Category: Communication

If you’ve just made the decision to go your separate ways or are currently in the middle of a divorce, being friends with your ex might seem like an impossible task. But studies have shown that co-parents who are able to go beyond basic civility and have open, friendly relationships can make the entire process of divorce and everything that comes after easier on their children. However, this doesn’t mean that learning how to be friends with your ex is easy or something you just naturally know how to do. In this article, we give some tips and strategies on how to set up a friendly relationship from the beginning to help make your co-parenting journey more positive.

Remember Where You’ve Been

When you’re trying to move forward, it’s important to look toward the future, but that doesn’t mean forgetting all about the past as well. One thing that can help you create a more positive friendship with your ex is to consider all of the good things that came out of the relationship. Your children are the biggest thing, but there are likely also others, such as friends that your ex introduced you to or memories of trips or experiences that had a positive effect on your life. 

It can also be helpful to think about what you liked about the other person to begin with. Maybe you loved his sense of humor or you really appreciated the way she was able to look at situations objectively and problem-solve. Keeping these things front of mind when dealing with the other parent can help you remember that this person is more than just an ex and does have qualities that can be positive and helpful in the co-parenting relationship. 

Acknowledge the Grief

While the end of your relationship may have been the best thing for both of you and the children, it’s still a loss, and it’s important to acknowledge that. Nobody likes to feel the sadness, hurt and uncertainty that comes with the end of a relationship, but trying to gloss over it and pretend that everything is OK isn’t healthy and is likely to end up causing problems down the road when all of those pushed-aside feelings finally resurface. 

To truly be friends with your ex, you need to have grieved the end of your romantic relationship so that you can honestly wish them well — even when new significant others come into the picture. It’s important to understand that this takes time, and the longer you were in the relationship, the longer it usually takes to go through the full grieving process. This doesn’t mean that you have to sit and watch sappy movies for weeks on end, but you should focus on being honest with yourself about how you feel, what went wrong, what you’re learning from the experience and how it’s helping you grow moving forward. It can also be helpful to talk to a counselor or other trusted advisor to get an outside perspective. Also, remember that the grieving process isn’t linear. You may feel fine after a couple of months only to be hit by another round a few weeks later. And that’s OK. Just focus on being kind to yourself and open and honest about where you’re at with your feelings to ensure you aren’t ignoring issues or emotions that need to be dealt with.

Define the Boundaries

Boundaries are important in any relationship but especially so when you are trying to turn what was a romantic relationship into a friendship moving forward. Boundaries ensure everyone is on the same page with what your goals are as co-parents and what you want to be able to accomplish together during this season of life focused on your children. Defining these boundaries is the first step. It can also help you make sure that both parties are at a place where they are able to move forward as friends. If one party still has feelings for the other or is still harboring a lot of anger or bitterness over the breakup, it can make a friendship very difficult. 

Consider having a meeting with your ex over coffee so you can discuss your future as co-parents. You might use some of the following points to start off:

• What decisions should we make together?
• What issues are we OK with one person making an executive decision?
• How will we communicate about schedules and issues relating to the children?
• When do you think it’s appropriate to introduce the children to a new significant other?
• If one of us remarries, how will that affect our co-parenting relationship?
• How do you see us celebrating holidays, birthdays and other special events?

It’s important to be honest during these conversations and to leave the door open for future meetings as things progress and the children get older. You may find that something that worked for a while isn’t now and you need to reassess.

Remember that your friendship with your ex doesn’t have to look like someone else’s. Maybe your best friend only talks to her ex when necessary and just waves at pickups and drop-offs, but you would like to go on family vacations together or celebrate holidays as a family. Whatever works for both of you is all that matters. 

Keep Communicating

Once you have had a conversation and have a good idea of what you want things to look like moving forward, it’s important to continue to work on keeping those lines of communication open. You may find that things you thought were going to be OK — like having joint birthday parties — don’t actually work in practice, and it’s perfectly normal for some things to be re-evaluated. You may also find that your co-parenting relationship needs to adapt as the kids get older and start getting more involved in their own lives or have more input into decisions. 

Some families find that scheduling regular check-in style meetings works for them to ensure any issues that come up are dealt with early on instead of pushed to the side and allowed to fester into major problems. Others prefer to just communicate regularly through messages like the tools built in to the 2houses app and address things as they come up. It may take some trial and error to find a system that works for your specific situation.

Don’t Forget the Kids

While it’s always a positive thing for parents to work on their relationship as friends, you’ll need to be aware of how it may look to your children. Divorce is difficult for children no matter the circumstances, and many kids fantasize about the parents getting back together. It’s easy for children to mistake your efforts to get along as friends and put the past behind you as evidence that you are patching things up and might be able to rekindle the romantic relationship. 

While you may not be able to get your children to give up the fantasy of their parents together entirely, letting them know that the two of you are going to be working on your friendship and trying to be more positive in your relationship can help frame things better. For example, if you are planning a family vacation together, you might let your children know that you’ve decided to go on vacation together to save money, but that you’ll have separate rooms. 

Being honest with your children and ensuring that they feel comfortable coming to you with questions or concerns can also help. Consider the following example: You start dating and find someone where things are progressing enough to introduce them to the children. You do, but your child is instantly negative and starts yelling and crying and throwing a tantrum. It may be that this new person arriving on the scene seems like a threat to that fantasy of the parents getting back together. If your child is able to discuss this with you openly and honestly, you can deal with it head on and explain that while you understand why they would like that, it just isn’t going to happen and focusing on the future is the best course of action.

Creating a friendship with your ex can be a very positive and rewarding experience, but it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s important to be realistic in your expectations — and the timeline for them to happen — and remember that it’s going to be hard work at times. However, that work is almost always worth it when it comes to the positive effect it can have on your children and how they weather separation and divorce. 
To find out more about how you can make the co-parenting journey easy, check out all the features 2houses has to offer and our blog on topics specifically for divorced parents.

Watching divorce movies together is an excellent way to broach a topic as potentially fraught as parental separation. Children understand the world from a simple but incredibly emotional perspective, and media can help them to make sense of what’s going on in their lives. The most important way you can help kids understand the separation process is through positive, healthy communication.

It’s useful for children to see characters speak openly about their feelings and effectively resolve challenging emotions in a film. In addition to setting a good example, it’s usually much easier to encourage a teenager or tween to be open about their feelings in an indirect way. You can ask them how they perceive what various people in the story are going for and get a solid understanding of how they feel from their insights. 

Subtle Ways Divorce Affects Children

Divorce affects each child differently, with some seeming to find it easy to adapt to the changes and others showing significant signs of stress. Bear in mind that the child who appears to be coping is still likely to be experiencing negative emotions. In most cases, these kids have learned to mask how they feel — either to protect themselves or other people. If you’re struggling to get your kid to express their feelings, watching divorce movies can be a smart way to find out where their head’s at. 

Age plays a crucial role in determining how the child is likely to respond, with teenagers often being the most varied and challenging in their responses. As an adult, it’s your responsibility to maintain a routine in the home and set healthy boundaries.

• Infants: Young children often find it hard to understand the changes that occur after divorce. Parental separation when a child is this age can instill unhelpful beliefs that persist throughout their life. They might worry that they’re to blame for the situation. There’s also the potential fear that if parents can stop loving each other, they could stop loving them. Parents of divorced children must speak openly about these issues and provide endless reassurance, comfort, and love. 
• Grade School Kids: Grade school children are also prone to blaming themselves for the situation. However, because they can communicate better than young children, it’s easier to comfort them. Never assume that your child is okay because they aren’t displaying signs of distress. It’s essential to teach them to open up about how they feel so they learn to cope with their feelings constructively.  
• Teenagers: Expect them to let off steam — their hormones are running wild — and be there to comfort them when they need it. Teenagers can become angry, upset, vicious, and blame one or both parents for the situation. Accept that requests for hugs are likely to be met with squirms and frowns and celebrate positive events. Reassure them that just like all painful emotions, time will be the most effective healer and never deny their experiences.

Divorce brings about astronomical changes to daily life that can feel catastrophic — just remember, it’s not the end of the world. It’s an opportunity to make life even better for you and your child. By approaching the situation with a positive mindset, you’ll help your child to cope with divorce. 

How Can I Help My Children to Cope With Divorce?

The other most effective way to guide your child through this tough time is by finding out how they feel and talking to them about it. Teenagers, in particular, are notoriously difficult to pin down for an in-depth discussion about their internal worlds. They’ll roll their eyes and rarely show appreciation, but it’s still vital that you comfort them and reassure them!  

Never Unload Your Feelings Onto Them

Since it’s your responsibility to provide them stability, you must set healthy boundaries. Divorce is difficult for a child and they need you to be strong now more than ever.

Try always to put them first and never unload your emotions onto them. If you put the burden of your mental health onto your child, they’re likely to repress their feelings and prioritize how you feel instead. You must make it clear that they are the priority and focus your efforts on ensuring they’re meeting their obligations, and you’re meeting yours. Seek advice from family, friends, or a counselor, but never your children — even teenagers.  

Top 10 Divorce Movies for Children

This list of 10 movies gives parents of kids of all ages (and with all kinds of taste) a few ideas of titles that could help children understand divorce.  

1. Night at the Museum (2006)

In Night at the Museum (2006), Ben Stiller plays a divorced father called Larry, who needs to get a job to provide for his son and set a better example to him. The ordinary gig he takes as a security guard at a museum turns out to be extraordinary, as the exhibits come to life and night. All the messages, such as encouraging reading and visiting museums, are positive and constructive. 

Watching a film like this can children as young as seven about divorce by showing them their situation reflected on-screen. Kids don’t like to feel like they’re strange. So, knowing the separation isn’t a result of something being uniquely and individually wrong with them can be incredibly reassuring. 

2. Wilderness Love (2013)

This is a tremendous heartfelt rom-com that explores the theme of parental separation and its effect on children to watch with teenagers. In the story, Mom seems to have found love, but Dad is struggling, and the kids want to give him a helping hand. When the three children sense an opportunity to reunite their parents, they grab it. 

Wilderness Love (2013) gives adults the starting point for an in-depth discussion. You can use the film as a starting point to find out how your child feels about divorce and reconciliation. If they have any misconceptions, you can gently guide them towards the truth.  

3. The Break Up (2006)

The Break Up (2006) is a hilarious rom-com starring Jennifer Aniston. While children aren’t involved, the film explores the financial side of divorce and other films that might be useful for teenagers. This one isn’t for little kids, but it could get help older children develop their understanding of divorce.  

4. Stepmom (1998)

Teenage girls usually love watching rom-coms with their mothers — and so do a lot of teenage boys, secretly! Stepmom (1998) is an excellent weepy movie with Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon. It explores themes of death and divorce, but perhaps not in the most realistic way. That’s a great way to start a conversation with a teenager: ask them if they think the film is realistic and if they’ve seen any better examples on-screen. 

5. Boyhood (2014)

Boyhood (2014) is a thought-provoking drama that teens with discerning taste are likely to be impressed by. Themes are dealt with maturely and philosophically, posing questions about stepfamilies and overcoming hardships such as abuse and addiction. It’s moving and provides some challenging talking points — but difficult conversations are the most important ones to have.  

6. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Children’s classic, Mrs. Doubtfire (1993), stars Robin Williams as the man who dresses as a woman so he can see his kids more frequently. It approaches the subject of divorce sensitively while also making light of it. Laughter is another great tool of communication you can impart to your children to help them cope.  

7. The Squid and the Whale (2005)

Indie kids out there of all ages will find The Squid and the Whale (2005) enchanting and deeply insightful. It shows a couple’s divorce from the perspective of the sons as they learn about when a relationship falls apart. It’s a hard-hitting film that could help a divorced parent to bond with their older teenage children.  

8. The Parent Trap (1999)

There’s an old version of this film and a slightly less old version! Modern kids are more likely to relate to the characters in The Parent Trap (1999). It’s a great film for kids of all ages to watch so they can see children of divorced parents depicted in the media. You can ask questions about the film or get them to do a video or written review of it. This way, you’ll get subtle signs about what they feel, even from the most emotionally reserved child.

9. What Maisie Knew (2013)

What Maisie Knew (2013) tells the tale of a family going through a bitter divorce, with a particular focus on how it’s affected the children. Whatever age they were when you went through the divorce, watch this with your child once they become a teenager. It’s emotionally challenging but can start deeply meaningful conversations. 

10. Matilda (1996)

A film like Matilda (1996) doesn’t depict a divorced family — it shows a different kind of dysfunctional family. This movie can help you to teach a child that sometimes children benefit from their parents being separated. It also shows them that parents being together doesn’t automatically bring happiness to a family.

Improve Your Family Life Today

Watching divorce movies with your kids can be a good starting point for engaging them in a discussion about how they feel. This is so important because communication is the most useful skill you can teach your child in a challenging emotional situation.

Download the 2houses app today to help you and your spouse get organized so you can both do the best for your children. 

We’ve all heard the infamous, albeit crude, divorce statistics in the US. 

While divorce may be more common than we’d like, there’s something else those ex-couples have in common: getting divorced isn’t easy for any of them. In fact, it’s downright challenging and complicated—whether you’re splitting amicably or not. Unfortunately, many couples go through it, but that also means there’s a lot of insight into how to get through it more seamlessly.

For example, in this article, we provide a list of don’ts for those going through the harrowing divorce process. By observing and practicing these suggested guidelines, you can perhaps make your divorce smoother, allowing you and your ex-spouse to reach the other side with respect, dignity, and integrity. 

Keep reading for advice about habits and actions to avoid at all costs when getting divorced.

1. Be Honest and Transparent

Now is not the time to lie or be vindictive, however tempting it may be.

In fact, lying about certain things like money, assets, or even debts, could be detrimental to your situation. You could potentially get charged with being in contempt of court if you knowingly do something like hiding assets or purchases or rack up credit card debt on your joint account. These actions are illegal.

Be honest about what you have, and try to avoid the tit-for-tat back-and-forth.

Rather than focusing on the little things, use your energy to focus on what matters—the more significant concerns like your home, your will, your children. At the end of the day, it won’t matter who ends up with the CD collection; it’ll matter that you came out free of legal charges.

2. Don’t Badmouth Your Ex-Spouse to the Kids

This action is bad for you, your ex-spouse, and especially your children.

Getting divorced is no easy thing for families. Kids are confused, scared, and resistant to the change that inevitably comes when their parents split. Avoid making it worse by badmouthing your spouse and forcing them to essentially choose sides.

Your children are human beings—not pawns in your divorce. Whenever you’re upset or angry, talk to someone like your attorney rather than your kids. The chances are that later, you’ll regret having said whatever you did anyway.

3. Try to Settle out of Court

Think getting divorced is cheap? Think again.

On average, divorces cost about $15,000 per person. This cost includes legal fees such as hiring an attorney, any court costs, a tax advisor, a child custody evaluator, and more. The factors that affect this cost are things like whether your divorce is contested or not, whether you have to navigate child custody, and whether there’s also alimony (among other factors).

You may be hesitant to hire a mediator, but it may be worth your time and money. If you can settle outside of court, you’ll be able to save yourself a lot of trouble, and especially the financial hit. If possible, try to do as much as you can outside of a courtroom.

Mediation can solve both small and large problems, and it gives you a voice. Additionally, without the litigation, intervention is typically much faster, allowing you and your ex-spouse to start moving on sooner. And of course, the costs are lower, making mediation a more affordable option for many.

Another bonus is that instead of allowing a lawyer to speak for you, you can speak for yourself. 

Of course, if you and your ex-spouse have more complicated problems, such as an uncontested divorce, incidents of abuse, or difficulties coming to a custody agreement, you’ll likely need to hire an attorney. The point here is to solve as much as you can outside of the courtroom, remembering that it’s not your personal space to hash out battles.

4. Consider Your Divorce Like a Business Transaction

It may sound impersonal, but that’s the point!

If you’re undergoing the divorce process in a high emotional state, you’ll be more likely to do things you regret (like setting your ex-spouse’s clothes on fire).

But if you treat the situation like it’s a business transaction, that framework may allow you to approach situations in a calm, respectful demeanor. Using this mindset, you’ll be able to approach every moment like a clear-headed adult.

5. Avoid Telling the World You’re Getting Divorced

Stay off social media!

Okay, fine—you can still be in communication with friends and family on Facebook, and you can still post your food photos on Instagram. The main thing here is to avoid using social media to vent about your divorce online. This point is similar to not badmouthing your ex-spouse to your children—don’t do it to your audience of friends and family, either.

Avoid this not only because you’ll likely regret your actions later, but because this could be used as evidence against you. Similarly, any texts you send to your spouse can be used as evidence. Keep your words calm and respectful, or you could end up seeing your Facebook post blown up on slides in the courtroom.

Plus, you just don’t need the advice of your friends and family. Everyone’s divorce is different. The only people who understand your divorce are you and your ex-spouse.

6. Stop Putting Money Into Joint Accounts

This one may seem obvious, but it could be an overlooked action that winds up being a point of contention.

Once you understand that getting divorced is in your future, it’s time to separate your accounts. Set up your own bank account and begin putting your money there. You don’t want to worry about your ex-spouse taking from your joint account, or racking up a debt on your account, leaving you momentarily dry. 

Advice your ex-spouse to do the same. In fact, anything that’s joint, separate it.

7. Don’t Compare Your Divorce to Others’ Divorces 

If your parents got divorced in the ’70s or even your best friend in recent times, it still wouldn’t be anything like your divorce.

And, taking advice from someone who doesn’t fully understand your situation can be detrimental to your mindset.

This point is true for everything—any future relationships, your relationship with your parents, your children. Each one-on-one relationship is different from the next. Use your gut, your intuition, and your knowledge of the situation to navigate it smartly.

8. Stopping Communication With Your Ex Isn’t Always the Answer

Cutting ties isn’t always the answer unless of course, you’re dealing with an abusive ex-partner.

If not, however, communication is vital for navigating the divorce process.

Try to stay on the same page—this is what will allow you to have successful mediation sessions or come to custody agreements. As long as you each have boundaries about when to talk, and how to talk to each other, try not to stop communication entirely. This doesn’t mean you have to stay friends if it’s uncomfortable, but rather, approaching this in a business-like fashion, as we mentioned earlier.

9. Avoid Jumping Into a Fling or Another Relationship

It may feel like the right answer—get over your ex by getting with someone else, right?

Unfortunately, while it may feel good at the moment, it’s likely not going to feel good later. You need to take the time to process the situation. Additionally, self-care is essential at this time.

What are your hobbies? What do you love to do? What makes you feel alive?

Take this time to fall back into a relationship with yourself. Learn what it feels like to prioritize you and your well-being above all else. Focus on making yourself happy as much as possible during this time, practicing anything that makes you feel good.

10. Try to Resist Playing the Blame Game

This point is similar to the one about treating this like a business transaction.

Unless under extenuating circumstances, such as your ex-spouse was abusive, then it helps to remember that at one point, you two once loved each other. In reality, relationships can fall apart—they don’t always last. No one has to be to blame in this situation. 

Rather, you’re two people who simply aren’t happy together anymore. You would both benefit from living separate lives. Once you accept this fact, it’ll be easier to overcome the hardship and begin to move on.

Most of All, Don’t Make This More Difficult Than It Has to Be

Getting divorced is hard enough without saying or doing things you’ll regret, using the children as pawns, or undergoing expensive court proceedings.

As difficult as it may be, try to remember the love you once had for this person, and when possible, use compassion. Remember, this is hard for your ex-spouse, too! If you can treat them with respect, they’ll be more likely to reciprocate. Avoid making this already trying situation more challenging than it needs to be.

For more insight into navigating the divorce process, keep reading the 2houses blog.

On Mother’s Day, women around the world are recognized for their child-raising efforts; but sadly, stepmoms are hardly acknowledged. 

Step-parents understand they’re not the primary parent; however, most do want others to respect them. After all, step-parents face many challenges. From bad relationships with biological moms to lack of reciprocated affection, it can be difficult. 

That’s why it’s important to celebrate Mother’s Day every year. It’s essential to feel appreciated and recognized.  

With this guide, you can learn how to celebrate Mother’s Day in your own way. Whether that means kicking back in your favorite PJ’s or laying on the beach, you can make your own special memories. 

Now, are you ready to dive in? Here’s an in-depth look at how to celebrate as a stepmom: 

Enjoy the Day with No Expectations From Your Stepkids

As a stepmom, Mother’s Day can be challenging since it can remind you of everything you do but receive little to no recognition. If your stepchildren do indeed show their appreciation, it can be, at times, awkward for their insincere efforts. 

It’s okay to want some kind of praise, after all, you deserve it. However, that doesn’t mean you’ll always receive a present or a card from your stepkids. Sometimes children feel that it dishonors their mother to celebrate their stepmom.  

That’s why it’s best to have no expectations for your stepkids on Mother’s Day. If a child presents you with a hand-written card or a gift of some kind, then that’s amazing! Embrace their offering and thank them for their praise. 

However, if they don’t, try not to take it personally. Instead, remind yourself that the most important gift is not a material one but rather having the privilege to shape a child’s life. 

Husbands Carry the Day

For many stepmoms, the only person who will truly celebrate Mother’s Day is their husband. However, try not to fret about the missed presents, cards, or words of recognition. 

This actually allows you to create your own special day. A day where you can reconnect with your husband, make long-lasting memories, and even feel pampered if you want. By creating your own special day, you can start new traditions and allow your husband to show you just how much he appreciates you. 

It’s important, however, to set the expectations-that way you’re not disappointed or let down.

Tell your spouse if you want flowers or a card in addition to a planned getaway or instead of. Let him know, and he’ll make sure to deliver to the best of his abilities. 

How to Celebrate 

Planning your own celebration is the best. That way, you can select a day that fits within your schedule. You can pick a planned getaway the day before Mother’s Day or enjoy a nice trip on the day itself. 

Just remember to plan around events that might include your kid’s biological parent. Now to get you started here are a few ideas: 

Spend a Weekend at a Bed and Breakfast 

Need some alone time with your hubby? Stay at a cozy B&B for the weekend, and reminisce about the good times your family has had. Enjoy not worrying about chores, early morning wake up calls, or the stresses of work. 

Just relax and enjoy one another’s company. However, wait until you hear the best part you can wake up on Sunday morning to a mouthwatering breakfast that you and your spouse didn’t have to cook! Now, don’t feel guilty for asking for a little time away from the kids.

In fact, in order to be the best mom, you have to take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. So if you want to be whisked away to a cute B&B and get treated to a restful sleep, let your husband know. Your motherhood efforts need to be acknowledged and recognized accordingly. 

Spend the Day at a Nearby Beach   

As a more affordable option, you can spend a day at the beach. You can sunbathe, swim in the ocean, or play a beach sport. Perhaps even have a picnic on the cozy white sand with your husband too. 

Try not to nitpick on how you’re alike or unlike from your kid’s biological mother. During Mother’s Day, that can be hard to refrain from; however, it’s important to enjoy the moment and focus on you and your stepkids. 

One way you can do that is to set goals with your husband to help you become better connected with your stepfamily. For example, you can start planning family movie nights, weekly game nights, or even family trips. 

Relax with a Trip to the Spa 

Who said being a stepmom isn’t difficult, that’s why a trip to the spa is definitely deserved. You can delight in treatments like a hot stone massage, a facial, or enjoy additional services like hair styling. 

But why go for the basics when you can have specialty treatments? Ask about the Thai massage, mud wrap, or inquire about the salt scrub body treatments. While they may be increased in price, they have incredible health benefits and will make your stay feel even more posh. 

If you don’t want to go alone, enlist one of your friends or even ask your hubby to join you. You can get separate treatments or enjoy a couple’s massage. With a full day of being pampered, you’ll feel relaxed and rejuvenated. 

Find Another Stepmom and Go out for Brunch 

Stepmoms understand navigating Mother’s Day is challenging, so what better way to celebrate than together. You can enjoy some gal time at your favorite brunch cafe or dine at a local eatery. Indulge in some wine and chocolate or simply have a fancy meal. 

Whether or not you want to bring gifts depends on each other’s personality. However, if you want to, you can buy a stepmom themed wine glass, a pair of cozy socks, or a scented candle.  

Just make sure to catch up on the latest family gossip and the best tidbits of married life. That way, you can support one another through this time. Just remember to remind one other that while it might not seem like it, you are valued for all that you do. 

Go to a Fancy Restaurant  

It’s one of the more cliché options on this list, but there’s nothing like eating a good meal. Make a reservation for one of your favorite restaurants or be adventurous and try something new. 

Enjoy a cocktail or two followed by an appetizer, delicious entree, and don’t forget about the dessert! Don’t try and justify each pricey decision; instead, treat yourself. You’ve cooked, cleaned, and helped tirelessly with every decision. 

Now, it’s time for you to enjoy a nice meal. However, don’t just go out in your work clothes; instead, dress up and make a night of the occasion. Go for a stroll after dinner and people watch or drive around town and talk endlessly. 

Spend the Day at Home   

Sometimes the best celebration is simply sleeping in. By staying home, you can do whatever you want when you want. Don’t worry about putting the laundry in the dryer or washing the dishes, instead take the day off. 

Binge-watch, your favorite TV show, eat breakfast in bed or even play your favorite board game. Allow yourself to have some much needed R&R. You’ll find you’ll feel better rested in the morning. 

Take a Couples Class   

Couple classes are perfect for strengthening a healthy relationship. In fact, they’re great for you and your hubby to explore new hobbies together. You can try painting, dancing, or even a mixology class. All classes increase trust and boost communication. 

Learning something new is not only fun, but it can bring people together and keep relationships fresh and happy. That way, when you go back to your usual routine, you can embrace what you learned, whether that be how to make a delicious margarita or slow dance to your favorite song. 

Stepmoms, Are You Ready for a Fun Celebration?  

Step-parents face many challenges over the years, from disputes with biological moms to lack of affection from kids, being a stepmom is no easy feat. However, no stepmom should feel left out on Mother’s Day. That’s why you should celebrate yourself with your hubby. 

Go out and have yourself a wonderful dinner or a spa getaway. Pamper yourself, and acknowledge that you are valued. 

For more information about Mother’s Day for stepmoms, contact 2houses or register today!

So you’re committed to an amicable divorce. Congratulations! Maintaining a friendly relationship with someone who used to be your spouse is never easy. It’s worth doing, especially when there are kids involved. No matter your intentions, an amicable divorce can turn nasty quickly – usually due to poor communication. Keep your split civil with these simple tips.

Put Things in Writing

Even when things are amicable, divorce can cause a lot of tension. When your emotions are raw, it’s too easy to say something cruel or nasty to your ex without thinking it through. Relying a lot on written communication is one way to minimize the chance of saying something you regret.

Make an agreement to communicate regularly by email, especially about sensitive topics. This gives you both a chance to express everything you want to say without interrupting each other. It might also be easier to be kind to each other in writing than it is in person.

For example, maybe you really disagree about the holiday schedule. Write out a full proposal about what you want to happen and why you think it’s fair. Include some language about how you know you’re both motivated to spend time with the kids, and that you want to make the holiday schedule work for all of you. Reread the email before sending it to make sure it’s calm and polite. Your ex can process everything you said before responding.

Schedule Checkins

When you were married, you crossed paths every day. It was easy to exchange information and compare notes about something going on with the kids. Now that you’re divorced, staying on the same page takes real effort. Things that you should remember to tell your ex could slip your mind, and vice versa. Then the blame game starts.

That’s why it’s so useful to schedule regular just-because checkins. These could be weekly phone calls, or biweekly emails, or whatever works for your family and your needs. Use each checkin as a time to touch base about any issues going on with the kids, and to look ahead to any challenges that might be coming up for them. Even better, meet up in a neutral place like a coffee shop and talk face-to-face so your kids know you can still be friendly.

Be Honest With the Kids

While you’re focused on having good communication with your ex, don’t forget about communicating with the kids. Having an amicable divorce is great for children in a lot of ways. They’re spared the fighting and tension that kids of nasty divorces live through. But watching their parents go through an amicable divorce can be really confusing for kids, too. If Mom and Dad get along so well, why are they getting divorced? Is it my fault? And if they’re still friends, can I get them back together?

As you work on communication with your ex, make sure to do regular checkins with the children, too. Encourage them to ask any questions they have. Talk about how you and your ex are still family, but you can’t live as spouses anymore, and that’s okay.

Have a Place to Vent

You got divorced for a reason. Even if it’s amicable, you’ll have plenty of low and frustrating moments while dealing with your ex. They might drive you absolutely crazy. In those worst moments, yelling at your co-parent would feel great. They might even deserve it! But in such an intense situation, just one fight could be destructive. It’s not worth ruining your treaty with your spouse just because it feels good to tell them off.

In order to maintain good communication with your ex, you have to have somewhere else to go with your negative feelings about the situation. It could be a friend who is always willing to listen to you talk, or a therapist or another type of counselor. A support group for people going through a divorce is another option. If all else fails, write or draw about your feelings in a journal – anything to keep you from exploding on your ex or kids.