Category: Health

It’s no secret that we can never truly know how our children will mature into adults. As parents, we like to think we have a solid grasp on who they are as people, but deep down, we understand that the adult world will often shape our children in ways out of our control.

Much of our effort as parents is focused on the time we do have control over, specifically our child’s formative years. As these years will shape a considerable amount of our child’s demeanour throughout their adult life.

Sadly, a divorce or separation can have a profound effect on a child’s growth. Research has shown that a wide range of behavioural, emotional, and even philosophical changes caused by a divorce or separation can shape children in their adult years.

Today we’ll be exploring those changes, and specifically outlining what this may mean for the adult your child will one day become.

Outcomes of Divorce or Separation: By Age Group

Depending on the age of your child when the divorce or separation happens, the effects can differ. We’ve explored these effects in detail, across our other in-depth articles on the subject. For a better understanding, we recommend you also read those.

Today we’ll be taking a broad-stroke look at how each age group responds to divorce. Providing you with a foundational understanding of what your child may be going through.

Then, we’ll discuss how these effects can manifest in developmental and growth outcomes for your child as an adult.

Birth to 18 Months

Although this may come as a surprise, divorce or separation can have an effect as early as birth. Infants may sense a conflict between their parents and in the house, but they are unable to comprehend why it is happening. If the stress persists, babies may exhibit frequent emotional outbursts, and become irritable and clinging, especially around unfamiliar individuals. Additionally, they could regress or have developmental delays.

18 Months to 3 Years Old

Children between the ages of 18 months and 3 years might experience emotional and psychological effects from divorce. A child’s primary link with their parents throughout the toddler years makes any significant upheaval in the home environment challenging to accept and understand. Furthermore, toddlers are egocentric and could believe they are to blame for their parent’s divorce. They may frequently scream and demand more attention than normal, regress and resume thumb-sucking, fight toilet training, grow afraid of being left alone, have difficulty falling asleep, or have difficulties sleeping by themselves at night.

3 to 6 Years Old

Divorce is a challenging topic for kids between the ages of 3 and 6, mostly due to the terrifying amount of uncertainty it brings. No matter how stressful their home life may be, pre-schoolers do not comprehend the concept of divorce and do not want their parents to split.

Pre-schoolers, like toddlers, could think that they are ultimately to blame for their parent’s divorce. They can feel apprehensive about the future, repress their anger, have unfavourable thoughts or ideas, or have frequent nightmares.

6 to 11 Years Old

Children between the ages of 6 and 11 who are in school may experience emotions of abandonment as a result of divorce. Younger children, particularly those aged 5 to 8, may not comprehend the idea and believe their parents are divorcing them. They can be concerned about losing one of their parents and have fantasies about their parents reconciling. Kids frequently think they can “save” their parents’ union.

Children between the ages of 8 and 11 may hold one parent responsible for the breakup and side with the “good” parent against the “bad.” As they show their rage in many ways, such as by fighting with peers, lashing out at the outside world, or becoming worried, withdrawn, or sad, they may accuse their parents of being cruel or selfish. Some children have physical signs of divorce, such as unsettled stomachs or headaches brought on by stress, as well as fabricated illnesses that cause them to miss school.

The Outcomes Moving into Adult Life

Starting in their teenage years, children will begin to demonstrate many of the psychological effects on their personality, growth, and philosophy, that a divorce or separation may have caused. It’s important to note that it’s no guarantee these effects will take root, but we will be outlining them under the assumption they have.

As outlined in the academic research paper “Children of Divorce:  An Investigation of the Developmental Effects from Infancy Through Adulthood” by Leeann Kot and Holly M. Shoemaker, adults (and teenagers) of divorced parents exhibit a higher likelihood of:

• Depression,
• Anxiety disorders,
• Anger issues,
• Poor communication/social skills, especially with their parents,
• Insomnia,
• Emotional instability or sensitivity,
• Inferiority complex,
• Disillusion with future marriage prospects,
• Poor academic engagement,
• Nihilistic attitude towards relationships in general,
• Anti-social or destructive behaviour.

In Conclusion

Whilst research into children of divorce and their adult development can be daunting, it’s no cause for alarm. Research has reflected time and time again that children with a strong support network, close connection with their parents, and an honest dialogue to discuss what they are feeling, will often overcome these issues early.

There are no guarantees in life, but being there for your child, and educating yourself on what they’re going through, is the most effective step you can take. Never forget, there is no shortage of support out there for you as well.

Making the choice to divorce or separate is never easy, especially when children are involved. It can often feel impossible to gauge how this might affect your child. This can leave you feeling powerless to tackle the problems that may arise.

Thankfully, many studies have been conducted on the sociological effects of divorce on children. Understanding how different children react to and process a separation or divorce can be vital to ensuring your child grows up without any lasting effects on their development.

Today we’ll explore the known sociological effects that affect children with separated or divorced parents. as well as strive to provide helpful ways to manage, support, and understand your child in this difficult time.

Humans As Social Creatures: The Cornerstone to Adolescent Growth

Before we delve into the sociological effects of divorce on children, it’s important to lay a foundation of understanding for humans in general. It’s common for these problems to be isolated into their own little box, ignoring the broader scope of how we all operate.

Humans are social creatures, and children are significantly more reliant on the sociological structures around them than adults. We yearn for connection, protection, and understanding amongst our peers. If we begin to lose these connections, we will often reflect introspectively to find out why.

This phenomenon is responsible for a significant amount of personal growth in all adults.

Yet, what about a child?

Children will respond to a divorce or separation differently, yet they all share one key quality. They suffer a pivotal collapse of a core sociological structure in their lives. They become introspective, yet they are often too young to fully process what this means.

It’s for this reason that the following sociological effects can manifest themselves: 

Difficulty With Academic Engagement

Children who experience their parents’ divorce at a young age will often struggle with academic studies in the future, studies reflect. The core theory behind this has to do with their inability to develop healthy relationships with their peers and teachers.

On the surface, this can express itself in the form of disillusionment. Children will often express no excitement for study and a nihilistic attitude towards what it can offer them. Inside, children will feel as if they can’t connect or succeed after experiencing such a traumatic event so early in their lives.

Sudden Destructive Behaviour

Studies have shown that children who suffer through the divorce of their parents are likely to express themselves through destructive behaviour. For younger children, below the age of ten, this is often seen through trashing their room, fighting their parents physically, or committing a petty crime.

For teenagers, destructive behaviour can often be drug-related, involve violence at school, or involve petty crime as well.

Feelings of Guilt, Anxiety, Pain, and Regret

Immediately following a divorce or separation, children will be feeling a cocktail of emotions. These include acute guilt, anxiety, pain, and regret. While each child will process these differently, studies have shown that for up to a year after the divorce or separation, it can have a negative impact on their social behaviour.

There is no one true answer to how this will present itself. Every child is different. Yet, knowing your child is feeling this range of emotions should help you to approach them in a healthy manner.

The academic studies around this topic reflect one key element that’s helpful. You should not approach this problem with the belief you’ll “solve” it. Instead, simply give your child a healthy medium to express what they’re feeling.

Inferiority Complex

It is extremely common for children to develop an inferiority complex as they mature when a divorce or separation happens early in their lives. The prevailing theory behind the cause of this has to do with the above point. Feelings of guilt, primarily, cause the child to feel that they were the reason for the divorce.

While these feelings are frequently subconscious, they have no bearing on the outcome. This can express itself in their ability to make friends, their academic studies, their teenage love lives, and even how they view their own bodies.

The best approach to tackling this problem is honesty. When your child is old enough to understand, be upfront with why the divorce or separation happened.

Disillusion In Future Marriage Prospects

It is not uncommon for children with divorced parents to have a disillusioned attitude toward marriage in their adult lives. This connection makes sense because they frequently feel as if they’ve seen how marriage can fail and want to avoid heartache.

Studies have also reflected that this can also spill over into how adults with divorced parents operate in the dating world. They often don’t look for deep connections and have trouble opening up enough to make a deep and long-lasting one.

In Conclusion

While this list may make you cringe, it is critical to put all of this information into context. Understanding the issues that your child may face as a result of their parents’ divorce is half the battle. There is no guarantee that your child will suffer from any or all of these sociological issues.

Yet, if they do, you’ll have the understanding and compassion to be there for them. Helping them to understand and process a divorce or separation.

Going through a divorce can cause a lot of stress and make you rethink your entire life. Now that you’re starting your life over, you’ll want to reinvent yourself entirely, ad what better way to start than from your style. Looking back to your wardrobe and all the outfits you either regretted wearing or never had the chance to show off are now in the past. From now on, you’ll become a whole new person aiming to look like a true fashionista, and this is where you need to start.

Wardrobe intervention

Clothes are precious to many of us, but they need to go through a thorough filtering process once you decide to rebuild your persona style. Open your wardrobe, take everything out and start the estimate. Remember that iconic scene from Sex and the City movie, when they’re deciding on all the outfits Carrie should take or leave? That’s what you need too. Put a vote on every piece of clothing and be ruthless. Bring reinforcement and allow your friends to be non-biased. Only keep the pieces that will allow you to create new, improved looks for yourself.

Online research

Once you’ve left with a few items of quality clothes and footwear, it’s time to start looking for inspiration. Do you even know what you’re looking for in your new edition? Start by browsing through fashion magazines and Pinterest. Create a vision board of all the looks that you like. On top of that, don’t forget to search for outfits that compliment your figure. Otherwise, your shopping trip will be too frustrating.

Shop ‘till you drop

Speaking of shopping, get your credit card ready for swiping. Now that you know what you’re looking for, it’s time to put on your comfortable shoes and start raiding the stores. Invest in new and trendy day dresses that will show everyone how strong and confident you are. With a day dress, you’ll radiate sass and class at the same time while feeling fierce too. With a pair of well-tailored jeans and a fitted blazer, you’ll be on you’re a-game every day, no matter the occasion. Accessorize smart and don’t miss out on the opportunity to look your best at work, at home, when shopping or when you’re out enjoying a relaxing weekend afternoon.

Don’t be a slave to trends

Yes, online magazines and Pinterest are endless sources of fashion trends, but no, you shouldn’t succumb to trends by any means. Just because something is trending, doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for everyone (or anyone for that matter). Use the latest fashion trends as an inspiration for what you’ll fashion for yourself. Let the trends guide you and offer a building ground on which you can further upgrade your style.

Wear clothes that fit like a glove

One of the reasons you shouldn’t follow fashion trends at any cost is because some clothes won’t fit you like they fit the models. So, when you start reinventing your style, only invest in clothing items that look like they’ve been made for you. Always try the clothes before you buy them That way, you’ll be sure you’ve got the right size, cut, and colour. No matter how much you like nude tops, if you have fair skin, many nude shades can make you look washed up. Furthermore, not all clothes will fit every body type, so shop according to your figure to always look like a supermodel.

Look for quality instead of quantity

If you have a fixed budget, shop for quality staple pieces. Regardless of what your wardrobe looks like after the intervention, invest in trademark pieces that you can easily mix and match. Quality shirts, leather jackets, pencil skirts and blazers that will last for more than one season are always the best choice. A little black dress and a few more day dresses to make you look like you’re ready for a date will be the best investment that will pay off in the long run. Don’t shop for items on sale just because they’re more affordable now. Think if you’ll ever wear them, and only invest in them if they’re worth it.

Rebuilding your style may seem like a challenge, but it’s actually easier than it appears. All you need to do is declutter the old items and invest in new clothes that will make you look better than ever before. Learn what pieces are worth buying and start your new life with your head up high in those lovely heels.

When going through a divorce, you’re facing a challenging, confusing, time in your life. While you’re working to take care of your family, you must also remember to take care of yourself. With so much uncertainty, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and to let the emotions obscure your perspective on the situation. But, it’s time to start taking back your control and putting yourself first. Give yourself permission to take the time to heal and grow past this challenging event in your life. If you don’t allow yourself the space to do just that, you’ll only hold yourself down to feelings of bitterness and frustration. Here are some tips to help you on your path forward to find optimism and acceptance from a difficult place. 

Grieve the Old

Divorce is a loss and there is a lot of emotion that comes with navigating that loss. This involves grieving and the many ways in which that is felt differs from person to person. It may feel like you have to hold everything together and keep on track, yet, that’s just not feasible. You have to open yourself up to process the emotions that you’re experiencing. Whatever you may be feeling is valid. Try not to fight it or repress it, even if that may feel like a short-term solution; in the long run, it’s only going to cause more harm. 

With that said, feeling your emotions is just the first step because you don’t want them to overrun you. The next step is to talk it out. Talking through your thoughts, along with your mental and emotional state in general, is a way to grow and move forward. Whether it’s a family member, friend, or licensed professional, having someone to help you make sense of what you’re going through and acknowledge it without harboring it will help you to form healthy coping mechanisms.

Accept the Present

The process of grieving is intense and is not linear in any way. It’s not a simple process to come to acceptance, but having that as an underlying goal can guide each day in a positive manner. It’s easy to look back on the situation with a mentality of what you should’ve, could’ve, or would’ve done differently. However, this is not productive or fair to you. At the end of the day, you can only focus on the present and move forward into the future. 

Finding ways to come to terms with your current situation can include recognizing any judgments you have towards yourself and others, identifying the things that you are grateful for presently, and taking note of actions you can take for the future. Getting into the habit of journaling is a great way to work through these ideas, especially ones that draw you back to the past. Anytime you feel a judgment or resentment from the past, write it down to get it out of your head and leave it behind so you are not occupied with these thoughts and you can turn your focus to the future. 

Turn Your Focus Inward

The one constant thing you can take control of in life is yourself and your reactions. In a time when it feels like you’ve lost all control and sense of order, you can look to yourself for a grounding presence. You can explore more about who you are, your feelings, opinions, likes, and dislikes. You can get to know yourself all over again, being able to learn with fewer outside influences. Ultimately, this is a time to define who you are outside of marriage.

This exercise should feel grounding and healing, rather than hyper-critical and defeating. Self-reflection is meant to bolster positive growth and a strong understanding of who you are. Self-awareness and introspection can actually be a very tricky thing if you’re not careful. When you’re taking part in these activities, be cognizant of the ways in which you are talking to yourself, and make sure that you are offering compassion, patience, support, and understanding, the same way you would if it was a loved one.

Look forward to What’s New and Changing

Newness can be scary. Going through a divorce brings about a lot of change, but this doesn’t have to be as concerning as you might think. By reframing your take on this time in your life, you can turn this into something more positive and exciting, with the idea that you can make anything you want out of your new situation. Change is inevitable and constant, but don’t forget you are adaptable and resilient.

Start with making a list of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Then, start checking things off that list! Find ways to spark your joy, creativity, and passion. Look at this as a time to reorganize and redesign whatever you want. One thing you can do is find ways to embrace healthy choices throughout your daily routine, not just for you, but your family too. Something to try would be a new workout class, not only does this benefit your health, but it’s a great way to meet new people. Maybe play around with a new style to find ways to build your confidence and security in this more ambiguous phase in your life. Try to remember the possibilities for you are endless in the best way.

Channel Your Positive Energy

This is not a situation that is going to consistently feel exciting. There are going to be lots of ups and downs, but the best way to move forward is by harnessing the ups and focusing your energy on growth and healing. Luckily, there are so many different ways to channel your energy. Now’s the time to take on a project you’ve been meaning to do or learn something entirely new. Whether it’s a new hobby or just an opportunity to revamp something in your life, find an outlet that brings the passion inside of you to the forefront.

Leaning into your social circle or finding a new community entirely can open you up to new experiences. Whether it’s through close friends or meeting new people through shared interests you are doing new things. Take a step back and think about the things that interest you and have always wanted to try, this is a great starting point to find a community that is similar to you. If you’re an avid reader, you might love to join a book club. Whether it’s local to your area, or you take advantage of online resources, there are numerous ways you can get involved and put yourself out there. Use this time of newfound independence to share the passions that were once kept to yourself with others to find more joy in every day.

Create Peace Within Your Space

The space which surrounds you daily can have a huge impact on your mood and emotions. Your home, especially what was once a shared home, can pack in a lot of memories of loved ones and the past. Sitting in the past as it once was is only going to hold you back. Rather than tiptoe around the shell of the old, it’s time to start bringing in new life. There is so much that can be done to refresh your space that will also allow you to refresh your mindset.

Investing in your space is investing in yourself. Now’s the time to take on the home projects you’ve been waiting to get to and build out the design that truly speaks to you. These projects can be of any size large or small. Whether it’s as simple as repainting a room or a little more involved by breaking out the power tools, this is a moment of empowerment for you to experiment with different styles and decor that inspire you. If you’re still trying to find your personal design style after so much time living in a shared space, lean into transitional pieces while you figure it out. One great project to start with is installing a shiplap accent wall. Shiplap is a popular design element because of how subtle yet versatile it is- it fits into every style of decor without overwhelming your space. As you transition, adapt, and thrive, with the many changes in your life your home will be a reflection of your growth. If you think your style is trending toward farmhouse but in a year or so, you find it’s actually more modern, the shiplap accent will still fit perfectly as you swap out decor. Pair this accent with furniture pieces and other design elements you’ve always wanted and transform your home into a space that reflects not only your personality but brings you peace in this challenging time; a space that should continue to grow with you for the years ahead.

Find What You Want and Go After It

You can’t change the past, but you can look to the future. Maybe this is an unexpected time in your life, but that’s what makes it all the more unique. Now is your time to do whatever feels right for you. Yes, you’re still grieving a relationship that once was, and that will continue to be a part of your journey, but it is certainly not where the story ends. Rather than hold on to any resentment or negativity, continue to move through it as you heal, grow, and learn more about yourself than ever before. Ground yourself in your strength and resilience, and work towards creating a brand new life to fall in love with.

In the last two years, we have all been spending more time indoors than usual. Many people are not used to this kind of lifestyle and find themselves lazy, apathetic, and resorting to unhealthy behavior. However, there is no need to live unhealthily just because you’re stuck inside. You can still get the necessary physical activity, plenty of fresh air and sunlight, and healthy meals. There are various ways you can create a home that inspires healthy habits, so if you’re trying to embrace a healthier lifestyle after divorce, here are some tips to get you on your way.

Get rid of clutter

For starters, it’s not a secret that most of us have too much stuff. Walking into a room that is full of knick knacks that don’t have a designated place, dirty clothes that need to be washed or clean ones that need to be put away, various documents scattered around the place, a pile of dishes that have nowhere to go, and so on can be very stressful and have a huge impact on your mental health. Consider the idea of thoroughly decluttering your space. Go through each of the rooms and see whether you really need everything in there. Set some rules for yourself. For instance, everything that you haven’t used in the last year needs to go. Moreover, if, during this purge, you encounter items that you would not have bought again if you got the chance, toss or donate them. This approach goes for everything from appliances and kitchen tools to clothes and books. Moreover, if you went through a divorce recently and are learning how to live on your own again, it’s vital that you get rid of all the things that belong to your ex. Either return them or give them away. There is no need to have reminders of a negative time in your life lying around the home.

Introduce plenty of natural light

Once your home is free of the clutter that might have been making you anxious to a certain degree, it’s time to shower your home in natural light. This is important as it can improve your circadian rhythm and sleep pattern as well as help you focus and make you happier. With that in mind, if you’re considering a bigger renovation, look into getting bigger windows for most rooms so that the light has no problem coming in. However, a big remodeling is not always a possibility, whether due to financial constraints or as it simply wouldn’t make sense because of where you live. In that case, you want to ensure the windows are not blocked by furniture. Furthermore, get rid of heavy drapes and opt for some light, sheer curtains, or none at all. That way, the light will not be obstructed when coming into your home. That being said, you can still opt for blackout blinds that will ensure no lights from the outside are interrupting your sleep during the night.

Make sure to let the fresh air in

Something that you should keep in mind when it comes to natural light, however, is the fact that you cannot get vitamin D through the rays that penetrate the windows. That means that you should open your windows on a regular basis and bask in some direct sunlight to experience all the benefits of this vitamin, such as lower depression levels. By opening the windows, you are also letting in fresh air into your home, which is another pillar of good health. Regardless of whether you use an air purifier and have proper ventilation, this is something you should do, simply to get rid of various odors, moisture, and contaminants in your home.

Use natural materials

No matter if you’re going for a bigger change or not, using natural materials is of the essence as they allow us to create a bond with nature that we might be missing during these difficult times. These can be implemented in all rooms in one form or another. For instance, you can change the flooring in your home. If you currently have wall-to-wall carpeting in your bedroom, you can consider replacing it with hardwood floors or some similar eco-friendly alternative like bamboo and cork. Then, when it comes to smaller updates, you can introduce some wooden chairs, a wooden bath tray, bamboo toothbrushes, and organic cotton towels.

Opt for the right color palette

Another important aspect of our homes that can easily get overlooked even though it can have a huge effect on our psyche is the color palette that we use. Seeing as how being in nature can help us feel good and boost our mood, it’s a good idea to surround yourself with a nature-inspired color scheme. While the shades you can use abound, you can opt for pastel blues, greens, and yellows. Blues, for instance, are great if you’re looking for some peace and serenity. Green is typically used to enhance focus while yellow can improve your creativity. If you’ve already had some of these colors and are looking to revamp your home after divorce, you can simply opt for white as it can make your space look airy, bright, and larger than it actually is. In addition to painting the walls, which is a cheap and quick transformation, you can also add some accents in the form of art, throw pillows, and rugs.

Bring in plenty of greenery

Besides a nature-inspired color scheme, you can also introduce some actual nature into your home. No matter the conditions you can provide them with, there are certainly a few houseplants that you can add to your living quarters. For example, the jade plant, aloe vera, yucca, money tree, and fiddle-leaf fig all thrive in direct sunlight. On the other hand, if you’re not showered in natural light for the majority of the day, you can turn to spider plants, Swiss cheese plants, Boston ferns, areca palms, cast iron plants, and philodendrons. In case you think houseplants require too much care and you don’t have a green thumb, you can also opt for a bunch of flowers that will keep your home fresh at all times. Look into regularly getting delivered flower bouquets, as that will brighten your living space in no time. Something else you can consider is growing herbs indoors. Everything from mint and basil to oregano and cilantro can succeed in your home.

Layer the lights

When spending plenty of time indoors, it’s also important that you tackle your lighting situation. It’s not uncommon to see rooms with just one source of light. However, this approach can lead to eye strain and headaches, especially if you’re working from home or like to read. With that in mind, you should layer your lights. In addition to the overhead fixture that you probably have in every room, you want to add some other sources. For instance, in the bedroom, a table lamp or a sconce on each side of the bed will make it much more pleasant. On the other hand, the bathroom needs some task lights around the mirror aside from the pendant, chandelier, or recessed light you might already have. The kitchen is another area where you should add a task light as it can prevent accidents while preparing food. Moreover, don’t overlook your living room as floor lamps and table lamps as well as some accent lights can create a cozy atmosphere that’s just right for watching movies and relaxing. Lastly, if you work from home, you need your office area well-illuminated in order to be able to focus on your assignments.

Organize your kitchen to promote healthy eating

A big part of a healthy lifestyle is eating healthily. To encourage this habit, you want to organize your kitchen in the right way. For starters, you want to organize your fridge in such a manner that healthy snacks are highly visible and within reach. You always want to go for fruits and veggies first instead of unhealthy alternatives full of sugar and fat. Use clear containers to have a good overview. Then, you can also have healthy snacks on display on the dining room table or kitchen island. Put out a bowl filled with fruits, granola bars, and nuts and seeds, as then they will be within sight and reach. Staying hydrated is also essential so you want to keep a jug of water and a few glasses on the kitchen island to remind everyone who passes them to have a glass. What is more, if your kids are now living in two homes, it’s essential to introduce them to how your home is organized so that they can also adopt these healthy habits.

When spending plenty of time at home, you want to ensure this space is created so that it supports healthy habits. That means that you should be mindful when choosing the materials and color scheme for your living quarters. Moreover, you want to make sure there is plenty of air and light as well as bring in some nature.

No matter how smoothly and cordially the process goes, divorce is nearly always a heartbreaking struggle. Chances are you have entered the marriage expecting to spend the rest of your life with that partner, even building a home together you can call your own. But since small parts of both of you are likely scattered through that home, reinventing it after divorce can be of great help. It is a productive and healthy way to deal with your emotions and overcome this turbulent period, and here is how you could do just that:

Start by redecorating the bedroom

Your bedroom is likely the one area of your home that reminds you of your ex partner the most. Not only was this a space you decorated together, filling it with certain items that were important to you as a couple, but it was also the place where you were the most intimate, both physically and emotionally.

That is why redecorating your bedroom first is so important, giving you the opportunity to let go of any painful reminders, bitter memories, and anything else that might be holding you back. If you don’t have enough time or money for a full bedroom makeover, keep in mind that even small investments like new bedding and curtains could transform the look of your space and help you feel that much happier.

Attempt to declutter your home

Reminders aren’t only in your bedroom and wardrobe; they can likely be found all around your home. For that reason, decluttering each room can turn out to be quite a liberating experience, allowing you to clean out your space, minimize mess, and let go of any items that remind you of your ex partner.

From their clothes to the wedding gifts you received, consider everything when decluttering your home. You might wish to keep certain items for their practicality or as a nice keepsake of the time you spent together. When it comes to the things you want to remove from your home, it’s recommended to pack them in separate boxes and ask your ex partner if they would like to keep them, in case you are on good terms.

Repaint the walls for brightness

While we often overlook colors, they can have quite a powerful impact on our overall mood. Feelings of discouragement, sadness, and a loss of confidence are all completely normal after divorce, but painting your home in appropriate colors can help to bring back some positivity and optimism you might need.

As colors can affect our emotions, aim for uplifting or relaxing shades. For instance, a soothing blue or calming green can be great hues for creating a relaxing atmosphere, while brighter yellow and orange shades could uplift, energize, and inspire. No matter which color you choose, a fresh coat of pain is bound to transform your space, as well as your state of mind.

Incorporate rugs for warmth

In case you need more comfort and warmth in your space, on the other hand, rugs are the perfect solution. They can easily be incorporated into any room, add more layers and dimension, and tie the whole interior design together, all while giving you that snug and cozy feeling that helps to make a house a home, even if it is now changed.

Consider including stunning berber rugs into your decor when reinventing your home. These rugs are simple and neutral enough to effortlessly complement and elevate any design, while still being soft, fluffy, and warm enough to increase the comfort levels in your space and make you feel happier in your home.

Find your unique design style

Living with another person typically means decorating your home together and finding a design style that suits both of your preferences. But after the divorce, there will no longer be a need for compromise. You will have the freedom to find your own interior style and focus only on what you like and enjoy.

From minimalist spaces that promote peace and relaxation to nature-inspired designs that inspire tranquility, there are a number of different interior design styles you could opt for. The important thing is to choose something you absolutely love, in order to make the home look and feel truly your own.

Include your favorite pieces

Once you’ve found your preferred interior style, you can begin filing your home with pieces that really speak to you. Instead of sleeping in the same bed you’ve shared with your ex partner or allowing their favorite chair to take center stage, don’t be afraid to invest in furniture pieces you truly love.

Then, aim to make those items the focal point of each room, whether that means incorporating a stunning new couch into the living room or a beautiful antique dresser in the bedroom. Apart from helping you to reinvent your space, new furniture items as focal points will also make your home feel more like you.

Use decorations for personality

When redesigning your home after divorce, it’s also important to express yourself through the decor and give it that missing personal touch. Along with new furniture, this also means choosing smaller decor items that speak to you on a personal level and make you feel as if your home is only yours, and not shared with another person.

For example, you can choose large art pieces that inspire you and hang them on accent walls, or even make a gallery wall filled with your favorite photographs of your friends and family. Similarly, you could fill up your shells with attractive vases, books you love, and personal memorabilia, or anything else that makes you feel happy and content when you look at it.

Turn to nature for peacefulness

After the whirlwind of emotions we tend to feel when going through divorce, sometimes all we truly need is to focus on ourselves and our well-being. Plants and greenery can be of great help in this regard, bringing some natural peacefulness and serenity into your home, while effortlessly embellishing it with its beautiful shades as well.

What’s more, plants could also lift your mood and provide your home with cleaner air, thus allowing you to create a healthier and more pleasant space. Whether you go for small succulents, large potted houseplants, or even hanging planters and table arrangements, plants are bound to improve your home in any form.

Evidently, redecorating your home after divorce is quite an important part of the entire healing process. As long as you take it one step at a time, focus on what matters to you the most, and make an effort to create a beautiful space of your own, you can freely embark on a journey throughout the following chapters of your life.

The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale that studies how much stress affects health placed divorce in the second place — the first being taken by the “death of spouse” event. Also known as the Social Readjustment Rating Scale, this tool consists of 43 events deemed stressful enough to cause illness and mental health issues. But why is divorce so gravely stressful?

The Attachment Theory has some answers for this. Developed by a British psychiatrist John Bowlby and further enhanced by his colleague, Mary Ainsworth, this theory was firstly about the child-parent relationship. However, in the ’80s, Cindy Hazan and Philip Shaver expanded the theory to include adult romantic relationships as an attachment process, implying strong psychological and emotional bonds between partners.  

End of relationship and stress

Divorce is emotionally challenging and no matter how maturely the couple deals with this event, it can still be quite stressful. After the divorce, the partners separate from each other, change their lifestyle and habits, move to another place, and continue forward without sharing responsibilities with the other person. It also can affect other relationships in their lives, like with their children, family, friends, and colleagues.

The most stressful of all is grief. Defined as an agonizing loss that overwhelms a person, grief is the reaction to the divorce. Grief can be experienced by both partners, it doesn’t matter who left who. The American Institute of Stress sees grief as psychological trauma and a person needs to have a period of mourning to heal. During this time, a person is in distress and suffers from various conditions because of it, like difficulty sleeping.

Sleep problems after divorce

Losing sleep after a divorce is common, but that makes it far from okay. Sleep is necessary to store memory, boost immunity, repair damage inside the body, and regenerate cells. It’s one of the most important processes that happen in human life, so when it’s disrupted, a person suffers consequences.

Nights are the trickiest time of day after a stressful event, but losing a loved one makes it even harder. You look at that extra space in bed and feel alone, abandoned, and broken, trying to find answers to why is this happening to you and what have you done wrong. If finally, you do fall asleep, your dreams are troubling or you wake up every few minutes, reminded of your predicament.

Ways to improve sleep after divorce

However horrifying it may seem, there is a way out from this situation. It won’t be easy and it may take time, but taking control of your sleep habits is a path to being alright. Here is what you can do to improve sleep after divorce stress and overcome this difficult time.

Seek counseling

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is always a good idea, especially after something as hard as divorce. It helps you to recognize the problems and deal with them so they don’t negatively affect your life anymore. Look for therapists who are specialized to deal with sleep disorders and divorce, since they may have more experience on the matter.

However, remember that this won’t bring resolution overnight. You have to find a therapist that makes you comfortable to open up and talk about the deepest issues. Once you do, you need to make an effort to listen to their advice and be willing to go through uncomfortable stages to be comfortable in your life again.

Take natural sleep aids

A therapist can prescribe you medicines to help you fall asleep or treat depression, anxiety, and any other psychological effect of divorce. If you are still deciding whether to go to a therapist, you can try natural sleep aids. Herbal teas are a common go-to option since some herbs both have a calming and sleeping effect, like chamomile. Lavender and mint are also famous for their relaxing properties, so you can add them to your teapot as well.

Those who are not fans of tea can try drops or tablets made from valerian, hops, and other soothing herbs, or lavender pillow spray. Aromatherapy with scented candles and essential oils has been known to help fall asleep. You can use essential oils in a warm bath or a diffuser but stay away from refreshing scents, like citruses, since they can keep you awake.

People having trouble falling asleep also take melatonin supplements which is a hormone naturally released in the body that controls the sleep-wake cycle. In a man-made variant, you can take it as a pill every night before bed for a short time, although it’s best to consult with your physician first.    

Buy new bedding

Take all the bedding you shared with your partner, throw them away or donate them, and go buy yourself new ones! Getting completely new pillowcases and bed linen is part of your fresh start to go forward and leave the past behind. Even pillows and covers have to go if you are uncomfortable using them.

In case the bed is a problem, you should replace it as well. The key is to remove the space you shared with someone and create a personal space that is your own. That way, you won’t look at their side of a bed as a loss, but you will have the whole bed for yourself. 

Keep the room dark

Being alone in a dark room may seem like the last thing you need when in emotional distress, but it’s one of the best ways to fall asleep. You can have a cup of chamomile tea before bed and use a sleep sound machine when you turn off the lights to help. When there is no light, the body interprets it as a sign it’s time to sleep.

For this reason, having electronic devices that emit light in your bedroom is also not a good idea. If you do have to keep your phone inside the room, avoid putting it on the nightstand and cover your eyes with a sleeping mask. Moreover, no TV, smartphone, or any other screen at least two hours before bed will minimize your exposure to blue light that can interfere with the sleep-wake cycle. 

Have a bedroom makeover

Since divorce is a life-changing event, you should go with the flow and change your environment. If moving to a new home is not an option, go for the easier one — a makeover. To get yourself going, start with something small like redecorating your bedroom so you don’t tire yourself and give up quickly. Throw out old furniture or have it redone, put new paint on the walls, add some wallpapers, hang new curtains, and spread a new carpet.

What once was a couple’s territory, now is only yours and you should let your creativity and personal desires define your bedroom décor. While at it, declutter memorabilia on your relationship, like a wedding album, photos, gifts, and other things you share with your partner.    

Practice meditation and breathing techniques

Meditating is commonly used to de-stress and focus on the present. It relaxes the body and mind, helping you calm down and fall asleep. According to a 2015 study, meditation and practicing mindfulness can improve sleep quality by evoking a relaxation response. An important part of meditation is proper breathing, something you can try when you have difficulty falling asleep.

A breathing technique known as 4-7-8 is often recommended by therapists. It involves breathing in through your nose until you count to 4, holding your breath until 7, and breathing out slowly while counting to 8. Repeat this a few times and count as quickly as necessary to comfortably breathe during this exercise. Soon enough you will start feeling sleepy.   

Stay away from caffeine or alcohol before bed

Caffeine is a substance found in coffee and some types of tea that is excellent to stay awake. That said, you shouldn’t drink any of these beverages before bed, except for caffeine-free teas. Unfortunately, these are not only drinks that contain caffeine since energy and some fizzy juices are full of it.