Divorce does not have to be damaging to children. Here are the ten most important things parents can do to help their kids navigate the stormy seas of divorcing parents.
1. Improve communication with your kids:
Communication is a vital lifeline in any relationship, and especially so with your children after a divorce. When you communicate well, it helps them feel safe and understood. Forget about forcing conversations. Look for chances to chat naturally. Watch a movie and chat about the characters or what happened. Also you can talk with your kid in the car, at dinner, or even while walking around a pretty park.
Remember, it’s not cool to talk about divorce stuff, like fights or who gets to keep what, when your kids are around. And don’t say mean stuff about the other parent, their family, or friends in front of your kids. Pay attention to how you act and look, too, because kids notice when you’re not being nice about the other parent. This is important because it can lead to Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), which is not good for your child.
2. Listen Your kids
It’s hard for all parents to truly listen to their kids sometimes. This can be especially true if you’re tired, busy, or having a bad day. Sometimes kids might have trouble explaining how they feel too. But listening to your kids is important for being a good parent. When you really listen, you’ll understand them better and know how to help.
If your child tells you something they want to keep secret, keep it a secret! Unless it’s something that could hurt them or someone else, then you might need to tell someone to keep them safe.
3. Educate Yourself and Gather necessary Post divorce Parenting Skill
Learning and mastering key parenting skills is important for every parent. If you understand how your kid feels and give them the right kind of support and rules, it can really help them deal with all the changes happening in your family. A co-parenting course or the 2houses parenting apps can help you figure out how to split parenting responsibilities, communicate effectively, and work collaboratively with your ex after divorce. As a result, you will learn about practical techniques for dealing with these issues and minimizing conflicts.
4. Keep friendly Communication with your EX spouse:
Talking to your ex spouse might feel like climbing Mount Everest sometimes. But it’s important for your kid’s sake. As well as it’s very essential to the successful co-parenting. Before you hit send or pick up the phone, think about how it’ll impact your child. Keep your cool and act with respect while you communicate with your ex, even if it’s tough.
Remember, you don’t always have to meet face-to-face. Phone calls, texts, or emails can do the trick for most stuff. The main thing is to keep things drama-free. Just figure out what works best for you both.
5. Resolve co-parenting disagreements with your Ex spouse
When you and your ex don’t see eye to eye on co-parenting stuff, remember to put your kids first and talk nice. Instead of blaming each other, try saying “sorry” when things go wrong. You can try to find ways to solve disagreements so everyone calms down. Listen to your ex’s ideas and stay calm during arguments. Figure out what makes you fight and fix it together. Talking friendly and openly with your ex makes things easier and builds trust. By talking well and understanding each other’s feelings, you can work through disagreements and create a good environment for your kids.
6. Co-parent as a team with your ex
Even if you and your ex don’t get along, you still gotta raise your kids together. Working together and talking nicely, without yelling or fighting, makes things much easier on everyone. If you both try to be on the same page and be a team, figuring out how to raise your kids becomes way simpler. The goal is to work together and create a perfect co-parenting plan.
7. Maintain Routine during co-parenting
Maintaining a routine strictly during co-parenting is very important for your kid’s mental and physical health. like when they go to bed, do their homework, how much they can use screens, when they need to be home, and stuff like that. Kids do best when they know what to expect, so it’s really important for both of you to keep things consistent after a divorce. If they don’t know what’s coming, it can make them really worried and upset, which might make them act out or not do well in school. Try to put aside any hard feelings you have, so you can stick to a regular routine in both homes and help your kids deal with the changes from the divorce.
8. Make transitions and visitation easier
Moving between households can be tough when parents share custody – everyone finds it tricky. Kids especially might need some extra time to get used to being in a new place. If your child seems like they want to be alone for a little while, that’s okay! Another thing that can happen is kids not wanting to go to the other parent’s house sometimes. This is normal too. The most important thing is to try and work things out calmly.
9. Control Anger and emotions
While anger is a natural emotion, when faced with a challenging situation, it can also create the most destructive consequences. Not surprisingly it can easily sabotage your co-parenting relationship for you and your children. For your kids’ sake, try to calm down even when you’re upset. This will make things easier on everyone, including your ex, your family, and most importantly, your children.
10. Take care of yourself first!
Happy and healthy parents raise happy and healthy kids. So, make sure you’re feeling good too! If you’re sad, mad, worried, or stressed about the divorce, it’s okay to ask for help. Also you can talk to a parenting coach – they can help you sort through your feelings.
When you’re feeling strong, your kids will feel strong too. If you’re really upset, it might make them worry about you instead of focusing on school, friends, and fun stuff.