to employ a youngster care legal counsellor.

In the event that the two guardians can’t reach an unmistakable resolution with respect to the emotionally supportive network and address of the kid post-separate, then, at that point, the requirement for a legal advisor emerges.

A youngster guardianship legal advisor is required when your ex is working with one as of now as you would rather not lose authority of your children.

In the event that your case turns up convoluted due to a changed psyche or whatever other revelation, how will you treat such a vital time? Go for a legal advisor.

On the off chance that your accomplice is residing in an alternate state or country, you should employ a legal counsellor as he/she can assist you with the laws of the two spots and furthermore offer the right guidance.

In the event that you think your kids are in peril with your accomplice, you ought to get the assistance of a legal advisor to get authority as quickly as time permits.

In occurrences where your ex disallows you to meet the kid or kids, you’ll require a legal counselor.

Assuming the court has encouraged you to take outrage the board classes, liquor treatment, social treatment or nurturing classes, then, at that point, you’ll require a kid care attorney in the court to address you.

Assuming your ex is moving, or remarrying may create problems to your children, then, at that point, you should recruit an attorney.

Court thinks about different variables prior to choosing to surrender a youngster or the kids. A portion of these is the youngster’s physical and enthusiastic wellbeing, the connection between the kid and parent.

The steadiness of your work and home climate or any sort of proof against you connected with youngster misuse additionally assumes a critical part. Thus, to substantiate yourself commendable under the steady gaze of the court for dealing with your kid you will require the help of the kid care attorney.

Frequently, guardianship can possibly influence the satisfaction and advancement of your kids and, sometimes, even their wellbeing. Discover how you can secure your youngsters during a guardianship debate.

Consequently, these elements must be remembered while in the event that you want the youngster support attorney or not and how he can be useful to you. It is better 100% of the time to take the assistance of the attorney when you are confronting the pressure of your kid authority to guarantee that you can get your kid back. These are some of the main reasons that can help in making your life easy if you hire child support lawyers. Hiring them will keep your mental peace intact and the chances of winning the case will also become higher. 

Feelings, Relationships, and Pregnancy: Dealing with Breakup While Pregnant

A Breakup When You’re Pregnant

Overcoming a breakup is challenging no matter what the circumstances are. But when you’re pregnant things become a whole lot more complicated. However, that does not mean they are impossible to manage. Even though it might feel like the world is crumbling before your eyes, this shift in trajectory might be what is best for you and your child in the long run.

Women have been birthing and raising children since the dawn of time. And many of them have triumphantly done so without the support of a biological father.

That said, it’s important to remember that whatever your emotional response to this is, it’s okay.

Managing a breakup while pregnant is a tough challenge to accept. But you can emerge from this situation stronger, happier, and more yourself than ever before.


Feeling Overwhelmed Is Natural

If you’ve found yourself in this position, chances are you are feeling overwhelmed and possibly even scared. Both of these reactions are completely understandable and natural.

Before the breakup, you probably had an expectation about how your pregnancy experience would be. Now, those expectations have not come to fruition, and co-parenting and custody are an unexpected part of your future. Dashed expectations are always difficult to handle, especially if there is a long-term emotional investment involved.

Being pregnant is probably one of the most emotionally turbulent experiences a human can have. So, it’s important to maintain a sense of compassion for how you’re naturally responding to the situation.


An Opportunity To Revisit Your Relationship With Yourself

Even though it probably doesn’t feel like it, this change in plans could give rise to a renewed sense of intimacy and understanding of yourself. 

Many women report gaining mental and emotional clarity when pregnant, saying it allows them to see the world in ways that maybe they were afraid of before. Being away from your partner can give you the opportunity to reconnect with parts of yourself that you’ve forgotten, or suppressed.

This time could represent a moment of clarity for you to look inward and process your position in life without the distraction (and in some cases, the suffocation) of a serious relationship.

Now is the time to embrace all aspects of who you are—your past, your present, and your future, in whatever ways it may unfold.

There’s no point in pretending that dealing with a breakup while pregnant is easy. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be a catalyst for other changes in your life that you may have been putting off for a while.

Ways To Cope

While holding space for the emotional and mental responses that are currently going on inside of you, it’s also important to focus on practical solutions.

Having a game plan for dealing and coping with the pregnancy will add structure to your life. Plus, it will enable you to tackle each challenge with more confidence.

Seeking guidance from others, reaching out for support, and finding constructive ways to cope with stress or anxiety are going to be your primary objectives over the next few months.

With the right approach, you and every other woman in this position can break through the inevitable struggles. You can create a life for you and your baby that is even better than you could have imagined alongside your ex.

Give yourself time to grieve

Grief is a normal response to any breakup, especially in your adult life. You’ve probably spent years investing time and energy into your past relationship. Now that it has come to an end, you are grieving all that was lost.

Grief can manifest in a variety of ways, and it is usually different for each person. Your experience with grief will not necessarily be the same as anyone else’s. You need to give yourself room to meet those feelings, no matter what they look like.

Crying, laughing, sleeping, or baking (yes, stress-baking is not an uncommon occurrence) are just some of the things you might feel compelled to do while processing grief.

Allow yourself the time and space necessary to process your grief in whatever ways feel natural. Freely and unapologetically holding space for your grief is the most effective way to process it.

Choose not to dwell on the past

When life hits you out of nowhere, it can be easy to want to relive the past. However, romanticizing and fixating on the past can prevent us from being fully present. With a new child on the way, being present is critical for their support.

In order to effectively manage your situation, you will need to show up for yourself and your future child in ways that can initially feel scary and daunting.

Looking at photographs of you and your ex, going through their old belongings—these are both things that feel tempting and comforting at the time. But often, they only result in more pain. Try to be strong in those moments and resist the urge to dwell on the past.

Lean on friends and family for support

This is not the time to feel shy about asking for help and support. Friends, family, neighbors, and loved ones of all kinds want to be there for you. Don’t be afraid to lean on them for support when things get tough, or even when you just need someone to talk to.

Anyone in your life who knows you and loves you almost certainly wants to help you get through this. You don’t need to feel guilty about needing support. It’s completely reasonable for you to lean on others during this time of confusion.

If somebody you trust offers to help you (whether it is financially, emotionally, domestically or otherwise), have the courage to take them up on that offer. You deserve to feel supported. Don’t be shy to speak up and vocalize your needs to those who care.

Try to make peace with your situation

There’s no point in fighting the reality of your situation. Even though it might take some time, and that is completely acceptable, making peace with how things have unfolded is the best way to take back charge over your life.

Making peace with your situation is not something that will happen overnight. It will probably come alongside a lifelong journey of self-acceptance.

You might be feeling angry, hurt, and ready to blame your ex for every hardship you are experiencing. However, those feelings can become destructive when left unchecked.

Where possible, try to make amends with your ex. If that’s not an option, aim to make amends with yourself.

The breakup has already happened, now you get to choose how you respond to your newfound independence. Will it be with peace and acceptance or anger and regret? Guess which one will be easier in the long run.

Find constructive ways to manage your stress levels

Everyone needs to know what their stress triggers are and how to manage their responses. In your position, it’s only natural to anticipate some stress and anxiety from time to time.

Rather than allowing this notion to send your head spinning, focus instead on constructive methods of stress management that you know you can rely on in times of distress. Having a plan of action for when things feel overwhelming will make you feel stronger and more prepared for life.

A walk in nature, calming breathing exercises, or watching your favorite movie with a friend can all help to reduce your stress levels. Make sure you have a list of feel-good activities prepped and ready to go when you need some comfort and grounding.

Focus on supporting your baby and your body

The perfect place to funnel your attention is sitting right under your nose—in your womb, to be exact. The admin involved in a serious breakup may be distracting. But the best place to invest your time and energy right now is directly towards your baby and the body that grows them.

Now is the time to pour all of your love, attention, and energy into the health and wellbeing of both your own body and state of mind, and that of your unborn child.

Focusing on keeping your body strong, happy, and nourished will mean that, in turn, your baby’s body is strong, happy, and nourished. Shower yourself and your baby in love through the forms of good food, gentle exercise, community bonding, and preparation for birth.

Remember that you are not alone

Even though it might feel at times like this is the worst thing that could have happened, it can be soothing to remember that this is an experience you share with millions of other women throughout the ages.

Remember that you are not alone. Not just in the sense that there are people around you who love and care for you. But also in the sense that you are certainly not the first woman to go through this process— and come out the other end happier and more fulfilled than ever before.

Yes, this is a huge change of direction for your life and your child’s life. But at the end of the day, you get to decide how this experience will unfold. You are going to get through this!

The Importance of Reinventing Your Home After Divorce

Your Home After Divorce

No matter how smoothly and cordially the process goes, divorce is nearly always a heartbreaking struggle. Chances are you have entered the marriage expecting to spend the rest of your life with that partner, even building a home together you can call your own. But since small parts of both of you are likely scattered through that home, reinventing it after divorce can be of great help. It is a productive and healthy way to deal with your emotions and overcome this turbulent period, and here is how you could do just that:

Start by redecorating the bedroom

Your bedroom is likely the one area of your home that reminds you of your ex partner the most. Not only was this a space you decorated together, filling it with certain items that were important to you as a couple, but it was also the place where you were the most intimate, both physically and emotionally.

That is why redecorating your bedroom first is so important, giving you the opportunity to let go of any painful reminders, bitter memories, and anything else that might be holding you back. If you don’t have enough time or money for a full bedroom makeover, keep in mind that even small investments like new bedding and curtains could transform the look of your space and help you feel that much happier.

Attempt to declutter your home

Reminders aren’t only in your bedroom and wardrobe; they can likely be found all around your home. For that reason, decluttering each room can turn out to be quite a liberating experience, allowing you to clean out your space, minimize mess, and let go of any items that remind you of your ex partner.

From their clothes to the wedding gifts you received, consider everything when decluttering your home. You might wish to keep certain items for their practicality or as a nice keepsake of the time you spent together. When it comes to the things you want to remove from your home, it’s recommended to pack them in separate boxes and ask your ex partner if they would like to keep them, in case you are on good terms.

Repaint the walls for brightness

While we often overlook colors, they can have quite a powerful impact on our overall mood. Feelings of discouragement, sadness, and a loss of confidence are all completely normal after divorce, but painting your home in appropriate colors can help to bring back some positivity and optimism you might need.

As colors can affect our emotions, aim for uplifting or relaxing shades. For instance, a soothing blue or calming green can be great hues for creating a relaxing atmosphere, while brighter yellow and orange shades could uplift, energize, and inspire. No matter which color you choose, a fresh coat of pain is bound to transform your space, as well as your state of mind.

Incorporate rugs for warmth

In case you need more comfort and warmth in your space, on the other hand, rugs are the perfect solution. They can easily be incorporated into any room, add more layers and dimension, and tie the whole interior design together, all while giving you that snug and cozy feeling that helps to make a house a home, even if it is now changed.

Consider including stunning berber rugs into your decor when reinventing your home. These rugs are simple and neutral enough to effortlessly complement and elevate any design, while still being soft, fluffy, and warm enough to increase the comfort levels in your space and make you feel happier in your home.

Find your unique design style

Living with another person typically means decorating your home together and finding a design style that suits both of your preferences. But after the divorce, there will no longer be a need for compromise. You will have the freedom to find your own interior style and focus only on what you like and enjoy.

From minimalist spaces that promote peace and relaxation to nature-inspired designs that inspire tranquility, there are a number of different interior design styles you could opt for. The important thing is to choose something you absolutely love, in order to make the home look and feel truly your own.

Include your favorite pieces

Once you’ve found your preferred interior style, you can begin filing your home with pieces that really speak to you. Instead of sleeping in the same bed you’ve shared with your ex partner or allowing their favorite chair to take center stage, don’t be afraid to invest in furniture pieces you truly love.

Then, aim to make those items the focal point of each room, whether that means incorporating a stunning new couch into the living room or a beautiful antique dresser in the bedroom. Apart from helping you to reinvent your space, new furniture items as focal points will also make your home feel more like you.

Use decorations for personality

When redesigning your home after divorce, it’s also important to express yourself through the decor and give it that missing personal touch. Along with new furniture, this also means choosing smaller decor items that speak to you on a personal level and make you feel as if your home is only yours, and not shared with another person.

For example, you can choose large art pieces that inspire you and hang them on accent walls, or even make a gallery wall filled with your favorite photographs of your friends and family. Similarly, you could fill up your shells with attractive vases, books you love, and personal memorabilia, or anything else that makes you feel happy and content when you look at it.

Turn to nature for peacefulness

After the whirlwind of emotions we tend to feel when going through divorce, sometimes all we truly need is to focus on ourselves and our well-being. Plants and greenery can be of great help in this regard, bringing some natural peacefulness and serenity into your home, while effortlessly embellishing it with its beautiful shades as well.

What’s more, plants could also lift your mood and provide your home with cleaner air, thus allowing you to create a healthier and more pleasant space. Whether you go for small succulents, large potted houseplants, or even hanging planters and table arrangements, plants are bound to improve your home in any form.

Evidently, redecorating your home after divorce is quite an important part of the entire healing process. As long as you take it one step at a time, focus on what matters to you the most, and make an effort to create a beautiful space of your own, you can freely embark on a journey throughout the following chapters of your life.

How to Improve Your Sleep after Divorce Stress

After divorce stress can disrupt your sleep and endanger your overall health. Therefore it’s important to calm your mind and have a good quality sleep.

The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale that studies how much stress affects health placed divorce in the second place — the first being taken by the “death of spouse” event. Also known as the Social Readjustment Rating Scale, this tool consists of 43 events deemed stressful enough to cause illness and mental health issues. But why is divorce so gravely stressful?

The Attachment Theory has some answers for this. Developed by a British psychiatrist John Bowlby and further enhanced by his colleague, Mary Ainsworth, this theory was firstly about the child-parent relationship. However, in the ’80s, Cindy Hazan and Philip Shaver expanded the theory to include adult romantic relationships as an attachment process, implying strong psychological and emotional bonds between partners.  

End of relationship and stress

Divorce is emotionally challenging and no matter how maturely the couple deals with this event, it can still be quite stressful. After the divorce, the partners separate from each other, change their lifestyle and habits, move to another place, and continue forward without sharing responsibilities with the other person. It also can affect other relationships in their lives, like with their children, family, friends, and colleagues.

The most stressful of all is grief. Defined as an agonizing loss that overwhelms a person, grief is the reaction to the divorce. Grief can be experienced by both partners, it doesn’t matter who left who. The American Institute of Stress sees grief as psychological trauma and a person needs to have a period of mourning to heal. During this time, a person is in distress and suffers from various conditions because of it, like difficulty sleeping.

Sleep problems after divorce

Losing sleep after a divorce is common, but that makes it far from okay. Sleep is necessary to store memory, boost immunity, repair damage inside the body, and regenerate cells. It’s one of the most important processes that happen in human life, so when it’s disrupted, a person suffers consequences.

Nights are the trickiest time of day after a stressful event, but losing a loved one makes it even harder. You look at that extra space in bed and feel alone, abandoned, and broken, trying to find answers to why is this happening to you and what have you done wrong. If finally, you do fall asleep, your dreams are troubling or you wake up every few minutes, reminded of your predicament.

Ways to improve sleep after divorce

However horrifying it may seem, there is a way out from this situation. It won’t be easy and it may take time, but taking control of your sleep habits is a path to being alright. Here is what you can do to improve sleep after divorce stress and overcome this difficult time.

Seek counseling

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is always a good idea, especially after something as hard as divorce. It helps you to recognize the problems and deal with them so they don’t negatively affect your life anymore. Look for therapists who are specialized to deal with sleep disorders and divorce, since they may have more experience on the matter.

However, remember that this won’t bring resolution overnight. You have to find a therapist that makes you comfortable to open up and talk about the deepest issues. Once you do, you need to make an effort to listen to their advice and be willing to go through uncomfortable stages to be comfortable in your life again.

Take natural sleep aids

A therapist can prescribe you medicines to help you fall asleep or treat depression, anxiety, and any other psychological effect of divorce. If you are still deciding whether to go to a therapist, you can try natural sleep aids. Herbal teas are a common go-to option since some herbs both have a calming and sleeping effect, like chamomile. Lavender and mint are also famous for their relaxing properties, so you can add them to your teapot as well.

Those who are not fans of tea can try drops or tablets made from valerian, hops, and other soothing herbs, or lavender pillow spray. Aromatherapy with scented candles and essential oils has been known to help fall asleep. You can use essential oils in a warm bath or a diffuser but stay away from refreshing scents, like citruses, since they can keep you awake.

People having trouble falling asleep also take melatonin supplements which is a hormone naturally released in the body that controls the sleep-wake cycle. In a man-made variant, you can take it as a pill every night before bed for a short time, although it’s best to consult with your physician first.    

Buy new bedding

Take all the bedding you shared with your partner, throw them away or donate them, and go buy yourself new ones! Getting completely new pillowcases and bed linen is part of your fresh start to go forward and leave the past behind. Even pillows and covers have to go if you are uncomfortable using them.

In case the bed is a problem, you should replace it as well. The key is to remove the space you shared with someone and create a personal space that is your own. That way, you won’t look at their side of a bed as a loss, but you will have the whole bed for yourself. 

Keep the room dark

Being alone in a dark room may seem like the last thing you need when in emotional distress, but it’s one of the best ways to fall asleep. You can have a cup of chamomile tea before bed and use a sleep sound machine when you turn off the lights to help. When there is no light, the body interprets it as a sign it’s time to sleep.

For this reason, having electronic devices that emit light in your bedroom is also not a good idea. If you do have to keep your phone inside the room, avoid putting it on the nightstand and cover your eyes with a sleeping mask. Moreover, no TV, smartphone, or any other screen at least two hours before bed will minimize your exposure to blue light that can interfere with the sleep-wake cycle. 

Have a bedroom makeover

Since divorce is a life-changing event, you should go with the flow and change your environment. If moving to a new home is not an option, go for the easier one — a makeover. To get yourself going, start with something small like redecorating your bedroom so you don’t tire yourself and give up quickly. Throw out old furniture or have it redone, put new paint on the walls, add some wallpapers, hang new curtains, and spread a new carpet.

What once was a couple’s territory, now is only yours and you should let your creativity and personal desires define your bedroom décor. While at it, declutter memorabilia on your relationship, like a wedding album, photos, gifts, and other things you share with your partner.    

Practice meditation and breathing techniques

Meditating is commonly used to de-stress and focus on the present. It relaxes the body and mind, helping you calm down and fall asleep. According to a 2015 study, meditation and practicing mindfulness can improve sleep quality by evoking a relaxation response. An important part of meditation is proper breathing, something you can try when you have difficulty falling asleep.

A breathing technique known as 4-7-8 is often recommended by therapists. It involves breathing in through your nose until you count to 4, holding your breath until 7, and breathing out slowly while counting to 8. Repeat this a few times and count as quickly as necessary to comfortably breathe during this exercise. Soon enough you will start feeling sleepy.   

Stay away from caffeine or alcohol before bed

Caffeine is a substance found in coffee and some types of tea that is excellent to stay awake. That said, you shouldn’t drink any of these beverages before bed, except for caffeine-free teas. Unfortunately, these are not only drinks that contain caffeine since energy and some fizzy juices are full of it.

Introducing Kids to Their New Second Home After Divorce

New Second Home After Divorce

One of the main aspects of divorce that affects children is the fact that their parents are now going to live at different addresses and that their current home isn’t their only home any more. For them to fully accept their second home, both parents have to make an effort and make the transition smoother. Here are some ways to introduce your kids to their new second home without making it stressful for them.

Talk to Them

Children are more sensitive than adults and, when something as big as a divorce happens, you can expect them to have a lot of questions. However, it won’t always be easy for them to ask you those questions directly. They might be confused by everything going on, or they might be worried about upsetting you with what they need to know, so it’s possible that they’ll simply stay quiet if you don’t initiate the conversation. In any case, both you and your spouse should find time each day to talk to them, address their emotions and explain all that you can about the divorce and how you expect things to be in the future. This, of course, includes the new living arrangements. When you walk children through each step of the move, and especially if you include them in the decision-making, they’ll find the process less intimidating and consequently less stressful. For instance, if your children are old enough, you could ask for their input about where they’d like to live or at least how they want their room to be furnished. This allows you to bond with them and show them that their parents still adore them as much as they always have. Plus, knowing that they can turn to either of you for any problem or question they have will bring them some relief and reassurance, but it could also diminish their resistance to the imminent change.

Put Them First

Although parents love their children, want what’s best for them and generally put their children’s needs above their own, it’s sometimes extremely difficult to stay level-headed in certain situations, divorce being one of them. This is something you have to be very conscious about, and remember to avoid saying anything bad or to show any resentment or anger aimed at your spouse in front of them. Another crucial matter is that the new home should be adjusted to your children’s needs. This means that they have their own room, that the home itself and the neighborhood it’s in are safe and appealing and that the place has everything your child needs to feel comfortable. These home standards are also something that the courts tend to ask the parties in the divorce to abide to, which may vary from state to state. For instance, courts in Texas usually give parents joint management conservatorship, meaning that both parents have an equal say in the children’s upbringing, which means both homes are of equal significance for child rearing. However, their courts also have certain requirements about the new home, with regards to children’s safety and comfort. That’s why Texans usually don’t stray too far from their previous communities, but instead seek first-rate apartments for rent in Brownsville, that fall into all the safety categories courts might find fundamental. With their children’s best interest in mind, these parents opt for apartments with top amenities, where dogs and cats are allowed, as children feel more pleasant with their pet around.

Adjust the Place to Them

Last, but not least, always bear in mind that this is supposed to be your children’s home and that it should cater to their needs, but also their emotions and character. Let them pick the furniture and any decorations for their room. Perhaps you can even make the place more familiar for them by filling it with some of their favorite belongings. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should take all of those belongings from what they call home right now, as that might upset your children. Instead, make a list of some of their most treasured items and purchase the exact same ones to bring into the new home. Another option is to pack such objects when your children are switching between homes. This could provide your children with some comfort and ease some of their potential anxiety about the new home and the divorce itself. A home should be a joyous place for them, which can only be possible if the place is adapted to their preferences.

Keep It Tidy

A cluttered space can make you edgy, break your focus and decrease your productivity. This is why, if you want to function well in any space, you have to keep it tidy and get rid of any excess objects. As an adult, this is something you deal with daily, but when you have children, it’s vital that you take into account their well-being and put it first. Namely, children are also affected by clutter. It can make it difficult for them to process their thoughts and emotions, but it might also leave them frustrated, if they aren’t able to do their work or play in a manner they are used to. This can also prevent them from dealing with the divorce and having to live between two homes. In addition, when you’re trying to get them to like their new living space, making it cozy and appealing can only help your case. Start with limiting the number of decorative elements, toys and other belongings you fill your new home with. If there are too many things in a space that may not be as big as your previous family home, it can become crowded and messy soon, which your children may find unappealing and they might resist you when you want them to spend their time there. Make it your mission to clean and declutter the new home regularly, so that you create a calming and loving environment they’ll want to live in and that they’ll always gladly come back to, as that’s how a home should feel like for them.

Divorces are emotionally consuming and traumatic for adults, let alone for children. This is something every parent going through a divorce has in mind. It’s no wonder then that your focus is precisely on how to make the inevitable change as easy as possible on your children. Your attitude towards your partner and the cooperation between you is something you need to work hard on, as only that way your children will feel welcome, secure and equally loved in both their homes.

When Parents Divorce: How to Keep Your Kids Out of It

parents divorce

Divorce is without question challenging. Throw children into the mix, and a new series of challenges arise. It’s no secret that the average divorce rate in America is 42.6%.

For both parties, it’s best when parents divorce if matters can be handled with dignity and respect. If you are experiencing the unchartered territory of divorcing with kids, continue reading for the best strategies.

Respect Respect Respect

Respect is key. You and your ex may be navigating a nasty divorce. Tensions may arise, and tempers may flare. Children represent the best parts of you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

It is essential to understand that children are the innocent bystanders of divorce. A once-happy household suddenly split into two parts can be a huge adjustment for any child. Experiencing the anguish that comes as a result of separated parents or divorced parents can be life-altering. 

Regardless of any bitter feelings you may have, respecting your former partner will set a positive example for your child or children. Kids need to feel a sense of unity, even if parents are no longer together.

If you are a single mom or single dad, remember that life will move forward. Adjustments may be uncomfortable at first, but things will improve. 

Your child will feel more secure about the transitioning process if both parents are united and show respect for each other. If you are in stepmom or stepfather, you can show support by speaking positively around your child.

Tips for Handling a Divorce

Honesty is the best policy. Be honest with your child or children. Most importantly, make it clear that divorce is only between adults. You may have to remind your child several times that they are not responsible for the divorce. 

Depending on the age of your child will depend on how you break the news. Small children may not be old enough to understand what is transpiring entirely. Your toddler might be clingier than usual. 

You may find your teenager transform into an angry monster right before your eyes. All of these behaviors are perfectly normal.

Talk with your ex-spouse find ways to maintain unity if possible. It may take time and lots of practice but ensuring that you can communicate effectively will make a difference. 

Understanding Your Child’s Perspective on Parents Divorce

Take a moment to put yourself in your child’s position. 

Your child undeniably loves you and your former spouse very much. Try to gain insight into what your child might be feeling. Harness these feelings. Use them as momentum to be the parent your child needs you to be. 

Divorce is a difficult time for everyone involved. Once the smoke clears and routines are established, you may find a sense of relief. Maintaining an understanding of what your child is going through will encourage you to persevere moving forward.

Learn how to communicate with your former partner. You both want what’s best for your child or children. Removing any tension and negative emotions will allow you both to work together proactively. 

Positivity and Empowerment

A positive mindset will not only serve you well but your child also. Positivity is contagious. Learning to laugh during difficult times will make life oh so sweet during times of harmony.

Try to keep things as amicable as possible with your ex. Agree to keep kids out of your divorce to avoid any hard feelings. 

Enjoy spending quality time with your child. It would be best if you didn’t burden your child with the emotional toll of a pending divorce. Avoid discussing your ex or asking overly personal questions that could make your child uncomfortable.

Learn the power of positive affirmations. Practicing daily positive affirmations can transform your mindset. 

Seek Help if You Need It

A neutral third party can offer guidance when you need it the most. 

If you recognize that you are having difficulty navigating through a painful divorce, professional guidance can help. You should never feel ashamed asking for help.

Every individual is unique, handling challenges differently. The most important thing to remember is to do what you must to protect your child or children.

A trusted third party can give you the freedom to vent and healthily deal with your emotions. This support system will help you avoid unintentionally placing your child in the middle. 

Divorcing With Kids

It is essential to be as transparent as possible with your kids during divorce. Remember to address sensitive topics in an age-appropriate manner that your child can understand.

After all, divorce not only impacts you but any children you may have. Share important details about where each parent will live, be clear about who your kids will live with primarily. 

Be clear about plans for school, extracurricular activities, and continuing friendships. Providing your child with as much stability as possible during this time is essential. 

Be a Positive Role Model

Let’s face it. No one plans on getting divorced. 

From the moment you and your spouse say “I do,” you likely never imagined ending up in such a predicament. 

You and your spouse must agree to disagree. You may not see eye to eye on everything, and that’s ok. However, putting on a positive front for your children is a must.

If at all possible, try to keep the screaming matches and arguing away from the children. Rising tensions can have negative consequences on your child later in life. 

You and your spouse must tell your child together about the impending divorce. Details of why the divorce is happening are not necessary. Your children do not need to know about any of the issues in your marriage. 

Resources Are Available

A family counselor can be a tremendous asset. Be sure to schedule appointments with and without your children. Counseling sessions will help your family to prepare for the journey ahead during the transitioning process.

If seeking a family counselor is unattainable, consider speaking with your minister. If you don’t belong to a church, reach out to someone you admire and look up to for advice.

In addition to professional help,  fantastic resources are available to help you cope. 2houses has a plethora of valuable information. Topics such as co-parenting, communication, health, and more. 

A suite of tools is available on 2houses for a low monthly cost to assist you in staying organized. 

Embrace the Power of Calm

Learn to embrace the power of calm. Divorce is a challenging time. You may face times of uncertainty and self-doubt.

You may experience feelings of hurt towards the other spouse.

These emotions are normal and expected. However, refrain from acting on your feelings. Threatening to keep your child from your partner due to anger and pain will surely backfire.

Your spouse may feel the need to retaliate or exhibit feelings of anger and hate. This vicious cycle will continue that eventually could lead to family ruin. Your child or children will be the one that ultimately suffers. 

Learn to embrace your emotions even during times of discord. Your divorce doesn’t have to be this life-shattering event that dictates your future. Consider divorce an opportunity to rediscover yourself and solely focus on your children. 

Develop a Kids First Parenting Plan

A kid’s first parenting plan can be a tremendous asset during a divorce. The purpose of a parenting plan is to ensure that the best interest of your child is met. The first step in creating a solid parenting plan is understanding your child’s best interest.

Your child should be the main focus of the parenting plan. You should take into consideration your child’s interests, friends, hobbies, and school. Each of these factors is crucial to your child’s mental and physical development. 

Communicate with the other spouse to create a workable schedule. It is essential to be realistic.

Discuss how much time each parent is available to spend quality time with their child. Be sure to consider your needs and what will flow best with your schedule. It is essential to consider which parent lives closest to your child’s school.

Be practical when determining which parent can take your child to and from school. Holidays are another sensitive topic to put in your kid’s first parenting plan. Compromise while considering what is best for your child or children.

Try to be as sensible and practical as possible when developing your kid’s first parenting plan. Always keep in mind that your child comes first. 

Maintain Boundaries 

To protect your children from divorce, boundaries are critical. 

If you have anything you wish to communicate with your ex-spouse, be clear and direct. Avoid relaying messages to the other parent through your child. This could be disastrous, causing your child to feel caught in the middle.

Be sure to give your child plenty of space. Divorce is a sensitive matter, and your child will likely have emotions to work through. Keep things as civil as possible between you and your spouse. 

Consistency is key. Make an effort to be as consistent as possible in your co-parenting efforts. Healthy boundaries with your child include, avoid sharing too much information. 

Turn Your Home Into a Safe Haven

Divorce is a difficult time for all members of a family. Your home should become a place of sanctuary for your child. You would never want your child to feel unwelcome due to tension with your spouse. 

Greet your child or children with enthusiasm and excitement when they come for a visit.

Show interest in school activities and be a shoulder to lean on. The idea is for the divorce transition to be as smooth as possible. Your child or children will appreciate your efforts. 

If your child feels safe and loved, regardless of your decision to separate, this will make a world of difference going forward. 

Don’t Make Your Kids Choose

Speak positively about your spouse, regardless of how you may feel. Adult problems are just that, adult problems.

Your children are likely not old enough to fully understand the divorce process. Allow your children the ability to stay neutral during this time and encourage them to do so. 

It is in your child’s best interest to have a healthy relationship with both parents. 

Provide Reassurance and Support

This transformative period will be one of difficulty but also a great opportunity for your family. 

As your children navigate their new normal, provide plenty of reassurance and support. You may think you know what your child is thinking and feeling but you may also be surprised.

Your children may say that they are simply ok, as the world changes around them. Be sure to set aside time to talk with them when you have the opportunity. Checking in with your children is very important. 

You want to reassure them that your impending divorce is not a direct reflection of anything that they have done wrong. Divorce is confusing for kids, the details can be sticky and overwhelming. This can be a lot for children, even teens, to process. 

Stay Involved. No matter what, reassure your child that you wish to be involved. 

Let 2houses Help You

When parents divorce, 2houses is proud to offer a suite of tools to allow a smooth co-parenting partnership. This sophisticated interface allows for optimized communication regarding your child.

Your child deserves the best from both parents, after their parent’s divorce. 

A 14-day trial is available to try 2houses services and improve your family life. Unique features such as messages, calendar, info-bank, journal, and more can help set you up for co-parenting success. Contact 2houses today for more information on subscription services and pricing.