Author: Elisa

When a family finds itself in the middle of a separation or divorce, one of the first worries is “what about the children?” Research has shown that while divorce can be hard on children, its often the fighting of the parents that most directly affects the children. And the impact depends on how well the parents are able to isolate the children from these disruptions.

Many psychologists and other therapists have tips and suggestions on how best to help your children at times like these. One organization that provides a very good pamphlet and other information is the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.

Parenting is a lifelong job, and remember, you do not divorce your children. The following ideas are 7 tips to keep in mind to help buffer your children from the real and imagined problems they face during parental separation and or divorce:

1. Try to Maintain Consistency

One of the best things you can do is to maintain a regular routine and rules every day. It doesn’t matter how often your kids stay with you, having clear expectations for how they should behave is super important. This means:

• Make a plan for waking up, getting ready, school, chores, homework, TV time, and bedtime. Stick to this plan every day.
• Have clear rules about what happens if they behave well or not (like rewards for good choices and consequences for bad ones).
• Be strict but kind, and show them you love them.

During a divorce, kids might act out to see what they can get away with. It’s your job to be the steady grownup and show them life goes on even when things are not going smoothly.

Spending time with your kids regularly helps them feel safe and loved. Try to have some special one-on-one time with each child, even if it’s not for long. This will make a big difference for them.

2. Show Extra Affection

Another important point is that tough times are the best times to be more affectionate. You can show extra affection to your kids by talking openly with your kids so they feel safe sharing their feelings. Don’t hesitate to spend quality time with your child by engaging in activities they enjoy. When you start giving lots of hugs and cuddles, and saying kind things to make your child feel good about themselves. Also make an effort to listen to your kids without interruptions. Teach your youngster healthy coping mechanisms for their emotions. Be a source of strength by guiding them through challenges, celebrating their achievements. And always being there for them with patience and reassurance. As a parent you should always remember, a little more affection can make a big difference to children who are feeling scared or lonely. But, be careful, not to overdo this. 

3. Avoid Reversing Roles

Don’t switch roles with your kids during a divorce. It’s normal for them to want to cheer you up, but it’s best to keep the parent-child roles clear. You don’t want them to feel like they have to take care of you or your ex. That’s too much for them. Instead, get help from experts so you can concentrate on being there for your kids the way they need. By making sure they don’t shoulder adult responsibilities, you’re giving them the space to just be kids and helping them through this rough patch with strength and resilience.

4. Foster Connections

Help your children to stay connected. You should support your kids when they wanna hang out with friends or do stuff. It’s not a good move to switch schools or daycares if you can help it. Sometimes schools can bend the rules if you’re moving apart. You can talk to your therapist or school counselor about it. Even if you must move to a distant neighborhood and school district, make an effort to have sleepovers and playdates with their old friends, and encourage new friendships too.

5. Reassure Basic Needs

Reassure your children about the basic necessities. Your children need to hear that both parents still love them and that the problems aren’t their fault. So, Tell your kids that they’ll still get what they need, like food and a place to live. Let them know that you both parents still care about them, and that any troubles aren’t because of them.

Sometimes when parents argue about where to sleep, your kids might get scared and think they’ll have to sleep in the car. But no matter what, parents have to make sure their kids have everything they need – a comfy place to live, food, clothes, school stuff, and more. Tell your kid it’s all good, and that both parents are taking care of everything. And let them know they don’t need to worry about this stuff.

6. Minimize Exposure to Conflict

Shield your children from witnessing or being involved in parental disputes. Both parents should keep disagreements private. Always keep in mind, kids have a knack for overhearing things. Avoid putting them in the middle or making them deliver messages during arguments – that’s not their job. And as for asking them about your ex, it’s best to resist the temptation. If you really need to know something, just give your ex a call directly.

7. Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is really important, especially during challenging times. This is true for everyone, whether you have kids or not. To feel your best, eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. Don’t shut yourself off from others – spend time with friends and family who make you feel good. If you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or angry, it’s okay to ask for help from a therapist near you or take a consultation from 2houses. Family therapy can also be a great resource for you.

Remember, the more you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of the people around you!

Social media can be tricky for parents, especially after a divorce. There are apps like Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram, plus messaging apps like iMessage, WhatsApp, and even games on PlayStation that let you talk to others. These apps can be good and bad. Some people think they can help parents raise their kids together after a divorce by making it easier to talk. But they can also cause problems. Social media can make it harder for parents to get over the divorce and can make raising their kids together more difficult. To keep your kids safe during this tough time, it’s important to know the good and bad things about social media. This article will explain them and give parents some important tips to help their kids use social media safely during and after a divorce.

Social Media Post-divorce: Positive & Negative side

Social media isn’t all bad for your kids. There’s good stuff too that we can’t ignore. Let’s check out both sides.

The Positives

Social media apps keep updating, letting users see new posts instantly. For parents just starting out after a divorce, this can be heartwarming and help both parents and children feel connected. Here are some ways social media can positively impact co-parenting and relationships with your children:

Better Communication:
Social media allows both parents and extended family to stay updated on the children’s lives. Co-parents can share and view photos from the child’s school day or birthday parties without having to ask for them.

Gaming:
Parents and children can play fun and educational games together on social media or smartphone apps. This helps kids feel connected to the non-custodial parent during the week and can foster a shared interest.

Photo Sharing:
One of the best features of social media is photo sharing. Seeing daily pictures can be especially comforting for both parents and children after a divorce.

The Negatives

Social media can have many negative effects after a divorce. Here are some things to watch out for:

Oversharing: Don’t post too much personal stuff online, especially about your ex or your kids. This can be embarrassing for them and cause problems with your co-parenting. Think twice before you hit “post,” and never say bad things about your ex. It can hurt your kids (called “parental alienation”).

Moving On Too Fast: After a tough divorce, you might want to show off your new love life on social media. But hold on! Your kids might not be ready to see pictures of your new partner all the time. It can make them feel sad and alone.

Harming Your Kid’s Mental Health:
For parents in a really tough divorce or who don’t know much about co-parenting well, their kids might end up alone a lot after the divorce. During that time, social media can become a big part of their life, which can be bad. Studies show that teens who spend more than three hours a day on social media are twice as likely to feel depressed and anxious. Your kids could face cyberbullying, online abuse, and have trouble sleeping, which could hurt their mental health.

Importance of Keeping Your Kids Safe on Social Media:

Today, most kids use social media, which can be both fun and risky. After a divorce, it’s extra important to make sure your kids are safe online.

The internet and social media are a normal part of your kids’ lives. They use it to chat with friends, learn about things they like, and show who they are. But social media also has dangers, like cyberbullying, strangers who might try to hurt them, and seeing things they shouldn’t. These dangers can be even worse during a divorce when emotions are high. As parents, it’s your job to teach your kids how to be safe online, even when things are tough at home.

What to Watch Out For Online

There are some things online that can be really bad for your kids. Here are some of the biggest dangers:

• Meanies Online (Cyberbullying): Kids can be teased or even threatened online. This can make them feel really sad and scared.
• Seeing Bad Stuff (Inappropriate Content): Sometimes kids see things online that aren’t right for them, like violence or grown-up stuff.
• Strangers Who Want to Hurt You (Online Predators): Some bad people might try to trick or hurt kids online.
• Sharing Too Much (Privacy and Security Concerns): If your kids share personal things or don’t have good privacy settings, someone might steal their information or hurt them.
• Feeling Down Because of Social Media: Spending too much time on social media can make kids feel more anxious, sad, or not good about themselves, especially during a divorce.

So, How to Keep Your Kids Safe on Social Media after Divorce?

Setting Parental Controls and Privacy Settings on Social Media Platforms

• Limits for Kids: Decide which social media apps are okay for your child’s age and keep an eye on their activity.
• Privacy Check: Make sure your child’s profile is private so only approved friends can see their stuff.
• Location Off: Turn off location sharing so no one can see where your child is.
• See What They See: Regularly check your child’s posts, messages, and who they’re talking to.
• Use Special Apps: There are apps that can help you see what your child is doing online. Using those apps you can do following things-

• •  Location privacy: Using these apps, you can disable the device location for where your kids are accessing the internet.
  • Private profile: Encourage your child to use a private profile if the app has that option.
  • Personal information: Don’t let their profile show their real name, age, birthday, phone number, or home address.
  • Content filters: Block out inappropriate content they might see online.

Educate Your Kids about Online Safety:

1. Talk About Behavior: Teach your kids to be kind and respectful online and to think about what they post before they share it.
2. Protect Personal Info: Make sure your kids know not to share sensitive info online and to be cautious about who they talk to.
3. Think Critically: Help your kids learn to question what they see online and to be aware of fake news and scams.
4. Use Social Media Wisely: Encourage your kids to balance their time online with other activities and to use social media responsibly.

You Should Monitoring Your Child’s Social Media Activity

1. Check In Regularly: Keep tabs on what your kids are doing online by checking their profiles and talking to them about their activity.
2. Build Trust: Be open with your kids about why you’re monitoring their activity and make sure they feel comfortable coming to you with any concerns.
3. Use Monitoring Tools: Consider using apps or tools to help you keep track of what your kids are doing online.

Be Open and Communicate Openly With Your Kids:

1. Create a Safe Space: Make sure your kids feel comfortable talking to you about their online experiences and any problems they encounter.
2. Address Their Worries: Acknowledge that divorce can be tough on kids and talk to them about how it might affect their online behavior.
3. Empower Them: Help your kids develop the skills they need to stay safe online and encourage them to ask for help if they need it.
4. Set Boundaries Together: Involve your kids in setting rules for their online activity and praise them for following them.

Get Help if You Need It:

For practical guidance and emotional assistance, you have the option to reach out to nearby groups or organizations. Alternatively, you can directly get in touch with us or arrange a meeting. 2houses.com is committed to simplifying co-parenting and improving your life as a post-divorce parent.

Only seeing your children every other weekend can be devastating. You miss them when they are not with you, and those few short days does not give you hardly enough time to settle into a routine before they are whisked back to the primary custodial parent.

If you only have standard visitation, this usually means that is the minimal allotted time you can spend with your children by law. By being respectful to your ex, using a little imagination and some ingenuity there are ways to see your children more. Be sure to read your parenting plan and decree carefully before taking any of the following steps, and if neither say you can’t do any of the following list, go and spend some more time with your kids! So what are you waiting for? As Nike says…Just do it!

1) Take lunch to your child at school

Nothing makes a kid feel more special than when a parent shows up with a bag of Mickey D’s under their arm at lunch time. Generally, the decree will not stipulate that you are not allowed to visit your child at school, and most schools will allow you to bring lunch to your child. Email the teacher and let them know ahead of time that you are coming and enjoy lunch and maybe even recess with your child! You will not only be your child’s hero, but this way of co-parenting technique will make you the coolest parent among their friends.

2) Coach a team sport your child plays on

Does your child like sports? Many kids have practice twice and a game each week. This is a great way to have more fun time with your child. Team sports are great for kids because it teach them socialization, the art of winning and losing and how to be a team player. All lessons that will add value to their lives. Just make sure to talk with your ex first. Keep his/him informed of practices and games and let them know that you will take care of everything. Your kid will appreciate that you’re both working together as parents. They will be super happy too, and you’ll be their hero once again.

3) Offer to make pickups and drop offs for extra-curricular activities

Your ex will most likely welcome the break, and if they don’t usually do the picking up, then let them know you have made arrangements with who does pick them up and you will be doing it. Be sure to explain to your ex that you have the time to do it and would love to help lighten her load. After you pick up your child, take them out for ice cream and help them with their homework. Not only does that give you some extra time, but also gets a very important step done that the primary caregiver generally stresses over.

4) Volunteer to be a chaperon on field trips for your child’s class

You get the whole day to spend with your child. I realize, many of you are saying…but, we have to work! Take the day off. What is more important? This is a special day and memory that you can create with your child and it is above and beyond your usual shared custody arrangement. Once again, check with your ex and see if they are planning on chaperoning for the field trip. If they are not, email the teacher and explain how important it is for you to be there and how much you are looking forward to it. Even if that teacher has enough parents for that event, I guarantee they will always take one more.

5) Attend all school plays and functions your child is in

No, this isn’t one on one time, but you see him or her and more importantly, they see a parent who is there to support them and cheer them on. Often times, parents without primary custody do not attend functions. Sometimes it is because they are not aware of them. But, you are entitled by law to be aware of them. Make sure you’re on the school’s email list so you don’t miss anything. Surprise your child by showing up at their events. These are big moments in your child’s life, and they’ll remember if you were there to support them. Make these moments even more special by being there.

6) During mid-week breaks, offer to take the kids in lieu of a babysitter

If you make your ex think you are doing them a favor, they will be grateful and be more agreeable. It is better than paying a babysitter, trust me. Arrange to pick your child up at the same time they would be going to school and to drop them off at the time when school is normally out. Don’t rock the boat by asking for extra time during these days. If your ex is agreeable this time to you taking your kids, then think about how easy it will be next time, and eventually, it could lead to more time with your children. Keep the big picture in mind.

7) Participate in all birthday parties for your child

Most decrees or parenting plans allow a parent who is not the primary custodian to spend a few hours with their children on their birthdays. You can tell your ex-spouse that you would like to be there for the party, even if it is just to watch them blow out the candles. If they are disagreeable, offer to pay for half of the party to attend. Most will agree when it comes down to the all mighty dollar and they have to spend less.

8) Babysit your kids instead of having a third party babysit

If your former partner has a job, then child care is needed. You can offer to pick them up after your work hours, or even leave work a little early once a week to get them from the babysitter. This way, your ex can save some money on childcare. Plus, it’s always best for kids to be with a parent when possible. Tell your ex that you will bring them home when they get back from work. They will appreciate that they can save some money and the fact that you are not taking advantage, but truly offering to help. If your ex is resistant to it, gently remind them that you are happy to add the first right of refusal into the decree if it is not already in place.

by Lee Block, Post-Divorce Consultant and Author.

After many years of bickering, infidelities, and general unhappiness and upset with each other, Jack and Miranda decided to divorce. To their credit, they are seeing me to make sure their kids are alright.They have no interest in reconciling. They have even less interest in talking about anything except the kids. But despite their inability to make their marriage work, they are both concerned and loving parents of Jason, age 11, and Brittany, age 8.

“I think the kids are mostly relieved,” says Miranda. “Jason has been asking me for years why we don’t just get a divorce.”

“I don’t know,” says Jack. “Jason may tell you that. But Brittany tells me she wishes you would stop bugging me.

“That’s because you spoil her rotten.”

Here we go. Despite their best intentions, these two can’t get to sentence three without finding a reason to fight. It’s my job to keep the emotional temperatures down, to keep blame and shame out of the room, and to instead focus on determining what the kids need and how to support them.Are the kids really alright? Maybe. Here are 4 things I ask divorcing parents to look for and an idea or two for how to deal with each one. Of course, it sometimes takes family counseling. As well as learn some post-divorce parenting tips to settle things down.

4 indicators that the kids may not be as alright as you think:

Number 1. Are the kids siding with one or the other parent?

In the case of Jack and Miranda, their son is protecting his mother. The daughter is dad’s miniature lawyer.
Both parents need to reassure their kids that the divorce is adult business, that they don’t need the kids to intercede, and that the kids can focus on being kids. The children need both parents to encourage them to not take sides and to have a loving relationship with the other parent.

Number 2: Are the kids clinging to each other more?

Sometimes kids lose faith in their parents’ ability to care for them emotionally or even physically. It’s wonderful when siblings can be friends. But, It’s concerning when they turn exclusively to each other for support and help.

Brittany has been going to Jason for comfort, for companionship, and for practical help. She asks him to help her make her lunch for school. She asks him to help her with her homework. It’s crossed the line from good big-brother behavior to Jason becoming more like a third parent. Jason needs to be let off the hook. Brittany really wants her parents to pay more attention to her needs. Mom and Dad can suggest Brittany makes her lunch with one of them. They can tell Jason he has enough of his own homework and they’re happy to help Brittany.

Number 3: Are the kids hanging around the house more and refusing to go places like a friend’s house or a birthday party?

Sometimes children have the idea that if they’re around, their parents won’t fight. They stay close to home to keep things stable.

For example, Brittany goes to playdates, but Jason hasn’t wanted to do much lately. He’s the kind of kid who worries a lot about keeping things peaceful at home. It would help if Jason’s parents told him they appreciate him caring, but they’re working on ways to stop fighting on their own. They could say they hired a counselor to help them, so Jason doesn’t have to worry anymore. Once his parents find new ways to deal with their problems, Jason might believe things will be okay again.

Finally, number 4: Is there a change in how the kids are performing in school or in other activities?

Both over and under achieving sometimes indicate a problem. Some kids try really hard to do everything perfectly to ease their parents’ stress. Some feel like they caused the breakup and try to make up for it by being extra good. Others think being perfect will make things better for mom or dad.

On the other hand, some kids lose interest in school or activities. They might stop hanging out with friends or going to scouts or soccer practice. Sometimes this is because they’re feeling depressed. Other times, it’s a way to shift the focus from their parents’ arguments to their own problems. A counselor can help figure out if the kids’ behavior is related to the divorce and how to help them get back to feeling normal.

Telling the kids to try harder or to take it easy on themselves might not work. They need to see their parents handling things better and being less angry with each other before they can change.

Kids, especially those under 12 or 13, often reflect their parents’ behavior. When parents handle the divorce well, kids are more likely to be okay and feel more protected by their parents. Studies show that how well parents handle the divorce directly affects how well their kids cope. 

For the kids to be alright, the adults need to remember that whatever their differences, their struggles, or their feelings about each other, their kids need them whenever possible to act as a team in being responsive and responsible parents.

by Marie Hartwell-Walker

Divorce is a significant life event that can have a profound impact on children. The disruption of the family unit can lead to a range of emotional, behavioral, and academic challenges. As a parent, it is crucial to provide support both at home and in the school environment to help your child navigate this difficult transition. This article explores strategies to help your child cope with divorce, focusing on emotional support, communication, stability, and collaboration with educators.

Enhancing Communication Between Parents between 2 Houses :

It’s important to follow some key steps to improve communication between parents after a split and lessen the effects on your children.

First, always try to talk to your ex-spouse with respect, especially when your child is around. Don’t argue or say bad things about each other.

Second, make a thorough co-parenting plan that lists holidays, visitation times, and who is responsible for what. Your child will feel stable if you stick to this plan.

Third, make sure that both homes have the same rules and standards when it comes to important things like discipline, education, and health.  If you and the other parent set the same ground rules, it sends a message of stability and security. When parents in a two-home situation make sure their children know what to expect and follow the same rules, it makes everyone feel more secure.

Lastly, let each other know about important events in your child’s life, like school activities or doctor’s appointments, so that both parents stay active and supportive. By following these guidelines, you can build a healthier co-parenting relationship for the benefit of your children.

Keep a Close Eye on Your Children’s Behavior at Home and Act Correctly:

Divorce can make your kids feel down, mad, mixed-up, or scared. They might act out in bad ways, not want to talk to anyone, or even wet the bed again like they used to when they were younger. Schoolwork and friendships might get tougher too.

Here’s how to help: Watch how your child acts. If they’re getting angry or shutting everyone out, be patient and understanding. Don’t yell or punish them hard. Instead, try these things:

• Time-outs: Make them sit alone for a little while to calm down.
• Natural consequences: If they do something wrong, let them face the results. For example, if they forget their homework, they’ll get bad grades.
• Reward systems: Give them treats or praise for good behavior.

Teach your child how to solve problems so they can get used to the new family situation. Show them healthy ways to deal with stress, like you do. By paying attention, giving rewards for good choices, and helping them through tough times, you can be there for your child during this hard time at home.

Tips For Supporting Your Child at School After Divorce:

Talk to the teacher:
If your child is young, talking to their teacher about what’s happening at home and how your child is doing can help. It avoids any confusion and might even get the teacher’s support for your child. Also, remember to update the school on any recent moves by you or your ex, so they have the right way to reach both of you for important school updates

Stay in the loop with an online school calendar:
Keep up with everything from school events to after-school activities and assignments by sharing a digital calendar. By having it online, both parents can easily access it, ensuring everyone stays informed no matter where the child is.

Build a Support Team:
Team up with the school to create a support system for your child. This might mean setting up regular meetings with a counselor or joining groups where kids from divorced families can support each other.

Monitor your kid’s Academic Progress:
Keep an eye on how your child is doing in school. Go to meetings with their teachers and keep tabs on their homework and grades. If you see any problems with how they’re doing, talk to their teachers about it as soon as you can.

Always try Go to parent-teacher meetings together:
Attend as many school events as you can, like school plays, sports days, and parents’ evenings. If your child’s school takes a trip, see if you can help out. Little kids especially love having their mom or dad there, it makes them happy. It’s good for both mom and dad to be involved in school. Going to meetings together lets you both know how your child is doing in school, if there are any problems, and how to fix them.

Encourage your child’s involvement:
Does your child like to do something special, like sports or art? At their new school, see if they have a club or group for that! This will help them feel like they belong and make new friends who like the same things. Ask your child what they want to do this year at school, then see what activities they can join to make it happen!

Think about getting two sets of textbooks:
Moving between homes during school can be stressful for kids. They might forget things they need for school like books, pens, or notebooks. It might make them feel sad or confused. To make things easier, you can pack an extra set of school supplies and textbooks to keep at each house. This way, your child will always have what they need to learn.

You should maintain a consistent routine:
It’s really important to keep a regular schedule for your child, especially if they split their time between both parents’ homes. Having a steady routine in both places helps your child feel secure and understand what to expect.

If things keep changing between homes, it can confuse your child and make them feel frustrated. So, try to stick to the same schedule for things like bedtime, waking up, meals, and homework in both houses. This consistency helps your child feel more stable and comfortable no matter where they are.

Lastly, help your kids learn to talk about divorce:
Your child might find it hard to answer questions like “how was your summer?” because of the divorce. Take time to talk to them about how they can explain the situation to their friends without feeling too uncomfortable.

If your child is seeing a counselor, it’s a good idea to ask the counselor to talk to them about this before the school year begins. This way, they can feel more prepared to handle any questions or conversations about the divorce.

In our dynamic society, the intricate relationship between marriage, divorce, and economic stability profoundly shapes individual lives and communities. While marriage traditionally provides emotional and financial security, divorce can disrupt this stability, leading to economic turmoil for all involved. These dynamics not only impact personal well-being but also have far-reaching societal implications, influencing economic structures and the welfare of future generations. In this article, we’re gonna talk about how getting married, breaking up, and raising kids are all tied up with money stuff.

Impact of Marriage on Economic Stability

Marriage is not just about love; it’s also a strategic alliance for economic stability. When two people join in matrimony, they bring together not only their hearts but also their financial resources. This pooling of incomes and sharing of expenses create a solid foundation for weathering financial storms and building a prosperous future.

Beyond the romantic notions, there are practical benefits to tying the knot. Married couples often enjoy legal and financial advantages, like tax breaks and access to healthcare benefits, which can significantly impact their economic well-being. In times of need, having a spouse can serve as a safety net, providing support and stability.

Research consistently highlights the advantages of stable, two-parent households for children’s economic futures. Growing up with both parents can mean access to more resources, better role modeling of financial responsibility, and a broader network of opportunities. These advantages can set children on a path toward greater economic success in adulthood.

Economic Consequences of Divorce

Conversely, divorce can have significant economic consequences for individuals and families. When a marriage ends, money matters get complicated. Splitting assets can mean less money for both partners, and there are often extra costs like legal fees, alimony, and child support.

For those going through it, suddenly managing on one income can be difficult, especially for parents who now handle all the bills alone.

And it’s not just adults feeling the pinch; kids from divorced families can struggle too. With money stretched thin across two households, they might face things like money problems, unstable housing, and fewer opportunities.

In short we can say, divorce hits hard in more ways than one. It’s not just about hearts breaking; it’s about wallets too. Recognizing these financial challenges is crucial for helping families rebuild after a split.

What’s the Link Between Parenting and Economic Stability?

Taking care of kids and having enough money are both important. They go together to help kids grow up healthy and strong. Here’s why:

Safe and steady homes help kids thrive.

• Kids do best when their home feels safe and steady, like nothing too scary will happen.
• This helps them learn better in school, get along with others, and feel happy.
• When parents and kids get along well, it teaches kids important things like sharing, handling their feelings, and figuring things out.

Money worries can make raising kids harder.

• When parents don’t have enough money, it can be stressful.
• They might have to choose between buying things they need and things that help their kids learn and grow, like school or childcare.
• It can also be harder to afford childcare or other things that can help kids.

Impacts of Irresponsible Parenting on Society

The impacts of irresponsible parenting on society hit home hard for me as a parent coach. I’ve seen firsthand how it strains public resources and social services, driving up healthcare costs and diverting funds to child welfare interventions and the criminal justice system. But it’s not just about dollars and cents; it’s about the toll it takes on our children.

When kids grow up in unstable, neglectful, or abusive environments, the consequences ripple through every aspect of their lives. They’re more likely to struggle with their physical and mental health, fall behind in school, and act out behaviorally. These challenges don’t just disappear with time; they often persist into adulthood, affecting their ability to succeed in education and employment.

What’s even more troubling is how irresponsible parenting perpetuates cycles of poverty and disadvantage, locking families into patterns that are hard to break. It’s like a chain reaction, passing down hardships from one generation to the next.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. By coming together and prioritizing the well-being of our children, we can start to turn the tide. That means supporting families, providing early intervention, and tackling the root causes of these issues, like poverty and social isolation.

Educational Initiatives for Responsible Parenting

Learning to be an ideal parent is not easy all the time. That’s why there are lots of free resources available online to help parents. You can also keep the 2houses parenting app to your phone. You’ll learn:

• How kids grow and learn at different ages.
• Ways to handle tough situations without yelling.
• How to talk to your kids so they listen to you.

By learning these things, you can build a strong, happy relationship with your child. This helps them grow up healthy and smart in all ways: mind, feelings, and social skills.

Remember, every family is different. If you ever need help, don’t wait to ask an expert. 2houses.com is a great place to start, with tons of parenting tips all in one spot. Our goal? To help every child be happy and healthy!

The holidays are a time of joy, but for divorcing couples, they can be a minefield of emotions.  The stress of navigating traditions, co-parenting, and personal grief can be overwhelming, especially when children are involved. 

Stacy Phillips, a top divorce lawyer in Los Angeles and the author of “Divorce: It’s All About Control – How To Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars,” gives the following 10 helpful tips to get through this challenging period with grace and empathy.

1. Seek Therapy for Emotional Support:

The holiday season can serve as a painful reminder when a family splits up. You might feel lonely, sad, or stressed. You can take help from a therapist, they can listen to you and help you deal with these feelings. They can also teach you ways to cope and feel better during the holidays and how to enjoy holidays and parenting after divorce.

2. Avoid Competitiveness:

In the aftermath of a divorce, the temptation to engage in a “one-upsmanship” game with your ex-spouse may arise, especially concerning gifts for the children. Trying to show off with big gifts can cause more problems and hard feelings. Instead, focus on giving your kids love, kindness, and spending time with them. That’s what really matters and helps them feel safe and happy.

3. Practice Flexibility with Visitation Schedules:

Divorce often necessitates adjustments to established routines, especially around the holidays. You can use a co-parenting app that can help you to maintain routine. Being flexible with your visiting times shows you put your kids first and want them to have fun with both mom and dad. When you both parents work together and compromise, you’ll have less arguments and make happy memories for your kids.

4. Include New Partners in Celebrations:

It can be difficult to get along with your ex’s new girlfriend or boyfriend. Even if you aren’t happy about it, being friendly to them can benefit everyone. If you show that you accept them, your children will learn to do the same. This allows everyone to be friends and have fun together at celebrations.

5. Engage in Acts of Kindness:

Instead of worrying about your problems after divorce, try doing good things for others. This can help you feel better during the holidays when you’re feeling stressed or sad. It’s good to get kids involved too.When your children begin to help others, such as by contributing to a charity, they learn to care about people and to be grateful for what they have. You can do things like help out at a shelter or give money to a good cause. Doing these things shows that you care about others and want to help make the world a better place. These acts of kindness can also bring you a sense of inner peace during a challenging time like a divorce.

6. Seek Support from Friends and Family:

Surrounding yourself with loved ones during the holidays can create a warm and supportive environment for you and your children. Whether it’s sharing cherished meals or enjoying festive gatherings, these relationships give you comfort, companionship, and a strong sense of belonging. When you rely on your loved ones, it becomes simpler to deal with co-parenting after a divorce.

7. Practice Restraint in Communication:

Effective communication is essential in maintaining a harmonious co-parenting relationship, especially during emotionally charged moments. When things start to get heated, it’s really important to hold back and not say mean stuff to your ex. Acting polite and showing respect sets a good example and helps keep conversations positive. It also makes problem solving easier and keeps your children from getting upset for no reason.

8. Teach the True Meaning of the Holidays:

When you’re busy getting ready for the holidays, it’s important to teach your kids about what the season is really about. Whether it’s being nice to others, saying thank you, or taking time to think, parents can show their kids how to care for others, be generous, and have empathy. By helping kids understand the true meaning of the holidays, families can make strong connections and create special memories that go beyond just getting stuff.

9. Focus on Harmony and Peace:

No matter what religion or culture you’re from, the main aim of the holidays is to make peace and get along. As a divorced parent you can make your kids feel loved and safe by working together and understanding each other. This shows your kids that family is important, even when parents aren’t together anymore.

10. Plan for the Future:

The holidays are over? No, it never ends. There’s still lots to look forward to! Talk to your kids about what they want to do in the future.

This could be fun things for the weekend, or even things they want to achieve in the new year. When you plan together, your kids will feel excited and like they have a say. This also makes your family closer.

So think happy thoughts about what’s coming next, and get ready to have some fun together!

Parenting before and after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges and raising happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a parent. Here is a six-step formula for pre and post-divorce parenting success.

Step 1: Monitor Your Perceptions

The world is what we perceive it to be. If you perceive yourself to be a victim in your divorce, you will focus on evidence to prove that to be true.

If you instead take your divorce as a life experience to learn from, you will derive many benefits and value from the divorce, no matter how much pain is also involved. You will also accept responsibility for the part you played in the process and be more willing to contemplate new ways to live your life in the future that will bring more positive results.

Sadly, it’s through challenging experiences that we grow and learn the most from life.

Step 2: Practice Respectful Parenting

Getting past your divorce is a small piece of the child-centered divorce puzzle if you are a parent. Working through the challenges of creating successful communication with your ex is a goal that must be worked on continuously. Keep your children in mind before making any decisions related to their well-being and you will stay on course.

Because you and your former spouse will be parenting your children for many years and decades to come, it makes sense to start off on the best possible course. The first step is to develop a respectful relationship with your ex. Remember that he or she is your child’s other parent whom they love. Treat your former spouse with that level of awareness and dignity in all your communication and they are more likely to return the same level of respect to you. Changes may not happen overnight. But with patience and persistence things can and will improve.

Step 3: Learn To Let Go

If you truly want to move on from your divorce, you must learn to let go of negative emotions that hold you hostage. These include anger, resentment, blame, jealousy, hatred and anxiety. Of course, there is a time and place for experiencing those emotions. Feel them; mourn the dream that turned sour. Then make a decision to let them go. Do this for your benefit — not on behalf of your former spouse.

Negative emotions can hold you in limbo and suck the life out of you. You get stuck in a place that’s painful to experience and it makes you unpleasant to be around. For the sake of your children — if not for yourself — decide to let it all go. Determine to move on. It’s not always easy to do, but the contrast of living in your pain is not an easy place to be either. Which state would you prefer?

Step 4: Try To Forgive

The big step after letting go of your negative emotions is learning to forgive. This starts with you. Forgive any mistakes you made related to your marriage or divorce. Forgive your poor choices, immaturity or naivety. Acknowledge yourself as someone who is open to personal growth, change and transformation. Feel your worth and start doing things that express self-love.

Next, take the big step to forgive your ex. This does not mean condoning their actions or hurtful behavior. It means you are determined not to let it affect you any longer.

You are cutting the emotional cords that bind you and keep you from enjoying the new possibilities in your life. Behind forgiveness is freedom. Don’t you want to be free of the pain, hurt, insecurity and rage that previously had power over you? Release your past — and be free!

Step 5: Handle Your Conflicts

Disagreements are inevitable between divorced parents from time to time. Develop good communication skills and you will minimize the damage that results.

When a conflict with your ex arises, be a good listener. Most disagreements come about from misunderstanding. Clarify what you heard to make sure that was the intention. Often one of you made an assumption that was erroneous and feelings got hurt.

It’s a good idea to get into the habit of paraphrasing what you think they said and ask for clarity. Apologize if you made an error or omission. Be understanding if your ex made the error. Try not to put them on the defensive or jump to negative conclusions.

Find a middle ground that you both can live with. Trade off getting to “win” the discussion or issue at hand. Agree to disagree if necessary. Learn to move on.

Step 6: Make Time For You

One of the healthiest things you can do in creating a positive attitude is making time for you! This is a gift that pays off on many levels in your life. Think about reinventing yourself in new ways that excite you. Take a yoga class. Pursue a new hobby. Volunteer at a shelter. Start a craft or business. Make time for strolls in nature, exercise and watching your diet. Treat yourself to a message. Indulge when you can.

When you nurture yourself, you can then give your children your total attention when you are with them. During and after divorce your kids need you more than ever. You can’t be there for them if you’re not there for yourself to renew your spirits.

Do the best you can. Take it day by day. If you need help, reach out for it without embarrassment or shame. You’re not alone. And the help you need is out there for you!

After a divorce, dads go through big changes. They go from parenting together to doing it alone. It’s tough, but also a chance to grow. Believe it or not, after a divorce, a dad can become a super dad. Yep, you heard that right. In this article, we’ll explain why and how divorce can turn a dad into a “better dad” or even a super dad.

A dad who is divorced can learn from his past to be a better father in a few ways.

First, he can think about what he did wrong in his marriage and parenting before. This can help him see what he needs to work on. Lots of dads who get divorced make mistakes. For example, they might not manage their time well, not take care of themselves, or not spend enough time with their family. After a divorce, they can learn from these mistakes. They can figure out what they need to do differently to be a good dad and a good family man. Knowing their mistakes can help them make better choices and connect better with their kids.

Divorced Dad focused more on his Personal Growth Through Self-Reflection.

By thinking about their lives (self-reflection), dads can realize what they did well and what they could do better. This can help them control their feelings better (emotional intelligence) so they can stay calm when things are tough. Dealing with more on their own can also make dads more independent and closer to their kids. By learning and getting better, divorced dads can become stronger. They’ll have the skills they need to handle both their own problems and being a dad in a kind and understanding way. This can make the dad-child bond even stronger.

He Prioritizing Quality Time Over Quantity

After a divorce, dads often see their kids in different ways. Before the divorce, some dads might not have spent much time playing with their kids. But after the divorce, if they get to share custody or visit their kids regularly, they often try to make the most of that time. They do more fun things together and get to know their kids even better.

Many dads plan special activities with their kids after a divorce. This helps them build a stronger relationship. A study showed that kids care more about how much fun they have with their dad than just seeing him all the time [Amato & Gilbreth, 1999].

He Knows Better now how to Balance work and family life

Dads after divorce can be great at balancing work and family. They know how important it is to spend quality time with their kids. Even with a busy job, dads can find ways to make time for their children. This special time together helps them build a stronger bond, create fun memories, and show their kids they’re always there for them. Many cases he also looks for flexible work options. This could mean working from home, having flexible hours, or even working part-time. These options can make it easier to manage work and family life, so dads can be more present in their kids’ lives.

Developing effective co-parenting strategies (include co parenting app)

Divorced dads work hard to figure out the best ways to co-parent effectively. They do this by talking clearly with their co-parent, sticking to the same rules and schedules for the kids, and always thinking about what’s best for them. Even when they’re not getting along, they make sure the kids come first. Sometimes they get help from a parenting coach to make a plan for co-parenting. They also use parenting apps like 2houses.com to keep things organized. Divorced parents always focus on what’s good for the kids. They try to solve problems together and make sure the kids are happy and growing well.

Seeking professional help and resources

After divorce with a kid, a father often looks to connect with other dads who’ve gone through the same thing. He might join social media groups made just for dads dealing with divorce to get advice about parenting. These groups can give him helpful tips, advice, and make him feel like part of a team. Sharing his experiences and hearing from other guys who’ve been in his shoes can really make him feel better about himself. He also looks at websites, blogs, and forums online to learn more about parenting after divorce. Sometimes, he even talks to a family coach for advice. All of this helps him be a better dad.