December isn’t just about holiday parties and New Year’s resolutions.
It’s your last chance to review your parenting agreement before small problems turn into expensive court battles.
Here’s what most divorced parents don’t realize: the new year is the perfect time to catch custody agreement issues before they explode. You’ve just survived the holidays, you know exactly what’s broken. School schedules are about to shift. Tax season is coming.
98% of custody modifications succeed through simple negotiation, not courtroom drama. But only if you review your agreement now and fix things early.
Let me walk you through exactly what to check in the next few weeks, so you can start 2026 with clarity instead of conflict.
Why This Matters Right Now
The holidays just revealed every crack in your custody schedule. You lived through the pickup confusion, the last-minute changes, the arguments about who gets Christmas morning.
Fresh experiences show you what’s working and what isn’t. Use that knowledge now, while it’s still clear in your mind.
Plus, school transitions create natural checkpoints. Winter break ends, spring semester starts, and you need an agreement that actually works for your family’s current reality not what worked three years ago.
Here are the seven critical areas to review before the new year begins.
Tip 1: Audit Your Holiday Schedule (While the Pain Is Fresh)
You just lived through Thanksgiving and Christmas. How did it actually go?
Review these specific elements:
- Exact start and end times – Does your agreement say “Christmas Eve” or does it say “December 24 at 6:00 PM through December 25 at 2:00 PM”? Vague language causes fights. Fix it now.
- Vacation notification deadlines – Most agreements work best with 30-60 days advance notice. If you don’t have this in writing, add it.
- Out-of-state travel approval – Who holds the passports? What’s the approval process? Get specific.
- Makeup time provisions – Flights get delayed. Kids get sick. What happens when someone misses their scheduled time? Write it down.
- As kids become teenagers, rigid schedules stop working. Your 15-year-old has a part-time job. Your 14-year-old made the travel team. Build in flexibility while maintaining fairness.
- I recommend you to create a chart of every major holiday for 2026. Mark who has the kids when, including exact times. If there are gaps or vague spots, schedule a conversation with your ex this month to clarify.
Tip 2: Map Out School Schedules for the Coming Year
School transitions happen in the new year. New semester, possible schedule changes, different activities.
Check these details in your agreement:
- School pickup and drop-off times – Do they still match your work schedule? Your ex’s schedule?
- Early release days and teacher workdays – These catch parents off guard every time. Who covers childcare?
- Access to school records and conferences – Both parents should be able to see grades and attend parent-teacher meetings. Is this spelled out?
- Transportation responsibilities – Who drives to school during whose custody time? What about extracurricular pickups?
- If your child is starting kindergarten, middle school, or high school next year, schedule a review meeting now. Each transition needs different arrangements.
Tip 3: Review Activity and Extracurricular Provisions
January is signup season for spring sports, music lessons, and summer camps. Before your ex enrolls your kid in expensive hockey without asking you, review your agreement.
Key questions to answer:
- What’s the approval process? – Do both parents need to agree before signing up for new activities? Set a dollar threshold (many use $100) requiring mutual approval.
- Who pays what percentage? – Split 50/50? Based on income? Get it in writing.
- Transportation during each parent’s time – The parent with custody typically handles rides to practice. But is this documented?
- Attendance rights – Can both parents attend games and performances? What about new partners?
- Teenagers often drive themselves to activities. If your kid is getting their license soon, address this: Who pays for insurance? Do they need permission from both parents to use the car?
- And list all current activities and their costs. Calculate what you each paid this year. If it’s not matching your agreement or if there’s no clear system, fix it now before spring signups begin.
Tip 4: Do a Financial Deep Dive
December is financial planning time anyway. Add your custody agreement to the list.
Review child support calculations – Most states allow recalculation when income changes by 15-20%. Has anyone’s salary changed significantly? Update it.
Medical expense sharing – Check your agreement on:
- Insurance premiums (who pays?)
- Co-pays and deductibles (how are they split?)
- Unreimbursed costs like orthodontia or therapy (who covers what percentage?)
- Vision, dental, prescriptions (each needs specific provisions)
Beyond child support expenses:
- School fees and supplies
- Technology needs (laptops, tablets, phones are necessary now)
- Extracurricular costs
- Driver’s education
- College savings contributions
The best expense provisions include exact percentage splits, dollar thresholds for mutual approval, and clear reimbursement timelines. Always try to track every kid-related expense from this year. 2houses co-parenting app can make tracking things easier. Schedule a financial review meeting with your ex in January.
Tip 5: Update Communication Methods and Technology Rules
Technology that worked when your kids were five doesn’t work now that they’re twelve.
Evaluate your communication channels:
- Response time expectations – Is 12 hours for routine matters realistic? What counts as an emergency?
- Preferred methods – Email? Text? Co-parenting apps? Document everything through apps that can’t delete messages.
- Boundary setting – No using kids as messengers. No surprise schedule changes via text at 10 PM.
- Technology provisions for kids:
- Who owns their smartphone and pays the monthly bill? Most agreements now specify this to avoid disputes.
- Social media access and monitoring—what’s allowed, what’s not, and who decides?
- Screen time limits, vastly different rules between households confuse kids. Coordinate basics even if you disagree on details.
- Both parents’ access to kids’ accounts and passwords, get it in writing.
Action step: If you’re still using text messages for co-parenting, switch to a documented app this month. Set up response time expectations in writing. Discuss technology rules for your kids and document what you agree on.
Tip 6: Identify Life Changes That Need Formal Modifications
Significant life changes require updating your agreement through the court, not just handshake deals.
Check if any of these apply:
- Relocation – Is anyone moving to a new city? Most states require 30-90 days written notice and proof the move benefits your child.
- Employment changes – New job? Different schedule? Changed income? Document it and update the agreement.
- Remarriage and blended families – New spouse? New siblings? Step-parents living in the home? These change dynamics and may require modifications.
- Health issues – Has a parent’s health changed in ways that affect caregiving ability?
- Safety concerns – Any issues with substance abuse, domestic violence, or concerning behavior?
- Courts require “material change in circumstances” for modifications. This means significant, lasting changes, not minor inconveniences.
Make sure you document everything. Keep custody journals, expense records, work schedules, and school reports. Even agreed modifications need court approval to be legally enforceable. Without judicial approval, changes are voluntary and either parent can revoke them anytime.
Tip 7: Assess Your Child’s Developmental Stage
Kids change fast. Your agreement should change with them.
Age-appropriate schedule check:
- Young children (under 5) – Do they need more frequent, shorter visits to maintain attachment with both parents? Research shows kids under three experience stress during separations over 24 hours.
- School-age kids (6-13) – Can they handle week-on/week-off schedules comfortably now?
- Teenagers (14+) – Do they need flexibility for jobs, intensive sports, and social commitments? Courts give significant weight to teen preferences in most states.
Warning signs your schedule isn’t working:
- Persistent behavioral changes
- Academic decline with no other explanation
- Sleep disruptions around transition times
- Your child expressing anxiety about custody exchanges
If you see red flags, don’t ignore them. Schedule modifications might fix everything. You may have an age-appropriate conversation with your kids about how the custody schedule feels to them. If they’re struggling, investigate whether modifications could help. Their wellbeing matters more than your convenience.
How to Actually Conduct Your Review (Step-by-Step)
Now that you know what to check, here’s how to do the actual review:
Step 1: Schedule the meeting – Contact your ex now. Aim for mid-to-late December or early January. Pick a neutral location like a coffee shop.
Step 2: Prepare your materials – Bring your current agreement, this year’s calendar showing actual schedules, expense documentation, and your child’s 2026 school calendar.
Step 3: Start positive – Acknowledge what’s working before addressing problems. This creates collaboration instead of conflict.
Step 4: Focus on the kids – Every discussion should center on your child’s best interests, not personal grievances.
Step 5: Document everything – Write down what you agree to immediately. Don’t rely on memory.
Step 6: Determine if court approval is needed – Even agreed changes need judicial approval to be enforceable.
Step 7: File modifications properly – Don’t skip this step. Informal changes aren’t legally binding.
Step 8: Communicate with your kids – Tell them about changes in age-appropriate language.
Step 9: Update all calendars and documents – Make sure everyone is working from the same information.
Step 10: Set your next review date – Regular check-ins prevent small issues from becoming huge problems. Schedule your next review for six months out.
The Bottom Line
Your parenting agreement should evolve with your family. What worked three years ago doesn’t work now. What works now won’t work in three more years.
Always remember, smart parents choose prevention. So, be a smart parent. Start your review this week. Your kids, and your bank account will thank you.