Raising kids when you and your ex live far apart can feel like trying to herd cats in the rain—it’s chaotic and unpredictable. When it comes to making a 60/40 custody schedule work for long-distance co-parenting, opinions often clash.
Some argue that a 60/40 split is nearly impossible for families separated by distance. They believe it’s just too hard to manage when you’re far away. But others think that with some planning and plenty of patience, it can still work out just fine.
Can 60/40 Custody Schedule Really Work for Long-Distance Co-Parenting?
The truth is, it can, but it really depends on how flexible and cooperative you and your co-parent are, as well as the needs of your child. Sure, being far away can make things tricky, but with careful planning and a willingness to adapt, it’s possible!
1. Alternating Extended Weekends
One way the 60/40 schedule can work in long-distance co-parenting is by adjusting the schedule to longer but less frequent visits. For example, instead of transitioning between homes during the week, the 40% parent could have extended weekends or longer visits during school holidays. A common variation involves the child spending the school year with one parent (typically the parent with 60% custody) and extended holidays or breaks with the other parent.
Let me give you an example to paint a clearer picture. Imagine your child lives mostly with their mom in Texas, while you’re in California. To make the 60/40 schedule effective, your child could stay with their mom during the school year and then visit their dad for most of the summer break and major holidays, like Christmas and spring break. This way, the spirit of the 60/40 split stays intact without the stress of frequent travel, which can be tiring for kids.
2. Coordinating with School Calendars
School obligations are often a significant factor in long-distance co-parenting,especially when you and your co-parent live in different states with different vacation times. You can set up the 60/40 schedule to fit your child’s school calendar, allowing the parent with less time (the 40% parent) to spend more time with your child during breaks.
Planning ahead is key here. You and your co-parent need to work together and coordinate with the school to ensure your child has a stable school life, doesn’t miss important opportunities, and maintains their friendships.
3. Stay Connected by Virtual Communication
When you and your co-parent live far apart, technology becomes a lifesaver. With video calls, texts, and messaging apps, you can stay connected with your child, even from a distance. In a 60/40 custody arrangement, these virtual tools help the parent with 40% custody stay involved in your child’s daily life, even when they can’t be there in person for a while.
Potential Challenges and Solutions in 60/40 Custody Schedule
You already know that a 60/40 custody schedule can work for long-distance co-parenting if you follow some tips and strategies. However, there are challenges you might face along the way.
– Travel Fatigue and Costs
Long-distance co-parenting often means a lot of travel. This can be tiring for kids and costly for parents. To make the 60/40 arrangement work, you and your co-parent need to share the responsibility of getting your child back and forth, and make travel plans that focus on your child’s comfort.
Solution:
You can split travel costs and take turns handling transportation. Some families even choose to have virtual visits during busy school times to cut down on how often they travel.
– Emotional Adjustment
Children might find it hard to adjust emotionally when moving between homes, especially if their time with the non-custodial parent is inconsistent or feels rushed. Long stretches away from one parent can also be tough, especially for younger kids.
Solution:
You and your co-parent should keep the lines of communication open with your child. Encourage them to share their feelings and talk about any worries they have. Virtual communication can help bridge the emotional gap when they can’t be with one parent for a while.
Factors to Consider
Final advice for you – before you commit to a 60/40 custody schedule in a long-distance situation, think about these important factors:
- Age of the Child: Younger kids might have a harder time being away from one parent for long, while older kids may adapt more easily.
- Schooling and Extracurriculars: Make sure your child’s academic and social life stays stable. Moving between homes shouldn’t disrupt their routine.
- Parent-Child Relationship: Both you and your co-parent need to stay committed to having a healthy and open relationship with your child, even when you’re apart.
Every family is unique, so it’s important to find a solution that meets the specific needs of the child and both parents. With careful consideration and cooperation, the 60/40 custody schedule can provide the stability and connection that children need, even across long distances. For co-parenting help 2houses team is always here for you.